Matchmaking the Marquess (The League of Eligible Bachelors #3)

Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-Three

A light supper had been served to those staying at Hedlund to tide them over until the later dinner. The ball itself would not begin for another hour, leaving the men time to smoke and drink their port while the ladies visited in the drawing room. The very drawing room Ben stood outside of gathering his courage. He ran a hand over his hair and straightened his waistcoat. Then he stared at the closed door.

Mia was in that room. If he was to speak with her, now was his best opportunity.

He pulled in a deep breath. Cort’s ‘plan’ was not a complicated one. It consisted of Ben finding Mia, getting her alone, professing his love, and convincing her she would be better off with him than as a spinster.

‘How difficult can it be?’ Cort had asked.

The lump in Ben’s throat and the nervous roil of his stomach should have been his answer.

He stepped inside and looked around. While they had not established a firm timeline, Cort and the gents promised to reserve all of Mia’s dances until Ben spoke with her. Even Rags had agreed. Which was the final inducement for the plan. It was one of the times Ben was grateful to have six close friends.

When it came time to move her away from the ballroom, whomever had spoken for that set would bow out. It seemed a good enough plan. But Ben did not think he could wait any longer. And in truth, it would be better to speak with her before the ball rather than after the ball started. Besides, Ben had discovered the perfect place to tell her how he felt.

He spotted her sitting on the settee near the bookcases and could not help but stare. She looked as handsome as he’d ever seen her.

He sucked in his breath when she caught his eye. A tentative smile curved her lips at first. But when he smiled back, her eyes crinkled and that little crease at the side appeared. Lud, he’d been wrong. That was the most handsome he’d ever seen her.

Pulling up to his full height, he gathered every inch of courage and pushed forward. Cort had seemed sincere when he told Ben of Mia’s confessions about loving him. But there was a small part—the part that shouted the loudest in his mind—that said Cort was lying…that it was all part of some elaborate ruse. But to what end, Ben could not determine.

He sucked in a deep breath. He had to trust in Cort’s information.

But what if Cort was wrong? What if Ben professed his love and Mia did not return it? What would happen to their friendship? But had not their kiss already changed everything? Was it possible for things to ever be the same? He paused his walk toward her and looked over his shoulder at the door. Perhaps he should leave before he said anything wrong. But she’d seen him. He must at least speak with her else he raise her suspicions.

He turned and looked back at Mia.

Her head tilted to the side, and she’d pulled her lip between her teeth.

There was another scenario. The one where Cort was right and Ben convinced her that life with him was better than spinsterhood. Was a life with Mia as his wife worth the risk of telling her everything?

He smiled at her, and she returned it with every bit as much warmth as his. And there was his answer. He would give anything to be with her.

Ben bowed and nodded his way through the ladies until he stood at her elbow. Now was his chance. If he waited any longer, he’d surely talk himself out of this course of action.

She smiled up at him. “Good evening, Ben.” She twisted and looked around him. “Where are the rest of the gentlemen?”

He cleared his throat. “They are still smoking and drinking their port.”

Mia stood up. “Is something amiss?”

He shook his head. “No, I wondered if you heard the shags this evening? They seem to be making a ruckus.”

“Is that so?” Mia grinned and stood. “I had not heard them. But perhaps we should investigate. I would not want anything to go amiss at the ball.” She moved around the table and stopped at his side.

He put his hand on the small of her back, enjoying the warmth that penetrated his gloves and seeped into his skin.

She closed her eyes briefly and sucked in a jerky breath. But when she opened her eyes and looked up at him, he grinned down at her and her body relaxed.

“I’ll come with you.” His smile felt odd and unnatural. But then nothing felt as easy as it had a few days ago. Since learning of his feelings for her, everything felt more formal…more tense. Or perhaps just unchartered. He swallowed. “In case you need help.”

They left the drawing room with relatively few people watching them. Or at least he didn’t notice anyone watching them when he glanced over his shoulder.

Mia stopped in the corridor and turned to face him. “Just where are those elusive shags, my lord?”

Ben reached out and grabbed her hand. Intertwining their fingers, he pulled her closer to him. His breath hitched. It felt right to have her there. His only reservations were if she would approve.

Mia sucked in another deep breath and he thought she might pull free.

But she didn’t, so he pressed on. “There is something I wished to show.”

“Then there are actually shags?” She looked at him in confusion but allowed him to guide her toward the staircase. They climbed to the first floor, and he led her down the corridor where he pushed open the library doors.

“It’s just over here.” He motioned toward the French doors at the far end.

“What are you about, Ben?” she asked.

“I know it’s not in your nature, Mia, but be patient.” He pulled open the doors, a chilled breeze blowing past them. “Dash it all, it’s colder than I’d hoped, but we will only be out here a moment.”

“Why are we out here at all?” She paused and turned her head toward the coast. “I don’t hear any shags. What is this all about?” She watched him from the corner of her eyes.

Ben motioned with his head to the sunset before them.

“Oh,” she squeaked. “I had not noticed the setting sun.” She lifted a brow and flattened out her lips. “I was too concerned with shags to take note of it.”

Ben grinned as he leaned against the railing. “It’s the one benefit of this blasted weather we’ve been having. The sunsets are magnificent.” He took her in. She was here, with him, the pink of the sunset tinting her checks. “One night, you’ll have to show me the stars that you painted. And tell me all about them.”

She grinned. “Painting them does not make me an expert on them, Ben.”

He shrugged. “Then perhaps we can learn about them together.”

Mia leaned forward next to him, balancing her elbows on the railing and dropping her chin into her hands. “Do you hear that?”

Ben twisted his head and strained but heard nothing. “The shags were just a ruse. I hear nothing.”

She closed her eyes and released a sigh. “Neither do I. Isn’t it wonderful? I’ve barely been able to hear myself think most days. And tomorrow everyone will leave, and we’ll finally be left to ourselves again.”

“And then what?” Ben asked. The one thing Cort had not planned was what Ben was supposed to say. How did one even start such a conversation?

Mia didn’t answer. They stayed there, quietly watching the deep pinks and reds fade to purple and then gray. After several minutes, the sky above turned from a light gray to an inky black.

Mia dropped her head to the side and rested it on Ben’s shoulder.

“I’m not certain. I suppose everything will return to what it was before the party.”

There it was. The moment he’d been waiting for. She’d given him the perfect opportunity to speak up…to tell her how he felt. It was the moment he’d been anticipating and dreading. It could be the beginning of the rest of their life together. Or it could be the end of them.

“What if it didn’t?” Ben stared straight ahead, unable to bring himself to look at her.

“I don’t understand, Ben. How would it not?” She did not look at him either. It was as if they both had things to say but neither knew how to say them.

He pushed himself off the railing and turned toward her. He picked up her hands and intertwined their fingers. Her hands were ice cold even through her gloves. He dropped one hand and ran his fingers over the exposed skin between the top of her long gloves and her sleeve. “You’re cold.” He shrugged out of his coat and draped it over her shoulders. “That should help.”

She smiled at him. And did he see her sniff his coat collar? “Thank you, Benji,”

His arms broke out in gooseflesh, and he knew it had nothing to do with the cold. He swallowed. “Mia, what if instead of things returning to what they were, we changed everything forever?” He sucked in a breath and held it, waiting for her response.

“How do you mean?” Her brow creased.

“What if the rumors proved correct, and you were to become engaged before the night’s end?”

She sighed, looking suddenly tired. “I already explained to Lord Montcort that I have no intention of marrying. And he is the only one that has shown any intentions of asking.”

Ben took up her hand again and pulled her to him. He wanted her to look at him when he said it. He wanted her to see the sincerity in his gaze. “I was not speaking of Cort.”

Her brows furrowed. “But if not Lord Montcort, then—” She sucked in a breath as if she could not voice the name.

He closed his eyes and dropped his forehead to hers, rubbing his hands up and down her arms. “Mia, I’m talking about me. I’ve discovered several things during this house party.”

“Oh?” she smiled up at him. “And what are they?”

“For one, I’ve missed you more than I ever thought possible.”

She gave him an impish grin. “Yes, I’ve missed you too.”

He pulled her closer to him, both to help keep her warm and so he could feel her in his arms. He sighed.

She stared up at him, and he had no idea what she was thinking. Why was this the moment he could not read her every thought? Standing on her tiptoes, she reached up and ran her finger softly over his brow. “Oh, Ben. I’ve warned you about this.” She bit the side of her cheek.

It was only getting colder. He needed to just ask her. “Mia, the thought of leaving for London without you—I don’t think I can do it.”

“Then don’t,” she whispered. “Stay here this Season.”

“You know I can’t do that.” He whispered. “I’m required in the Lords.”

“They can do without you for one session. Stay here and entertain me. Did you not promise to do that this last fortnight?”

“But would that not mean things were just as they’ve always been?”

She lifted a shoulder. “Would that be so terrible?”

He shook his head. “I can’t live with things as they were. I don’t want to leave you here and go to Tweed each night. I want you with me. Always.” He captured her chin between his thumb and finger. “Marry me, Mia.”

Her eyes closed, and her face constricted. “You know I can’t marry you, Ben.”

“Why not?” He demanded. While he knew her reason—Cort had spelled it out—he needed to hear it from her lips. “Do you not love me?”

She opened her eyes and looked at him. He saw his same pain and uncertainty mirrored there. “It doesn’t matter if I do or I don’t.”

“Yes, it does.” He placed a hand on her cheek and dropped his head toward her. He paused, then covered her lips with his. How could she deny that they belonged together? Could she not feel the rightness when they kissed? He was not mistaken that she kissed him back. Should that not say it all?

He pulled back slightly and whispered in her ear. “It does matter.”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

“I do. Cort told me your reason for not marrying. But I think you’re wrong.” He chewed on his cheek. “I think you’re very wrong.”

She scoffed and pulled away from him. “Do not tell me what you think I wish to hear, Ben. I know the truth of it.”

He took a step closer to her. “It’s not a lie. You’re not your mother, Mia. You never have been.”

“You have told me my entire life that I am a curmudgeon. Do not stand there now and try to convince me I’m not.”

He shook his head. “It’s not the same, Mia. If you were, you would not care for your father as you do. You would carp and belittle him at every turn. But you don’t. You tend to his every need, even when he does not want it. Even your arguments are because you care too much.” He took a breath but hurried on before she could object. “If you were like your mother, you’d jump at the chance to marry me, just for the improved title.

Your mother would never have passed up the opportunity to marry a marquess. The fact that you will forsake your own happiness for me? That should tell you everything.”

She frowned.

“I discovered something else at this house party. You’re not as grumpy as I once thought.”

She quirked a brow. “Was that supposed to make me feel better?”

He gave her a lopsided grin. “I’ve discovered you simply don’t like crowds. You crave quiet and the solitary company of family.” He reached for one of her hands again and pulled him toward her. “I want to be your family.”

“But what if you’re wrong?” she whispered. “What if you can’t see the similarities until we are wed? I would never forgive myself if I made you unhappy.”

He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. When he pulled back, he dropped his forehead to hers. “Then you must marry me. Because being without you is what makes me most unhappy.”

Tears filled the bottom of her lids. “I can’t be certain?—”

He put a finger to her lips. “But I am certain. If you don’t love me, I will let the subject drop. But if you do love me, then I ask you to trust me. Trust that I know who you truly are.” He swiped his thumb beneath her eye. “You can trust me, Mia.” He winked at her. “Have I ever led you astray?”

A chuckle escaped through her tears. “I’ve lost track of all the times, Ben.”

He leaned down and pressed another kiss to her lips. “But I’m not this time. I promise.”

She dropped her head back and looked into his eyes. “Are you certain I’m what you want?”

He rubbed his thumb along her jawline. “I’ve never been more certain of anything in my life.”

She nodded her head. “I guess the rumors were true.”

He picked her up and hugged her to him, twirling her around in a circle. He put her back on the floor and looked her in the eye. “You still have not answered me.”

She nodded. “Yes, Ben, I will marry you.”

He gave her an appraising look. “It’s because I showed you what you were missing, is it not?”

She took a long breath. “It certainly didn’t hurt your argument.”

“Lud, Mia. We are going to be ridiculously happy.” He lowered his face to hers, fully intending to kiss her with reckless abandonment.

She lifted her brows. “And don’t forget odious.”

He grinned. “Ah, how could I forget that? It’s rather the best part, is it not?”

He covered her lips with his, forgetting all about the cold night air.