Modern Romance Collection July 2024 Books 1-4

CHAPTER TEN

SUNNYFOLDEDHERARMS. ‘So, according to you, I’m leaving here with you.’

Raj shrugged a broad shoulder. ‘You haven’t given me an answer yet to my proposal.’

Sunny was thinking about being married to Raj. The prospect made her feel quite dizzy when what she really needed to do was to keep her feet on the ground and her brain at full functioning capacity. ‘There would have to be negotiation.’

‘Of course. Conditions?’

‘You would have to travel less and choose one property as a family base for the sake of the children.’

‘Children,’Raj stressed. ‘Not a feature of life I ever expected to experience. And then you came along.’

‘Yes, I came along and being with me will entail certain adjustments in your lifestyle. Children need a home and stability,’ Sunny declared. ‘You can’t continue to flit from one property to another because children need to attend schools and enjoy recreational activities. Not only do they need a routine to thrive, they also need to socialise with other children. None of that can be achieved with a father who expects them to travel with him and who flies somewhere virtually every day.’

‘Not every day,’ Raj qualified with a frown. ‘We’ll use my London base as a home but there will be times when travel is unavoidable.’

Sunny gazed back at him. The prospect of a father for Pansy and her unborn child was a huge draw but the prospect of simply having constant access to the man she loved was the more powerful attraction.

‘I appreciate that this is not romantic in the least,’ Raj conceded wryly as he tugged her up against him with a gruff sound deep in his chest that reverberated through her slighter, smaller frame like a wake-up call of sensual response. He pushed her hair back from her face and claimed her soft lips with hungry, driving intensity and she shivered against him, insanely conscious of the long hard thrust of his erection and the dampness between her legs.

‘That doesn’t matter,’ she muttered. ‘You can’t do romantic if you can’t do love.’

‘And I’m definitely not likely to be doing that,’ Raj drawled impatiently.

‘I just want you,’ she said truthfully. ‘And I want to be happy. How is this massive change in our lives going to work?’

‘The good news is...you just leave it all to me. Pack what you need for twenty-four hours and everything else will be transported to you tomorrow,’ Raj told her. ‘Muffy can go to Ashton Hall and the dogs and the cat, of course, can be with us by this evening.’

Breathless at those ideas, Sunny whispered apologetically, ‘And there’s ducks down by the pond in the bottom corner of the paddock.’

Raj breathed in deep. ‘Not a problem,’ he declared. ‘Now go and pack while I make the arrangements.’

Sunny hovered in the doorway. ‘Where will we get married?’

‘Ashton. It’s licensed for ceremonies.’

‘Could the vicar at my church do the honours? And I’ve friends and neighbours here who I’d like to invite,’ she said quietly.

‘Of course.’

Sunny stayed in the doorway. ‘You shouldn’t have blamed Jack for the way he treated me. He was only seventeen at the time, as was I.’

‘He made you feel defective,’ Raj contradicted. ‘He wanted perfect and you don’t get perfect in this life. He was cruel and he had years in which to think better of his treatment of you and offer his regrets. But he never did, did he?’

Her eyes dropped from his as she reflected on how much it would have meant to her had Jack thought better of his comments at the time. ‘No, you’re right, he didn’t.’

‘Rest assured that I will never ever expect perfect, but I will not allow those who hurt you to go unpunished,’ he extended grimly. ‘You’re too soft, too forgiving, but that balances out my more cynical, harsh nature.’

‘I’ll go and pack. What about this house?’

‘You’ve got plenty of time to decide what you want to do with it. Relax.’

‘I need to organise the delivery of that painting,’ she muttered distractedly. ‘And no, you don’t need to take charge of that too!’

‘It might be easier if you put your specs on,’ Raj suggested, filching the pair he had noticed abandoned beside the sink and extending them to her.

‘I don’t know how I ever managed without you,’ Sunny framed abstractedly.

‘There’s a streak of paint above your left eyebrow,’ Raj added helpfully. ‘And you were going to pack.’

Several hours later, Sunny and Pansy landed with Raj at his London home. There had been some frantic packing. Deprived of Sunny’s full attention, Pansy had thrown her first tantrum. There had been a whole lot of wailing and sobbing. Neither food nor attention had consoled her and eventually she had fallen asleep nestled close to Bear, who had been very troubled by her distress. Raj had carried his niece onto the helicopter with all the delicacy of a cat burglar, terrified of her waking up again mid-air. But, exhausted by her shenanigans, the little girl had slept and wakened to Maria’s familiar face and a nursery full of toys.

Sunny, however, was greeted in the ballroom by a stylist and a wedding planner. An endless parade of models on a hastily set-up catwalk displayed wedding dresses for her examination. And she fell in love on the spot with the one that had delicate flowers embroidered all over it, of course she did. It was sleeveless and it had a detachable train, a lowish laced back and a modest tailored corset bodice that would give her all the support she required.

Careful measurements were taken. A second dress was suggested for the reception. Sunny chose a sleek elegant gown with cap sleeves and a flattering neckline that she planned to wear with comfortable ballet slippers. She spoke to the stylist about a toning wedding outfit for Pansy and then the stylist moved on to footwear. While Sunny was deliberating on the temptation of pearlised very high-heeled shoes and more traditional diamanté-encrusted sandals, Raj joined them.

‘The doctor will be here in an hour.’

‘What doctor?’ she asked, wandering away from the fashion crew around her for some privacy.

‘The obstetrician I arranged to call here this evening to see us. He’ll give you your first ultrasound as I won’t be in the UK next week for the one you mentioned.’

Sunny stared at him in a daze. ‘That’s a lot to unpack.’

‘I’m trying to be helpful.’ Raj had the nerve to look reproachful. ‘I didn’t want to miss out on the ultrasound and I want you to be checked over just to be sure everything’s in order.’

‘Where are you flying away to?’ In spite of her attempt to make that a normal question she could hear the slight accusing note in her own voice.

‘New York...and possibly, er, a little stopover in Iceland. I’ll be away ten days but back in time for the wedding. I’ve put staff at your disposal and everyone knows you’re in charge here,’ Raj informed her with satisfaction. ‘I have to clear the decks to get some time off to spend with you after the wedding.’

Sunny nodded, not wishing to be a nag. ‘When do you leave?’

‘In a couple of hours...late flight.’

She gritted her teeth. ‘Yet you took me away from home.’

‘By tomorrow, all your belongings will be here and you can go on just as you would at your former home.’ Closing one hand over hers, he urged her back out into the hall, where they were free of an audience. ‘This is for you...’

Lifting her hand, he threaded a diamond ring onto her wedding finger. It had the same blue depth as the stone in the pendant and it was equally magnificent. ‘It’s gorgeous,’ she conceded. ‘But I wanted to be with you tonight.’

Raj frowned. ‘I thought being free after the wedding was more important. I’m not used to consulting anyone about my decisions. I accept that that will have to change to some extent.’

With determination, Sunny laced her beringed hand with his long clenching fingers. ‘It’s not a problem. But I’ll miss you.’

And he grabbed her up into a passionate kiss that sent the blood drumming like mad through her veins. ‘I will miss you too.’

Sunny drifted back into the ballroom to rejoin the fashion crew and make selections. Her lips were tingling from the urgency of his and her breasts were tight and her breathing uneven. She had been looking forward to a wickedly rapturous reunion and then he’d told her that he was leaving her for ten days. And that was Raj, along with the unexpected gift of a superb engagement ring and a medical check-up. Suddenly she was laughing at the sheer unexpectedness of his energetic, driven temperament, the speed with which he operated, the many levels on which he thought and planned in advance. Naturally, with all that complexity and no habit of discussing plans with others, he was bound to trip up occasionally.

There was a lot more wedding planning to be done, from the colour of the tableware to the cake to the music—already organised, she was told—and the number of guests. Hundreds, she was informed, and that was even before she added her own list of people to the invitations. For the first time, it occurred to her that she was going to be the bride in a massive showpiece of a wedding. A pregnant bride. But people didn’t really worry about that these days, she reminded herself, although undoubtedly there would be some who would suspect that Raj was marrying her only because of the baby.

Only Sunny would not be one of those people. Raj wanted her and he wanted Pansy as well. She had realised that truth very quickly. He was keen to claim the family that he had never had. It was a choice he had never enjoyed before. Marrying her, she appreciated, would be something akin to a science experiment for Raj. He was greeting the opportunity with enthusiasm but would still be waiting to see how the chips fell. She and Pansy and her animals would be on trial, she decided ruefully. Ultimately, Raj would have to decide whether they added to or detracted from his untrammelled life of not committing to anything other than business. It was a grave, sobering thought to cherish before a wedding.

The obstetrician, who arrived after the fashion team had departed, was suave and charming, visibly tickled pink to be invited to take care of her pregnancy. With him came his nurse and a technician and a lot of medical equipment. Raj looked on the cavalcade with approbation.

‘I want to know that you’re safe, that I’ve taken every possible precaution with your health,’ he confided.

She could not be critical of such an outlook. Yes, it annoyed her that he had gone above her head and yet, on the other hand, she was delighted that he was sufficiently interested in seeing their unborn child to arrange an ultrasound that he too could be present to enjoy. Ushered into a private reception room with a doctor, she had a comprehensive medical questionnaire to fill in and all the usual tests.

Raj joined them for a discussion of how her previous reproductive problems might play out during her current pregnancy. Raj’s troubled brow cleared when the obstetrician confessed that he saw no reason for her past surgical history to influence her pregnancy in any way. Then it was time for her to lie down on the couch and the technician moved forward and the gel was rubbed over her slightly protuberant tummy.

‘I’m not flat any more,’ she sighed.

‘That’s my baby in there. You don’t need to make excuses on that score,’ Raj proclaimed with satisfaction.

‘Would you like to know the gender? It may be possible to see now but it may also not be possible,’ they were warned. ‘It depends on the position of the baby in the uterus.’

The screen before them came alive and at first Sunny couldn’t pick out anything but lighter spaces and darker places. Then the technician was talking them through it and she saw the tiny legs and the little arms and her heart was in her mouth and Raj was leaning forward with pronounced interest to learn that they could look forward to becoming the parents of a baby boy.

Raj closed her hand into his and grinned at her, delighted and not even trying to hide the fact. ‘A boy?’

‘A large boy. Miss Barker is already showing more pregnant than would have been expected at present. It’s possible that a C-section may be necessary at the delivery stage, but we’ll know more about that in a few months,’ the obstetrician told them with assurance. ‘There is no cause for concern at this time. Miss Barker is in good health, as is the baby.’

A wide smile on his sculpted lips, Raj rose from his seat and helped her off the couch as she righted her clothing. He said all that was polite, checked that a further visit was scheduled and guided Sunny back out again. ‘That was...unexpectedly very exciting,’ he admitted in evident surprise. ‘Our baby, there on screen for us to see. A kind of first hello. Amazing!’

‘You’ve never seen an ultrasound before?’

‘Why would I have? I know how the tech works but I was never interested. I didn’t believe that I would ever have a child. It has never been one of my goals,’ Raj admitted quietly. ‘But now that our son is on the way? It’s changed everything. You have enriched my life, Sunny. I can never thank you enough for that.’

Sunny paled, wishing that he had used his words in another way. As it was, she felt as though he was more excited about their child than he was about marrying her. And how could she be happy about that? After all, any woman could have given him a child and that ability did not make her either special or unique. She had lucked out in more ways than one, she thought unhappily. She had fallen accidentally pregnant by a very rich guy, who was thoroughly enjoying the experience even of her actually being pregnant with his child. But it wasn’t personal. It wasn’t love and maybe it was na?ve of her to still want more than the romantic trappings of an engagement ring and a free hand to organise the society wedding of the year.

Raj was rich and intelligent. He wouldn’t marry her in any hole-and-corner way that might suggest that he was marrying her unwillingly or only because she carried his child. No, Raj would push the boat out in public. He would also look after every aspect of her pregnancy and guard her from every ill to ensure her health and security. He would do all of that for his child...not for her in person. Her baby had somehow become more important than she was, she conceded heavily.

A little voice in her troubled brain cried out that Raj had given up his convenient mistresses for her benefit and that at that point he had had no idea that it was even possible for her to conceive. But that was sex, she reminded herself. When she had said no to Raj initially, his interest in her had grown exponentially. She had then become infinitely more desirable in her unattainability because he, primarily, was not accustomed to women saying no to him. Her conception had been a massive surprise, but it was also something new and fresh and Raj Belanger was intellectually programmed to be fascinated by anything new and fresh. Furthermore, his attitude to children had been tempered by his meetings with Pansy. Pansy had gently eased him into the idea of a paternal role.

‘You’re very quiet,’ Raj remarked. ‘I have to leave.’

‘I can cope,’ she said brightly, forcing a smile as Bear and Bert surged across the big hall to greet her.

Bert, however, raced straight past her to gambol round Raj’s feet. ‘Why’s he doing that?’ he demanded, stepping back in surprise from the little dog’s approach.

‘Evidently, he’s your dog now. It’s pretty obvious he prefers men and I’m the lady who tried and failed to rehome him with two different women, so Bert has finally found his new owner and you’re stuck with him.’

‘But he’s an insane bully.’

‘Not around you, he’s not. He listens to you.’

‘The cat doesn’t. When I told him off for scratching at my desk, he stuck his nose in the air and strolled away.’

‘We should’ve packed the log.’

‘He has a scratching post.’

‘He likes his log. Don’t you think I tried a scratching post for him? He’s choosy.’

‘I’ll phone you first thing in the morning when I’m in New York,’ Raj promised. ‘And try to do some shopping for our honeymoon. You’ll need lighter clothing.’

‘Where are we going?’

‘Haven’t quite decided yet but there’ll be sunshine and plants for you to be inspired by,’ he said confidently.

The next ten days were packed tight with activity for Sunny. She had innumerable calls from friends, astonished by their wedding invitations and the identity of the man she was to marry. Only a few of them had seen that photograph of her with Raj in the newspaper but, as public knowledge of their wedding plans spread, there were a couple of articles printed about her in more serious newspapers with references to her career as a botanical artist. Mid-week, the social worker in charge of Pansy’s case sent her documents to enable Raj to become part of the adoption application. And Sunny moved to Ashton Hall to get ready for the wedding.

Raj phoned her every day until he reached Iceland and that was the last she heard from him. When he had still not returned the night before the ceremony, Sunny started getting antsy. He didn’t answer his phone either. The morning of the wedding she enjoyed the attentions of a make-up artist and a hairstylist but her nerves were torn by Raj’s continuing absence. Surely he wouldn’t jilt her at the altar? If something were truly wrong, she told herself, it probably would have been in the newspapers or someone would have contacted her, wouldn’t they?

News of his late arrival was brought by her hairstylist, who reached the hall at about the same time. Relief spread through Sunny. Attired in her gown, she descended the stairs, confident of the fact that she had never taken so much care with her appearance and that she looked her very best.

Raj watched his bride move towards him. She had never looked more beautiful than in her fairy-tale dress with its tiny beaded flowers, the diamond pendant at her throat, a simple coronet crowning her upswept hair. A tremulous smile softened her tense lips when she saw him. He gave her the bunch of simple wildflowers to carry and took her hand in his to walk her into the ballroom through their assembled guests.

‘I thought you weren’t going to make it,’ she said breathlessly, striving to look neither to the left nor to the right at the sheer mass of people watching them. In any case, she was still reliving that first glimpse of Raj, his tall, lean, powerful frame sheathed in a morning suit of exquisite tailoring. Black hair tousled by his ever-restless fingers, stunning dark golden eyes locked to her, his strong bronzed features taut. Gorgeous, drop-dead gorgeous, and to be all hers now.

‘Mechanical problems with the jet we were in, an accident in a cave with a foolhardy friend, who had to be rescued, had to reorganise our transport, smashed my phone into a wall. Dire,’ he admitted feelingly in a measured undertone and staring out of a tall window into the sky where a faint distant whine advertised the presence of the tiny craft darting above the house. ‘Those blasted press drones chasing pictures,’ he added. ‘It’s illegal to jam them. I’d shoot them out of the sky if I could but that’s not legal either.’

‘Forget about them,’ Sunny advised.

Her fine brows rose as they arrived with the vicar at the altar set up for the ceremony. A cave? What on earth had he been doing in a cave of all things? But the marriage service had begun and it was the old-style version. She was absorbed, making her vows, listening with intense amusement as Raj’s innate impatience had him diving in too early with his responses. Finally they exchanged wedding rings.

Raj skimmed a brief kiss over her mouth, evidently no fan of public displays and mindful of her make-up, and she wanted to grab him by the lapels and demand that he kiss her properly, an urge that mortified her. It was done. They were married, and as that intoxicating awareness infiltrated her she was shot back to reality by Pansy finally breaking free from Maria’s restraining hold and darting over to her to grab her knees through the dress. Raj swooped down to hoist the little girl up into his arms and she went straight into her ‘eyes...nose...mouth’ routine.

‘It’s just like any other day for her.’ Sunny chuckled. ‘She’ll keep us grounded.’

‘You look gorgeous in that dress,’ Raj told her frankly, dark deep-set eyes caressing.

‘Why couldn’t you phone me?’

‘Because I broke it during the caving accident and everyone else was using theirs.’

‘What the heck were you doing in a cave?’

‘Stag do. Caving, snow mobiles, white water rafting. Iceland. I enjoyed the first day of it. I like a physical challenge, but when that drunken idiot got hurt fooling around and had to be rescued, I felt as though I was too mature for it all.’

‘So, Iceland was a stag do,’ she gathered in mounting annoyance, thinking of the way she had been summarily deserted and left to handle all the wedding palaver. ‘Is your friend badly hurt?’

‘Broken leg and arm. He was lucky to get away that lightly,’ Raj advanced.

‘You should have mentioned the stag do,’ she told him flatly. ‘And when you were so late getting here, I thought you might not show up for the wedding, which was very inconsiderate.’

‘I’m not used to explaining my every move to anyone!’ Raj shot back at her without apology.

Sunny’s smile was bleak as they drifted into a drinks reception and many, many congratulatory meetings from their guests. She couldn’t match faces to names but she met Raj’s closer friends. And all the time she was thinking that, because Raj didn’t love her, he was still holding her at a distance. He hadn’t shared anything with her. My goodness, had she made a terrible mistake in marrying him?

‘I have to get changed for the reception,’ Sunny told him, stiff with the effort of keeping up a smile.

‘Not before you’re photographed in that gown.’ Raj signalled the photographer mingling with the crowd and whirled her off.

Thirty minutes of posing was enough for her and she fled upstairs, finding Raj on her heels as she hurried into their bedroom, still seething with anxious thoughts.

‘Undo my lacing,’ she urged, turning her back on him as she kicked off her high heels and shrank.

The straps slid down her shoulders as the corset loosened. With a husky groan, Raj slid his hands below the bodice to cup her breasts and chafe her straining nipples. An inarticulate cry broke from her lips as she fell back against him and he tugged the dress down so that it fell and bared her for his pleasure. ‘Gorgeous,’ he said thickly.

‘Raj—’

‘You can say no, although I’ll try very hard not to mess up your hair. I’m burning up for you.’ He flexed his hips against her bottom and she felt him long and hard and urgent and the warmth in her pelvis heated to boiling point.

‘Going to say no,’ she framed, out of patience with him. ‘Sorry, but no.’

Aware of his dark stare, Sunny climbed into her other dress, sliding her feet into the comfy ballet slippers with relief.

‘What’s wrong?’ Raj demanded.

Sunny rounded on him. ‘What’s right? You’re out of touch for days, worrying me, and then you almost miss our wedding... That’s how late your arrival was! I was afraid I was being jilted, which is not a thought any bride wants to have. Just because you don’t love me, Raj, doesn’t mean you can get away with treating me without consideration!’

Raj’s lean dark features were rigid. ‘That was not my intention. I believed—obviously wrongly—that you had more faith in me than to have such a fear.’

Sunny’s heart sank inside her. That stripped their relationship down to the very barest bones, she thought wretchedly. A male in love would have been more sympathetic towards his bride’s feelings but Raj was not in love. Raj had married her to retain access to her and Pansy and eventually his own child. For him, that had been a totally practical solution, neither romantic nor sensitive, and to look for him to show her anything more than a desire for sex was obviously foolish.

When they returned to their guests, the ballroom had been transformed for the reception and they took their seats to be served. There was only one speech, from Raj’s best man. Neither of them had relatives to make speeches. While they ate they were entertained by a world-famous female singer. They cut the cake, they danced.

Pansy fell asleep in Sunny’s arms. ‘Either we stay the night here or we leave soon,’ she warned Raj.

‘I’ll stay for another hour.’ Raj dug out his phone. ‘You can catch the helicopter with Pansy out to the yacht.’

‘I should change,’ Sunny said wearily.

‘Why bother? You can change when you get there.’ He cupped her face with long gentle fingers. ‘You look tired and you shouldn’t be pushing yourself too hard. It’s been a long day.’

A crowd accompanied them outside. Raj helped her board and took charge of his niece to clip her into her seat before climbing back out again. Sunny screened a yawn as she put on the headphones and the helicopter rose in the air.

Raj saw the low-flying drone above first and shouted. His heart leapt into his throat as he watched the drone collide with the rotor blades. The craft lurched and spun as someone screamed and everybody around him backed off, cries of alarm filling the air. Raj felt sick. The helicopter began to drop down and pitched clumsily to one side before the pilot skilfully got it back under control and dropped it somewhat heavily down on the ground again.

Raj was the first to wrench open the doors. He grabbed Sunny, who was wide-eyed and shaking, while someone else released Pansy from her seat. Only a few feet from the craft, he wheeled to an abrupt halt and simply held Sunny. Pale as a sheet, he hugged her close and she realised that he was trembling against her.

‘We’ll stay the night here,’ he breathed. ‘I’m not letting you out of my sight again. Excuse me.’

Sunny watched him stride over to speak to the pilot and heard him thank the older man and congratulate him on their safe landing. Maria appeared to retrieve Pansy, who, amazingly, had slumbered through the entire experience.

Raj hovered over a sofa in the drawing room as a doctor checked Sunny out, satisfied that she had merely had a fright and was still in shock. He insisted she stay lying down and Raj crouched down beside her and closed one hand over hers. ‘I love you,’ he breathed rawly, startling her with that confession and the powerful tenderness lightening his eyes. ‘And I only just realised it. How stupid is that?’

Sunny stared up at him with wide rapt eyes. ‘I don’t get it.’

‘If it had been me that had a near-death accident, perhaps you would. I realised that my whole world was in that helicopter and that if it crashed I would lose everything—you, Pansy, our baby. It was the most terrifying moment of my life.’

Sunny cupped his jaw with her fingers in dawning wonderment and conviction. ‘Seriously?’

‘I want to wrap you in a protective cocoon and you wouldn’t let me.’

‘I knew I was falling in love with you that very first night on the yacht,’ she told him softly. ‘It was like something in me recognised you very early on. I guessed how you would react to things. You probably don’t believe in them, but I think we’re soulmates.’

‘Soulmates.’ Surprisingly, Raj liked that description. She fitted him like the missing piece of a puzzle. He no longer felt alone. He wanted to share stuff with her that he had never wanted to share with anyone. She calmed him when he was on edge, warned him when he was about to go over it. ‘You see my flaws, my mistakes, and you still love me?’

‘But you’re the same with me,’ she pointed out tenderly.

‘I thought of asking you to marry me the same day that you told me that you were pregnant, but I was scared you would think I was crazy. And then you shut me out and you had the right to do that: your baby, your body.’

‘This is your baby too. I was running scared. I didn’t want you to think that I was expecting anything from you and I guess I got carried away with my independent speech. Truthfully, I would always have wanted a father for my baby because I didn’t really have a father of my own. My father couldn’t see past Christabel to see me.’

‘And I learned how not to be a father from mine, who only saw me as a scientific subject for a study that might make him famous. When you first told me you had conceived, I was terrified because I didn’t think I would know how to be a father to a child.’

‘That’s why I told you that I was a superwoman, who could do it all on my own.’

‘You knew?’

‘Well, I had a fair idea you would be challenged.’

‘And in the wrong mood, Pansy can be challenging, and I learned that I could cope the same way you do, with common sense and care. I don’t feel as restless and dissatisfied with you in my life. I told you I couldn’t do soppy.’

‘And then you did the fireworks and the fab bath by candlelight and I thought, Oh, yes, he can do anything he wants to do. And you wanted to do it for me. It made me feel amazing.’

They strolled very slowly back to their wedding reception, but were so mutually absorbed that they really might as well not have bothered. That tight little pool of happiness enclosed them and closed out other people. A long time later, they went to bed and they talked and laughed and made love. The next day they travelled by road to join the yacht. Raj was set on Madagascar.

‘Fabulous flora,’ he promised her.

‘I love you,’ she told him fiercely, touched that he was always thinking of her interests, rather than his own.

‘I’ll love you for ever,’ he swore passionately.