Midnight Butterflies

Chapter 12

TWELVE

Dove

Once again, my body gave into Reid before my mind was fully ready to.

Yes, I knew he was in my room the whole time. And yes, I do, in fact, enjoy our games, even if we have real issues to discuss. It’s like as soon as I know he’s next to me, I need my fix immediately in some fashion.

I want to say this is all Reid’s doing, but I’m just like him, and that’s where the problem lies. I know all of this is wrong, but I’m in it, and I can’t let go.

That’s why, even now, while I have a million questions running through my head, my hands are in Reid’s dark, wavy hair, massaging shampoo into it. He didn’t want me to, insisting that this shower was for him to take care of me, but I wanted to. Lately, none of this feels real, and I want to keep my hands on him as much as I can.

As I study his face, it seems relaxed. With the warmth of the shower pelting down on him and the steam filling up the glass panes, a look of total comfort is etched there.

With his eyes closed and head tilted down to help me reach his hair easier, I’m unsure how we’ve come so far and yet not at the same time.

Lathering up his hair, I’ve decided that I’m taking matters into my own hands and getting to know the man who claims I’m his.

“You can tell me what you’re thinking,” he says.

It snaps me out of the anxious place I was, worrying about where to begin.

“What do you mean?”

I try to play it cool like we aren’t having one of the first normal conversations we’ve ever had while also showering together for the first time.

“Never hide from me. Tell me everything. There should be no secrets between us.”

Untangling my hands from his hair, I hang them loosely by my side.

“I mean it,” he adds.

“I know you do.”

This man may be shrouded in mystery, but he’s never directly lied.

“Tell me, what are you thinking about?”

“How my body always does what it pleases when it comes to you before my mind can catch up,” I answer truthfully.

He grins widely.

“I like that.”

I roll my eyes playfully.

“Of course you do.”

White gleaming teeth are bared, and it makes my heart flutter.

“I want it all, Dove.”

Reid starts to wash the shampoo out of his hair, and I can’t help but soak in all of his wet muscles flexing. It’s entirely unfair that he looks like he belongs in a shampoo commercial while I’m trying to get a grip on reality once again.

“Did you hear me?” he says with amusement.

I look away from the rippling arm muscles to find his eyes crinkling.

“It’s the first time I’m getting a good look at you in the light.”

Reid stares at me intensely.

A few moments go by, and it starts to make me uneasy about what I said. I begin to trace my collarbone nervously. Reid takes my hands in his and gives them a reassuring squeeze.

“You are the light to my darkness. In time, you’ll learn that’s my only truth that’s worth a damn.”

I suck in a deep breath as my heart practically jumps out of my chest.

He brings my hands up and bends forward slightly to place a gentle kiss on top of them.

“You mean that, don’t you?” I whisper.

“I do.”

“How can you be so sure? You don’t really know me.”

“I’m sure about you.”

“Tell me how.”

“Darkness will always find its light.”

I shiver from his words, and goosebumps start to prick along my skin. A flash of concern washes over Reid’s previously sincere expression.

“Let’s get you warm and in bed.”

“I’m fine, really,” I start.

I don’t want him to not have sex with me in here because he thinks I’m cold from the water. If anything, I feel like I’m bursting from within.

“Next time I fuck you, you’ll know you’re mine without a shadow of a doubt.”

I bite my lower lip at the thought.

“Come on, little bird. It’s bedtime.”

I nod eagerly and place my hand in his, and he guides me out of the shower. In silence, he wraps me in one of my fluffy white towels and then wraps one around his waist.

We continue the comfortable silence in my bedroom. Reid puts on his same boxer briefs and then turns to my drawers. After rummaging through them for only a moment, he pulls out another pair of panties and a tank top.

I shiver again at the fact he knows where everything goes. He’s been in my drawers before. I shouldn’t be surprised, yet I never imagined he would go searching through my things.

“Up,” he demands gently.

Another complex layer to Reid Samuels.

I lift my arms and revel in the way his eyes drink me in. They linger a little longer on my chest before snapping up to mine. He smirks at the notion he’s been caught.

“You’re gorgeous.”

I blush into the side of my arm.

He puts my tank top on first and then bends down to help me into my panties. It’s all far too intimate for what I was expecting.

I brace myself by resting my hands on his shoulders and step in. As he drags them up my legs, he pauses right before finishing and places a gentle kiss to my sex. I wish he would do a lot more there, but I am sore.

I whimper at the loss as he finishes.

Standing back upright, a boyish grin has replaced the more devilish one.

“Let’s get some sleep,” he murmurs.

“Are you asking if you can sleep with me this time?” I tease.

Reid scoops my hands in his, a new favorite place for mine to be. He leans down, and our foreheads connect.

“I mean every word about how I feel, but baby, I’m not asking. I think we’re past the games we play.”

“But I like the games we play,” I shyly admit.

“I know, sweet girl. I do too.”

The aroma of coffee wafting through my bedroom stirs me to life. My eyes feel less heavy than the night before. I know I needed a good night’s sleep after the past few days and, frankly, after the past few weeks and even months.

I stretch, sitting up in my bed, and hear soft music coming from the kitchen. The scent of bacon cooking hits me too. It makes my stomach growl from hunger. I haven’t been eating enough from the stress and unknown that’s been happening lately.

Wait, I must have hit my head at some point last night because I just processed that coffee is on, and bacon is cooking.

I stumble out of bed and find a pair of leggings to slip on. As I’m about to head out, I catch my reflection in the mirror and smooth out my now wavy locks to make myself more presentable.

Opening my bedroom door, I’m immediately taken aback. Reid is in my kitchen looking like he should be my next meal instead of the bacon.

His short brown hair has pieces falling along his face, and a genuine smile is in place. The way he’s manhandling this pan with an omelet has me wanting to kiss the chef.

Another side to Reid that I have to get to know.

“Hi,” I whisper.

Reid looks over his shoulder, flashes me a blinding smile, and then sets down the pan.

“Morning, baby. I thought I’d make us breakfast.”

I walk to a barstool at my kitchen island and take a seat. Once settled, I tuck a piece of my hair behind my ear and give him a small smile.

“Thank you.”

A furrow forms between his eyebrows.

“Do you not like breakfast?”

A genuine smile takes over.

“Of course I do. I just… It’s a lot.”

“Making you breakfast?” he asks, concerned.

“No. I mean, yes,” I stammer.

Reid walks over to me and swirls the barstool I’m on around to face him. His broad frame overshadows my petite one. He tucks the same strand of hair behind my ear that has gotten loose once again and patiently waits.

“One minute, you’re in the woods watching me, and now you’re in my kitchen making breakfast. It’s just a lot to process in a short amount of time.”

He smiles warmly at me and then places a soft kiss on my forehead. As he pulls away, his hand cups my chin.

“Baby, I know it’s a lot, but I’m trying here. We haven’t exactly done this like other people do.”

Reality sets in because that’s true. Nothing has or will be normal between us anytime soon.

“What is it that we’re doing?” I ask.

“I’m going to plate our breakfast, and then I’d like us to get to know each other. What do you say?”

I laugh at the idea. This man owns my body, heart, and soul, yet he wants to learn more about the fine print of who I am.

“Seems like another game,” I suggest.

He studies me for a moment.

“If that’s what you need it to be.”

I know what he’s saying, and maybe I do need it to be another game we play. I’ll give in and act like everything is normal today, but sooner rather than later, Reid is going to have to answer my real questions.

“Okay.”

“Okay,” he says with a smile.

He gives me a quick kiss on top of my head and spins me back around before walking to the stove. As he begins plating our food, I watch as his back flexes with each motion. I could get used to a shirtless Reid cooking me breakfast every morning.

“How long have you lived up here by yourself?”

“Are you telling me you haven’t looked up my property records online?” I tease.

He gives me another smile over his shoulder.

“I’d like to hear it from you.”

Another truth.

“I’ve lived here since right after I graduated college. I mean, basically, at least. So, about five years?”

He bobs his head up and down as he brings over our plates. I take it as my sign to continue.

“I love the seclusion. The life that being out here grants me.”

“I can understand that. I’m not much of a people person myself,” he says as he heads over to my coffee machine.

“The extroverted side of you is the lie?”

He pulls two coffee mugs out of my cabinet.

“You take just sugar, right?”

How does he know that? Wait. Of course. He’s always been watching me.

“That’s right.”

He continues methodically making the drinks.

“I suppose it is. I have a small circle usually.”

When he’s not pretending to be married to my mother and lying to a whole community of people.

“And where is your small circle located normally?”

“California.”

“California,” I repeat.

He brings over the hot mugs and sets them on the counter before taking a seat next to me.

“Did you always know you wanted to be a photographer?” he asks, changing the topic.

I realize he’s making the conversation turn back to be about me and not anything to do with him. I’ll take the bait to see where it goes.

“I did. I’ve always been behind the camera. It was a distraction when I was younger, and then I fell in love with it in college.”

Reid pauses with a fork in hand.

“I’m sorry you’ve had Jill as your mother.”

My head rears back for a moment as my mouth parts to tell him I’m not, but I can’t. Reid and I aren’t lying to one another.

“She hasn’t been all bad.”

I see a question forming that he’s hesitant to ask. I’ll answer it if he answers mine.

“Jill had you when she was fifteen?”

“Yes.”

“That makes you twenty-six and her forty-one.”

“Yes.”

Reid just got confirmation about something I know he has already looked up.

“And you’re thirty-five.”

Reid’s head swings over to mine with an endearing expression.

“I am.”

I chew the inside of my mouth. I have a few questions I could ask, but I don’t want to scare him away. I’ll start easy.

“Is your last name really Samuels?”

His shoulders relax, and his mouth turns down. Then his thumb goes under my chin as he caresses one of my cheeks softly. I naturally melt in his touch, and my eyes shut.

“No, baby. My last name isn’t Samuels. My name is Reid though.”

He’s not going to tell me just yet. Not when we have the main topic ahead of us still. The one I know he must be equally worried about how I will answer.

I nod as I come to accept that not everything is what it seems.

“And Jill,” I whisper.

Reid removes his hand, and my eyes peel open as we both readjust in our seats.

“I haven’t touched her since that day at the country club. I barely did before that, anyways.”

My back stiffens as I weigh what he’s saying. If it’s true, then it’s more reason why Jill would have so easily been swayed at the engagement party.

“Is this the full truth?”

“I promise. Not even a kiss. I’ve come up with every excuse under the sun not to have to even be near her anymore.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“No, I was planning on it if it became necessary. I told Jill that I was open to a fast engagement and wedding ceremony if we could be traditional. It was all a ploy.”

“If I hadn’t been in the picture, and things got bad, you would have.”

“Yes. I would have.”

He’s opening up about Jill, so I’ll continue this line of questioning.

“Why Jill?”

“I don’t want to speak ill of your mother, regardless of your complicated relationship.”

“Don’t do that,” I murmur.

Reid takes a bite of his breakfast to stall, and I do the same. I respect what he’s saying, but this is not the time to pretend like Jill isn’t a pawn in one of his games.

“Jill is strong yet vulnerable. More importantly, she was desperate.”

“Desperate?”

Reid turns to face me and pulls on my upper thighs to bring me closer to him.

“She wanted the life I was setting up for myself in Dossberry. That’s it. She was desperate to get in, and frankly, it was simple for me to be accepted as a wealthy male with a few planted rumors spreading about just exactly how much money I have.”

Money .

“From there, she practically threw herself at me, and she was perfect for what I needed. Someone to pretend with and who also wouldn’t ask too many questions. Having a fiancée was the cherry on top of the image I was building. That crowd could give two shits if it was Jill or not. I was no longer single; therefore, I wasn’t a threat.”

“A threat?”

“A threat to take their spouses, their daughters, or to their perfect cookie-cutter boxes that they call life.”

I breathe out loudly.

“And what will you do with her when this is all done?”

“Nothing.”

I raise an eyebrow skeptically. We may be dancing around the real questions, but Reid must know that I’m aware he’s a suspicious character.

“Don’t be worried. I promise Jill will be fine.”

“Fine,” I repeat, only it tastes like venom.

I take a sip of my coffee; I can’t stomach any more food. Reid must get the sense that something is off because suddenly, I’m off my stool, and he’s wrapped me around him like a koala bear.

I haven’t told him yet about what I saw at the engagement party.

“I think confessions between us are better in the night,” he says against my lips.

“I think you may be right,” I murmur.

Our breathing becomes ragged, and I’m desperate for him to kiss away all thoughts of Jill.

“Favorite pizza?”

“What?” I whisper in confusion.

“Come on, little bird. I want to know everything about you. You’re out of your cage now.”

I place a chaste kiss to his lips. He tastes like a warm sunny day. I can’t help but smile at the reminder of our early days sparring with one another.

“It’s you who’s in the gilded cage, remember?”

Reid smiles that I’m playing along.

“Plain cheese. Simple. Traditional,” I answer.

“I see.”

Reid’s smile widens.

“What’s this smirk all about?” I ask.

“You like your pizza the opposite of your men.”

I hang my head back and let out a real laugh. It’s one of the first times in a while that I’ve felt like I can do so without judgment.

Later that evening, after a day of pretending like Reid and I are just two people getting to know one another in a new relationship, a movie plays in the background as Reid rests his head in my lap.

I was surprised that he kept telling me his truths. He didn’t take any of the dozens of opportunities he had to have sex either.

Instead, he stayed focused on learning about my childhood, hopes and dreams, my ins and outs, all perfectly normal things to tell your boyfriend.

Boyfriend .

It sounds like such a trivial word to explain what’s happening between us and who he is to me.

I play with the ends of his hair as he sleeps. Today felt like I was getting to know the real Reid. The one who he maybe doesn’t show to many other people. He did mention he has a small inner circle; I just wonder how small that may be.

A faint buzzing sound vibrates against my leg, causing me to jolt. It doesn’t wake Reid up at all.

I try to ignore it, but it goes off again.

It must be Reid’s phone. I left mine somewhere in my bedroom earlier today.

I dig between my leg, Reid, and the couch cushion and pull out his cell phone. I start to shake him awake when a message appears.

Jonas:

I know you’re with Dove, but call me as soon as you can. It’s important.

The friend who came to my door to deliver the engagement party dress. It has to be the same person. I wonder how involved he is with what Reid’s hiding from me.

I can’t be left in the dark any longer. Reid has to tell me what’s happening once and for all. I can handle his full truth, even if he tells me in the daylight.