Chapter 34
Aleks’s fingers rested gently on her shoulder when all he wanted to do was pull her closer. Her cheek pressed against his chest and he thought this might be as close to heaven as he’d ever been.
“Is this okay?” he whispered. He didn’t want to do anything that made her uncomfortable.
“Yes,” she whispered back.
He rested his cheek on the top of her head and let his eyes close again. He hadn’t been lying about the headache. Hopefully the painkillers and the dim lights would make it go away. His head had been spinning from the moment he’d heard her father was back. That he’d broken into Portia’s home.
Aleks’s jaw clenched and he very deliberately loosened those muscles. All that tension would only exacerbate the headache.
Focused on the sound of Portia’s breath, he sank into the moment, clearing his head of everything except the here and now.
“I miss this,” Portia said, minutes or seconds or hours later. “Being held.”
What did he say to that? “I’m sorry. That must be hard for you.”
He held his breath, waiting for her response.
“Sometimes it’s the hardest thing ever. Waking up in the middle of the night, forgetting he’s not with me until I reach for his side of the bed and it’s cold.” Her soft voice was one of the most heartbreaking sounds he’d ever heard. “Other days, the hardest thing ever is cleaning up the messes my father left behind. That night... it changed everything.”
Aleks knew how one moment could change the trajectory of your life forever, but his surgery hadn’t been nearly on the level of Portia’s loss. “Tell me about him.”
Portia’s body went rigid. “Tommy?”
He kept his hand loosely draped over her shoulder. Not holding her in place—she was free to move anytime—simply letting her know she wasn’t alone.
“No one likes it when I talk about him,” she said quietly.
He tilted his head to look at her in the dim light. She was staring at a wedding picture he’d noticed when he’d cleared her apartment. “Really?” That sounded ridiculous to him, but her experience was her experience.
“Well, obviously, they don’t come right out and say it. But I can tell. They say ‘um’ a lot and their eyes dart away from mine as they look for rescue.” Her voice held a touch of humor when she added, “You froze and pulled away so fast.”
“Hey! To be fair, we weren’t talking about your husband. You called me by his name. I think most men would pull away.”
“Fine,” she huffed. “I’ll give you that.” Her tension lessened and she leaned into him again. “You really want to hear about him?”
“I really do.” It was the truth. Portia had been lucky enough to love and be loved and he wouldn’t denigrate that. “He was your husband. I’d be more upset to learn that you didn’t love him. That your whole relationship was a business deal.”
“Not even close,” she said with a laugh. “My father thought he was useless, but we’d known each other forever.” As they sat there in the dark, she spun the story of three friends. Their adventures and misadventures. Bad dates and the best dates ever. Sadness tinged her voice at times, but throughout their conversation, the love and happiness she’d felt with Tommy never wavered.
She burrowed into his side. Aleks picked her up and settled her on his lap. “Is this okay?”
With a nod, she snuggled closer.
“I think I’m jealous,” Aleks said.
“Jealous? Of what?” She twisted around so she could look at him.
He hadn’t meant to say that out loud, but it was the truth. “That he met you first.”
“Oh, Aleks.” Her hand brushed against his cheek in the briefest caress. When she pulled her hand away, he still felt the heat of her touch against his skin.
Realizing he was perilously close to admitting feelings that he’d hidden even from himself, he shifted the topic. “What would Tommy tell you to do about all this? Vyne, your dad, my bosses?”
“That’s easy,” she said with a sigh. “He’d tell me to quit. He hated my job, hated all the time I spent at the office. The time I spent trying to get my father’s attention.”
“Why didn’t you?” The woman in his arms was strong, but he didn’t think anyone, including Portia, realized how strong.
“I didn’t want to quit. I still don’t.” She shifted until she straddled his thighs. This close he could see her scowl. Her voice was strong and sure. “I’m good at my job. I’ll be a great CEO.”
“So do that. Be the leader the company needs right now.”
“What does that even mean? I am the CEO.” She growled at him. It might have been scary if she was wearing her Ice Queen armor rather than soft, oversize clothes. Instead, it was so hot it sent a frisson of excitement to his groin.
He met her gaze. “Are you just filling in for your father or are you Portia Tremaine, CEO? You have the ability to mold the company into your vision of it,” he told her. “That vision needs to come from here,” he tapped her temple, “and here.” He placed his palm over her heart and felt its rapid beat.
“You make it sound so easy.” She dropped her head to his shoulder. “It’s so damn hard.”
“That’s why you need to surround yourself with people you trust. You made a good start tonight.”
She heaved a deep sigh. Her breath warmed his neck. “I’m never sure if I can trust them all the way.”
Aleks’s laugh echoed around them. “Portia, they all tried to protect you from me.”
“That’s because you work for the Solveig Consortium.”
“Exactly. They put themselves between you and the enemy.”
“Hmm,” she said into his neck. “You don’t feel like the enemy,” she murmured.
Every cell in his body flared to life with her sleepy words. Each neuron raced to imagine all the possible futures with Portia, all at once. His headache flared to life, a white-hot burst of pain before everything went black.