Moth to a Flame

14. CHAPTER FOURTEEN

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Regan

“Little girl like you.” Landon bites my neck, and I scream louder into his palm. “Back here. Alone. It’s like you’re…”

He sucks in a breath. I hold mine.

“Innocent.” His teeth are daggers. His palms burn my skin. “Yet begging to be defiled.”

My first instinct is to fight him.

Landon. Landon. Landon. That’s him. Remember that.

This is my rape fantasy coming to life. The free use he talked about. What he prepared me for. He’s going to be violent and assault me.

With my consent.

I remember our conversation. I said yes. Vehemently.

Unfortunately, my past makes it so my head is having a hard time catching up.

That’s why my hand flies to my hip. Why my index finger curls around the trigger of my Ruger. Why I pull it out of my leggings.

“Fuck. That’s hot.” Landon rips Jigsaw out of my grip and slides it on the butcher. He doesn’t slam it. Doesn’t make noise that’ll alert the women in the other room. I scream into his palm in terror again. “Would you look at that. I got myself a fighter.”

His muscles strain, caging me in when he hauls me out of the kitchen. He manhandles me out of Teresa’s home and into her backyard.

To where he’s going to rape me.

Dark night welcomes us into its arms. Soft wind whispers against my heated skin.

There’s nothing soft about Landon’s teeth and how he sucks my neck. Marking me. Hurting me.

In a good way.

In a scary way.

We’re truly alone.

The curtains on the neighbors’ windows facing into Teresa’s backyard are drawn low. She explained it to me before, how none of them is a fan of her snakes.

My friends are in the other room, inside the house, discussing an obsessive necrophiliac who killed his woman.

And I’m out here.

About to be consensually raped by my boyfriend.

“We’re going to have a safe sign and a safeword, you and I,” he grits out, the words coming out at rapid speed so—I think—he won’t ruin the moment. “Pinch me twice, fast, and I’ll stop. Say snake and it’s over. Nod if you hear me.”

Having him say these things takes the edge off the fear. I’m not as choked as I was a second ago. Far less horrified by what’s about to happen here.

It doesn’t change the fact that he’s holding me too tight. That I can’t get away.

You trust him .

I do.

So while tears leak from the corners of my eyes, I nod. Landon’s soft hair tickles my soaked cheek. He’s so close.

“As I said.” We’re back to the scene. He slides a hand down my cleavage, squeezing my breast. Twisting it. Making me whimper. “A slut begging to get fucked. That’s what you are. You should be thanking me for giving it to you.”

He spins us and presses me to the wall, the wood panels hard against my cheek. I put my entire heart and soul into stepping on his boot, into biting his palm.

The violent way I thrash in his grip is everything the fifteen-year-old me wished she could’ve done and couldn’t. I wanted that monster off me. I was also focused on survival.

Through the pain and torture and humiliation. Through tears and the feel of something tearing inside me. With a knife pressed to my throat and a man twice my size raping me, I didn’t resist.

Tonight, I fight back. This unhinged man who grinds his cock to my ass and calls me a slut will not kill me.

Sometime in the future, yeah, he might.

Today isn’t it.

“Except you’re not thanking me, are you?” he growls when I twist my head and sink my teeth into his middle finger. He pulls me away from the wall. “No, you aren’t.”

Slam and the front of my body hits the wall a second time with so much force that I can’t help it. I scream, “Stop.”

It comes out as, “Mmm!”

“Whatever it is, I don’t give a fuck.” His tongue is hot on my cheek as he laps at my tears. “Why even bother resisting when you’re this desperate? When it’s this obvious”—he pinches my nipple and I cry harder—“that you’re dying for my fat cock to split you in half?”

I twist my arm somehow, reaching and grabbing his hard cock. Squeezing as though I’m going to break it. That only lands me another slam against the wall. Landon shoves my hand back to the side of my body.

“Ungrateful brat.” It’s insane, to hear love filtering through such demeaning words. Insane, not impossible. “You’re lucky I’m in a generous mood today.”

His fingers slide down my belly between me and the wall. They find the button of my jeans, slipping it out of the loop. Easily.

So much for making him work for it.

“You have one chance. One shot at making this less of a nightmare for you.” My zipper goes down. “Tell me I’ve been such a dirty slut, going to the kitchen by myself. Tempting you by simply fucking existing. I need to be punished. ”

Heat. So much of it. It pools between my thighs. Hardens my nipples. The butterflies in my stomach feel a lot like small animals with sharp canines. Dark and twisted. Just like me.

Like us.

And yet.

I’m not giving in. I’m never giving in ever again.

He lifts his hand from my stomach, makes a fist of my hair, and pulls. Our eyes meet in the darkness of the night. Slowly, he lowers his hand from my mouth to my chin.

“Get the fuck off me,” I snarl, starting quiet.

“If you’re trying to piss me off, you’re doing a great fucking job.” His throat works. Nostrils flaring.

No, I don’t try to piss him off. I’m fighting. I open my mouth and—

I understand what he did with his throat now. He’s been gathering saliva, and he spits it into my mouth, covering it with his hand.

“Such a fucking liar.”

My jeans and underwear are shoved down my thighs. My cheeks are full, my eyes are huge. I can’t look away from him. Even when my hair isn’t in his grip anymore, my gaze is fixated on my psycho boyfriend’s eyes. On his murderous expression.

On the love that shines through him.

While I feel that too—this maddening, mind-numbing love—I’m terrified. He’s a beast. A force of nature.

Mine.

He’s mine.

“Swallow,” he hisses, as I hear the sound of his zipper. “Swallow like the slut you are.”

I’m not done gulping it down my throat when his bare cock presses to my ass. Crippling fear washes over me. It’s not a wave lapping at the shore.

It’s a tsunami threatening to swallow me whole.

The sheer terror of it paralyzes me.

“You’re going to take it. Going to take me .” Landon’s there, reminding me it’s him. He yanks my hips back and lines himself to my pussy. “Fuck, I can already feel how tight you are. How your pretty little pussy sucks my cock in.”

More tears run down my cheeks and on his palm. Except I’m not afraid anymore. I’m not stuck in a nightmare from a decade ago.

He promised he’d take away my worst nightmares, and he’s doing it.

Like no one else could. Like no one else ever will.

“Ah, yes.” His lips are on my temple. He nudges the tip of his cock inside of me. He’s already so big that I gasp. That I moan.

“If you can’t admit to how much you want this…”

His hips tilt and another inch sinks inside me. He hasn’t gone even halfway in and he stretches me so much it hurts.

“Your soaked cunt will.”

In one shove, Landon’s seated all the way inside, straightening so he can look into my eyes.

“God, I…”

I see his act slipping. His mask sliding off. His jaw tics, his eyes turning molten. My screams are silenced as I stare at him in wonder.

Any minute now, Rosemary or one of my friends could come out here searching for me. They could even attack this man who’s balls deep inside me. Who has his hand on my mouth and looms over me like a rapist would.

I don’t care. I don’t care. I do not care.

This isn’t how I imagined my first time would be. My real first time, not the one that was robbed from me.

But Landon knows what I need better than I do.

I whimper into his palm, pushing my hips back toward him.

Any trace of emotion is wiped from his face. “Shut up.”

He throws himself into it. Into fucking me like the beast he is. Dragging his cock out of my pussy. Slamming it into me over and over again.

I’m being taken. Owned. Marked from the inside out.

My past is shredded. It’s as dead as the girl I once was. There’s only this big, vicious man who does obscene things to my body. Who claims me so thoroughly whether I want it or not.

And fuck, this…This is everything I could’ve dreamed of when I cried myself to sleep. When I wished someone would get me out of my own head. Heal me.

Landon is doing it.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard.” His fingers are on my clit, sending a jolt of pleasure through me. “Going to make you come on my cock. I’m out here, in the street, assaulting you, and you’ll come for me. It’s going to mess with your head, but you’ll get off. You’ll come for this man that you hate.”

I need to prolong this moment. I ache for it to last. For the pain and humiliation of being brutalized and pleasured to never end.

I fail.

My vision blurs as my orgasm pummels into me. I moan and weep and writhe beneath him, and this wrathful God doesn’t stop. Doesn’t let up while he’s beating my pussy with his cock, or rubbing me until pleasure becomes pain.

It’s too much. Stop. My eyes mirror my begging, but he doesn’t. He stretches out my orgasm, making me cry into his palm.

“You won’t think about any other man ever again.” His white teeth shine in the moonlight as he bares them to me. As he keeps thrusting into me. “You’ll always remember this moment. These minutes that I ruined you. I’ll be the air you breathe. I’ll scare your precious soul. I’ll be everywhere, Regan. Fuck . Everywhere. Not him. Me.”

A surge of heat shoots into me. Landon’s eyes are narrowed, and he grunts words like fuck, yes, damn it, Regan, you feel so good, such a good slut for me .

I bask in his voice. Soak in his distorted praise. Ingraining these long seconds that he pulses inside me into memory.

It doesn’t last, though. Nothing good ever does.

Not in my world.

“Little lamb. You feel this?” He doesn’t sound like a rapist anymore. Doesn’t act like one with his lips on my temple. With his hands sliding down my mouth to my throat then my stomach. He pulls me closer to him, rocking into me, kissing me. “I’m putting babies inside you. Righting every wrong that’s ever happened to you. Like this. You’re filled with me, and soon, this beautiful stomach”—he clenches his fingers on me for emphasis, sucking in air—“will be swollen with our babies. I love you. I fucking love you.”

He loves me.

And he’s still very much determined to get me pregnant. Even though I…

I haven’t told him. He can’t know.

He’ll have to know.

“Regan?”

Thank the universe for my sister. Another second of this breeding talk and I would’ve cried in pain. It would’ve ruined everything. Would’ve turned this night from a dream to a nightmare.

A real nightmare.

“Come on, love.” Landon’s efficient, pulling out of me and fixing the both of us in a hurry. I gaze up at him as he cups my cheeks, his gorgeous platinum hair seeming white in the moonlight. “Go back to your group. I’ll be waiting outside to drive you two home.”

“Regan, you’re freaking me out.” The back door creaks, and before Landon can retreat into the night, Rosemary emerges out of the house. “Oh, hi, Landon. Didn’t hear you back there.”

“Hello, Rosemary.” He tucks me to his side, his warmth engulfing me. Helping me forget.

“Regan didn’t say you’d be visiting us. Which I’m super happy for, by the way. Drop in anytime.” She grins, and my face flushes, hot and embarrassed at being caught.

Better than wallowing in self-pity.

“I was in the neighborhood. Missed my girlfriend.” The way he says it with so much confidence melts my heart.

He said it. Actually said it. I wasn’t wrong to assume that we were together.

Again. Say it again.

I twist my head up to him at the same time Rosemary gasps.

He flicks his gaze to my sister before returning it to me. “Don’t act or look so surprised. We’re not married yet. Until then, you’re my girlfriend.”

A shriek comes from behind the door.

“Deidra!” Teresa whisper-shouts.

“They didn’t hear us, relax.”

“We did.” That’s Landon. I would’ve said something, except it’s kind of hard to breathe, let alone speak.

“Crap,” Deidra murmurs as the two of them filter out of the house.

“Hi, there. I’m Teresa.” She’s the first to break the silence, standing tall as she waves at us. “Nice to meet you, Regan’s boyfriend.”

“Landon.” I’m proud to say his name. I could repeat it for eternity.

“Deidra.” The blonde waves, catching my eye and giving me a thumbs up while Teresa introduces herself.

“Nice to meet you two.” He’s calm, a total contradiction to the man he was a minute ago. Puts my friends at ease. I thought my heart couldn’t melt anymore.

It does. There’s nothing left of it but a puddle.

Teresa’s smile widens. “Have you been formally introduced to my snakes?”

“I don’t think I have.” He squeezes me, kissing the top of my head. “It’s not Regan’s fault. I’ve missed her too much to let her talk.”

Deidra and Rosemary have escalated into hopping on their toes. Me…I’m not sure I’m breathing.

“This is Billy.” Teresa gestures to the farthest cage. The boa constrictor, as if hearing her, stirs and slithers on the grass. “This stud is Stu. Say hi, kids.”

Stu lifts his head, looks up at us, and settles back to his resting spot.

Landon’s quiet for a beat. Squints his dark eyes at me before his expression clears.

“Right. Horror book club. Of course you’d name them after the characters from Scream .” He grins at this wonderful madness that I call my world. “Did I miss out on all of the Necro and His Girl discussion?”

Everyone, including me, stares at him in confusion. In wonder.

“I have some thoughts on the book.”

“You do?” My eyebrows shoot up so high, they’re going to fly out of my forehead. “You read it?”

“Yes.” He licks his top lip, and it’s sexy.

As sexy as it is that he remembered the title of the book of the month and read it. I almost forget that his cum is leaking down my thighs and that I’m sore. Except I don’t. I could never not feel him between my legs ever again.

“I had a long drive today, and I was curious.” He tucks a strand of my hair behind my ear. It’s like we’re the only two people in the entire world. “Everything about you is interesting, Regan. It always is. So I downloaded the audio and listened to it on the way.”

“Let’s go home,” I murmur. He could be a part of our book club any other day. Tonight, I need him in my bed. I need him to be mine.

“We will, love. Soon.” When he looks around at my book club girls and me, I’m amazed by how serious he is. How much he cares. “I’ve had a few minutes to consider the ending before I got here. At first, I figured what Brawn did was his gift to Frida.”

“Regan said the same thing.” Rosemary winks at me.

“Then.” Landon’s fingers brand my waist with his tight grip. “I realized he wasn’t giving her anything. She was the one who gave him her body. She saw him . She knew what he was like. She was the one who chose to die for him.”

Landon’s dark eyes burrow deep into my soul, his gaze turning meaningful, and my heart races. My entire being is a ball of light as I anticipate his next words.

“All he did was accept that gift.”

He whisks me into his arms while Rosemary yells for us to wait for her, that she needs to go get our purses.

“Landon.” I wrap my arms around his neck, responding to what he told me minutes ago. “I love you too.”

A smirk curls his lips up. “I know.”