28. Aries Season
ARIES SEASON
You’ll be feeling the Full Moon in Scorpio tonight. It may be time to let go of a grudge or baggage that hasn’t been serving you. Make room for new beginnings.
You guys really didn’t have to come see me off,” I tell my family, still in a bit of shock at their unexpected arrival. I leave for California tomorrow for my Stanford interview and had planned on a quiet night of packing.
Not just for the trip. But packing packing. Because if all goes well, I have a cross-country move ahead of me. And even if it doesn’t go well, I still plan to move back to the city to resume a lecture position at Nova. Win-win.
But just as I’d been debating between ordering pizza and making scrambled eggs for dinner, my family had shown up at Lillian’s front door in a scene right out of a movie finale. They have since whisked me away for a good-luck dinner at an Italian restaurant on the Upper East Side.
“Don’t get too excited. It was only an hour-long flight,” my brother Brian says, not looking up from his menu.
I smile as my mother swats him on the back of his head, a gesture I haven’t seen since we were kids.
“Seriously?!” Brian says, rubbing the back of his head. “What the f—”
He catches her glare, then gives me an apologizing smile. “We were happy to make the trip, however long, sis.”
“Uh-huh,” I say, though I smile back. “But seriously, you guys. I really appreciate the support.”
“We know. You cried ,” Jamie says, smart enough to dodge when my mom’s hand comes for his head.
“Okay, in my defense, the entire family has never come to New York. Ever. I mean, I’m grateful, but—”
“We were afraid you’d tell us not to come,” Mom says. “Especially after Christmas.”
I reach out and squeeze her hand with a reassuring smile. “I’m thrilled that you’re all here. It really… it means a lot.”
Jamie waggles his eyebrows. “You nervous?”
“So nervous,” I confide, and I can tell from the quick glances between my parents that they’re surprised by my admission. We Reeds don’t do nervous, we don’t do doubt, we don’t do… vulnerability. At least not externally.
But while I may not have much time for reading my horoscope in the future, or assessing potential boyfriends’ natal charts, I can’t deny that this past year—shedding the scientist cape, entering the whimsical world of astrology—has changed me.
It’s allowed me to accept that there are facets of my personality, of my person, of my very soul that can’t be explained or rationalized.
Because there is no logical reason I should be nervous about the upcoming interview. Intellectually, I know it’s just a formality. Dr. Samuel himself has indicated that we’ll be discussing compensation, which tells me the job is mine for the taking. That come summer term, I’ll be a Northern California resident.
But that doesn’t erase the fact that emotionally, my stomach is tied up in knots. Exposing that part of myself to my family, while a little foreign, feels surprisingly… good.
“Did you know I went to school with Dr. Chang?” my father asks from beside me. “He’ll be on the interview panel. You’ll have to tell him I say hello. It might help.”
“Sure, of course.”
“I heard Dr. Lena Goodrich will be there as well. I’d like to pick her brain,” Brian adds.
“You’d like to pick more than that,” Jamie mutters under his breath, this time failing to dodge my mother’s swipe.
My dad ignores his sons and gives me an encouraging smile. “I think your chances are looking good. And even if this doesn’t work out, you’ll still land on your feet. Find something even better.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Don’t thank me. It’s just the way the stars have written it,” my dad says, looking adorably eager as he pulls his phone out of his blazer pocket. “Check this out. I did your whole chart reading, and there’s just no way the next few months don’t hold good things for you.”
I lift a hand to my lips to hide my affectionate smile before looking around the table. “So, exactly how aggressive was my tantrum on Christmas?”
“You reminded me of lightning,” says my sister-in-law Emily, sounding a bit awed. “I thought you were going to channel all the energy from the cosmos and set the table on fire.”
“You were intense,” Jamie agrees. “It was cool, actually. Seeing beneath the mask a bit.”
I smile because I know it’s true. I had been living behind a mask.
And the past few months, I feel like I’ve just started to shed it. To learn who Miranda really is, and yet…
My disastrous conversation with Archer continues to loop through my head.
Wondering if I haven’t really grown at all. If I’m not just putting on a different mask and calling it improvement.
“You were quite right to chastise us,” Mom says, surprising me. “We’ve had some uncomfortable conversations since December, and I think we’ve all come to realize that our family value system can be a bit… rigid. And we got you something. A little good luck token.” My mother slides a small box across the table.
“Oh. Wow,” I say, because my family is not big on spontaneous anything , and now I have a spontaneous visit and a surprise gift.
I tug the white ribbon and flip open the tiny jewelry box to find a pair of delicate gold earrings. “Scorpio,” I say, recognizing the constellation’s symbol immediately.
“I know that you’re a Virgo sun,” Mom says quickly. Nervously. “And the important one, the ascendant, is Gemini. But your aunt told us that your moon sign was a Scorpio. And that the moon sign is what rules your emotions. Your intuition. It’s what we’ve all seen you get in touch with this past year. And it’s what we’re all most proud of. Whatever happens tomorrow… we’re proud of you.”
Through a haze of tears, I see the rest of my family nod in agreement. And I’m touched by the gesture and the sentiment. More than I’ll probably be able to express.
But as I stare down at the delicate jewelry, I also have to bite back the protest that I haven’t earned these. Not really.
I may have faced some of the emotions. But not the big ones.
Not the ones that could change everything, if I were only a little bit braver.