Modern Romance Collection February 2025, #1-4

CHAPTER TEN

CHAPTER TEN

‘S ?O P AULO ?’ REPEATED F AYE , like a parrot.

She’d woken up that morning feeling almost fully normal again for the first time in days. But she still felt that lingering sense of frustration she’d felt last night, when after dinner she’d tried to subtly let Primo know that she was feeling a lot better, in almost every regard, especially where her desire was concerned.

Only to have him put his hands on her arms and move her away from him, saying, ‘You still look a little tired.’

She’d lain in bed stewing with a mix of anger and fear that, after seeing her at her worst, he didn’t fancy her any more.

Now they were having breakfast.

‘Yes, S?o Paulo,’ he said. ‘My brother has extended an invitation for us to visit.’

Faye went still and looked at Primo. He was avoiding her eye. ‘Oh, that’s good...isn’t it?’

Primo was brusque. ‘I haven’t seen him in a long time, or met his wife, so I guess it’s a good thing.’

He was nervous. Faye could feel it. Her heart went out to him.

‘It’d be nice to meet them,’ she said.

He looked at her then. ‘It would be good for your recuperation...some sun and relaxation.’

‘I had the flu—not TB,’ Faye pointed out.

Primo regarded her. ‘It was a severe enough bout that you’re not arguing with me about work.’

For once, that hadn’t been uppermost in Faye’s mind. She scowled at Primo, but he just smiled, and in that moment it was more important than anything to Faye that she’d distracted him from his trepidation about seeing his brother.

She was in so much trouble.

They left New York as dawn rose the following morning. Faye had dressed in soft jeans and a short-sleeved cashmere top. Primo was on the other side of the plane, engrossed in paperwork and on the phone to someone called John.

Faye was enjoying being able to watch him. To see how his lips pursed and the way he ran his hand through his hair, mussing it up. He was wearing a shirt and dark trousers. Every inch a successful titan of business. The fact that she knew the man underneath gave her a serious thrill.

Which fizzled a little when she thought of how caring for her through her illness had killed his desire for her. She made a quick calculation and felt a burst of despair. They’d only been married for just over a month and she’d already fallen for him so hard that it made whatever she’d felt for her first husband look like a teenage crush. And the demise of that relationship had all but dictated her entire last decade.

Primo made her want things she hadn’t admitted to herself that she wanted in so long. Safety. Security. Companionship. A lover. A family .

No. She blocked that thought out immediately. That way lay only certain pain, and she would never expose herself to that again.

She would never know the pain of Primo looking at her as if she was an empty useless vessel, because he would never know the full extent of her painful history.

There was a minimum of five months left before Faye could take advantage of the six-month get-out clause and obtain a divorce and move on. But, she reasoned, if her bout of sickness had given Primo the ick where the physical part of the marriage was concerned, then at least if Faye re-established their boundaries, and didn’t agree to any more little impromptu trips like this, they could get back to the business of a convenient marriage.

An hour later Faye couldn’t sleep, in spite of the comfortable bed where she’d retreated to stop herself ogling Primo while he worked. Her mind was going a hundred miles to a minute, mainly castigating herself for falling in love with Primo. For allowing him to open up deeply buried desires and dreams.

She heard a noise and came up on one elbow to see the object of her thoughts in the doorway.

‘Hey...’ Her voice still felt a little scratchy.

‘Hey.’

Faye was still in her clothes, but Primo was looking at her as if he’d never seen her before. His gaze seemed navy in the low lights of the bedroom, and she could see how it dropped over her body, lingering on her breasts, belly, thighs. She could feel it like a physical touch.

‘Why are you looking at me like that?’

Because he didn’t want her any more. Right?

Then he asked, ‘Can I join you?’

Very belatedly, Faye realised that he must be tired—they’d both been up early. She went to scramble off the bed. ‘Of course. Sorry. You take the bed. I can go back out—’

‘Where are you going?’

She was sitting on the side of the bed now, looking at him. ‘To give you some space?’

He shook his head and started to undo his shirt. Faye’s eyes helplessly tracked his fingers as his chest was revealed. Did he think she was going to just stay here and lie next to him?

She stood up—but that only brought her to within an inch of his body.

He put his hands on her arms. ‘Where are you going?’ he asked again.

There was a gleam in his eye that she couldn’t quite fully trust. But she heard herself blurting out, ‘You don’t want me any more.’

Primo’s eyes widened incredulously. ‘Why on earth would you think that?’

She avoided his eyes. ‘I was sick...it wasn’t a pretty sight.’

He caught her chin, made her look at him. ‘Do you have any idea how hard it was not to touch you? Would you want me less if I was sick?’

Joy and relief bubbled up inside her, making her a little giddy. ‘Well, I guess it would depend... I mean, if you had those nasty little—’

He cut off her words with his mouth, but she could feel his smile and her insides somersaulted and swooped. All the lectures she’d given herself about redrawing boundaries faded into the background when faced with the fact that Primo still wanted her.

Things escalated quickly. His shirt was off. He’d pulled her top up and she’d lifted her arms to help him remove it. Jeans and trousers were undone and kicked off.

They tumbled onto the bed and Primo drew back for a moment and looked at her, clad in the lace and satin of her underwear.

She said, ‘I’ve never done it on a plane before.’

Primo arched a brow.

Suddenly Faye felt blindingly jealous. ‘You have.’

Primo palmed a breast, pulling down the lace cup to expose the plump flesh, teasing a nipple between two fingers. Faye’s back arched as she tried to hang on to her indignation.

Primo said, ‘I admit it’s not my first time, no. But if it’s any consolation, I can’t even remember the woman. And, as this is your first time, I’ll be very, very gentle.’

Faye forgave him as he lowered his mouth to hers and drugged her with a very explicit kiss, hands moving over her body, removing the scraps of underwear.

They came together in a deliciously slow, sensual dance, as gentle as Primo had promised. Until, of course, neither one of them wanted gentle any more, and the pace of their movements and the glide of their bodies became more urgent and desperate.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, heels digging into his buttocks as he thrust in and out, taking them higher and higher, until the climax broke over them simultaneously, both too desperate for this pinnacle to eke it out.

Primo buried his head in her shoulder, breathing fast. ‘I’m sorry...wanted to make it last...’

Faye felt a surge of tenderness and smiled dreamily. ‘It was perfect. Amazing.’

Primo lifted his head and looked at her. ‘What do you do to me, woman? I don’t know who I am when I’m with you...’

Faye’s gaze moved around his face, as if she wanted to imprint every feature on her mind for ever. She landed on his mouth and traced the shape with her finger. ‘I know the feeling.’

They fell asleep, Faye tucked into Primo’s body, his arms tight around her, as they chased the sun across the sky.

S?o Paulo

Late that afternoon they were in a car and waiting for the gates to Primo’s brother’s home to open. It was at that precise moment that Faye recalled Primo mentioning that they had a little boy and baby twin girls, about eight months old.

What had she been thinking?

She’d instinctively avoided being around babies and small children ever since her miscarriage and operation. But it was too late now. The gates were opening and they were driving between two verdant walls of lush foliage.

They emerged into a huge open space in front of a modern two-storey house. Lots of windows. Faye could see a green lawn, strewn with kids’ toys. Her insides twisted.

Waiting for them was a tall man who Faye recognised instantly as Primo’s brother, but his colouring was lighter, and he was infinitely more casual in low-slung board shorts and a T-shirt. A pretty woman with long reddish-blonde wavy hair stood beside him. Average height. Wearing short cut-off jeans and a pretty loose summer top. She looked nice.

The car came to a stop and a small blond-haired boy appeared and opened Faye’s door. She didn’t have time to react. He was holding out his hand.

‘Hi, I’m Sol. Are you my Aunt Faye?’

Faye was instantly won over. She shook his hand. ‘Yes, I believe I am. Nice to meet you, Sol.’

The woman appeared behind Sol and grabbed him. ‘I’m so sorry. We told him to wait and not overwhelm you.’

Faye got out and the woman stuck out a hand. ‘I’m Sadie. It’s so nice to meet you.’

‘You too.’ Faye smiled, feeling shy.

Then she looked to see Primo approaching his brother. Both similar heights and builds. They were wary, but then Quin moved and pulled his brother into an embrace. Faye could see that Primo was taken by surprise, but he hugged his brother back.

Quin came and said hi to Faye. She noticed he had brown eyes.

He tucked his wife under his arm and she wrapped an arm around his waist.

‘You guys must be hungry,’ she said. ‘Let’s eat and then we can show you around.’

Faye sat back and observed the brothers and Sadie throughout most of the delicious early evening dinner, served in a vast open plan kitchen/dining space.

Before they’d landed in S?o Paulo, Primo had told her a little about Quin and his wife. That they’d been estranged for a few years but had now reunited. In that time, Quin had had sole care for his son, Primo had told Faye.

‘I’m still not sure exactly why they had to split up, but they’re back together now.’

To Faye’s eye now, it didn’t look as if anything could part Sadie and Quin again. They touched constantly and shared little looks in a way of communicating that could only come from a very intimate union. She hated herself for feeling a twinge of envy.

They had appeared with two sleepy dark-haired babies just before dinner was served. Stella and Luna—twin girls. Faye had felt the habitual pain on seeing them, but pushed it down deep. And then they’d gone to put them to bed with the help of a woman called Madalena, their nanny, who seemed to be almost a member of the family, as close as a grandparent.

‘I can stay up for dinner with guests because I’m five now,’ Sol had declared once Quin and Sadie had returned. They’d brought a baby monitor with them, presumably to keep an ear out for the babies.

Faye had smiled at the precocious young boy. ‘You’re very grown up indeed.’

Sol piped up now. ‘Hey, do you like football, Uncle Primo? It’s my favourite.’

Primo smiled. ‘It’s been a long time since I played, but maybe you can show me?’

‘Cool! Tomorrow?’

‘Of course—if your parents don’t mind.’

Faye couldn’t help noticing that Primo was a little stiff in his exchanges with Sol. Obviously he hadn’t had much to do with children. She could see him being a good father, though. He was kind, and compassionate, and she felt that, if given the chance, he would want to do things differently from his own father.

She felt a pang of pain—because he wouldn’t ever have that chance with her.

To distract herself, she got up to help Sadie clear up, pooh-poohing the woman’s protests. She said to her in the kitchen, ‘You have a beautiful home and family.’

Sadie looked a little dreamy, and then said, ‘Thank you. I don’t take it for granted for one second.’

After Sol had gone to bed, Quin said, ‘I’ll show you to the guest house. It’s nice and private.’

He led them down through the garden, automatic lights coming on to guide their way. They walked through a small copse of trees to find a smaller version of the big house, and a pool nearby.

Quin gestured to it. ‘Feel free to make yourselves at home. There’s a pool hut with swimsuits and towels—whatever you need.’

He showed them into the guest house. Another open-plan, gorgeously decorated space. Understated luxury. A fully stocked kitchen.

‘Thank you so much,’ said Faye. ‘This is truly lovely.’

‘Like I said, make yourselves at home. I’m really glad you’re here.’

He left them, and Faye noticed that all their stuff had already been unpacked and put away.

Primo was looking a little stunned.

Faye went up to him. ‘Are you okay?’

He nodded. ‘It’s just a lot...to take in. He’s younger than me, but I feel like he’s older.’

‘I guess having children will do that to you,’ Faye joked.

Primo looked at her and pulled her close, she went willingly.

He said, ‘Thank you for coming with me.’

‘You’d have been fine on your own.’

‘I think it helps to have people around to defuse the tension between me and Quin.’

Faye shook her head. ‘I don’t think he bears any grudges. And Sadie seems nice. Normal.’

‘She’s good for him.’ Primo looked at the bed then, and said with faux innocence, ‘I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted.’

Faye moved closer, pressing against Primo. ‘Me too.’ She reached up and pressed a kiss to his jaw. ‘Absolutely wrecked.’

He started taking off her clothes, and Faye savoured every single moment leading up to them both being naked.

They made love in their own private tropical forest house, but afterwards, even as her body hummed with a sense of deep satisfaction, Faye couldn’t escape the uneasy sensation that this was where things would come to a head.

There were so many raw emotions flying around, and she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to escape unscathed. It was getting harder and harder to try and hide the depth of her feelings around Primo.

The following day, Primo surveyed the domestic scene before him on the lawn. His nephew, Sol, was shadowing his two crawling twin sisters like a mother hen. Gently manoeuvring them in a safer direction if he thought they were getting too close to danger. Sadie was talking to Faye, and both women were watching the little tableau.

Faye was relaxed here in this domestic situation. Not fazed. Not bored. Not sending him pointed looks as if to say, When are we leaving? He’d noticed that she did seem a little reluctant to get too close to the children, but he put it down to lack of experience, like him. Sol and the babies alternately fascinated and terrified him.

Absurdly, emotion rose. Emotion that he hadn’t felt in years. In for ever. Not since he was a small boy, when he’d pushed it down deep, because he couldn’t be the one to lose it over their mother leaving. Quin had done that for both of them. Primo had had to be strong.

‘I’m sure this is nothing like you’re used to,’ said Quin.

His brother’s dry tone cut into Primo’s reflections. He shook his head, didn’t dare look at his brother just yet, in case he saw something Primo wasn’t quite ready to reveal. But things were sinking into place inside him, whispering of yearnings that he’d only recently allowed himself to think of. A life with Faye—a whole life.

Maybe this was why he’d gravitated towards seeing his brother. Because he’d needed to see this, feel it first-hand. Feel a desire for this. Something he and Quin had never really experienced and yet here he was—in this idyll of...a family. Love. For the first time he was seeing it up close, and he had to admit that for some...it could exist.

Primo said, ‘Family is important, isn’t it?’

Then he clarified, ‘I mean, this .’ He gestured to the scene before them where Sadie had now put the twins in a double buggy in a shaded area and was kicking a ball with Sol. ‘Not what our father drummed into us.’

He looked at Quin, who was watching him carefully.

Quin said, ‘It’s everything. The only thing that matters.’

Primo blurted out, ‘I’m sorry.’

Quin frowned. ‘For what?’

‘For not checking that you were okay after...everything.’

‘After discovering our father wasn’t my father?’

Primo nodded. ‘And earlier...when we were younger. I should have taken more care over you. You’re my baby brother.’

Quin smiled and shook his head. ‘I was just thankful that I wasn’t you . You took the pressure off me to be something I had no desire to be.’

Primo glanced at his nephew and his sister-in-law and said, ‘Still, I’m sorry that we didn’t have more of this... More time to be brothers without cares.’

‘There’s still time.’

Primo looked at Quin and felt the emotion rise again, swelling his chest. ‘Thank you,’ he said, his voice slightly rough.

‘Hey, Uncle Primo! Come and play with us!’

Primo welcomed the distraction and went to join Sadie and his nephew.

The baby—one of the babies—was crying. Faye looked around helplessly, but everyone had disappeared. Quin had gone inside. Primo and Sadie and Sol were hunting for the ball that Primo had kicked into the copse of trees. And one of the babies was now wailing pitifully.

Faye got up and went over and peeked under the muslin net. A pair of dark eyes looked up at her. Beautiful eyes. Ringed with long lashes. A rosebud mouth. She’d stopped crying momentarily, but now her little face scrunched up again and the mouth opened.

Faye whispered, ‘Oh, no, please don’t. You’ll wake your sister and I don’t know what to do.’

But now she was wailing again and so, acting on an instinct too strong to ignore, Faye reached in and carefully extracted the baby. She was heavier than she’d expected, and she looked at Faye for a moment with tear-laden lashes before reaching out her pudgy arms.

Faye put her over her shoulder and awkwardly patted her back. She seemed to like that. She stopped crying. Faye walked up and down, jiggling her a little on her shoulder.

‘You’re a natural.’

Faye turned around to see Sadie. She was vaguely aware that Primo and Sol were playing football again. ‘Oh, no, I’m not. Really, I’m not. I’ve hardly ever held a baby.’

Faye felt sure Sadie would rush to take her baby back, but the woman seemed utterly unconcerned.

She checked on the other twin and chuckled. ‘Stella is the lazy one—she’ll sleep through a tornado. Luna wants to know what’s going on. She obviously wanted to meet you.’

Faye smiled, but it felt shaky. Holding this warm, trusting baby was bittersweet. Her head was nestled into Faye’s neck. She could feel her breath against her skin.

Sadie asked, ‘Are you and Primo...? Do you plan on having a family?’ And then she put a hand over her face and said. ‘Please—forgive me. You don’t have to answer that. It’s such an intrusive question and you’re only just married.’

But Faye shook her head. With this baby in her arms, and Sadie’s easy manner, she heard herself admitting, ‘I’ve told Primo that I won’t have children...but it’s not that I won’t... I can’t .’

Sadie’s hand went to her mouth. Her eyes filled with compassion. ‘Oh, Faye, I’m so sorry. I had no idea...’

Much to Faye’s horror, she could feel her eyes prickling. As if sensing Faye’s unravelling, Sadie reached for the baby and deftly re-installed the now sleeping infant back into the pram.

She discreetly led Faye away from the garden. ‘Are you okay?’

Faye nodded. ‘I’m so sorry... It’s just...’

It all tumbled out—how their marriage was really only a marriage of convenience, but that Primo did want a family at some point, and Faye had no intention of telling him that could never happen so she was going to leave when the six months was up.

‘I’m so sorry, Faye... You’re in love with him, aren’t you?’

Faye nodded. ‘Pathetic, isn’t it?’

‘Not really,’ Sadie commiserated. ‘I suffer from the same affliction.’

‘But Quin adores you.’

Sadie made a face. ‘It wasn’t straightforward for us... But that story would require at least a bottle of wine.’

‘Mama! Luna is awake again.’

They heard the sound of Luna crying and Sadie rolled her eyes. ‘I’m sorry, it’s actually time for a feed—that’s why she’s restless.’

‘Go,’ said Faye, pushing her emotions down. ‘I’m sorry you had to hear all that.’

Sadie squeezed her hand. ‘We’re sisters now, no matter what happens. Okay?’

Faye nodded, feeling absurdly emotional again.

When she felt she was composed enough, she moved back around to the patio—and stopped dead in her tracks. Primo was holding one of the twins in his arms and Quin was showing him how to feed her with a bottle.

There was an awestruck look on Primo’s face that Faye had never seen before. And never would see again. Because now she knew that she couldn’t continue this charade. Coming here had broken something inside her, and she hadn’t even thought she’d had anything left to break.

Faye felt a spreading sense of hollow loneliness.

Damn Primo Holt .

She wished in that moment that she’d never laid eyes on him.