13. ~ Jake ~
Sitting in the living room, I can’t help but feel a mixture of anticipation and nervousness.
Mia and I had agreed to have a heart-to-heart with Dylan and Emily, aiming to bridge any gaps forming between us. I clear my throat, trying to gather my thoughts and ensure my voice doesn”t betray the uncertainty I”m feeling inside.
“Dylan. Emily,” I start, making sure to capture their attention. “We have something important we want to talk about. And, we want you guys to be completely honest about how you feel, okay?”
Dylan nods, his expression serious, and even Emily follows Dylan with a nod of her head, seeming to understand the gravity of the moment. There’s a brief silence, filled only by the soft ticking of the clock on the mantle.
Mia gestures encouragingly, her presence a comforting warmth beside me.
”Can you tell us how you really feel about the pregnancy?” I then hold my breath and feel tense since I have no idea what their responses will be. I can understand confusion over the situation but if they were downright against it, I know that would pain both Mia and me.
“Dad.” Dylan’s voice is tentative. “I’ve always wanted to be a big brother. Always. But I never really thought it would happen, you know? It’s like... I’m not sure how to feel. It”s just so much, so fast, I think.”
I can see the conflict in his eyes, the struggle between what he’s dreamed of and the reality of the situation. It’s a feeling I know all too well.
“Dylan, it’s okay to feel confused,” Mia says softly, her voice a soothing balm. “Big changes can bring big emotions, and it’s completely normal to need time to adjust.”
Emily, who had been quietly observing, finally speaks up, “Are we still going to be important to you and Mr. Jake when the baby comes?”
Her question hits me harder than I anticipated. The fear of being less critical or being overlooked in the wake of new beginnings is one I hadn’t fully addressed in my own heart.
“Emily, Dylan, look at me,” I say, ensuring I have their full attention. “You two are critical to Mia and me. The arrival of a new family member won’t change that. If anything, it means our family is growing, and that’s a beautiful thing. We’ll all have more love to share.”
Mia nods in agreement, reaching over to gently squeeze both Dylan and Emily”s hands. “We’re a team, remember? Always.”
The room fills with a heavy, thoughtful silence as Dylan and Emily ponder our words. I can see the gears turning in their minds, processing, challenging, and slowly accepting the new shape our family is taking.
“We’ll figure this out together,” I continue, my voice more robust now, filled with a conviction I didn’t realize I possessed until this moment. “And we’ll make sure that this family, our family, is built on a foundation of love, respect, and understanding. No matter what changes come our way.”
”And if we ever feel uncomfortable... can we tell you?” Dylan asks, as Mia nods with a reassuring smile.
Dylan finally cracks a small smile, and Emily, encouraged by Dylan”s response, nods, a spark of her usually spirited self returning to her eyes.
”You can always come to us about anything you feel. No matter if you think it”ll hurt our feelings or not. The most important thing is making sure that you two are okay,” I chime in, hoping my response is enough to relax their worries.
“That sounds good, Dad,” Dylan says, and I can hear the beginnings of acceptance in his voice.
“Yeah, it does,” Emily adds, suddenly looking down, fiddling with the hem of her shirt. ”But…I don’t know how to be a big sister,” she murmurs, her voice barely above a whisper. ”What if I mess it up?”
I exchange a quick glance with Mia, sensing the depth of Emily”s vulnerability. ”Hey,” I begin, my voice soft but firm. ”Being a big sister, just like anything else new, is something you’ll learn along the way. We don’t expect you to know everything right off the bat. And guess what? You’re going to be an amazing big sister because you care enough to worry about it.”
Mia scoots closer to Emily, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. ”You won”t be alone in this, sweetheart. We”ll be here to help you, guide you, and support you. Messing up isn”t failing—it”s how we learn and grow. And we”ll all mess up and grow together.”
Emily lifts her head, her eyes meeting ours. There”s a moment of silence as she processes our words, the concern in her eyes gradually giving way to a cautious optimism.
”Did you two want to have a baby when you used to date?” Dylan suddenly asks, throwing both Mia and me off. I then remember that we had told Emily and Dylan weeks ago about how Mia and I used to date and were friends growing up. It had gotten to that due to Mia telling Emily all about the things she used to do when she grew up in Pine Creek.
Mia looks flushed as I chuckle in amusement. ”We were teenagers so no. We were busy thinking about how much money we”d be able to make since we”d finally be able to move from part-time working to full-time after graduating. But I did plan for us to move in together.”
”You did?” Mia looks at me weirdly, as she’s confused at the response. ”Even with me having planned to move a year before graduation?”
”You did?” It”s my turn to be confused as I scratch the back of my head, unsure of what she”s talking about. Realizing we had something to discuss as I feel anger growing in the pit of my stomach, I turn my attention to the children and smile at them.
”Well, that”s all we wanted to know. We want you to be comfortable with the pregnancy and understand that your feelings and thoughts do matter. And that you can always come to us, no matter what. Dylan, you can take Emily up to your room to play.”
Dylan slides off the couch and waits for Emily to follow before they excitedly rush out of the living room with an activity or game in mind. I then turn my attention to Mia with an eyebrow raised.
A few minutes of silence steamrolls by before I finally break it as I fold my arms across my chest. I remain standing while Mia has taken a seat on the couch.
I stand there, the weight of our past and present pressing down on me, as Mia looks up, her expression a mix of confusion and hurt. The air between us is charged, heavy with the unspoken and unresolved, and I find myself grappling for the right words.
”So, you were planning on moving to Cedarvale all along?” My voice barely rises above a whisper, the feeling of betrayal gnawing at my insides. ”And you never thought to mention it until now?”
Mia”s eyes, once pools of warmth, now flicker with defensiveness. ”Jake, it wasn”t like that. I… I thought things would change. That we could figure it out together.”
Her words stung, a reminder of plans made and dreams shared, now tainted by secrets and lies. ”Figure it out? Mia, how could we figure it out when I didn”t know the truth? You knew how much I was looking forward to us moving in together to start our lives together.”
The silence that follows is suffocating, each of us lost in our whirlpool of thoughts and regrets. It was then Mia”s turn to confront me, her voice steady but laced with anger.
”And what about you, Jake? Planning our whole future without once stopping to consider what I wanted? Pressuring me into moving and going to college together, even after I said I wasn’t sure. Did my dreams even matter to you, or was it just about what you wanted?”
I flinch, her words slicing through the facade of righteousness I had cloaked myself in. ”I... I thought I was doing it for us, Mia. I thought it”s what we both wanted.”
”But you didn’t listen, Jake. You promised you’d drop it, yet you were ready to push us into a future I wasn”t sure of. How is that fair?” Her voice breaks, revealing the depth of her hurt.
I sink down next to her, the fight seeping out of me. ”Mia, I... I”m sorry. I just... I got carried away with the idea of finally being able to start our lives together. I didn”t realize...”
Mia shakes her head, frustration etched across her face. ”Didn”t realize? Jake, you didn”t even try to understand. You saw what you wanted and ignored everything else. It”s always been your way or the highway.”
I stand up, feeling the anger boiling inside me. ”That”s not fair, Mia. I”ve made compromises too. But how can we move forward if you”re holding secrets? How am I supposed to trust that?”
”Trust?” Mia”s laugh is bitter, devoid of any humor. ”You talk about trust, but you never trusted my decisions. You mapped out our lives without my consent and now you’re talking about trust?”
I retort, my voice raising despite my attempts to control it. ”Because I was planning a future for us! A future that seems to be slipping away because you—” I pause, my anger dissipating as quickly as it had surged, replaced by a profound sense of loss.
Mia looks away, tears glistening in her eyes. ”Maybe that”s the problem, Jake. Your idea of ”us” doesn”t include me, not really. It includes a version of me you”ve created in your head.”
Her words stun me into silence. In the heat of our argument, a harsh truth emerges, one that neither of us can ignore. The divide between us, once barely noticeable, now seems too vast to bridge.
We sit in silence, the chasm between us filled with years of miscommunications and unmet expectations. It’s clear that the path forward wouldn”t be easy, our relationship frayed by the secrets we kept and the truths we avoided. Yet, this moment, raw and painful, feels like a necessary tumult.
”Mia, I... I don”t know how we move past this,” I admit, my voice hoarse with emotion, ”but I do know that I don”t want to lose you. Not over mistakes made years ago.”
Mia looks at me, her eyes reflecting the turmoil within. ”Jake, I don”t want to lose us either. But we need to be honest with each other, now more than ever. We have to face what happened, understand why, and figure out where we go from here.”
The air between us shifts, lighter yet laden with the reality of the hard work ahead. We both understand that mending our relationship would require patience, honesty, and a willingness to forgive not just each other, but ourselves too.
I reach for her hand, a silent vow to face whatever comes our way, together. ”We”ll figure it out, Mia. One step at a time.”
And in that moment, despite the uncertainty of our future, I believed in ‘us’.