Epilogue
Six Months Later
Jasper
“Don’t tell me how to decorate the tree,” Avery plays, adding another ornament too close to a group of others.
Wrapping my arms around her, I reach over and remove the shiny red ball from her hands. “How about you go make us some drinks, and I’ll finish the tree.”
“Mr. Collins.” She clicks her tongue. “I never would have suspected you to be one of those people.”
I furrow my brow, leaning in to kiss the soft tip of her nose. “Who are those people?”
She giggles, tucking herself under the crook of my arm. “People who take tree decorating very seriously. You know, the ones who get bothered if the ornaments are clustered together when other parts of the tree are empty?”
“You mean basic symmetry?”
Avery rolls her eyes, ducking her head underneath my extended arm. “It’s supposed to be fun. There shouldn’t be order to it.”
“You feel very passionately about it, don’t you?” I smile.
She shrugs. “Growing up, we always had professionals come in to decorate our Christmas trees. I was never able to do it.”
Now I feel shitty. “Well, when you put it that way. Go crazy.”
She laughs, spinning on the balls of her feet. “I love telling you stories of my childhood that make you feel guilty.”
“You’re good at that, aren’t you?”
“It was normal life for me,” she plays.
Avery slowly starts to accept herself and her childhood for what it was. I love that we can now tease each other about it. It brings light to a situation that wasn’t ideal for her. We’re now replacing all she was missing. I will continue doing it for the rest of my life.
“Not anymore,” I reply.
Avery smiles warmly. “I’ll go make us a drink.”
“Perfect.”
I continue evenly placing the red and white ornaments on the tree that sits in the main living room of my beach house.
Now that Avery has officially moved back to Coconut Grove, we’re searching for a larger home.
Her good friend, Piper, convinced her to keep her high-rise apartment like she did, so we’ll have a place when we visit Arizona.
We’ve been back once a month since she moved here. She can’t stay away from those girls.
“Hey, babes!” I hear Avery’s excited voice from the kitchen.
They’re probably Facetiming again. I'm happy Avery found her circle. I’ve always had the support of Easton, Bodhi, and Riley—my brothers whom I grew up with. But Avery didn’t have that as a child and now, to experience this type of friendship as an adult, it’s irreplaceable.
Avery pops back into the room a couple of minutes later with two old-fashioneds in her hands.
“Piper is in labor!” she exclaims.
“That’s wonderful,” I say. A flash of envy steals my moment of joy.
With her face beaming and watery eyes, she hands me a glass. “I can’t believe it. I’m so happy for her. Thank goodness Dupara Wine Country is only a few hours away. We can head over once she and Jack are home from the hospital.”
“That sounds great,” I say. “Perfect time for Christmas too.”
I set my glass on the table, then turn to Avery.
Trying to form the right words, to ask her what I’ve been thinking for some time.
She might turn me down, and that’s alright, but I’m as sure now as I was back then all those years ago—she is my world.
I have wanted to be a father since I found out we were having a baby for the first time.
Taking both hands and grazing the smooth skin on the sides of her face until I can thread them through her hair, I piece together the proper words.
“Avery.” I smile, my eyes bounce between her hazel-green sparklers. The beautiful eyes I’m sure our baby would inherit.
She wraps her arms around my waist and gazes up at me. “Yes?”
“I love you more than anything in this entire world,” I begin.
“I love you too,” she drawls, unsure where I’m going with my words. “Are you alright?”
“I waited for you for eight years,” I say softly. “I don’t want to wait any longer.”
She pulls her mouth to the side. “We’re already married, if that’s where this is going.”
I bite my lower lip, trying to keep a straight face. “You asked me yesterday what I wanted for Christmas.”
“I did.”
“And I told you, I have everything I could ever want.”
Avery slides her hands up the back of my shirt, caressing my skin. “Yeah?”
I cup her cheeks, tilting her head to force eye contact. “I want to try for a baby.”
A sharp rise of her chest alerts me she wasn’t expecting that. “Oh, Jasper.” Avery’s eyes dart away. Her fingertips fall from my back. “What if I can’t give you one?”
“What do you mean?” I ask, unsure why she’d think she wouldn’t be able to have a baby.
Avery backs away and shuffles her feet to the couch. “I’ve already lost one. I don’t know if I could do that again.”
There it is. Fuck. How can I convince her to try again if what happened when we were young still haunts her today?
I slowly blink, gathering my thoughts. “I understand.” Taking the space next to her, I pull her in and hold her close. “I understand why you’d be scared.”
“I want a baby with you so much, and I finally feel like I’m at a time in my life when it would be an amazing adventure,” she says, her voice slightly cracking. “But what if I fail? What if I can’t?”
We lie back against the couch, her curled into my arms. “Then we’ll get through it together. I promise.”
“I’m nervous.”
“I am, too, but we won’t know unless we try.”
With a deep sigh and relaxation of her muscles, she turns her head toward me. Avery’s eyes flare with fear but a hint of excitement. “Alright.”
I can’t explain the happiness that takes over me. “Yeah?”
She nods, a tear rolling down her cheek.