CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER NINE
L EX TOOK P ORTIA ’ S HAND , helping her from the helicopter, enjoying her look of dazzled delight.
He’d wondered if the flight to Athens would tire her. There were still smudges of shadow beneath her eyes, but her pleasure as the chopper took them over Athens then across the Saronic Gulf had eased his concern.
‘I never realised the sea could be so blue. And to see the Parthenon from the air...’ She smiled at him and his fingers tightened reflexively around hers. That smile. ‘It’s brilliant. Thank you, Lex.’
She’d said she’d never been in a helicopter before. He was glad to be able to give her that experience.
Gladder still to be the recipient of that stunning smile. He reminded himself that his focus was getting her to relax and, in time, agree to his proposal. That was why her happiness made him feel good.
‘I’m pleased you like it.’
In her pale trousers and vivid red top she looked like the vivacious girl he’d fallen for all those years ago. In this moment there were no doubts or boundaries, just pure joy.
It was a rare thing. Even in the short time they’d been reunited and become lovers again, he’d sensed hidden constraint. They’d given themselves to each other with physical abandon. Yet Portia kept back part of herself.
He’d done the same. Neither were those na?ve youngsters who’d believed love conquered all, ready to lay hearts and souls completely bare.
Seeing her now, her pleasure unfettered, Lex realised how much he’d missed. How much more there was to Portia than the sexy woman capable of satisfying, even outstripping his erotic fantasies.
He wanted to hoard her joy like a miser hoarded gold.
He wanted her to look at him like that every day.
He’d missed her, he acknowledged.
‘This is yours?’
Her sweeping gaze took in this end of the island, the forest to their left and to the right his villa with its informal garden that meandered down to the beach.
‘It’s a very small island.’
She frowned. ‘You own your own island?’
‘There’s an old monastery on the far side of the hill but it’s deserted now.’
He didn’t explain that the church had let him buy the property for a sizeable sum. Some people were awed by his money, but Portia wasn’t one. He remembered her comments about some of her father’s guests. She was used to mixing with wealthy people. But she’d never been impressed by people who flaunted their money, or expected it to excuse rudeness or a sense of entitlement.
Is that how she saw him? Arrogantly flaunting his wealth? He wasn’t going to apologise for his success.
‘I was living and working in Athens but wanted somewhere quiet to come home to.’ He gestured to the far side of the garden that gave way to a grove of twisted, venerable olive trees surrounded by a froth of wildflowers. ‘It’s peaceful. I do some of my best thinking here.’
She nodded, her smile returning as she took in the view. ‘The scenery is totally different but it reminds me of the field below the woodland at Cropley.’
Lex remembered the tranquil place with its rich scent of growing things. Sheltered by forest on three sides, it had an otherworldly air. It had been one of her favourite places to escape when her bombastic father made life difficult. ‘I remember—’
‘Do you commute by helicopter every day?’ she said quickly, making him wonder if she felt she’d revealed too much. Her expression now was unreadable and he sensed she’d shut a door on him. Or was it on her past?
‘Not usually. It’s a short trip by boat to Piraeus, Athens’ port. I brought you by air because it’s quicker from the airport than travelling by road to the port then making the crossing. I wanted the trip as fast and easy as possible for you.’
‘That’s kind. Thank you.’
Lex led her towards the house. He wanted to protest it wasn’t kind. It was what a man did for his...
What? Lover? Fiancée? She hasn’t agreed to marry you yet.
But she would. He’d make it happen. He was determined to look after her and their child.
Portia stopped at a curve on the path, the sun turning her dark honey hair to old gold. The spring breeze was cool, ruffling her hair, but the sun was warm. The English drizzle was a distant memory. ‘Thanks for offering this holiday, Lex. A fortnight taking time out from work is what I need.’
Her tone wasn’t that of a lover. Her gratitude was genuine he knew, but she sounded like she spoke to a stranger. Her voice was polite but edging towards brisk, like someone determined to be upbeat. It struck a discordant note after her unfettered enthusiasm moments ago.
She was putting up barriers.
Why had he thought that coming here would make everything easier?
‘It’s the least I can do.’ He caught her eye and held it, willing her to see how invested he was. ‘You know I want what’s best for you and the baby.’
‘I know.’ She paused. ‘And you know that in coming here I’m not agreeing to anything else.’
There it was. Not just a barrier but a solid wall topped with razor wire. She was warning him off, keeping him at a distance.
As if what they’d shared, and the future they’d face together, didn’t matter. He understood her caution. Their ill-fated affair had scarred them both. Yet it frustrated him that she couldn’t see the obvious, that creating a family for their child was the best way forward. He was willing to put aside his doubts about a permanent relationship and embrace the future. Surely she could do the same.
‘Don’t worry, Portia. You made it clear what you thought of my marriage proposal.’ That still smarted. He’d never suggested marriage to anyone else and her vehement rejection had been an unpleasant shock. He was only trying to do right by all of them. ‘My housekeeper has prepared a separate suite for you.’
Colour rose in Portia’s cheeks, yet she held his gaze steadily as she nodded.
Damn it! He didn’t need to be reminded that it was her choice whether she slept with him. Or whether she accepted his proposal. He knew that. He’d just hoped she’d changed her mind.
Hoped or assumed?
Perhaps his business success had made him complacent. He was used to setting goals and achieving them. To winning over wary collaborators and investors. To getting his own way. Of course there’d been failures along the way. He’d learnt from them and built his business better as a result.
But he’d grown used to success.
‘I just don’t want there to be any misunderstanding between us, Lex.’
He heard it then, the exhaustion that had dogged her in London and that her enthusiasm for the flight had hidden.
The sound was like a bucket of ice water dumped on his head, or more precisely, his ego. What did anything matter besides her well-being and the baby’s? He had plenty of time to win her round.
Lex unlocked his jaw and made himself smile. ‘You’re right. It’s better to have these things out in the open.’ He turned and gestured for her to walk with him. ‘Now we’ve got that sorted, let me show you the house. I hope you like it. If there’s anything you want at any time, just ask.’
Portia heard a buzzing and drowsily opened her eyes. Nearby a bee emerged from a pink flower and flew unsteadily past her. Drunk on pollen and sunshine, she thought. Much like herself. She felt lazy and relaxed. Even the burgeoning nausea had evaporated. There’d been no more spotting either, which eased her stress levels enormously.
The book she’d been reading lay open beside her, pages riffling in the slight breeze. The old olive tree above her rustled, silver green leaves moving against the bright blue sky. The scents of nectar and some pungent herb, oregano maybe, filled her nostrils. And the sea too. She lifted her head, propping it on her arm, to survey the sickle of white sand against the clear water at the bottom of the slope.
This place really was paradise, incredibly beautiful and perfectly peaceful. How foolish she’d been to resist coming here. Every day she’d felt her tension ease, her worries erode under the Greek sun. Good food and lots of rest had worked magic this last week.
When Lex had announced he was staying on the island, Portia had assumed he’d try to press his case for marriage. Or tempt her into bed. She’d tensed, ready to repel him.
Her huff of laughter held a self-derisory note.
Clearly she’d overestimated her allure. He’d turned off his passion as easily as water in a tap.
Lex had told her he respected her decision and, instead of cajoling or pressing her, he’d treated her simply like a welcome guest. As if they’d never been intimate. As if his desire for her had died.
And as if it didn’t matter to him one way or another.
It was what you wanted.
But perversely his ability to regard her with easy friendship and no hint of attraction left her feeling flat. He seemed to find a platonic relationship easy . That unsettled her.
Portia had wanted not to be crowded. She’d needed space to think. She couldn’t do that when she and Lex were physically intimate because he clouded her thinking, and now more than ever she needed to think clearly. Their affair had been amazing, sexually fulfilling yet at the same time it had left her perpetually yearning for more.
She needed physical distance to keep her perspective.
What she hadn’t realised was that not having Lex, yet sharing a house with him, even one as vast as this, would be so distracting.
Distracting! She thought of him all the time. She felt his presence. Her skin prickled whenever he was near, just waiting for him to reach out and caress her. A caress that never came.
He filled her days and nights, even though he spent most of his days working. He respected her privacy, usually seeing her only at mealtimes when he proved to be a perfect host, thoughtful, cheerful and engaging.
Portia enjoyed their conversations, loved the way he challenged her intellectually yet laughed easily. He made it easy to forget he was a now self-made billionaire. He’d done his best to help her enjoy her stay and put aside some of her anxieties about the future.
But there was a price to pay for all that.
She looked forward to being with him. The way his deep blue eyes lit with laughter. The occasional wordless understanding that she supposed came from sharing so much in the past. There was a lot they didn’t know about each other these days, yet she knew Lex better than she knew anybody else in the world.
Knew him and wanted him.
Abruptly she sat up, leaning back against the tree and wrapping her arms around her knees.
How had she got into this situation?
She should be making decisions for the future, for the baby. Yet whenever she tried she found herself dwelling on Lex’s suggestion that they marry.
It was an outrageous idea. He’d taken her heart and stomped on it. While she was a stronger woman now, the notion of sharing her life with him scared her. Did she trust her emotions not to lead her astray again?
Madness to think of them trying to sustain a long-term relationship with no basis other than sex and a shared child. But the idea kept creeping back into her head.
Something moved on the other side of the olive grove. She turned her head and there he was, walking towards her.
Her breath snagged in her lungs. Lex was such a physical man with his leanly muscled torso and long, strong legs. He moved with a fluidity that reminded her how easy he’d always been in his own skin. How athletic.
Portia’s gaze skated across his black polo shirt and long khaki shorts, drinking in the proud set of his shoulders and the outline of powerful thighs.
She released a shuddering exhalation, the pungent scent of wild herbs intensifying as her hands curled into the plants beside her.
Each day it grew harder to resist him.
If he even wants you anymore! Maybe you did him a favour saying you wanted separate beds. He seems happy sleeping alone now.
‘Portia.’ He smiled but she couldn’t read his eyes behind his sunglasses. ‘I thought you’d like a drink.’
He hunkered beside her, unpacking the picnic basket his housekeeper, Aspasia, must’ve packed. As well as the promised drink there were grapes, fragrant little cheese pies wrapped in thin, papery pastry and walnut biscuits dripping with honey syrup. Her mouth watered.
It was easier to focus on the goodies in the basket than on Lex. He smelt so good that her nostrils flared, trying to absorb more of that tantalising male scent.
‘You mind if I join you?’
It would be churlish to refuse. She held out her hand in invitation. ‘Please.’
‘How’s the work going?’ she asked when the picnic was unpacked and he lounged nearby, looking at the view and munching on one of Aspasia’s cheese pies.
‘Good. Very good. We’ve had a bit of a breakthrough in our discussions with the British research team.’
Portia and Lex hadn’t discussed their work. In England they’d been too busy assuaging the storm of passion that had engulfed them. Here on the island their conversations had been carefully general. Portia had steered clear of anything too personal and had deliberately reined in her curiosity about Lex’s world beyond the island. He, the perfect host, had followed her lead.
But what was the harm in discovering more? Whatever decisions they made, Lex would remain in her life, father to her child.
Her deliberate decision in London, not to discover more about Lex’s business and family—as if that would cement the distance between them and keep her safe—seemed farcical now. The more she knew, the better she’d understand him. Better for herself and their baby.
Besides, she wanted to know more. ‘These are the discussions you were having on your visits to London?’
‘That’s right. My time there has paid off.’
He bit into the pastry and she watched him chew.
Since when had the everyday sight of a man eating become so fascinating?
It was ludicrous, yet she had to tear her attention away instead of reaching out to brush a crumb of pastry off his lips. Already she imagined the feel of those lips against her fingers.
‘They’re hard negotiators, these researchers?’
He shrugged, apparently unsurprised by her curiosity. ‘They have specific criteria they want locked in before they decide to partner with any production company.’
‘Really? I thought researchers would be glad to find investors who’d manufacture their product.’
His gaze snared hers. ‘That’s just it. To what extent does it remain their product once they partner with a company that will turn their concept into a commercial product? There are questions about how their ideas will be used.’
Portia frowned. ‘They think you’ll misuse their inventions?’
‘Not me personally, or my company. But they’ve learnt to be wary, with good reason. We produce medical devices and technology. Most medical researchers are motivated by the desire to help people. They see themselves making the world a better place. But there are cases where companies acquired breakthroughs, commercialised them and only those with plenty of money benefited from them.’
She sat straighter. ‘That’s not right.’
‘I agree. Our business model is different. We establish strong partnerships with research teams, and we’re serious about their desire to make life-changing inventions widely available. We’re still driven by the need to make profits, but make specific commitments to our research partners. For instance, a percentage of all our products is either available at cost or donated to communities around the world that couldn’t otherwise afford them.’
Portia felt a glow deep inside. ‘That’s wonderful!’
He shrugged. ‘The interesting thing is that our ethical stance has attracted a flood of innovators and investors. Our profits have soared and new opportunities keep beckoning.’
‘And you’re making a difference to people’s lives. You must be proud.’
‘I am. It was a hard road to success, but we’ve built a great team and we’re going from strength to strength.’
She saw the glitter in his eyes, heard the enthusiasm in his voice and felt a thrill of pride at what he’d achieved. What he was still achieving.
‘How did you get into that? You mentioned working in a restaurant in Athens, not in medical research.’
He laughed. ‘I’m a businessman, not an inventor or tech expert. My forte is identifying opportunities, bringing the right resources together and making it happen.’
Portia suspected that ‘making it happen’ was nowhere near as easy as he made it sound. It sounded complex and challenging, especially for a start-up company.
When he saw her waiting for more information he went on. ‘I had a lot of jobs. Working on building sites. In the restaurant. Cleaning. You name it. I usually had at least three jobs. One was as a cleaner at a university. Late one night I got talking to a researcher about joints.’
‘Joints?’
‘He’d designed a new artificial joint that he hoped would last longer than the ones in use at the time. We got talking about recuperating from injuries and I chipped in with questions based on what I’d seen with horses. Not that I knew anything about artificial joints, but I was interested.’
Of course he was. He’d always had an inquiring mind.
Portia remembered him with the animals on the estate. She’d once thought that in other circumstances he might have become a vet. He had an affinity with horses and his care was second to none. It was the one area in which her father could never fault him.
‘His field was fascinating and he was happy to talk about his work.’ Lex paused. ‘Later, when I met my father and we got to know each other, he offered me a place in his firm. My two older half-brothers worked there but I thought it would be better for me to do something different.’
‘Because you felt you didn’t fit in? Didn’t they make you welcome?’ The words escaped before Portia thought about them. ‘Sorry. That’s none of my business.’
Yet she was curious. The more she learnt, the more she wanted to know.
‘I don’t mind talking about it.’ He paused as if gathering his thoughts. ‘They all made me welcome. My father, half-brothers and half-sister. They wanted me to join the shipping business my great-grandfather started. But I felt...’ He lifted one shoulder as if uncomfortable. ‘I wanted to make my own mark. Build my own success. I suppose that sounds ungrateful but—’
‘It doesn’t.’ Portia remembered Lex’s pride and determination. And his hard work. Maybe too, he’d felt he had to prove himself, not least to the wealthy family he’d discovered. Had his siblings thought him a freeloader at first? That would have spurred him on to succeed independently. ‘Your father must be proud of you for standing on your own two feet.’
He nodded. ‘You’re right. For all his protests I think he was pleased. He offered me the money to start my own enterprise. That’s how I began. I didn’t do it alone. I had help. We had help. The company wouldn’t have got anywhere without that initial funding. But I paid back the start-up funds with interest.’
‘Let me guess? You started with your friend’s artificial joint?’
‘I wish. The university took a deal with a large company. No, we started small and learnt a lot along the way and we’ve been more successful than I’d dared hope. We work with top-class teams around the world with exciting new technologies.’
Lex’s enthusiasm was catching. He loved what he did and she was glad for him.
She hoped she’d find similar fulfilment when she had a chance to pursue her dreams. Her smile faded as she considered the complications ahead. She’d finally got to the point of being able to undertake the study she’d wanted for so long but she couldn’t imagine studying with a baby. Maybe in a few more years.
‘Is something wrong, Portia?’
‘Nothing at all. So you’re close to your family?’
How strange it must have felt to acquire siblings and a parent so late in life. She almost envied him the experience. Her mother had died years ago yet Portia still missed her.
‘Yes,’ he said after a moment’s consideration. ‘It took a while. That was my fault. I suppose I wondered if they felt obliged to be nice to me. But they’re a patient lot and we get on well.’
He took a long draught from his glass. ‘That’s something I want to discuss with you. Seeing my family.’
Portia snatched a breath.
Was that why he’d been so forthcoming, answering her questions? They’d strayed into personal territory, discussing his relationship with his Greek relatives. Yet Lex had answered every query, letting her into his private life in a way she suspected few others were allowed.
Had he been softening her up to meet them? As part of his plan to convince her to marry and stay in Greece?
Predictably her muscles tensed.
Portia shook her head. It was one thing to have a quiet holiday here in private. It was another to meet his family. Her world was already out of kilter with the news Lex wanted to be a permanent part of it. She wasn’t ready to get so involved in his life. Keeping her distance protected her from hurt. Meeting his relatives would complicate things.
‘Hear me out before you say no,’ he urged.
‘You promised privacy. Peace and quiet.’
‘I did and I’ll keep my promise.’ After a moment he continued. ‘It’s my father’s birthday next week. My sister, Zoe, rang soon after we arrived on the island to check when I was coming to Athens. I was swimming and when she couldn’t raise me she rang my housekeeper.’ He shook his head. ‘Aspasia let slip that I had a female guest and Zoe’s been threatening to visit ever since.’
Portia stared. ‘Surely she knows if you’ve got a woman here you want privacy, not a visit from your sister.’
Heat climbed her throat. Because she was imagining him here making love with another woman? Or because, despite her caution, she wanted to be that woman?
What a tangled mess!
‘Of course she knows. But you have to understand Zoe has spent years trying to find me a long-term partner.’
‘Oh.’
Portia’s stomach plummeted. It shouldn’t be a surprise. She’d wondered if Lex had a woman in the wings.
‘She also knows I’ve never brought a woman here.’
‘Really?’
Lex removed his sunglasses, his gaze meeting hers with a warmth she felt all the way to her curling toes. ‘Really. This is my private place, my retreat.
‘I’ve fended Zoe off for the last week but she’s threatening to turn up anyway if I don’t bring you to Athens. My sister is warm and goodhearted but bossy. For some reason she thinks I need taking in hand.’ He smiled ruefully. ‘I was already going to invite you to my father’s birthday dinner. I’d like you to be there.’
‘But I’m an outsider.’
Those denim eyes held hers and her blood sizzled. Sometimes it felt like a losing battle, trying to stave off her desire for this man.
Was that weakness? Was she fighting the inevitable? The idea scared her.
‘You’re not an outsider, Portia. We share so much. Even if you don’t want to marry me, you’re my oldest friend.
‘Friends trust each other, Lex. They don’t believe the worst then cut them off without a hearing.’
Portia’s chest tightened as emotion welled from deep inside. Emotion she’d suppressed too long. Because she’d tried to move past the bitterness of disappointment, not wanting to dwell there. ‘You discarded me.’
He nodded, his face grave.
‘I let you down badly.’ His words, slow and deep, had the resonance of a tolling bell. ‘I’m ashamed of what I did. I was a stupid kid and couldn’t quite believe my luck in having won you. I was proud and selfish but my confidence was a veneer. When it cracked I saw it as proof I’d been fooling myself.’ He raised his hand. ‘That’s no excuse. There is no excuse. But it’s an explanation.’
He paused, his gaze holding hers. ‘I’m sorry, Portia. If I could undo the past I would. But I’ll make it up to you now. I want to look after you.’
His expression made her chest squeeze. He could still make her feel too much.
‘You’re going to be the mother of my child. You’re carrying the next Tomaras in your womb. Let me share the responsibility.’
It was on the tip of her tongue to say her baby would be born an Oakhurst. But that was quibbling.
She wanted to tell him she could look after herself. Instead she exhaled slowly, trying to release the tension gripping her.
‘I know you’re trying to do what you think is right.’
But was it right for her?
‘Come to Athens with me next week. I can show you some wonderful galleries and you’ll still have plenty of time to rest. You can meet my family and get a better feel for my life in Greece. One way or another they and I are going to be in your life from now on. This way you get to meet them with no pressure on you. Surely that’s a good thing.’
‘They don’t know about the baby?’
‘I haven’t told a soul. I’d simply introduce you as a friend, visiting from London. Time to tell them about the baby later, when we’ve made some decisions.’
Decisions she was putting off.
Portia plucked at the herb growing beside her hip, releasing a rich, savoury scent into the fresh sea air.
He sighed. ‘If you don’t want to go I can’t force your hand. But don’t be surprised if my sister turns up next week. She often sails from the mainland and is quite capable of arriving unannounced. You could stay in your room and avoid her, but it might be stressful hiding out instead of meeting her.’
Portia stiffened. She wasn’t hiding. She just wanted quiet time to unwind and decide what she was going to do.
You’re hiding. You’ve had a week of quiet but you’re no closer to sorting out a compromise with Lex.
What are you going to do if his sister comes? Lock yourself in your room?
Lex was right. His family was important to her, because they’d have a role in her child’s life. Maybe meeting them would help her decide what to do for the future.
Are you really thinking about migrating to Greece? Even marriage?
She wasn’t thinking about anything but making good choices for herself and her baby, which meant being well informed. Besides she was curious about Lex’s family. Curious about his new life and the man he’d become.
‘Thank you for the invitation. I’ll come to Athens and meet your family.’