Moving On

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‘NORMANDY,’ JOAN SAID, CUTTING A SLICE OF TEA brack. ‘They’re going to travel around the war cemeteries.’

Ellen frowned. ‘The war cemeteries? I didn’t think Mam would have any interest in that.’

‘She doesn’t, but Kevin does.’

‘Who’s Kevin?’

‘The man she’s going with, of course,’ Joan replied, as casually as if Ellen had just asked her the time. ‘Do you want butter on that?’

‘She’s going to France with a man? But she’s still married.’

Joan smiled. She actually smiled as she set down the butter dish. ‘Are you serious?’

‘What’s so funny? She is still married, isn’t she? Or did they get a separation without anyone bothering to tell me?’

‘Of course not. They’re still married, but you don’t imagine Dad is going to appear over the horizon anytime soon, do you?’

For an instant Ellen felt pure rage. ‘Don’t make light of it. It’s not a joke.’

‘I’m not making light of it. I know it’s not funny. I was there, remember? But you have to face facts, Ellen. He went, and he’s not coming back. Do you really expect Mam to stay on her own for the rest of her life?’

‘No. Yes. I don’t know.’ It hadn’t for a second occurred to Ellen that their mother might be involved with another man. She had to be in some kind of relationship with him, and Ellen had had no idea. ‘Why didn’t you tell me about him? I’m part of this family too.’

Joan peeled the skin from a banana in strips, dropping them one by one into the bin. ‘To be honest, I didn’t think you’d be all that interested. You hardly ever come home, and when you do you’re in your room reading, or out walking.’

‘I’m still family. How long has it been going on?’

Joan shrugged. ‘A few months, I don’t remember exactly. Some time after Christmas.’ She began chopping the banana into thin slices. ‘Ellen, she’s been on her own for over six years.’

‘How does she know him?’

‘He’s teaching in the school. His brother owns the big garage on the Tipperary Road. To be honest, I think he’s a bit dull, but Mam seems happy enough.’

‘You’ve met him?’

‘He’s come to dinner a few times.’

‘So everyone knows about them.’

‘Well, it’s not a secret, if that’s what you mean. Look, it’s no big deal, Ellen. He’s not attached, and Mam may as well not be. They’re not hurting anyone.’

It wasn’t the point. It wasn’t the point .

‘I know you miss Dad,’ Joan said, ‘but I hope he doesn’t come back. I hope he never shows his face here ever again. Ever . If he came here right this minute I wouldn’t let him in.’

Ellen spread butter on the brack. ‘I’m thinking of going to see Frances tomorrow,’ she said, needing to change the subject. ‘I promised her I’d visit when I was home, and with Mam gone . . . I’m thinking I’ll stay a few days with her.’

Joan arranged the banana discs on another slice of brack. ‘Fine.’

‘You wouldn’t mind?’

‘No. Do what you want.’

And when Ellen brought up the matter of Kevin with Frances, it was to discover that she knew about him too. ‘Let her off, Ellen. She might be lonely. She might just be looking for companionship, and you can’t deny anyone that.’

Ellen made no response. They’d all known, and nobody had told her.

‘You’re not over your father leaving,’ Frances said.

‘I don’t think I’ll ever be over that.’

‘I can understand. It was a terrible thing he did – and I can see you hold your mother responsible, rightly or wrongly.’

Ellen said nothing.

‘But regardless of whose fault it was, life goes on. It’s going on for your mam, and it’s going on for you. Now tell me more about this new job.’

And so Ellen pushed down her resentment, and spoke of the future.