Most Valuable Playboy (Ballers and Babes #1)

Chapter 30

It takes all day to work up my nerve because I’m about to do something my agent would deem utterly insane.

That’s why I don’t call Ford. There wouldn’t be enough yoga classes in the Bay Area to calm him down if I told him my plan.

Besides, when I’m on the field and see safeties swarming the guy I’m about to throw to, I can’t find a new target if I’m looking to the sidelines for instructions.

I have to lead the team.

I have to be the one to lead my own damn career.

When the pregame team meeting in the hotel conference room ends that evening, I don’t leave with my teammates. I walk over to Greenhaven and ask if I can have a word. He turns away from his assistant coaches and tells them he’ll be right back. We head into a private room off the conference area, and he shuts the door.

“What can I do for you, Cooper?”

My first name. There it is again. That’s who I want to be for him. But I can’t be that guy if I’m lying. I clear my throat. “I wanted to thank you for the invitation to dinner with your wife.”

He nods. “Of course.” He takes a beat, studies my face, and reads me loud and clear. “But you didn’t need to pull me aside for that.”

“No. I didn’t.” I take a deep, fueling breath. “I’m not really involved with Violet.”

His brow furrows. His eyes register surprise. I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen Greenhaven flummoxed. “You’re not?”

“I am, but I’m not.”

“You might want to explain that better.”

“Something happened at the auction. Someone wanted to bid on me. And I didn’t want that person to win. So Violet bid, and when the host of the auction saw us onstage, she figured we were together, and I didn’t correct her. I said she was my girlfriend, and we kept it up.”

He raises an index finger like a professor making a point. “But you go around with her like you are with her. You stopped by the hospital, she kissed you at the game last week, you post those pictures on your feed…”

“You see my Instagram?”

“I’m aware of what my players post on social media. Are you saying it was all a lie?”

That word cuts straight through my chest, a sharp knife to my heart. Nothing has felt more true than my feelings for Violet. “I’m saying it started that way. I did it to make my life easier, but then somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her.” I hold up a hand. “I know that doesn’t excuse the fact that it started as a ruse. I’m not trying to make it all okay. The kiss on the field was real. At least to me, it felt real. Going to visit the kids was absolutely real, and to tell the truth, that’s probably when I knew in my heart I was in love with her.” I swallow and push past my fear that I’m upending my chances with the team.

His lips twitch. “A man doesn’t look at a woman the way you look at her without it being real.”

I flash back to the day in his office. To the gift he ordered for his wife. To the way he talks about Emily. This man is still madly in love with his woman. That must be what he sees in me when I look at Violet, when I talk about Violet.

“It is real. For me, at least. I have no idea if she feels the same. But I needed you to know the full truth. I want to carry this team. But I want to do it as a leader, not as a liar. And if I ever come to your house for dinner, I don’t want to be the guy who sits down at your table with you and your wife unless all my cards are on the table too.” I spread my hands in front of me, gesturing to the imaginary table. “These are my cards.”

He nods, the wheels in his head turning, it seems. “I appreciate you showing them to me.”

And that’s it. That’s all he says.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to return to the coaches.”

I leave, having no clue if I just blew up my future with the Renegades.