Chapter 31 #2
Ansel looks around his office, not a tourist in sight, since it seems like they don’t have any more tours for the day. Seems odd given the time of year, but then again, they could have their secondary crew out there. “There’s no one around.”
“Just don’t fucking talk about her like that. You don’t have the right,” I growl.
“Okay,” he says. “Sheesh.” He clears his throat. “Was there a reason you came in here, or was it just to threaten me?”
Deflection at its finest. He fucking started this bullshit. But I have to ignore it because what I need to talk to him about is more important, and I can’t have him on the defensive.
So I gather myself and take a seat across from him. “I need to talk to you about something,” I say in a calming voice.
He studies me for a moment and then says, “Okay.”
“And what I’m about to say, I have video evidence of you doing, so please don’t fucking pretend like you have no idea what I’m talking about.”
He shifts in his seat uncomfortably. “Okay.”
I slide my hands over my thighs, feeling nervous, because Ansel is the kind of guy who will jump down your throat with anger even if he’s in the wrong, and it’s just not something I want to deal with right now.
“Back when I was in high school, Dwight was going through a lot with Jessica. Remember her? She passed from cancer.”
“Yeah,” he says skeptically.
“Well, one night during the season, he made a wish on the ornament tree.” I can see realization start to form on his face. “It was a wish for Jessica to get better, and when he went to see the tree the next morning, his ornament was gone.”
“Fuck,” Ansel says as he drags his hand over his face.
“This entire time, Dwight thought it was me who did it, and it’s one of the reasons he hates me so much. But from your reaction, I’m going to assume we both know it wasn’t me.”
“Shit.” He places his elbows on the desk and then buries his head in his hands. “That’s who it belonged to? Fuck . . .”
“Why?” I ask. “Why did you do it?”
He pushes his palms into his forehead and is silent for a moment before he speaks, and his voice sounds rough .
. . jaded. “It was a prank on Felix. He told me he was going to make a wish on the tree for a man in leather pants. He showed me the ornament, and it must have been the same as Dwight’s.
I grabbed it that night to be a dick, because it was a stupid wish, but the next morning, when I saw that Felix was bragging that his ornament was still on the tree, I felt fucking sick, because I knew I took someone else’s.
I had no idea whose it was until now.” He looks me in the eyes. “It was Dwight’s?”
“Yeah,” I say. “And he’s been blaming it on me all these years.”
Ansel nods and then stands from his desk and walks over to a picture on the wall. Confused, I watch him take it off the wall to reveal a safe.
Wait, is he serious?
He opens the safe and then rummages through it for a moment before he pulls out an ornament.
“Wait, you’ve kept it?”
“Yeah,” he says. “I felt so fucking terrible. I felt like I needed to keep it in case I ever found out whose it was.”
“Why didn’t you just put it back on the tree?”
“Because the damage had been done. It’s not like that person was going to go and make another wish or ever go back to the tree, because of the shit experience they had.”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
He stares down at the ornament and then locks up his safe and puts the picture back.
“You should give it back to him,” I suggest.
“Yeah, I know.”
And to be honest, I’m surprised by the response, because I would have assumed, given my brother’s nature, that he would have put up a fight about my suggestion.
“Really?” I ask.
He glances at me. “Really? I can be a nice guy, Atlas. I know right from wrong, and what I did was wrong.”
I scratch the back of my head, perplexed. “Um, sorry, I’m just . . . not to be a dick, but I’m having a hard time grasping the idea that you feel bad given how you’ve been, well, our entire lives.”
“What is that supposed to mean?” he asks.
“It means that you’ve been an asshole to me our entire lives.”
His brow creases. “An asshole? Our entire lives? That seems like an awfully big statement, don’t you think?”
“Tell me it’s not true,” I say, feeling vulnerable.
“It’s always been you and Felix, because you’re closer in age.
I’ve been the outsider, and you’ve treated me like that.
You picked on me. You’ve downplayed my abilities.
You’ve even made it hard for me to date by constantly getting in my business.
It hasn’t been a walk in the park being your brother, so yeah, I’m a bit surprised. ”
He takes a seat on the edge of the desk and sets the ornament down. “I didn’t know you felt that way. I guess I just thought I was being an older brother.”
“Yeah, well . . .”
“And you always had Cole,” he says. “I didn’t think you cared much because you were always with him. You still are.”
“I’m grateful for Cole, don’t get me wrong, but don’t you think I would have wanted to have the same relationship with my actual brother?”
His eyes meet mine, and I can see the regret in them. “Yeah, I’d think so.” He sighs. “Shit, dude, I’m sorry. I should have been better. I should be better.”
“I shouldn’t have held on to the animosity either.” I can see that I’ve done the exact same thing Dwight has done. Not talked. “That’s on me too.”
He nods. “Maybe we both need to be better.”
“I can agree to that,” I say.
He lets out a deep sigh. “Christ, didn’t think I’d be having this conversation today.”
“Yeah, neither did I.”
“What brought it up?”
“Betty,” I say. “Really fucked up with her, and I’m trying to make it better. It starts with making amends with Dwight, which meant having to see you.”
“That’s a tangled web.” He nods at me. “So you like her?”
“Yeah, I love her, man.”
His lips purse, and then he pushes off the desk. “Well then, how can I help?”
“I’m glad you asked.”