Mine Now (The Phantom Vipers MC)

14. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Blake

I feel like the nonexistent walls are closing in around me as I try and ground myself to the deck. The beat of my heart is loudly thumping in my ears. The crisp night air filtering through my lungs lets me know that I am still alive. What if Craig still loves me and I am fucking this all up by being out here in the middle of no where? He was always so good at making me doubt myself, twisting things until I couldn’t tell up from down. What if I just misunderstood? What if this whole thing has been my fault all along? I hurt him. I know I did. I made him angry. And now, I’ve made it worse by running.

Hunter holds my phone out to me, and I grab it quickly before standing and darting for the door. But before I even take a few steps, I’m being turned around and pressed against his chest. “Where are you going?”

I push against him. “Stop, let me go. I need to leave. I have to go back home.”

He gives me a severe look. “You will do no such thing.”

I stare up at his face. Who does he think he is? “Who are you to tell me where I can and can’t go?” I push off him once more, and this time he releases me. “You are no better than him if that’s the case.”

The look that crosses his face is like a knife to my gut. Pain. As if my words wounded him. But why should he care about what I say? I am nothing to anyone. Worthless. A burden .

I stomp off the back porch and head for the door before he has time to say another word. I shouldn’t have let him answer the fucking phone. Now I will have even more hell to pay when I go back home.

The next morning, I wake up in a fog. It takes me a moment to figure out where the hell I am. My mouth is dry, and my fingertips are raw from the amount of nail-biting I did last night before finally passing out. My mind feels bruised from turning over every possible excuse, every way I could explain this to Craig and somehow make it okay. But nothing feels right. No matter how I spin it, I know I’ve crossed a line that can’t be undone.

But maybe… maybe I can fix it.

Maybe he’s just hurt. Maybe if I go back and explain, if I tell him I’m sorry, if I take care of him the way I should have before—I can make this right. If I show him I didn’t mean to hurt him, maybe he won’t be so mad. Maybe he’ll forgive me.

He always says I make him this way. That I push him too far. That I don’t listen. That I make things worse.

What if this really is my fault?

I press the heels of my hands to my eyes, trying to block out the spiraling thoughts. He could find me anyway. And if I don’t go back on my own, what will he do? Will he hurt Charlie to punish me?

A shudder rolls through me.

I have to go back.

A soft light filters through the window, signaling the start of the day. Charlie is still curled up, lost in the kind of peaceful sleep I can never seem to grasp. I let my eyes linger on her, my heart squeezing tight.

I’m doing this for her.

I tell myself that over and over as I slip into the bathroom, turn on the shower, and brace myself for what comes next.

I have to leave today. I have to go back and beg for forgiveness. That’s the only way to make this right.

The sound of the shower didn’t bother Charlie at all, as she still sleeps peacefully under the covers. I make sure to pack all of our belongings and sit them by the bedroom door. I need to talk to Hunter and let him know my plans. I don’t want him getting anymore involved than he already is.

When I open the door and take a step out, I fall directly on top of Hunter. I scramble from his arms and scoot away, giving him a confused look. “What the hell are you doing on the floor?”

He stretches his body and slowly rises. “I didn’t want you to run away in the middle of the night.” He smirks, holding his hand out to me.

I don’t take it though, choosing instead to push myself to my feet and take another step backward. Before we can even start the day, I blurt out what I need to. “We are leaving today.”

His smirk turns to a grim line as he shakes his head. “Where will you go?”

I bite my lip. I am not ready for the fall out that I know is to come. He will try to force me to stay. He will tell me that I am stupid for wanting to go back. That I’m making a mistake. That I don’t see things clearly. But he doesn’t understand. I look at the ground. “Home.”

Even saying the word feels wrong, like it doesn’t belong to me. Like I don’t belong anywhere.

I brace myself for the screaming and anger, but it never comes. He just slowly nods and walks toward the kitchen. “As you wish, Crash,” he mumbles before stepping around the corner.

I am stunned into silence.

As I wish?

That’s it? No argument? No angry words or desperate pleas?

He is just going to let me leave? I can go, and he won’t be mad?

A sharp ache presses against my ribs, and I don’t know if it’s relief or disappointment.

Then the darker thoughts seep inside my brain, slithering in before I can stop them . Of course, he’s letting me go. Why wouldn’t he?

It’s probably because he’s ready to get rid of me.

I bet he’s relieved.

He didn’t sign on for crazy husbands or the baggage that comes with me. He was just giving me a place to stay for the night—out of pity.

I am worthless to him, too.

Just like I am to Craig. Just like I always have been.

My chest tightens, and I swallow the lump in my throat. I don’t know why that thought saddens me so much. It shouldn’t. I shouldn’t care.

But I do.

And that terrifies me.