9. Colleen
Colleen
H oly cow, being this close to Ben again was messing with my brain. But feeling him kissing me again? That shut my brain right off.
He walked me backwards until my body connected with the front door and when I gasped, his tongue swooped in, exploring my mouth. I snaked my hands around his waist, pulling him closer, giving myself over to the kiss. He tasted like apple pie and coffee and the feeling of his hard muscles pressed against me was everything I didn’t know I needed.
We’d kissed a lot when we were dating. In fact, we’d never done more than kissing and heavy petting. Ben had been adamant about us not going farther, much to my confusion at the time, although the kissing part had always been incredible. I could kiss him for hours, and sometimes I did.
But this was different. It wasn’t a youthful exploration. Ben’s kiss was confident and dominant and I loved it, giving as good as I got. My entire body was humming with excitement and when he finally pulled away, I couldn’t help the little whine that escaped my mouth.
“That’s even better than it was when we were kids,” he whispered.
I nodded, too dazed to talk. One corner of his mouth quirked up in amusement.
“Can I take you to dinner Tuesday night?”
“Will there be more kissing?” I asked in a breathy voice.
“You can count on it,” he said, his voice teasing.
“Okay then, Tuesday is fine.”
“I’ll pick you up at six.”
He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead and walked around me to open the door. “See you soon.”
I snapped out of my haze as the door closed and reached into my pocket to text my best friend Tara. She was also my cousin. Six months younger than me, we’d grown up together just like our mothers had. We talked to each other about everything.
Colleen: What are you doing?
Tara: Cleaning my house. Why?
Colleen: Can you meet me at Dante’s for a drink? SOS.
Tara: I’ll be there in half an hour.
Dante’s was a bar at the edge of town that was frequented primarily by Cedar Creek locals. It was a little too far away from the main highway for the tourists to stumble across it on the way to Mt. Hood or the waterfall areas.
I grabbed a booth in the back and ordered a margarita while I waited for Tara. She came rushing in about ten minutes later, looking perfectly put together even though I knew she’d been in the middle of cleaning. She slid into the booth across from me, tossing her long dark hair back, and gave me a serious look.
“What’s wrong?”
Our server, Abby, interrupted us before I could answer. “Hey there Tara, do you want a margarita too?”
Abby had been a year behind us in school. Like me, she’d left Cedar Creek to live in Seattle but eventually returned to town. Now she was the manager of Dante’s. She also had a love hate relationship with Tara’s brother Jake. Tara and I were convinced that they’d end up together someday – if they didn’t kill each other first.
“Yes please, thanks Abby. And a basket of fries.”
We waited for Abby to bring Tara’s drink before we started talking.
“Did you hear that Ben’s back in town?” I asked as soon as Abby left the table again.
Tara’s dark eyebrows rose almost to her hairline. “High school boyfriend Ben? Broke your heart Ben? Left you to go away to college and you never heard a peep from him again, Ben?”
“The very same,” I confirmed. “He bought the medical clinic. He’s the new town doctor. And let me tell you, he’s even better looking now than he was when we were in high school.”
Tara took a sip of her drink, eyes closing in appreciation. Abby poured a strong drink.
“Did you run into him?” she asked.
“Yeah while I was sitting half naked on a table in his exam room.”
Tara choked on her drink.
“What?”
I told Tara the whole story, from my mother pushing me to make an appointment to her inviting Ben for dinner and finally, that incredible kiss by my front door.
“Wow.” Tara fanned herself. “He’s a hot doctor who’s a good kisser and single too? Snap him up, girl.”
I leaned forward, looking around furtively in case our mothers had any spies around.
“My mother is behind this, I just know it. And probably yours too. She’s trying to fix me up with him.”
“What’s wrong with that?” she asked. “He sounds very fix-uppable.”
“I don’t like it,” I said stubbornly. “I don’t need our mothers meddling in my life. Also may I remind you that Ben already broke my heart once?”
She rolled her eyes. “Come on Colleen, you were both kids. I know it felt tragic at the time – believe me I remember you moping and crying for months about it – but what was he supposed to do? Get a job at the gas station and make you a child bride? You two would be long divorced by now.”
I balled up my napkin and tossed it across the table at Tara, hitting her in the forehead. She swatted it away, nonplussed.
“You know I’m right. Now what are you going to do?”
“Go to dinner with him, I guess.”
I didn’t sound very excited about it, even though I was dying to go.
“What’s really holding you back, Colleen? It can’t possibly be what went down when you were kids.”
That was the good thing – and the bad thing – about having a best friend who’d known you since you were in diapers. Tara was always able to cut right through to the heart of the matter.
“I don’t know, it’s just that I decided years ago that love isn’t for me. Every time I fall for a guy I get my heart broken and I can already tell that it will be easy for me to fall for Ben again.”
I wasn’t being totally honest with my cousin, because the truth was that I’d fallen back in love with him the instant I saw him in that exam room. That kiss today had only confirmed that I was head over heels for a guy I barely knew anymore. There was no way this would end well for me.
“Not all love ends in heartbreak,” Tara reminded me. “Think about our parents. They’ve all been married for forty years. Happily married too.”
That was true, my parents and hers were still head over heels in love with each other. Every single one of us kids had walked in on our parents in some embarrassing situation. Just last week I’d stopped by my parents’ house to borrow a pan and heard moaning coming from their bedroom. Needless to say, I’d high tailed it out of there.
“Just give Ben a chance,” Tara urged.
“What if this is just some kind of nostalgia we’re feeling?” I asked, voicing my other fear.
“Then you have a nice dinner and settle on being friends. But I think you owe it to yourself to take a chance at finding happiness.”
“I don’t need a man to make me happy,” I said stubbornly.
“Well it definitely wouldn’t hurt.”