Chapter 16
Sixteen
Eloise
The door to the bedroom I’m staying in opens, and my mom stands in the doorway.
I slide up the bed and lean my back along the headboard. “Hi, Mom.”
“I brought some donuts and bagels. There’s coffee downstairs too.” She sits on the edge of the bed. “How are you?”
I nod, tears welling in my eyes. “Did that really happen?”
She gives me a small smile. “Yeah, sweetie, it did.”
I tip to the side and bury my head in a pillow. “I can’t believe I did it.”
“Technically you didn’t. Can you tell me who this Conor boy is? Sam says he’s some hockey player?”
Oh, my mom, she watches sports about as much as me. “He plays for the Falcons.”
“Okay, but that doesn’t tell me who he is to you.”
She pulls the pillow out from under me, and I sit back up, grabbing it again and hugging it to my chest. “I have no idea why he came yesterday, but I met him the night of my bachelorette party. Nothing happened between us, not like that. He knew I was getting married.”
“Something must have happened if he thought you might pick him.”
I shrug and roll my eyes. “I liked him. Being with him felt comfortable, and it seemed like maybe we shared a connection. But I mean, it was one night.”
She remains quiet.
“And I don’t know. It was a nice night.” I shrug again. Still she doesn’t say anything, so I continue to fill the silence. “And he’s a good listener.”
Nothing.
“And he took me stargazing because he saw this list I made of things I wanted to do before I was thirty, and he wanted to help me cross something off.”
“Nice.” She smiles at me.
“He’s got a sweet tooth.”
Back to her silence.
“He told me not to settle. That I shouldn’t come second.”
My mom sighs. “Yesterday I hated him, but today I kind of like him. He’s right. But…”
“I know. I’m not moving on from Tristan to him. I need to clear that up and figure some things out for myself.” That’s about the only thing I decided last night as we were ripping apart the beautiful dress Kyleigh made.
My mom takes my hand. “Was it a relief when he stopped the wedding?”
I nod, not wanting to tell her that I should have done it long before it got to that point. “I’m sorry, Mom.”
She shakes her head. “Don’t be. I only want you to be happy. I’ll go through all the storms and be by your side as long as you come out happier. That’s a mom’s promise.”
She opens her arms, and I fall into her embrace. “I think I got a little caught up, and I didn’t want to hurt anyone. All that money and planning. There was so much pressure.”
Her hands run down my back. “I know, sweetie. It was a hard decision to make, but can we be honest and admit that your dad had a little bit to do with why you stayed for so long?”
She draws back, and I sit up. “I just… he really liked Tristan. Said we were a perfect fit. I kind of wanted to…”
“Please him?”
I nod.
Her hands land on my shoulders. “Now is time for a restart. Of course, this aftermath won’t be fun, but after it’s all said and done, you have a great opportunity to decide what your future looks like. No one can tell you what makes you happy but you. So, take control of it and to hell with everyone else’s opinions.”
“I know.”
A knock lands on the door, and Jade peeks her head in. “Hey, I’m sorry to interrupt and no rush, but I just wanted to warn you before you came downstairs. The boys are back… Conor is with them, and he really wants to talk to you.”
I nod. “Thanks. I’ll be down in a minute.”
She shuts the door, and my mom stands. “I better hurry. Sam’s meeting him before me.” We both laugh, but she sobers up fast. “You’re okay though? No regrets or anything?”
“I just wish I would’ve stopped it before the wedding.” I shrug.
“It doesn’t matter when. Even if you’d married him and decided afterward, it would have been okay.”
“I know.”
“Okay.” She pats my leg. “I’ll see you downstairs.” She turns but stops and circles back around. “Hey, there is one problem, and I feel horrible about this. But remember how Sam and I decided to do the renovations at our place?”
My forehead wrinkles. “Yeah.”
“The contractor said it will go faster if we move out for a month or two, so we rented a one-bedroom apartment starting next week. You’re of course welcome to the couch… oh, you know what, we’ll just delay them. You should be home until you can find a new place to rent.”
I force a smile. “No, Mom. You and Sam continue with your plans.”
“We can talk about it later. Come and eat.” She smiles and walks out the door.
I flip the blankets over me and swing my legs out of bed. Here goes nothing.
I dress and throw my hair in a ponytail. A shower never felt as good as it did last night, although I had to shampoo three times to get all the product out of my hair.
Bodhi must be back home because I hear his footsteps running downstairs.
I go down and find a kid’s movie on, but no one in the room, so I venture farther down the hall, following the voices into the kitchen. Jade has Bodhi on the island, the two of them preparing something. I smell something baking in the oven. Henry is pouring a coffee for either himself or someone else, but he stares lovingly at Jade and Bodhi.
Kyleigh, Conor, Tweetie, and Rowan all sit around the table, my mom and Sam with them, drinking coffee and talking. Sam gets up when he sees me enter, and I’m thankful that Conor’s back is to me. My stomach rumbles with nerves over how I’ll feel when I see him face-to-face again.
“Hey, you.” Sam pulls me into a hug and whispers in my ear, “I’m proud of you. It’s not easy to do what you did.”
“Thanks, Sam.” I hug him harder, thankful to have him in my life, as tears sting my eyes.
“Always.”
We part, and the table turns quiet, everyone taking little glimpses of me as if I’m a guard dog they can’t stop watching to make sure I don’t attack.
“Eloise, would you like some coffee?” Jade asks.
“Let me pour you a cup.” Henry is quick to grab a mug and the pot of coffee.
“There are donuts and bagels,” Jade says.
“Hi, Eloise.” Bodhi waves at me. “We’re making potato chip cookies. Jade said they’re your favorite.” He holds up a bag of potato chips. “I get to crumble them.”
“Thank you. I do love a sweet-and-salty mix.” I meet Jade’s gaze, and we smile at one another.
“I can’t promise anything. It’s my first attempt at them.” She holds up her phone because she must be following a recipe.
“Here you go.” Henry holds a coffee mug out for me.
“Thanks, Henry.”
“You’re welcome.”
I sip the coffee, feeling all eyes on me. A chair screeches on the floor, and in my peripheral vision, I see a large body coming toward me.
This is it. Conor’s going to ask me to go and talk. Of course I’ll accept, but what is he going to say? Does he feel obligated to date me or something now? Does he regret what he did yesterday? Oh god, this is such a disaster.
“I haven’t had the pleasure yet. I’m Tweetie.” A large hand lands in front of me.
I slide my hand in his. His blond hair is chin-length and wavy. The night of my bachelorette, I never saw him up close, but I can see why he had a woman on either side of him.
“Hi. Eloise. The runaway bride.”
He laughs and squeezes my hand. “I like you. Got to laugh at yourself.” He winks and steps away. “Okay, Conor, make your move.”
Another chair screeches, and I glance over to see Conor standing and scowling at his friend and teammate. “I didn’t realize we’re in the seventh grade.”
Just the sound of his voice makes my stomach flip. Especially as I concentrate on sipping my coffee as if he’s not walking over to me.
His feet come into view, sneakers matched with jeans. “Hey.”
“Hi.” I look up and realize his eyes are the same as Kyleigh’s. Now I know where the feeling of familiarity came from the night we met.
“Can we talk?” His voice is low, as if that will keep everyone from eavesdropping.
“Yeah.”
“Front porch?”
“Sure.”
He holds out his arm, waiting for me to lead the way.
“Don’t take too long. The cookies are almost done!” Bodhi calls behind us.
“We’ll be back,” Conor says, reaching in front of me to grab the door handle and open the door for me.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
I walk down the steps and sit on the third one down. Jade and Henry have rented a typical house in Chicago. Narrow but deep with three levels.
Conor sits one step down from me and leans his back against the iron railing.
It’s a sunny day, hot since it’s August, but the light breeze makes it comfortable.
“I’m really sorry, Eloise,” he says. “I was drunk and listened to the advice of three rookies who were only thinking about me and not how that stunt I pulled would affect you. Actually, I can’t blame them. It’s all on me. I’m the asshole in this situation.”
I wrap my arms around my legs and stare at the street. The neighborhood is so similar to the one I grew up in. One I thought, once upon a time, I’d raise my kids in. But had I married Tristan, I would’ve been in a more affluent area with large yards and sprawling streets void of parked cars most days.
“Is that it? You were drunk?”
Conor stretches one leg out along the stair. Nothing in his body language says he’s anxious or nervous, whereas I feel like a kinked chain necklace. “I had a lot to drink, but I think it only aided in me acting on the thoughts that had been running though my head most of the week.”
“I was about to call it off right before you came in.” My confession is one I wasn’t sure I wanted to share with him. I don’t want to give him false hope.
He tips his head toward mine, and his jaw hangs open. “Really?”
“Yeah. I feel like it took forever for me to make that decision, but there was a lot of pressure.”
He holds up his hand. “You don’t have to justify your reasoning. It takes a lot of courage to leave.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure I thought I ever would do it, but this weight I’ve been carrying around is finally off me.”
He touches my knee. “I’m glad.”
“But, Conor, I can’t be with you right now. I need to figure myself out. You might be surprised to find out what a mess I am. I allowed Tristan to feel as if I was helpless and needed him. After my dad died, he just kind of took over. So, although I did feel our chemistry that night, and I thought about you all week, I can’t start something right now. I’m really sorry.”
He scootches up onto the step beside me, his strong thigh and shoulder touching mine. God, my body wants me to say screw it and tell him to make me forget all the shit in my head.
“I get it, and you don’t have to apologize. Let me help you though. I feel as if I got you into this mess.”
I shake my head. “I just need to figure a lot of stuff out. I’ve been living off my trust from my dad for a while because Tristan didn’t want me to work. Well, his mom had these plans for me sitting on charity boards or something. And I moved out of my apartment to move in with Tristan. My mom and Sam are renovating and moving into a one-bedroom for a while.” I lower my head into my hands. “And here I go again, complaining about my life. I promise I’m not one of those Debbie Downer types. You just keep finding me at the wrong times.”
He wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me into his side. And I allow him—for the selfish reason that it feels nice. “I can’t help you with all those problems, but I can help you with one. Move in with me.”
He’s got to be kidding, but when I draw back, I see that he’s stone-cold serious.