CHAPTER SEVEN
SUNNYWATCHEDRAJ haul off his shirt, revealing his magnificent, bronzed torso, not to mention all the pure, defined lines of his pecs and abs. He was in superb physical condition and she knew that one of these days there would be a sketch pad in her hand and she would be drawing him in charcoal, shading in the angles and the hollows of his lean, athletic body. He was beautiful, from his sharp as diamond cheekbones to his deep-set dark golden eyes and the sensually alluring curve of his lips...and he wanted her, her, she reflected in sheer wonderment.
Nobody had ever wanted her enough to make sacrifices for her...except, perhaps, her mother, she conceded ruefully. Refusing to terminate her pregnancy, Sunny’s mother had protected the child that her husband didn’t want, the child that Sunny’s father had feared might cost money that he saw as more properly belonging to her half-sister Christabel’s needs. But that sacrifice had pretty much cost her mother her marriage, although her mother had been clear that that marriage had been on the rocks by then owing to her father’s complete absorption in Christabel and his management of her career.
And then there had been Jack, who had turned his back on the love he’d said he had for her to find a fertile woman who could give him the children he craved. Fortunately for his wife, she had had no problems falling pregnant, but how would he have reacted if conception had not been that easy? Raj, on the other hand, hadn’t seen her as being less of a woman because she had believed that she was infertile, but then he had never hoped to have children with her anyway. Only, how would he feel now when she finally confessed the truth? In despair, she banished that hovering black cloud of fear and dissension from her mind to concentrate on the present.
Shedding his trousers, Raj came down on the bed beside her and flipped her over to run down the zip on her dress before proceeding to extract her from it with single-minded intent. As she tumbled back against the pillows, he smoothed her rumpled hair and studied her with satisfaction. The smooth slopes of her firm breasts were cradled in blue silk and lace.
‘It’s almost a crime to take this off you,’ he husked, reaching under her for the clasp to detach the bra. ‘You have to know that you look amazing...all that smooth glowing skin.’
‘I must’ve got the sun in Italy.’
‘How? You were clothed from head to foot,’ he scoffed.
And she smiled secretively, wondering if there was truth in that old chestnut about a pregnancy glow. The bra was trailed off and she succumbed to her shyness, wrenching back the smooth sheet to scramble below its cover.
‘You’re no fun,’ Raj complained, amused by her bashfulness, cupping her cheek in one large hand to ravish her mouth hungrily with his while he tossed the sheet back, and then long fingers strolled across her hip down to the silk-clad triangle covering her mons.
Sunny quivered as he skated a fingertip over the most sensitive spot of all and pervasive heat began to rise between her legs. He traced an achingly tender nipple with the edge of his teeth and she shuddered, suddenly on fire for him, arms reaching up to pull him closer.
‘I like it when you lose control of that prim nature,’ he growled.
‘I’m not prim.’
‘It’s not a bad thing, not a criticism. I’m more accustomed to the opposite trait and I’m not a fan of that either. I only need you to be yourself with me.’
‘I don’t know how to be anything else.’
While she was gazing up into his stunning eyes, he tugged up her knees and disposed of her last garment before shimmying down the bed with lithe grace and sliding between her thighs.
He traced her seam with the tip of his tongue and then moved on with fervour to explore all that lay between. She gasped and arched and he held her down, his hands firm on her hips while he subjected her to the most merciless onslaught of pleasure she had ever experienced. And then the pace slowed as he circled her clitoris and even before he slid a finger into the molten depths of her she was moaning and crying out as a climax took her by storm, shaking her body with waves of drowning bliss.
‘You’re really quick at that,’ Raj remarked with unwelcome amusement.
‘You’re too good at it.’
‘I’ve only done that with you...at least since I was seduced and taught the basics by an older woman when I was fourteen.’
She frowned. ‘That was too young.’
‘I was too young for most of the things I was surrounded by at university. It was inevitable that some young woman would wonder what the kid nerd would be like in bed, and I was curious enough to accept the invitation,’ he admitted.
‘Wrong, all the same.’
‘I was a lonely kid. Any kind of interaction with another student meant something to me.’
‘I hate the idea of that.’ Sunny explored his parted lips with her own, slowly, delicately, until Raj took over, delving deep, twining his tongue with hers over and over until hunger began to engulf her again.
Strong and sure, he came down on her, lifting her legs, pushing against her where she was most tender. He entered her with a raw groan of pleasure, stretching her tight walls, seating himself deep, and then he began to move. Her heart hammering, she arched up to him, struggling to contain the raw excitement sending flames of feverish impatience hurtling through her. He settled into a rhythm, shifted, changed his angle, drove her a little insane while the pressure mounted and tightened inside her. And then, in the midst of that heated desperate climb to satisfaction, he turned her over, pulled her up on her knees and pounded back into her with relentless energy. Just as suddenly she reached that peak and he pushed her over it. She stifled a scream in the padded headboard, her heart racing so fast that she was convinced she would stop breathing there and then. With a deep groan of fulfilment, he pulled back from her.
‘OK?’ Raj tugged her back down into the bed, spread her limp body out and tugged the sheet over her. ‘I’ll want you again soon but you’re tired. Nap for a while.’
Tired? She felt as though her entire body had been wired and then somebody had yanked out all the wires that made her limbs work. She was a boneless, weightless doll but her conscience was heavier than lead at the same time. She would tell him about the baby in the morning.
‘What are you thinking about?’ she asked him abstractedly.
His brow furrowed. ‘The fireworks were naff. I would have preferred to use synchronised drones but I would’ve needed a lot of them and getting permission in an urban area like this would have been a major headache...’
Ask a man, get an answer, she thought ruefully. ‘I loved the fireworks.’
‘I’ll run a bath for you,’ Raj announced with sudden energy, vaulting out of the bed and striding through one of the doors.
Gushing water sounded and then she heard him using his phone, talking fast in fluent French. A little while later someone rang a bell. Raj strode through the bedroom, a towel wrapped round his lean waist, and strode back again, a giant box in his arms. ‘The bath’s almost ready,’ he told her, waking her up on the very edge of sleep.
A little while later, Raj scooped her out of the bed and carried her into the bathroom. Giant gilded impressive candelabra filled with candles flamed all around a sunken bath with a steaming surface covered with rose petals and flowers. It was as magnificent as a film stage set and it took her breath away. He set her down and guided her down the steps into the bath.
‘Do you really like this sort of nonsense?’ he enquired critically half under his breath.
‘Oh...yes,’ she admitted, sinking happily into the warm water.
‘Sorry it took so long. They had to get me candles and holders and all that jazz,’ he complained.
‘It was truly worth it. Thank you,’ she whispered weakly, shaken by the effort he had made on her behalf.
Raj smiled and her heart squeezed inside her tight chest. She was falling in love with him and she knew she couldn’t control her emotions around him. He was everything she had ever dreamt of but nothing that she had ever expected to find. In action he had a sort of hurricane effect, all bristling energy and determination, but underneath the seething impatience and exasperation with the world’s difficulties was an absolutely wonderful guy.
‘You’re amazing,’ she said softly as he walked back out of the bathroom.
Raj stopped dead and wheeled round to look back at her with hard dark eyes. ‘I don’t do soppy, Sunny. I don’t have those feelings to give. I’ve never felt them for anyone.’
Well, that was telling her, but taking that onboard after the evening they had shared was still a challenge. The glorious fireworks, the intimacy, the fabulous bath? Nothing special in his estimation, it seemed. And didn’t that fact just give her an even more huge gulf to cross with him in the morning when she finally told him that she had conceived?
Sunny blew out the candles one by one, made use of the towelling robe on offer and moved back into the bedroom. Raj was seated by the television watching the business news in front of a trolley of food.
‘You’re eating again?’ she teased, having decided to ignore that crack that he didn’t do soppy. Not a denial worth taking seriously, she thought, not when she’d had the flowery fireworks and the equally flowery candlelit bath.
‘Being with you makes me hungry.’ He sprang upright and simply reached for her in the same motion, lifting her up into his arms and settling down again with her as if such behaviour were perfectly normal.
‘Is that an achievement?’ she whispered helplessly.
‘It hasn’t happened before.’ Yanking over the trolley with one relaxed foot, Raj reached for a plate and passed it to her, offering her selections, pushing his own favourite snacks. ‘You’re a healthy eater.’
‘And you’re surprised?’
‘Nothing about you surprises me.’
Oh, just you wait until tomorrow, she reflected unhappily, thinking of the baby on board without his awareness and that seemed wrong to her, that she still hadn’t told him, that she was holding off on that ground-breaking news for the right moment. And in truth there was no right moment for that kind of news. Her surprise was likely to stretch far beyond anything he had envisaged and breach his trust and relaxation in her company. Once he knew, everything would change in his attitude and that was why she was staying silent, she acknowledged ruefully. She would happily live in their little cocoon of togetherness for a few hours more before she let reality in to burst the bubble.
He laid a gift-wrapped parcel onto her lap when she had finished snacking. ‘I picked it up in Geneva. It struck me as the sort of thing that you’d like.’
‘You shouldn’t keep buying me stuff...’ she muttered uncomfortably, removing the wrapping paper with care to expose a leather folder. Opening it up, she discovered that it was a travelling sketchbook, one side holding the paper, the other the pencils. ‘But this is perfect and so compact too. I’ll be able to take it out and about with me. Thanks, but no more gifts, please.’
She fell asleep, only rousing when he slotted her into the cool bed, unwrapping her from the robe, ignoring her drowsy protests.
‘You’re a very restful woman to be with,’ he told her.
‘Because I keep on falling asleep?’
‘No, because you don’t feel the need to fill every silence with idle chatter.’
With a sleepy chuckle she burrowed into her pillows, luxuriating in the heat of him at her back. He wasn’t holding her, certainly wasn’t spooning her, but he was close and that was enough.
A light trail of kisses down her sensitive spine brought her to wakefulness. ‘Hmm...’ she framed. ‘What time is it?’
‘Dawn, best time of the day.’
‘I’ll take your word for it,’ she mumbled, smothering a yawn.
His mouth explored the smooth slope of her shoulder and she squirmed back into the hard heat of his aroused physique. ‘Oh...I should shower first.’
‘No. You smell of me. I love that,’ he growled, closing her into his arms, his big hands glancing across her sensitive nipples and unerringly tracing a fiery path to the damp heat at her core. ‘I want you.’
Sunny parted her thighs in silent consent for him to continue and a roughened laugh coursed through his chest. He lifted her leg and sank into her with delicious strength and a soundless sigh escaped her parted lips. He went slow and deep and the excitement climbed through her pliant body in surge after surge until her heart was hammering and little moans were wrenched from her throat. It happened for both of them simultaneously. He slammed into her receptive channel one last time and her body shattered like glass into a writhing orgasm as he reached completion with her.
‘Shower or bath?’
‘Shower...but you keep your mittens off me,’ she warned, suddenly recalling what still lay ahead of her and yet unable to regret a moment of the time they had spent together, lost in intimacy. At least she would have some memories to revisit after she had depth-charged their togetherness out of existence with the announcement she was about to make.
‘No choice but to do so if we want to make it back early for Pansy,’ he reminded her.
Reality felt as though it had a tight grip round her throat. She slid straight out of bed, grabbed up the robe, pushed her arms into the sleeves and reached the bathroom in record time. Within minutes she was showering, shampooing her hair, working out exactly what she would say to him over breakfast. She tugged on her jeans, wincing at the struggle she had to get the zip up. She completed the outfit with a multicoloured filmy loose blouse and stuck her feet into ballet flats.
Rain was pattering softly down on the balcony when she emerged and saw a table laid for breakfast in the main reception area. She breathed in deep and slow. As soon as they were alone, she murmured quietly, ‘I have something important to tell you but I want to ask you to let me do the talking. Please don’t rush into judgement. This isn’t a scam or a con or anything that really requires your concern. Please don’t interrupt me and please contain your reactions and allow yourself time to think in private about what I tell you. First and foremost, we have Pansy to consider and we need a good working relationship to achieve that. Angry words or accusations won’t be soon forgotten, so that’s why I’m asking you to take a deep breath and say nothing for now.’
His ebony brows had pleated. His lean strong face was taut. Her senses buzzed because he looked so achingly handsome. Her colour rose.
‘Obviously, I’m intrigued,’ he said.
‘You won’t be by the time I’m finished,’ Sunny forecast heavily. ‘When I was twelve years old I suffered a burst appendix and I almost died. Five years later, when I was seventeen, my mother informed me that I would never have children because of the damage done to my reproductive organs. At least, that is presumably what the doctor told her back then. I was shocked. So much that I had taken for granted was taken from me that night, and the next day, when I shared that news with my boyfriend, Jack, he dumped me. He had said he loved me but he wanted children and if I couldn’t give him what he wanted, he didn’t want me either.’
‘Short-sighted.’ Raj hadn’t been joking when he’d said that he was intrigued. His first thought, which had sent his blood pressure rocketing, was that another man had come into her life. But he found that hard to believe. There was no reluctance in Sunny when she was with him, no sense that her loyalties were divided except when it came to their niece. And that he found perfectly acceptable. A con? A scam? What nonsense was she referring to? And why on earth was she choosing to begin with a detailed rendering of her infertility when he was already aware of her condition?
‘Six weeks ago, we were together on your yacht and we were intimate without precautions. You thought it was safe. I also thought it was safe but when I went to the doctor a couple of weeks ago and had tests because I was feeling under par, I learned that I was pregnant.’ Sunny rose from her chair and walked across the room. ‘I was transfixed. I couldn’t believe it. I argued, pointed out that it was impossible. He looked at my notes and told me that after the damage caused by my burst appendix, I had been lucky enough to have repairs carried out by a skilled surgeon...and clearly, I had healed. According to him, I should never have been told that I was infertile and that, at worst, I should only have been warned that I might have difficulty conceiving.’
‘Sunny,’ Raj began tautly, stormy dark eyes locked to her like an impending tidal wave.
‘No...no, say nothing,’ Sunny reminded him, actually shaking an admonitory finger at him, her voice a little shaky. ‘For now, the floor is mine. Last night, you tore the ground out from under my feet. I wasn’t expecting all this!’ She stretched her arms wide to encompass their surroundings, the fireworks and the candlelit bath she would never forget. ‘I was going to tell you last night. I wasn’t expecting you to tell me that you had parted with the other women in your life. I assumed that, as far as you were concerned, I would be returning to simply being Pansy’s aunt again. So, forgive me for not coming clean with you last night. I couldn’t face it.
‘Now...’ Sunny spun back to him, golden hair flying round her flushed features ‘...let me get the factual stuff out of the way. I’m planning to have this baby and I’m very happy about it, just a little sorry that it’s happened the way it has because that’s unfortunate for you. You didn’t get a choice but then I didn’t either. We were both genuinely misled. I’m not considering a termination or adoption or any other option. I’m a strong, independent woman with decent earning power. I don’t need anything from you. I don’t want anything from you.’
‘Sunny,’ Raj gritted in interruption as he lost patience.
Violet eyes struck his in a heady collision. ‘Keep quiet,’ she warned him. ‘I’m telling you everything you need to know and you should listen. This child need not change your life in any way. You won’t need to acknowledge him or her or even see the child. This is my child, nothing whatsoever to do with you. I will never tell anyone who fathered my child. If pressured, I will say I had a regrettable one-night stand with a stranger.’
‘Regrettable?’Raj growled with incredulous bite.
‘Oh, don’t take it personally. That’s what I would say for the sake of a story that nobody would wish to question further. I don’t regret that night, I couldn’t...’ Sunny’s tense face suddenly lit up with a guilty smile and there was apology in her eyes as she looked at him. ‘It was a wonderful night and it also gave me my heart’s secret desire, so I’m never likely to complain about that.’
Raj gritted his teeth again. He saw the prospect of another deal looming in front of him. He would have to negotiate and compromise, and compromising had never come naturally to him. He liked to win. He hated losing. But then this was Sunny, hog-tying him into a remarkably sensible silence to ensure that he said nothing rude or unforgivable. A...baby. Her heart’s desire, his biggest fear. The challenge of being a parent when he had never had a parent to respect. Not his hateful father, not the weak mother he had despised but supported out of loyalty and pity. A baby with Sunny, on the way and welcomed by her, at least.
He vaulted upright, relieved from the restraint of remaining silent. ‘I don’t see why this development should change anything between us,’ he spelt out tautly.
Sunny moved forward, looking at him in apparent astonishment. ‘But—’
‘No, you’ve had the floor. Now it’s my turn,’ Raj pronounced gruffly as he locked his hands to her arms and pulled her unexpectedly close. ‘There’s nothing more to say on that topic for now. But I do need to ask you about hosting an event with me in ten days’ time at my London base.’
‘An...event?’ Sunny whispered, struggling not to sound as though she was struggling with disbelief that he could simply move on and immediately leave her earth-shattering pregnancy announcement behind him.
‘It’s a fund-raising event for my charitable foundation. However, most of the events I throw are business related. I would appreciate your presence by my side for this one. We’re a partnership now and it should be public,’ he continued smoothly. ‘I’ll also organise a maternity wardrobe for you. It’s a business expense, don’t worry about it.’
Her lower lip parted from her upper in sheer awe at his detachment. He hadn’t reacted at all. He had stayed silent just as she had asked and how could she complain about that? Evidently her reassurances that she required no further input from him on the issue of her pregnancy had worked a treat. So, why was she now being ridiculously perverse and wanting to know what his true feelings were? After all, hadn’t she barred him from expressing those feelings?
‘You haven’t eaten much for breakfast.’
‘I wasn’t very hungry,’ she confided. ‘Nerves got the better of me.’
‘Am I that intimidating?’ Raj asked softly.
Sunny reddened uncomfortably. ‘No, of course not, but I had worked myself up into a real tizz over things.’
‘No need. I’m steady as a rock in a crisis. Lived through too many of them to be anything else,’ he fielded lightly, easing her even closer while she was wondering if that word ‘crisis’ was a hint as to his hidden reactions to the news that he was going to become a father.
Raj shifted his hips against her and she stilled, feeling in shock the hard thrust of his arousal even through their clothes. Maybe a crisis turned him on, she thought limply.
‘So, if you’re not planning to eat anything more, I wondered if...?’
‘You’re a very demanding guy,’ she muttered unevenly.
‘And you can be a very demanding woman,’ he told her before he dropped his head and kissed her breathless with a ravishing hunger that blew her away.
‘Have we...er...got time?’ she almost whispered, shame and self-consciousness holding her still and uncertain.
He hoisted her up against him and carried her back into the bedroom and began calmly divesting her of her clothes. ‘Jeans are too hard to get you out of,’ he complained.
‘Won’t wear them again,’ she mumbled, still stunned by the developments taking place. ‘I prefer skirts and these are too tight now.’
‘Shush,’ Raj hushed her with the heat and passion of his mouth on hers again and excitement raced through her like a rejuvenating drug. She sat up on the bed and began to wrench at his Brioni suit with unappreciative hands. ‘You want me?’
‘So much,’ she said with a helpless shiver.
‘I want you the same way,’ Raj drawled without hesitation. ‘I won’t let this development come between us.’
And, half dressed, he pinned her to the bed and took her with raw passion and her climax was breathtaking. All the relief she was experiencing, all the fear she had buried drove her higher and higher and she was splintering into a million pieces when Raj finally pulled away and muttered that it was time to get to the airfield.
‘Er...this maternity wardrobe,’ she framed uneasily. ‘I don’t intend to be your newest mistress.’
‘If you stand by my side, you should be wearing clothes that ensure that nobody can try to diminish your status in my life,’ Raj declared squarely. ‘And although it’s superficial, people do judge by appearances and I will not allow you to put yourself in a lowly position.’
‘So, the clothes will be more for your benefit than mine.’
‘You’ve got it. And by the way,’ Raj continued levelly, ‘I don’t often appear with a woman in public, unless she’s an employee, and you will also be acting as my hostess, so why would anyone assume that you are merely a mistress?’
Sunny groaned. ‘This sounds like an awful lot to take on...will it be worth the hassle?’
Raj froze and spun back to her as she tried to zip up her jeans again and conceal the fact that it was a struggle for her to do so. ‘Am I worth it?’ he shot back at her. ‘You are worth it to me.’
And Sunny nodded in agreement, dazed by him, her body still singing with pleasure and a steadily mounting sense of peace. He hadn’t made a four-act tragedy out of her unexpected pregnancy. He hadn’t doubted that the baby was his...at least, she didn’t think so. He was taking her fertility in his stride because that was Raj, who would storm on past while other people were still trying to work out what was coming next. She decided that that was a surprisingly soothing response.
They were back at Ashton Hall by mid-morning and Pansy ran across the hall to welcome her back. Scooped up into Sunny’s arms, she accepted a hug and reached out a hand to Raj in greeting, grabbing at his sleeve. In response he lifted the little girl from Sunny and swung her high. The hall rang with her delighted chuckles. He suggested taking his niece down to the home farm on the Ashton estate and Sunny was impressed. He had listened when she’d told him how much Pansy enjoyed seeing animals and had already organised a suitable outing.
When they got back to the house, a fashion buyer, organised by Raj, was waiting to see her to take her measurements and consult her preferences in colour and style. The speed with which everything happened on Raj’s orders left her breathless. She acquiesced, told herself that she had to adapt to a certain extent, had to at least try and fit in. Just look at how fast he had appeared to adapt to the prospect of a baby! If he could make the effort, so could she, she reasoned.
But had Raj adapted? Or was he simply ignoring what he had referred to as ‘a development’? There was nothing personal about that attitude. It seemed as though he would accept the baby because he wanted her and she had made it clear that she expected nothing more from him. Who could tell what the future would bring? He was granting her the independence she had requested and how could she complain about that? Everything that happened would be her choice and surely that was reassuring?
That evening they dined in the grand dining room, just the two of them. As they went upstairs, Raj caught her hand in his as she would have veered left to her bedroom. ‘I had the staff move your stuff while we ate,’ he imparted. ‘You sleep with me now.’
Sunny swallowed hard. ‘And that’s it? We don’t even discuss it?’ she exclaimed.
‘What is there to discuss? We’re together and we have no reason to hide the fact,’ he pointed out, sounding perfectly logical.
Sunny breathed in slow and deep. ‘I’m starting to feel a little taken over, like my life’s not mine any more,’ she admitted unevenly.
Raj shot her a hard appraisal. ‘You’re as free as you’ve always been. All the choices are yours to make.’
‘It’s just all happening so fast. I suppose I don’t like change,’ she muttered uncertainly as he released her hand in the manner of a male who had forgotten he was holding it and now regretted ever touching it in the first place.
She could see him mentally stepping back from her and she hated it. She decided it wasn’t the moment to take a stance, particularly not when all her belongings had been removed from the room she had been using. ‘Never mind. I’m just having a bit of a wobble. I’ll get over it,’ she insisted, moving on by his side.
‘No,’ Raj said quietly. ‘I think you still have to decide whether or not you want to be with me and embrace all the baggage that comes with me.’
‘Right.’ Sunny hovered and then followed him. ‘I don’t like it when you read me that accurately.’
Raj thrust open the door on a massive well-appointed bedroom. ‘I’ve got some work to catch up on,’ he said casually. ‘I’ll see you later.’
And he just left her there, marooned in the centre of the huge room. She wandered into the bathroom and found nothing that belonged to her, eventually discovering a second bathroom that contained her toiletries. The few clothes she had brought were stowed in a separate dressing room. Everything was separate, she realised. He liked his own space too. After a few minutes of uncertainty, she got undressed and finally climbed into the comfortable bed.
Raj was annoyed with her. She knew that. He made decisions lightning fast and expected her to react just as quickly. But that wasn’t her nature. He had decided that he wanted her and had met her unwitting demands by getting rid of the other women in his life. But she hadn’t known that he would be willing to do that, hadn’t ever stopped to think what it would mean to be with him in a relationship because that had not seemed to be a possibility a few weeks earlier.
So, obviously, having gone to such lengths, Raj expected her to fully accept what she had got herself into and not dilly-dally on the edges of his life fussing about every new step he put in front of her. She was supposed to fall into place automatically. And did she want to do that? Did she want Raj enough to stride boldly into the unknown? Was she just a coward? Or was she trying to protect herself? After all, nobody got to control the future.
And she was already halfway to being in love with him, even if he didn’t do ‘soppy’. Bailing out at this stage would be foolish, especially when she would be forced to keep on seeing him, particularly when she carried his baby.
She lay alone in the bed for a long time and when he finally came to bed he was quiet and he didn’t come close to her at all. She had screwed up. Maybe he had expected her to be pleased and flattered when he moved her into his bedroom. After all, it was quite a statement and it was very Raj, who would refuse to sneak around in his own house when he had nothing to hide. But that statement he had made had, ironically, divided them.
‘I’ve decided that I’m all in,’ Sunny admitted as he watched her and Pansy getting in the car to leave the next morning.
His rare smile lit up his lean, darkly handsome face. ‘You won’t regret it,’ he swore.