Chapter Twenty One #4
“A boy ought to know his true antecedents,” Elizabeth replied.
“George and Emily will always know that they had another father, a father who had a mix of good and bad traits, but sadly the bad traits predominated. To do anything else would be lying. Wickham liked to lie, and he would lie about small things more often than about great ones. What was worse, he often came to believe his own dishonest words. I shall always tell my children the truth, and deal with what consequences may come—I do not fear that this will undercut the affection that has grown between Darcy and the children. The whole may seem odd to them when they are older, but there is nothing that we could say now that would prevent that.”
Both women were quiet for a little. They started another circuit of the yard.
Charlotte had a thoughtful frown. “Do you mean to invite Mary or Jane to go to Derbyshire with you? Mrs. Bennet has been most certain that she could convince you to do so—though your father always said that he did not expect it.”
Elizabeth involuntarily glanced towards where Georgiana played with the children, and when her eyes returned to the path, Charlotte exclaimed with half a laugh, “Ha, I guessed right!”
“What?”
“I believe that there is a compelling reason for why you would not wish to have a stranger amongst your family circle during the next, perhaps eight months?”
Elizabeth sharply looked at Charlotte.
Her friend smiled. “It is not a thing that can be kept a secret easily. Everyone will suspect it—at least everyone who is not convinced that your husband murdered your first husband so that he could marry you.”
“In these stories am I chiefly blamed as the one who instigated the whole,” Elizabeth asked, “or am I seen in the light of a fortunate victim?”
“I like that turn of phrase, ‘a fortunate victim’—someone ought to give that name to a novel. It depends on the character of the person telling the story, of course. But you certainly receive far more criticism than your husband.”
Elizabeth laughed heartily. “Such is the way of the world.” She then lowered her voice and said to Charlotte, “What you suspect is still only a matter of suspicion to us, but by now an exceedingly likely suspicion. And it is a matter that Darcy thinks his whole family should be informed about and allowed to give their opinions on the matter before the rest of the world knows. Though, I am happy to say that Darcy will not treat the opinions of anyone but his cousin, who shares the guardianship with him, as being of great moment.”
“You think that is a happy matter?”
“I distrust the attitudes of anyone who is an earl, or closely connected to one, by instinct. Any such persons must prove their good sense to me before I will say anything nice about them.”
This made Charlotte laugh. “Perhaps,” she suggested, “Mr. Darcy married you so that you might raise Miss Darcy’s child as your own?”
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “And yet another theory. Everyone has a theory about why Mr. Darcy married me—and not one matches the simple set of words with which he explained himself. That is not his intention; I assure you, it would be deeply contrary to his character. Even out of love for his sister, I cannot imagine him agreeing to engage in the most intimate sort of deception, and to continue it for a period of decades. Further, were it his intention, he was deeply mistaken in his choice of bride, for I would not ever participate in such a scheme. Dishonesty of that sort tends to bad outcomes. Such things are found out.”
Shortly after that their conversation was interrupted by the arrival of Mr. Bingley. As soon as Bingley entered the drawing room, it was clear that he was struck with Jane’s beauty.
The two of them talked together for twenty minutes before Darcy reminded Bingley that they were to go over to Netherfield to see the place.
Elizabeth could tell that her husband did not wish to have them make the estate agent wait for long after the appointed time for their visit at Netherfield.
Elizabeth walked with them both out to the carriage, and Bingley exclaimed to them before climbing in, “A shocking pretty girl, your sister. Mrs. Darcy, it is clear the loveliness runs in the family.”
Though she did not wish to participate in any schemes of matchmaking, such as her mother would expect all right-thinking persons to participate in, Elizabeth did praise Jane’s kindness and sweetness of temperament.
That was simply giving Bingley true information that seemed to be of interest to him.
When they came back Darcy had a rather bemused expression as Bingley proclaimed to them all that he had not even permitted Mr. Morris to show him more than the gallery and dining room before he’d declared that he would take the place—so impressed had he been by the general aspect of the estate as he approached.
Mrs. Bennet was delighted by this, and had Mr. Bingley promise to dine with them for a private family dinner immediately after he was settled in.
By the time the guests that Mrs. Bennet had invited arrived, it had already been settled that Bingley and Jane were engaged for the first dances at an assembly ball to be held in three weeks’ time.
That evening Elizabeth and Darcy slept in the same room together again. It was the first time since their wedding night that they shared a bed.
Mr. Bingley was staying this evening and the next at Longbourn, and there were not enough rooms that everyone could be accommodated easily if Elizabeth and Darcy took separate rooms.
A voice said in her head: Seduce him.
Except, it would simply be impossible to try doing that now. She was keenly aware that the wall of this room—her childhood bedroom—was also the wall of Papa’s bedroom.
She would not lay with Darcy for the first time while constantly frightened that her father could hear every moan and creak of the bed.
She curled up against him and murmured, “We will take care of Georgiana, will we not, no matter what happens with her?”
“Certainly,” Darcy said. “You know that we will.”
“And if the children someday are in a like situation, we will love them still? I could not bear it if we would not.”
“We will, though we shall do our best to raise them to be moral and upright in all their dealings.”
“We will, but one never can be confident in how a child will turn out. Emily especially, there is always more fear that a girl will be hurt. But boys can turn out far worse. Boys can become like Mr. Wickham.”
“It is not impossible,” Darcy said slowly, his arm holding Elizabeth tightly against him in a way that she thought indicated that he found great pleasure from the closeness, “for a woman to be an awful person.”
Elizabeth giggled. “Thank you for that piece of comfort.”
“I do not think—George has made me consider this even more than before, seeing ways that he is like how Wickham was. Perhaps by the time he married you there was little hope for him. I believe that by the time he had entered university his character was fixed, but I firmly believe that had he had a more consistent mode of education, such as we together will give George and Emily, that he would never have become what he was.”
“I think anyone can easily enough become addicted to cards,” Elizabeth said.
“Yes, but that is only a small part of the matter—to be a gambler causes great difficulties alone, as did his other immoral tendencies, but they alone are hardly sufficient to have made him what he was in the end, a man who abandoned his children and attempted to defraud the daughter of his patron. My father was a friend of Charles Fox, and he often told me of that man’s defects of character—he would gamble with horrifying sums. But those defects did not prevent him from being one of the greatest politicians of the last century—even his too-kind view of France reflected his principles. ”
Elizabeth smiled into the dark. “My dear, my dear, I am comforted by that consideration, but I hope that my son shall not have such significant defects, and I think that their lack is unlikely to prevent him from developing what great virtues he might.”
They laid there in the dark for several minutes. Elizabeth’s mind refused to settle, and from Mr. Darcy’s breathing she thought he was still awake.
“Tell me more about Pemberley, things you have not yet said,” Elizabeth asked.
“I will, though I beg you to forgive me if I have not a perfect memory of what stories we have already shared, and repeat myself.” And so, Darcy started to talk, and at some point while he described the trout stream, and how well stocked it was, and the way that his favorite fishing spot was lovely and shaded by the trees, she fell asleep.