Chapter Five #2
“Don’t get to wear a lot of nice things on the farm,” I say after a second, and she nods jerkily, like a puppet on a string. She still doesn’t look back at me, but she doesn’t move away, and it’s too soon and I’m messing this up, but I can’t think of anything else to— “Do you want to dance?”
Her head whips toward me, her eyes wide, and I wish I hadn’t asked.
“You don’t have to,” I say quickly.
“No! I just …” She blinks. “You never dance.”
My chest pangs as her face goes bright red, the blush traveling all the way to her collarbone.
“I mean—” she stammers.
“I didn’t think anyone noticed.”
She laughs but still seems embarrassed. “You’re always so serious,” she says. “Standing back here. You’re impossible not to notice.”
It’s like my heart trips over its next beat.
“I used to wonder why you came if you weren’t having fun,” she continues.
“My sister.”
“Rachel.” She smiles in understanding. “She’s sweet. A menace, but she’s sweet.” Her gaze roves around the hall, and her chin tips up. “I’d love to dance.”
My arm shoots up so quickly I startle her, but she recovers quickly, putting her hand in mine. We both glance down.
“Sorry,” I mutter. “My hands—”
“They look sore,” she says, her brow creasing.
“They’re not.” It’s the truth. Or it kind of is. That’s just the way they always are. And she doesn’t seem to mind as her fingers close around mine. I am achingly aware of every inch of her, my body warming as her grip tightens and—
The music comes to an abrupt end.
There’s a chorus of groans and then Dessie’s furious voice yelling from the top of the hall.
“Stop messing with the cables!”
A second later, the overhead lights turn on, bathing everything and everyone in harsh reality.
Disappointment surges through me. It’s usually a couple of minutes before they can start the stereo, and already I can see her friends looking around for her. But Colleen doesn’t seem to notice them. She’s not even looking at the chaos around us.
Her eyes are on me.
“Will we get some fresh air?” she asks, and tugs on my arm before I can answer, towing me through the crowd. I go willingly. I’m pretty sure I’d follow her anywhere.
The obvious spot is right outside the hall, but it’s occupied by a group of thirteen-year-olds trying to light a cigarette.
Colleen takes one look at them and continues on.
But then it’s a couple pressing their faces together and another group of girls furiously whispering in a small, intense huddle and we have to go all the way around the building to where the tarmac meets the open fields for some privacy.
There’s no lights out here. It’s not completely dark though. The stars and the moon are out, and my eyes soon adjust to everything else.
“Sorry,” Colleen mumbles. “I thought everyone would be inside.”
“I like it here just fine.”
“Me too,” she says, hugging her arms to her chest. She doesn’t have a jacket. I strip mine off, annoyed with myself for taking this long to notice.
I hold it out for her, and she dips her head, looking pleased as she turns and lets me help her into it. I try not to stare as my fingers brush the bare skin of her shoulders.
“Thanks,” she says, watching me under long lashes. “Mam was giving out to me for not bringing a coat, but the only winter one I have is my sister’s old one and it’s already too small for me. She says I can’t have a new one until I go off to college.”
“College?”
She nods. “I want to be a teacher. For the younger ones. I always thought I’d work in the school here.”
“You want to stay in the village?”
“Sure. I can’t imagine living anywhere else.” She smiles, looking rueful and a little bit unsure. “Does that make me boring?”
I shake my head.
“Your sister tells anyone who will listen that she’s going to go to London. I thought you might have wanted to join her.”
I can’t think of anything worse. All those people and noise and concrete. I can barely handle the town.
“This is my home,” I say simply, and her smile grows wider.
“You know, I—”
She’s cut off by a rising cheer as a new song starts. Dessie’s fixed the stereo.
“I love this one,” Colleen says, and I straighten, intending to bring her back inside, but she holds out her hand instead. “You said you’d dance with me,” she reminds me when I balk.
“I’m still learning,” I say, suddenly nervous.
“There’s no one here to see us.”
But you are, I want to say. And she’s all I care about. But before I can get myself wound up again about it, her smile drops, a puzzled expression taking over.
“Wait. Learning?” She goes still. “You’re taking lessons?”
“I’m … Yes.”
“From who?”
I open my mouth to respond, but get distracted when she steps closer. My arm goes straight into position.
“Like the pictures,” I say, but she doesn’t need reminding.
“You dance dance?”
“A little.”
A look of delight crosses her face, and she puts her hand in mine. After a second, I place my other on her hip.
I know as soon as I do that it will not be like dancing with Mrs Fallon.
It is in fact the complete opposite.
“I’m still a little—”
Her finger goes to my chin and she tips it up until our gazes meet. For a moment, I feel like I can’t breathe.
She starts to sway, a subtle movement of her hips that sends my thoughts racing before they vanish all at once, and just like that, we’re dancing.
Mrs Fallon’s instructions still bark inside my mind, but after a while they fade and I no longer need to tell myself to keep my shoulders straight and my elbow out.
I don’t look at my feet once. I look only at her.
At her wide, beautiful eyes and her wide beautiful smile.
A delighted smile, that only grows happier the more we move around the small patch of grass and I know I made the right decision.
That all the effort was worth it. And that I would do anything she wanted me to just to see her smile like that.
We dance until we stumble. I don’t know which of us loses our footing first, but we start laughing, and one moment there’s a few inches between us and the next there’s nothing at all.
Her lips are soft. That’s all I can think of when we kiss. Everything about her is soft. Soft hands and skin and soul. She pulls back far too soon, but I find I don’t mind so much when she smiles up at me, brilliant and beautiful.
“You smell nice,” she says, a little dreamily, and her eyes drift to my mouth again. “I should go back in,” she adds reluctantly. “My friends are probably looking for me.”
“It’s cold,” I agree, but neither of us moves.
“I won’t see you until January now,” she says, and I’m confused before I realize what she means. There won’t be another dance for weeks.
“We’re spending Christmas with my aunt in Bantry,” she continues. “We’ll be there until New Year’s.”
“Are you going to the village party?” It’s always the day before Christmas Eve, and our family goes every year, especially as Rachel sings in the choir.
Colleen’s eyes light up as she nods. “You could meet me there?”
“I’ll do that,” I say quietly and she rises up on her toes to kiss me again. When she steps back, it takes me a second to let her go, and a fresh blush steals over her cheeks at whatever expression she sees on my face.
“Happy Christmas, Sean,” she says, and whirls back inside, leaving me gazing after her.
“Happy Christmas,” I whisper back.