Matchmaking the Marquess (The League of Eligible Bachelors #3)

Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Mia closed the door to the anteroom and lifted her fingers to her lips. She kept her back to Katie, unable to look at her maid just yet.

She sucked in an unsteady breath. What had just happened? She could still feel Ben’s lips on hers. Weakness overtook her body from her fingers to her toes. Indeed, she was uncertain how she’d walked without aid into the anteroom, so wobbly were her knees. She wished to smile and frown all at the same time. It had been exciting. Thrilling. Everything she’d ever dreamed about. And—gracious—a horrible mistake.

She closed her eyes, wishing the castle walls would swallow her up. How could it be anything but a mistake? He surely had meant nothing by it. He’d been caught up in the moment. But the moment had passed. The feelings, whatever they had been, were surely gone. He might feel awkwardness for a time, but he would forget about it all soon enough.

If only that were true for Mia.

She’d been pushing down her feelings for Ben for so long, it had become second nature to her. But that kiss… Oh, that kiss had opened Pandora’s box, and she didn’t know how she would ever close it again.

Mia wrapped her arms around her middle. She’d always known she could never marry for anything short of love. But love had always felt so elusive…so far off. She’d never fully considered what she’d give up by being a spinster. But now? She could not unlearn that kiss. Even though she knew Ben did not love her, it hinted at what a love match might be like. And she wasn’t sure she could live without it.

And yet, she knew she had to. But how?

“My lady? Are you ready to change back into your gown?” Katie’s voice held a note of disapproval. But Mia wasn’t certain if it was the kiss or the breeches she disapproved of more. Katie never approved of Mia wearing breeches. But it was dangerous to fence in a gown. Mia would surely land on her face at least once.

But as she remembered Katie’s slack-jawed look after Ben stepped away—after so thorough a kiss—Mia was certain the censure was for more than just the breeches.

Mia released a heavy sigh. Four more days. She had to endure the house party for four more days. Then she would be free of her guests. Free of the strangers crowding her home. Four more days and she could hide in her bedroom and pretend that nothing had happened between Ben and her. She could slam Pandora’s box shut and bury it beneath the clothes in her wardrobe, never to open it again.

Ben would soon quit the country in favor of London. Mia had only to wait him out and she would be free. Free from Ben and his handsome face and delightful blue eyes. And free from the knowledge that he would never be hers.

Mia peered out her bedroom window. After days of periodic rain, muted gray skies were uplifting. It did not appear rain was on the horizon. Mia touched her fingers to the glass but pulled her hand back from the chill. She pulled her wrapper tighter around her. It might not rain, but it was not any warmer.

She wanted to check in on her father, but he still pretended all was well. He would not appreciate her concern, she was certain.

The schedule had them walking along the cliffs and beach this morning. Mia pulled a rug from the nearby chair and wrapped it around her. She was tired, and the thought of traipsing through the sand on the beach and the mud on the cliffs held little appeal. Maybe she could convince everyone to stay indoors and allow her some much-needed library time. She supposed it would not hurt to read over her part for the theatrical.

Katie entered the room, a small tray in her hands. “Good morning, my lady.”

Mia turned from the window. “Good morning, Katie.” She still could not meet her maid’s eyes. She trusted Katie not to spread gossip below stairs, but that did not eliminate Mia’s embarrassment over her less-than-ladylike behavior. Ben had not been the only one doing the kissing. Mia had kissed him in return. It was as if she could not get him close enough to her. Her cheeks heated at the memory

Katie placed the tray on the low table near the fireplace and plucked a card off it. She moved toward the window seat where Mia sat and handed it to her. “What would you like to wear this morning, my lady?”

Mia took the card and stared down at it. A fine print name stared back at her. Viscount Montcort, surrounded by a thick rectangular box and then a thinner rectangular box—all printed in gold. In the bottom left corner was his London address.

Mia ran her thumb over the card. She glanced questioningly up at Katie.

“It is from Lord Montcort, my lady.”

Mia gave her a bland look. “I am not a dimwit, Katie. I figured as much on my own. But what does it mean?”

Katie cracked a small smile. “I believe he wrote on the other side of the card.”

Mia turned the card over. The writing was wide, flowy, and extravagant, just like its author.

I picked up some lovely chocolate when last I was in the West Indies. Please join me in the library for a drink to warm up after the walk this morning?

A scribbled signature completed the note.

Mia stared down at it. It felt…improper. Their whole relationship felt as if it were moving in the wrong direction. For her, anyhow. Was he truly intent on her? Not for the first time, she wondered if for his part it was all an act. She rubbed her hands up and down her arms.

“I believe he likes you, my lady.”

Mia frowned. Gads, she hoped not. Although it would be a lie to say she had not considered the notion herself. Had she not done enough to discourage him? Had Ben not told Lord Montcort that he was not allowed to be interested in her?

She pushed her indignation aside. Perhaps the time had come for her to sit him down and tell him her feelings…or rather what her feelings were not. He had moments of amiability. But absurdity won out more times than not. In no dream or picture could she imagine herself spending any time with him once this party was over.

Mia sighed. To refuse his offering would be rude, would it not? But would accepting appear as though she welcomed his advances? Perhaps she could put him off for a few days, at the very least?

She took one of her cards and wrote out a note on the back. Thank you for your kind invitation. However, I must beg your indulgence to defer to another day. I must see to the stage for the theatrical tonight. Perhaps we can meet on Friday? She wrote an M at the bottom and turned the card over on her desk.

“Please, Katie. Help me dress, and then I need you to deliver this note to Lord Montcort before we set out on the walk.”

“Do you wish me to make certain Lord Berwick is not present?” Katie leaned forward and whispered.

“Why should I care if Lord Berwick is present,” she whispered back. She did care if Ben was present, but no one need know that. Mia raised a brow. “Why are we whispering, Katie? We are the only ones in the room.”

The girl straightened and nodded. “I shall deliver it as soon as you are ready for the day.” She ran her hands down her apron as she turned toward the dressing room. “Did you decide what you are to wear?”

Mia shrugged. “I’m feeling especially dowdy this morning. I think I shall wear the brown gown.”

Katie stuck her head into the bedroom. “The brown one, miss? But both Lord Montcort and Lord Berwick will be on the walk, will they not?”

“I do not know why that should matter, Katie.” Mia grumped. “The brown gown, please.” She sat at her dressing table and unplaited her hair, feeling most unpleasant.

Katie came out of the dressing room, the brown gown in hand. Her nose slightly curled as she eyed the article. “Are you certain about this gown, my lady? It is not very…” she trailed off.

“Flattering?” Mia smiled and looked at Katie through the mirror. “Precisely. If Lord Montcort does not find it flattering, all the better. I don’t wish to give him any false ideas. Yes, this gown is just what I need.”

“But it makes you look so pale, my lady. Why ever did you buy it? Is there not a dress which will convey the same message but at least bring out the color in your cheeks?”

Mia tipped her head to the side, her fingers running the length of the side seam. Spite had been the reason for its purchase. It was the last trip to the modiste she’d made with her mother. This gown, while the top of fashion in cut and style, had done nothing for Mia. Or so her mother said. That was all Mia needed to hear to know it was the only gown she wanted. She’d not worn it since without conflicting emotions. Her shoulders squared out of habit. That gown had been the first time she’d stood up to her mother. But it was also the reminder that one of their last times together had been filled with defiance. It had not been very daughterly of her. “It was the last gown my mother bought me,” Mia said. “She was most displeased by my insistence.”

“If it had not been the gown, it would surely have been something else that earned it,” Katie said. But her eyes widened as soon as her gaze met Mia’s. “Oh, my lady. Did I say that out loud? My apologies I should not even think such things.”

Mia shrugged, a hint of a smile tugging at her lips. “You are not wrong.” She sighed. “If only I did not share that trait with her.”

Katie frowned. “What do you mean, miss?”

Mia gave her maid a bland look. “You need not pretend with me, Katie. I know I’m as ill-tempered as she was.”

Katie frowned. “I have never seen it, miss. I have no notion why you should think such things.” She gave another distasteful look at the brown gown. “If you bought this when your mother was alive,” Katie sighed, “there is even more reason not to wear it. It’s not in fashion anymore.”

Mia stared at her maid, uncertain what to think of her ramblings. But was it not what a maid should say? She surely believed her position required her to utter such nonsense. Mia shook her head. “I care not what you say. This is the gown. Now quit dawdling and help me dress.”

Katie—realizing Mia would not change her mind—hurriedly set to work. She was the picture of efficiency. In no time at all, Mia’s hair was pinned—plainly—and she was dressed—even more plainly.

Mia looked in the mirror and smiled. It was just what she wanted. Katie was only partially correct. The dress did not bring out the pink in Mia’s cheeks. It did, however, bring out the sallowness in her skin. Mia grinned wider. Perfect.

“I understand if you do not desire Lord Montcort’s attentions. But do you not wish to look your best for Lord Berwick?” Katie stood staring at Mia. “Even that gown cannot make you ugly. But you possess many other gowns that enhance your beauty.” Katie lifted her shoulders.

Mia shook her head.

“I suppose if he kissed you soundly while wearing breeches, a brown gown will not deter him.” Katie looked baffled.

Mia swallowed. It would be funny if it weren’t so sad. She wanted Ben to think her handsome. She always had. But if he did now, it would only complicate things. No, it was better for him to find her completely undesirable.