Mine Now (The Phantom Vipers MC)

19. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Hunter

I don’t think I have ever had to work this hard to kiss a woman. In fact, I am pretty sure that most women would fall to their knees for my attention. But not Blake. This is the second time I have wanted to lean in and kiss her, and I wasn’t stopping this time.

Her lips are soft against mine, and it takes everything in me not to deepen the kiss further. She fists my shirt, holding me against her, but she makes no effort in opening her mouth for me to explore. For this, I stay in her boundaries. Pressing a little harder, I end the kiss after a moment and take a step back. I gauge her reaction to what I’ve just done. Will she be upset with me that I didn’t wait for permission? Will she run screaming for the hills?

I know she has been through a lot, and I don’t want to upset her further by giving in to my own desires. But the way she can cut off her pain and enjoy the moment while it is happening is breathtaking. I want more of it. She makes me feel young again.

Walking back into the kitchen to finish making the pancakes, I find Charlie huddled in the corner of the island. Her knees are pulled toward her body, and she rests her head in her arms. “What are you doing down there?” I smirk, thinking she is playing hide and seek or something.

When she lifts her head and I see the tears trailing down her face, I sink to my knees next to her and pull her onto my lap.

“Oh, pretty girl. What happened?”

She pushes off my chest and tries to squirm away. “You were hurting Mommy, and I couldn’t save her!”

I am shocked. I didn’t realize that she would think that. We were just playing a game. I reign in my racing thoughts and grab her lightly by the chin to steady her. “I wasn’t hurting your mommy, honey. I was playing with her to get her with the flour, is all.” After the silence travels between us, I hold out my hand. “Come on and I’ll show you.” She looks at my hand and shakes her head. I give her a small smile and nod toward the hall. “You can follow me, sweetheart.”

When she spots her mother, she lets me go and runs to her, hugging her around the waist. “Mommy!”

I lean against the door jamb. “See, I told you she was fine.”

Blake looks at me with a confused look. “What’s wrong?”

I shrug. “She thought I hurt you when I chased you down the hall.”

She grasps both sides of Charlie’s face and kisses her forehead. “I’m okay, my love. We were just playing and having fun. I pinky promise.” She holds out her pinky, and they clasp them together.

“Okay, Mommy. I believe you.” Charlie looks over her shoulder at me and gives me a small smile. “Thanks for not hurting my mommy.”

Her words pierce me like knives. Why would she ever need to thank someone for that? “I would never hurt your mother, Charlie, or you for that matter.”

She studies me for a moment to see if I am telling her the truth and then walks toward me and holds out her pinky. “Do you pinky swear?”

I look up at Blake for some help here, but she is just giggling behind her daughter. I stick out my gruff, callused pinky toward this sad little five-year-old and hook it with hers. “I pinky swear it.”

She gives me a serious look and then says, “You can’t break a pinky promise, Mr. Hunter, or bad things will happen to you.”

I nod as she releases my finger.

Then she does something I wasn’t prepared for. She wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes me tightly.

A calmness that I haven’t felt in so long settles over me and breaks down the walls I have spent years building to protect my heart from the pain of loss. I tense at her touch, too terrified to move in any way possible or it might break the calm.

Tears pool in my eyes as the memories of my daughter flash across my mind. Bringing with it a searing pain in my chest.

My little brown hair, green eyed sweet girl, running through the sunflowers on a beautiful summer evening. “Come play with me, Daddy,” she calls, holding out her hand toward me.

“I’m coming, Moo. Don’t you worry.” I scrambled to catch up to her. Almost losing sight of her in the dense flowers, making it hard to see.

Her blond hair bounces to the left of the patch I’m standing in, and I take off in that direction. It feels like I’m running forever, and still I don’t catch up with her. “Moo? Where are you, baby?” I call softly. But my soft calls turn into screams as I feel like she is no longer there.

I wrap my arms around Charlie’s frail body and another memory flashes.

Smoke bellows from the engine of the SUV my ol’ lady and my daughter are still in. It’s flipped over on its side, and there is a blood-curdling scream coming from within. “It’s okay!” I yell as I try to flip the vehicle back on the road. It’s no use; I am not strong enough.

I climb the back of the vehicle so that I can get inside to my family. The heat sears my palms with each step I take until I am on the top. The flames are starting to grow now, but I don’t care about the threat. I don’t care if I die right here. I will get my family out of this vehicle.

Once I reach the top and look down into the cab, I feel nothing. My entire body is numb, and my heart crumbles in my chest.

I let out an agonizing scream as someone attempts to pull me from the vehicle, and suddenly I land on my ass.

“Get her out of there!” I scream. I push at the hands that hold me down, keeping me at a safe distance. “Do you know who you are fucking messing with? Get my baby out of there!”

Tears trail down my face in waves as moment after moment of that horrible night plays through my mind. I squeeze a little tighter around Charlie. No one will ever take her from me again. “You’re hurting me,” she whispers, trying to pull herself from my grasp.

Her voice lands on deaf ears. I’m too hurt to register anything around me. I feel like I’m in a fog that threatens to consume me if I don’t hold onto something. That is, until Blake takes a step toward me, and my eyes flick to hers. Concern is written on her face as she reaches out a hand to her child.

I look down at Charlie, who is giving me a pleading look, and quickly let her go. I do it so fast, I nearly fall on my ass before rushing out of the room. I go through the house and onto the back porch for some fresh air. I probably just scared that poor kid half to death.

And all she did was fucking hug me. Why am I such a piece of shit?

I sit on the back porch, tearing myself up for a long time. I can’t stop thinking about what happened with Charlie, but also how I wasn’t able to save my own daughter in that car accident so long ago.

Nearly an hour goes by before I hear the soft sound of the sliding door opening behind me. I don’t bother looking over my shoulder to see who it is. There is only one person it can be.

Blake’s scent filters through the air as she walks around my chair and takes a seat in the one across from me. I close my eyes for a brief moment before piercing her with my gaze. She nibbles on her lip as she thinks about what she should say.

I let out a breath and save her from having to speak first. “You should be back in bed.”

Her body goes still. “I’m sorry, I just got Charlie down, and I wanted to check on you.”

“Why are you sorry? I am the one who should be apologizing for what I did to Charlie . ”

She shakes her head. “Charlie is ok, really.”

I run my hand through my hair and let out a sigh. “It was uncalled for, Blake. I was stuck in the past and should have never scared her like that.” I look up at the sky for a moment before looking back at her. “Why are you checking on me? I’m just out here trying to clear my head.”

She shrugs. “Just felt like the right thing to do. You seemed like you were upset.”

My lips form a grim line. “I was upset with myself more than anything. When Charlie wrapped her arms around me, it triggered shit from my past that I was not prepared for.”

Her eyes widen. “All she did was give you a hug. Is there something wrong with that?”

I can hear the defensive tone as she attempts to protect her child from me. She doesn’t realize it yet, but I would never harm her child.

“There is nothing wrong with what Charlie did.” I take a long drag of my cig.

“Then what did it trigger?” she whispers.

I shake my head. I don’t know if I am capable of talking about it. “It’s nothing.”

She rests her hands on her knees and then stands. “Very well. I’m going to go lay down, then.”

As she brushes past me, I reach out to grab her wrist, stopping her. I don’t want to spill my secrets or show what a broken man I am to this woman who barely knows me. But I don’t want her to leave. Her presence brings me a peace that I am not prepared to lose right now.

Her blue gaze settles on mine as she raises her brow.

“I… it’s just a hard subject to talk about. But I don’t want you to leave.” I stare up at her as if to will her to stay with my mere gaze, but she just stands in silence, waiting for my words. “Will you sit with me?”

She hesitates for a moment before nodding and taking her seat once more. The distance between us feels like miles apart, and I aim to fix it. I want her to sit with me. Close to me. So I can feel her warmth.

Her gaze penetrates me. She looks so intently at me that I feel like I may combust. My skin feels on fire, and I shift in my chair to get more comfortable. I grab another cigarette from the pack to keep my hands to myself. Once I take my first drag, I steady myself for what I’m about to say.