Mayhem: The Fallingbrook High Series

Serena

Life is nothing without adventure. Trust me, I would know.

I have never considered myself a lucky girl by any stretch of the imagination, but I wouldn’t say unlucky. I was coasting through life, not enjoying it but not hating it.

I never imagined this is how my senior year would start.

I am sitting on the floor in Evan”s college dorm. He just moved in the other day for his freshman year.The room is your typical college dorm room. Off-white walls that looked like they haven’t been painted in years. Two beds, desks and wardrobes. There is even a small TV that Evan brought from home. The room is bare. Neither Evan or his roommate have started unpacking. The only thing they have done is make their beds.

My mind wanders as I wait for Evan to come back with some food, thinking about my life growing up. I grew up with just my mom. I never knew my father; he passed away shortly before I was born. A drunk driver hit his car one night when he was on his way home from work. My mom was heartbroken, alone, and very pregnant. I was born a week later. Thankfully, my paternal grandparents took us in and helped raise me until I was five. Mom was still in law school, but was able to save enough money to buy our own house.

I met Evan- the sweet boy across the street- the day we moved in. I was so scared and nervous being in a new place, but he came over with a flower he picked from his mom’s garden and gave it to me. I remember him telling me I was as pretty as the flower he gave me. My cheeks instantly went rosy, and I felt butterflies in my stomach.

I always had a hard time making friends, I was too shy to try and talk to anyone, so I would sit in the back of the class. One day a pretty girl with long black hair came over and introduced herself. Cleo. She sat beside me and acted as if we had always been friends.

Cleo had always had this aura about her. She is the type of girl that knows what she wants and how to get it. Nothing ever stops her. I looked up to her and wanted to be just like her. I never understood why she wanted to be my friend, but I was happy to have another one. I introduced her to Evan at recess. We became an inseparable trio that did everything together.

Evan was always my protector growing up. No one dared bully me, let alone talk to me. Evan became my entire world. I never needed anyone but him and Cleo.

I tried a few times to make more friends, but he didn’t like it when I spoke to anyone else. I remember talking to this boy named Robby when I was in the second grade. I was happy to be making a new friend, but Evan got mad. I hated making him mad, so I never spoke to Robby again. I never tried to make friends after that.

Thinking about my past isn’t always a happy thing for me. So many happy memories are shrouded in darkness. Things weren’t what they seemed on the outside, but I was too young to understand at the time.

My hands are sweating, and my body is shaking.

I am so nervous right now.

I am dreading having to tell Evan my news. I never know how he will react. All I know is that he is not going to be happy.

I stay seated on the floor, waiting for Evan to come back. He left the room to pick it up from the delivery driver downstairs. Just tell him. He may be upset, but I can”t do anything about it. I repeat this head, until I feel a small shred of confidence.

I just need to tell him. Get it all out and in the open. I know he had a plan for our future - this will throw a massive wrench in them- but I cannot do anything about it.

The door opens, and Evan walks in. His arms filled with our takeout. I shakily get up and grab the bags from him, and place them down on his desk before taking out the containers. The food smells amazing, but the knot in my stomach is making it hard for me to want to eat. Once all the food is on his desk, I turn to him. I clasp my hands together and keep my head down.

Thankfully, his roommate is out for the evening. I start preparing for what I know is to come. I take a deep breath to steady myself, getting my emotions in check. I look up into his brown eyes, searching to see his mood. I never know how Evan will react to things. He is as unpredictable as a snake most days.

“Evan,” I start, my voice shaky. I clear my throat, trying to build a false sense of calm I don’t feel. “There is something I need to talk to you about.”

He grabs my shaking hands and looks down at me. His shaggy, dirty blonde hair is in his eyes, but I can see something dark in them. Evan is only a couple of inches taller than me, so I do not have to tilt my head too much.

“What’s up, Serena?” His voice is quiet and calm, but it’s unnerving to me.

“I want you to know that these last six months have been the best of my life,” I start, trying to placate him. His eyes soften a little, but I can still see anger. He pulls me into his body and kisses the top of my head. I savor the moment of peace before the inevitable battle that is to come. “My mom got a new job. She was offered a partnership at a law firm.”

He pushes me away a little and smiles down at me. He looks joyous, and I don’t want to ruin that, but that is not all I have to tell him.

“That is amazing, flower. We should celebrate.” He says excitedly. It has been a while since he called me his childhood nickname for me. When he gave me that flower the first time I met him, he decided that I would always be his pretty, little flower.

I feel more like the rose from Beauty and the Beast. Kept in a case, only to be admired from afar.

Evan goes to turn back to the food, but I grab his arm. He looks down at my hand. His eyes get even darker, like I have offended him. I know I shouldn’t grab him like this, but I need him to listen to the next part. I take a deep breath and continue what I need to say.

“The law firm is in California.” I spit it out, quivering a little, waiting for the freakout.

He stares at me for a moment. A blank face, calculating what I just said to him. He rips his arm out of my grasp and pushes me against his desk. My lower back slams against the solid wood, and pain shoots through me. His hands tightly grip my shoulders, and his nails dig into my flesh.

The tension in the air is thick, suffocating me. I try to keep my face blank, not showing how much pain I am in. I have learnt it is better to ignore the pain than to say anything. He stays silent, unmoving. I knew he would be angry, but I wasn’t sure how he would react. I should have seen this coming. I should have known better.

It’s not like this was my decision and I can’t stay behind while my mom moves across the country. I tell myself, wishing I could say the words out loud.

“No.” He finally says as he lets go of me, and shoves me out of the way to get to the food.

I stumble a little, catching myself from falling. I stand frozen where he left me, not knowing what to do next.

He silently hands me my meal before sitting down on his bed. I take the food and sit back down on the floor where I was before. We stay eerily silent while eating. I glance at him a few times, but he never looks at me. His eyes focused on his phone.He still looks pissed, but there is a playful smile on his face. Whatever is on his phone is changing his mood at least. Maybe he won’t be so angry with me now.

Yeah, right. Keep telling yourself that.

When we finish, I get up and throw both containers in the garbage. I awkwardly lean against the wall, waiting for Evan to decide if I should stay or go.

“I love you, Serena.” He finally breaks the silence. “I am not about to lose you. That is why I do not want you to do it. I understand you don”t have a choice, but I don”t like that you are leaving. You should be here with me. No one else.”

“It would only be for the school year.” I take a tentative step towards him. His eyes zeroed in on me and I freeze at the end of his bed, not daring to go any further. “I can move back when I graduate in June.”

He nods his head, but he doesn’t look any happier. “I will have some rules for you while you are gone. One, you are not allowed to speak to any other guys. Two, you will keep up your appearances. I will not have you changing on me while you are gone. The last thing I want is for you to gain any weight. You need to stay on your diet.” His eyes gaze up and down my body, sneering at the thought of me gaining weight after I lost so much.

I nod my head, agreeing to his terms. I expected more of a fight from him about this, but at least he is a little agreeable right now. He pats the bed beside him, and I awkwardly crawl to him. He opens his arms for me, and I curl into him, my head on his chest. He starts lightly stroking my hair.

“When do you leave?” He whispers.

“Friday.”

The rest of the evening we spend in silence. Evan put on a movie for us, but I have never enjoyed Zombie movies, so I quickly zoned out.

After a few hours of movies, I look at my phone and notice the time. Shit, I am going to miss my curfew. I kiss him goodnight before getting out of his bed and walking out of his room.

I jogged down the stairs while ordering an Uber. Luckily, one was nearby, so I won’t have to wait long. I start walking towards the academy entrance, my head down, looking at my phone. I send a quick text to Mom, explaining I am sorry and I would be late, but I was on my way home now.

“Oh, honey, he wouldn’t even drive you home?” I clench my teeth. I know that voice better than I wish I did. I look up, and Cleo is walking towards me.

In typical Cleo fashion, she is wearing what I like to call “the five-dollar hooker express”. Nothing against sex workers. Power to you. I wish I had the confidence that they did. Cleo just looks cheap and easy. She is wearing a neon pink tube top and a black mini-skirt that almost shows everything. Her makeup is thick and cakey, making her look ten years older than she is.

Seeing her brings back some of the worst memories of my life. When I was fifteen, I developed a crush on Evan. If I am being honest, it probably started long before that. He was the only boy I knew. Sure, I thought other boys were cute, but I wasn”t allowed to talk to them. If I did, it would always become a big fight between Evan and me. He would threaten our friendship. That was the last thing I wanted, so I always listened to him.

One night, I was out with Cleo. I told her about my crush. She promised to keep it a secret and even find out if he liked me back. I went home that night with so much happiness and hope. I always secretly thought Evan never wanted me to have any other friends because he felt the same way about me. He didn’t want to take a chance at losing me to someone else.

The following morning, I went to school with so much optimism. I walked the halls, ready to find Cleo and see if she had talked to Evan yet. I turned a corner, and my heart shattered. Cleo was making out with Evan against my locker. I dropped my books, and they jumped away from each other. Cleo gave me a wicked smile like she had finally won. I still don’t understand why she looked at me like that. She always got everything she ever wanted. She had freedom and friendships, something I never had the luxury of experiencing. Evan looked crestfallen when he saw me standing there and tried to explain. I gave them a fake smile and told them I was happy for them.

I ran away, trying to hide the tears cascading down my cheeks. Later that day, Evan cornered me in the hallway and explained that he was waiting at my locker when Cleo admitted that she had a crush on him and kissed him. She told him she had always liked him and wanted to take the next step with him. I congratulated him again before pushing past him and walking away.

I had no one else to hang out with, so after a few days, I had no choice but to return to their sides. For the next two years, I had the ‘pleasure’ of watching their fucked up relationship. They broke up and got back together at least once a month. They fought all the time, and I was always in the middle. I never took sides, not wanting to upset the only friends I had. Even though most of the time, Cleo was in the wrong.

That went on until one night when they went to a party. I stayed home that night. I was never into the party scene. Plus, Evan always told me I shouldn’t go anyway. Evan caught Cleo cheating on him with one of the guys from the baseball team. They were hooking up in a bathroom. Evan broke up with her in front of everyone. It was the gossip of the century at our school.

He left immediately and went home. He texted me, demanding I come over. He was angrier than I had ever seen him. I was sitting on his bed while he screamed at me for introducing Cleo to him when we were younger. He blamed me. It was my fault that he was in pain. He slapped me across the face. Telling me I should feel the pain he did.

That was the first time he had ever laid a hand on me. Tears instantly started falling. He dropped to his knees, begging for my forgiveness. Saying he would never do it again. I believed him.

Cleo spent the next couple of weeks begging him to take her back. She apologized to him continuously, telling him that she was so drunk that she barely remembered the night and that it did not mean anything. He would not listen to her. Evan told her that he never wanted anything to do with her again. I was not allowed to talk to her either.

Cleo instantly turned around and started a rumor that I was to blame for the relationship ending. Claiming that I sent that guy to hit on her and sleep with her because I was jealous of her relationship with Evan. She told everyone that I had always had a crush on Evan. Everyone believed her, except Evan. No one knew anything about me, so it wasn’t hard for her to convince people I was like that. I had always been a quiet, shy girl: no friends or life.

Evan stood up for me when he could. Kept the bullies. Cleo and her cheerleading friends turned vicious towards me, and it became their mission to make me miserable. High school quickly became hell for me.

It got even worse when Evan asked me to be his girlfriend. After everything Cleo had said and done, I never thought he would ask me out. He was my saving grace for the last few months of school. Evan was the popular guy. Everyone liked him. By association, people started liking me too.

Things changed between us when we started dating. Evan became a man who loved me and loved me hard. He spoiled me continuously and paraded me around like a prize possession. We laughed and played together again like we were kids. He would say that he was my Prince Charming. At the time I agreed with him.

I hated when he started comparing me to Cleo. She has always been model thin. I’m not and have never been a big girl, but I am curvy. I have always had big boobs, wide hips, and a round ass. I loved my body, and I was confident in my skin, but I was envious of her and the attention she got because of how she looked. I tried dieting and exercise, but when the weight wasn’t coming off, I took drastic measures. When the weight started to come off quickly, Evan constantly praised my new figure.

I did that until I became sick. My mom was so scared that I was going to die. I hated seeing her like that, and honestly, I hated how I looked. I slowly started getting healthier and putting the weight I lost back on.

Evan was livid that I was putting weight back on, and demanded that I stick to a strick diet of his choosing. I stupidly aggreed. I am still thinner than I was, but not as sickly thin anymore.

I was never one to have a bad relationship with food, until Evan made it that way.

He always had a say in my appearance, even as a kid. Whenever my mom would take me shopping, I always made sure to choose things he would like. It was never anything I would have worn, but it made him happy, so I did it. He was never like that with Cleo. She had friends, could dress how she wanted, and do what she wanted.

One night, Evan and I got into a fight. I wore a dress that was ‘too short’ and showed too much skin. He got so angry at me. When I pointed out that he never treated Cleo that way, he backhanded me hard across the face. A red mark marred my skin, and blood trickled from my lip where I bit it. The pain was unimaginable. It was the first time I was ever scared of him.

He apologized profusely that night and said he would never do it again. I believed him again. He kept telling me that I made him do it. If I were not wearing something so revealing, he would not have had to hit me. Everything was my fault in his eyes.

After that, I tried my best never to upset him again. I did what he wanted. I behaved the way he wanted and became the perfect girl. His parents praised our relationship constantly. His mother even told me she always knew we would get together one day and that she could not ask for a better future daughter-in-law.

“Cleo. So nice to see you.” I deadpan back. “Who paid for your time tonight?” I look her up and down. She sneers at me before she tosses her black hair over her shoulder and walks into Evan’s dorm building.

I have no idea who she is seeing. I honestly don’t care anymore. I knew she wasn’t a good person, but I never thought she would stoop as low as she has. She and her new friends still love to spread rumors about me, not that I pay attention to them. Gossip like that gets spread because people are miserable and have nothing better to do with their lives.

I heard Cleo was making her way through the entire football team this summer. Everyone wanted to fuck her, but no one wanted to date her. She was desperate to find someone that would stick with her.

I continue walking to the main entrance. Thankfully, my Uber is waiting for me. I hop in the car and stare out the window until it pulls into my driveway. Mom is still awake, sitting in the kitchen, eating a slice of chocolate cake. She looks up as I enter the room and smiles at me.

Mom was never a huge fan of me dating Evan. She always said that there was something off about him. I always roll my eyes and shrug off what she says. I know my mom means well. She just wants the best for me and always has. It has always been me and her against the world. Her family has never been present in my life. I know nothing about them, and that is fine with me. They didn’t want anything to do with me, and that’s their loss. My father”s family has been there for me, even though he couldn’t be.

I grab the cake from the fridge and cut off a small slice for myself. I sit down across from my mom and enjoy my cake in silence. I did not realize how hungry I was until now. I barely ate my dinner. Evan ordered an all-vegetable dish for me. I wanted to cut a second slice, but then Evan’s voice was in my head. I decided against it.

I rinsed my plate off before kissing Mom on her head and saying goodnight to her.