25. Zoey
Zoey
Aethelthryth volunteers to take over my swimming lessons.
We have our first one right after I leave Aerix’s quarters. And already, I’m making far more progress with swimming than I ever did with Jake. I’m not going to be entering the Olympics anytime soon, but at least I can now sort of float without going into sheer panic mode.
I can’t believe Jake’s gone. Just like that. He was here when I went to sleep yesterday, and now…
The image of his body next to that fountain makes my stomach twist and my heart sink.
It’s my fault. If I hadn’t been so harsh with him, or if I’d ended things with him in private, none of this would have happened.
Aerix wouldn’t have killed him .
I lift my hand to my neck, my fingers drifting to the spot where Aerix sank his fangs into me after our confrontation this morning. And, as it always does when I think of him, my mind goes to places it shouldn’t.
“Zoey?” Aethelthryth says from next to me as we make our way back to the human wing.
“Yes?” I ask, snapped out of my thoughts.
“You’re no good to anyone if you lose yourself in this place,” she says. “Focus on what you can control—your mind, your strength, and your will to survive.”
Her words hit me harder than I expect.
“I’m doing the best I can,” I finally say.
“Jake’s death isn’t your fault, but it’s consuming you.” She glances at me, her sharp features softening just enough to let me know she isn’t trying to be cruel. “And Aerix? He’s dangerous, yes, but you’re letting his actions overshadow your choices.”
I scoff, bitterness creeping into my voice. “It’s hard not to when he’s deciding who lives and who dies around me.”
“You can’t change him. You can’t control him,” she says. “But you can choose how you conduct yourself. Which means you have to stop this cycle of self-blame before it has a chance to truly start.”
Her words settle heavily over me, stirring something deep in my chest .
She’s right, of course. Especially because I have other things to worry about—like some of the things Cierra and Aerix said in my presence during their skirmish in his quarters. The questions Aerix refused to answer, about the Blood Coven, the Revenants, and Kallista.
I want to ask Aethelthryth. I’m seconds away from it.
But something stops me. Because while she’s been kind to me since I arrived, the fae are always playing games.
And there’s no reason to believe she’s any different from the rest of them.
During lunch, I keep glancing at the central fountain—the one where Jake’s body had been discovered before I woke up.
It looks so deceptively normal now. There aren’t even any bloodstains around it, since all of Jake’s blood had been drained into the fountain’s basin.
The others in the courtyard are quiet, refusing to look at me.
Including Victoria.
Admittedly, Victoria’s never excited to talk to me. But given that it’s just the two of us at this table—since Sophia’s at Aerix’s quarters for lunch—she usually makes a bit of an effort .
“You blame me for what happened to Jake,” I say after I can’t take a second more of the awkwardness, setting my fork down with more force than necessary.
Her eyes snap to mine, sharp as broken glass. “Aerix killed Jake because Jake dared to touch what belongs to him,” she says, venom lacing her tone.
My breath catches in my chest. Because she’s right. If I’d done something differently, then maybe…
Stop the cycle of self-blame, I remind myself what Aethelthryth told me. It’s not going to get me anywhere.
“I didn’t ask for any of this,” I say, giving no explanation beyond that.
“Are you so sure of that?” she asks.
“Does Aerix really seem like the type who would submit to anything I’d asked?” I scoff.
She glares at me again, which I take as admittance that I’m right.
“I’ve been here for years,” she says instead. “And no matter how many of Aerix’s girls filter in and out, he’s never acted like this before.”
“Like what?”
“Protective. Possessive. Obsessed.”
Her eyes grow more haunted with each word spoken.
“He’s not obsessed with me,” I argue, even though the events of this morning suggest otherwise. “He’s just...”
“Just what?” she challenges. “So captivated that he’ll kill anyone who threatens his claim on you? So enthralled that he’s changing his routines to spend more time with you?”
I think of this morning, when I asked Aerix to choose me over Victoria for breakfast, and I know she’s right. He’s not the type to bend to what we ask, but yet, he has for me, on multiple occasions.
I’m getting a pretty good idea by now about why that might be.
“Have you ever heard of someone named Kallista?” I ask, and given the way she tilts her head, she’s genuinely surprised by the sudden change of subject.
“No,” she says, her brow furrowing. “Why?”
I hold her gaze, realizing with each passing second that she’s truly clueless.
Interesting. Very, very interesting.
“No reason.” I shrug, although from the way she presses her lips together, I can tell she doesn’t believe me.
But apparently done conversing with me, Victoria turns her attention to the table next to us, where Nathanial—Princess Mirena’s sole human—sits by himself, as always.
I poke at the food on my plate, but after the events of today, I’m barely able to eat. The only reason I force myself to get a bit down is because I need my strength after losing blood this morning. Especially given that Aerix will likely call on me again for dinner.
I hope he does.
Because each minute I spend with him will be another chance I’ll have to soften him up so I can eventually get him to tell me more about Kallista, the Blood Coven, and the Revenants.