Mine Always (One Night with You)

4. Lacey

Inside the bathroom,I take deep breaths and try to calm my racing heart. I had to have imagined that conversation with Ryan.

He can’t just want me. Not like that.

I wish I could find Katie. She’s written all of these cool romance stories. She’d know if he was serious or not. She’d help me figure out what to do next.

I think about his words. I see the delectable woman I’ll be feasting on tonight.

He was teasing me. He had to have been. Men like him don’t look at women like me with chunky hips and plushy middles and think about dirty things.

Fixing my hair in the mirror, I decide to write the whole thing off as some good-natured teasing from my older brother’s friend. I’ve never been wanted my whole life and that’s not about to change now.

When I leave the bathroom, I move to the silent auction across the hall. Ryan wouldn’t expect to find me here.

Growing up the way I did, I learned how to hide from a lot of people. Angry foster fathers. Mean older kids. Even social workers who would do nothing but chide me for all the ways I didn’t fit in.

Now I’ve become an expert at being unseen.

My heels echo against the hardwood floor as I step into the auction to examine one of the tables draped in a white sheet. I inspect the pictures of items for bid including a diamond bracelet and a Rolex watch.

Those don’t appeal to me, so I keep looking. Not that I can afford to bid on any of this stuff anyway. I’m barely making ten dollars an hour while living with my brother. My idea of luxury is name-brand shampoo, not a week on a yacht.

As it is, I put the cost of my boyfriend by the hour on three separate credit cards. Money that I now desperately hope I can get back.

I hear a noise behind me, dress shoes squeaking against the hardwood. Instantly, my nipples pebble and my core aches. My body knows who it is without even having to turn.

He steps beside me, and I catch a whiff of his cologne. It’s lightly spicy and masculine but not overpowering. “A trip for two to the Red Shirt Museum in New York. Are you going to bid on that?”

“The museum is a complete replica of the original set,” I tell him. I read the little place card for it twice. I never had anybody that shared a hobby with me and it’s cool getting into his.

“If you learn Vulcan, I’ll take you there,” he teases.

I laugh, wondering how you seduce someone in Vulcan. I really like this about Ryan. He’s not just hot and strong and caring. He’s also a…friend. That’s something I haven’t had a lot of in my life.

“You were trying to hide from me,” he says. Even though we’re alone in the room, he whispers. It feels intimate, like we’re more than friends.

I don’t answer him. I keep staring at the sign for the trip for two. There will never be a two with me and Ryan. But I’d kind of like it if there were. If I had someone who would go on adventures with me.

“Dance with me. This song is my favorite,” he says before tugging my body against him again. He pulls me closer now than he did in the ballroom and I feel his hardness against my belly.

“What is the song?” I ask, trying not to focus on the fact that he’s aroused. Or the fact that it’s doing funny things to my insides. I feel nervous and jittery and excited all at once. Like the time I had too many espresso shots.

“Wonderful Tonight,” He hums along to the music. “My parents danced to it every night when I was a kid.”

It’s the most I’ve ever heard about his past. “Do they still?”

His voice is quiet. “I don’t know. I haven’t seen them in years.”

I’m curious about Ryan. There are so many things I want to learn about him. Instead of asking questions, I say, “I’m sorry.” Then I tuck myself against him, letting my body completely relax.

We dance through the next two songs until more partygoers are entering the auction room to examine the items up for bid.

He threads his fingers through mine and leads me to the terrace outside. I breathe in the humid June air and welcome the feeling of the evening breeze against my face.

“They were good parents,” he says.

I reach out to put a hand over his suitcoat. “You don’t owe me the story.”

Of all the people in the world, I understand not wanting to show off wounds that still bleed.

He stares at my hand before saying, “I’d like to tell you.”

I squeeze his forearm, noticing how muscular and strong it is. Just like the rest of the man. “Then I’d like to hear it.”

“They loved me and tried to do right by me. But when I came home from the war, I was a mess. They didn’t know how to help me. My dad and I said some ugly things and that was it. I haven’t spoken to them in five years now.”

I absorb his words. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have a family for my whole life then suddenly have them gone. The most I ever got at the good homes were a few weeks, just enough to get a taste of what a real family would be like. “Do you ever reach out?”

“So much time has passed. So many words were said.” He swallows. “I became an alcoholic after I got home. The shit I saw in the war, the things I did. It ate at me, and I dumped all that hate and pain on them.”

“I bet they’d forgive you if you called them,” I offer. I hope that’s the right thing to say. I don’t have the first clue how families work. It’s another mark against me, another reason that I’m not good enough to be with Ryan.

“They have a place about an hour from here,” he says. “Every time I’m on the interstate, I tell myself that I’ll take that exit to their home. But I never do.”

“Maybe one day you’ll find your way back to them.” Without realizing it, I’ve started rubbing his back in a slow circle. I’m not sure who I’m trying to comfort. I just know that it makes me sad to think that Ryan is as alone in the world as I am.

“Maybe.” There’s a note of uncertainty and pain in his voice as he speaks the single word. He shakes his head as if he’s clearing it and says, “Let’s go have dinner.”

* * *

Inside the ballroomwhere tables have been set up for a meal, I frown when I realize my name isn’t on a place card anywhere.

I try not to let it bother me that I didn’t get my own seat. I just started working for Alpha Defense and I bet the guest list was assembled weeks ago.

“You’re with me,” Ryan says as he tugs me toward his table. His words and the gesture warm me more than they should.

The dinner is a seven-course meal, and each dish is more decadent than the last. I’ve never had food like this, and I keep taking cues from Ryan about which forks to use and how to place my napkin.

Todd, the man across from me, is friendly and keeps up a steady conversation as I eat, which helps to ease my nerves. He’s a lot more talkative than Ryan who has been sitting in stone cold silence since Todd started conversing with me.

Ryan takes a sip of his water. Suddenly, it makes sense that there’s never any beer at Eric’s place and that Ryan wouldn’t accept the champagne I offered him tonight.

Todd asks if I’m single, interrupting my thoughts on Ryan’s sobriety.

Ryan answers for me. “She’s not.”

I frown at him, unsure of what to do in the situation. I won’t make a liar out of Ryan in front of all his work colleagues. He doesn’t mean that…does he?

He gives me a reassuring smile and underneath the tablecloth, he puts a hand on my thigh in a firm grip. The possessive gesture sends tingles through my body.

The man across from us instantly turns his attention to the next woman at the table and now I remember that I’ve seen Todd before. He’s known around the office as a notorious womanizer.

“Thanks for saving me, Captain,” I whisper into Ryan’s ear.

“Follow me,” he says, tugging on my hand.

He makes an excuse about getting me on the dance floor to his colleagues before he pulls me into the women’s bathroom.

“What are you doing?” I ask as he checks the stalls to make sure they’re empty. When he’s satisfied that we’re alone in the posh space, he shoves the red settee in the lounge area behind the door.

Then he crosses the bathroom to where I’m standing. He crowds my personal space, giving me a naughty grin. “I’m having a quickie with my woman.”