Mate Mishaps

Chapter 1

BUCKLE

Would you move across the country to be with the one man you’ve loved almost your entire life, but can’t have because he’s got a mate and kids now? I mean… I did, and I’d do it again in a heartbeat. There’s no life without my best friend.

When Aaron asked me if I wanted to move my trailer onto his property in Michigan, I didn’t give it a thought. It was an instant yes, but I told him I’d think about it. Aaron’s a mink shifter and the reason my best friend finally knows I’m a shifter, too.

Pax, my best friend, is pregnant with his and Aaron’s third kid. I won’t say I wish the kids were mine because you already know that. I wish Pax were in my arms every night. I wish his ‘I love yous’ weren’t platonic. I wish he were mine.

Every date I go on, I end up comparing them to Pax, which isn’t fair to them or him.

If only I could let him go. If only I could move on.

He’s never loved me the same as I love him and I know it.

It’s been unrequited love and the moment I felt his bond with Aaron, I should have freed my heart then.

But I couldn’t. He befriended me when I needed it the most. No one else knows how dark my life had gotten when his kindness lifted me from the banks of hell.

Something bounces off the side of my head and I turn to face said best friend.

His smile lights up the damn room. And the pregnancy glow makes him shine even brighter.

His hand rests on his bump. He bitches about never getting his abs back, but he still does what he can in the gym.

He still doesn’t look like a typical Omega other than being pregnant.

When he’s not pregnant, you’d have to scent him to know his designation.

I find the stuffie he launched at my head and toss it back. Gently, of course, because I’d never do anything to hurt him.

“How’d the date go last night?” Pax asks as he waddles to the couch and sits.

I shrug. “Same as usual.”

Pax frowns and fiddles with the stuffed mink.

“She was nice,” I say. The unsaid, “but she wasn’t you,” hangs in the air. “I’m going to that speed dating thing at the library tomorrow night. Never know. Might find my Fated amongst the stacks.” But that’s not why I go.

I go because a certain grumpy librarian scowls at me from behind the desk whenever I’m at the library.

Not sure what I’ve ever done to recieve the grumpy treatment, but he’s cute and one day I’ll woo him into liking me.

I haven’t met someone I can’t win over. Which is why it’s so damn annoying I haven’t found my Fated yet.

“You go every month,” Pax says as he tosses the stuffie back at me. “What about laying off the dating scene for a little bit? All you’re doing is frustrating yourself. You’ve been going at warp speed since—”

Aaron steps into the room holding Willow, their oldest daughter. “Got Forrest down for his nap, but Willie refused.”

“Bucky!” Willow does grabby hands for me and I take her from Aaron.

“Awe, my sweet dumpling, how are you today?” I nuzzle her cherub cheek, making her giggle.

I want this. My own family. I say that, but Pax and Aaron and Willow and Forrest, and all of Aaron’s huge family, are also mine as much as my own extended family are.

I’m just lonely.

Lonely to my soul. People see me, but don’t see me.

I’m Buckle. Just Buckle. The Alpha that can’t find his Fated. That can’t let go of his first love. That will never amount to anyone or anything.

“Wha ‘rong?” Willow asks and smashes her tiny hands on my cheeks. Observant little one.

Aaron gives Pax a look, and I brace for whatever they plan to talk to me about.

“Nothin’ dumpling. Just got something in my eye.” I close one eye and look around with the other, and she squeals.

Pax smiles when he takes her from me. I want to resist, to hold on, but that’s not healthy. She’s his daughter, not mine.

“Willow,” Pax coos as he puts her on her feet and hands her the mink stuffie. “Will you take Baby Minky to his bed and sing him a lullaby? He’s sleepy, but refuses to take his nap.”

“Yes, dada.” She wraps her arms around his neck, then takes the stuffie.

We watch as she races to their playroom. No doubt she’ll sing to the stuffie and pass out halfway through.

Pax straightens to his full height before plopping back on the couch again. He looks me dead in the eyes. “I’m worried about you.”

“Moi?” I press a hand to my chest. “What ever do you mean?”

“Yes, you.” He pats the side of the couch. When I refuse to move, he sighs and looks to Aaron, no doubt for help.

Aaron takes a step closer to me. “Maybe you need a trip back home? To clear your head. You didn’t visit last month and your nibblings probably miss you.”

My shoulders drop. “They don’t need me much anymore. Margo got her license. She’s carting all the littler ones around now and babysitting.”

Pax reaches for me. “That doesn’t mean they don’t miss you.”

There’s a reason I don’t leave much since arriving here. “We video chat all the time.”

“It’s not the same, and you know it,” Pax says gently.

“I know. But…” I sigh and plop next to him. “There’s a feeling here. I felt it the moment I pulled into Mink Hollow. My Fated is here somewhere and I don’t want to miss them.”

They give each other a look and Pax squeezes my arm. “You won’t miss them. If you’re meant to be, it’ll happen. But you’re putting too much pressure on yourself.”

I comb my fingers through my hair. Pax can always read me. He deserves the truth. “I’m tired of being alone, Pax. I want—” I wave my hand around the room. “All this. My version of this. I obviously don’t want exactly this. I want mine.”

“I know.” Pax rubs a hand down my back, and I want to lean into him, but refrain.

At least until he pulls me close. He’s gotten even sweeter since meeting Aaron.

He lets his nurturing Omega side out more and it makes me love him even more.

He gives me a soft smile and continues. “I didn’t know about Fated mates when we were kids, and I understand why you kept your shifter side from me.

Now that I know everything, I understand why you’re anxious about finding your person.

But you have to let Fate do her magic. Let go, Buckle.

Let go and see what happens. Maybe Fate will drop someone in your lap and you don’t have to search everywhere for them. ”

Aaron nods. “That’s always been my family’s lore. You’ll find your Fated when you stop looking for them.”

I nod. “I know you’re right. But it’s hard.”

“Maybe,” Aaron says. “You need a shift. It’s a nice day out, the snow’s melted. The birds are chirping. It might do you some good.”

“It has been a while,” I mumble. “I probably should let my chipmunk out. He’s been doing zoomies in my head for days.” I’ve been so melancholy, I’ve been punishing myself.

“That’s it then,” Pax says. “Go get your shift on and play. See if that helps.”

“I can come with you, if you want?” Aaron says. “I let my mink out regularly, but he’s always ready to play.”

I push to my feet and shake my head. “I think I need to be alone to work things out in my head. I know you’re both right about everything. It’s just hard.”

Pax squeezes my hand. “We’re always here for you.”

“I know.” I give them both a little smile. “Don’t worry about me. I got this.”

“And you’re not alone, Buckle. We love you.”

Just not in the way I want.