Chapter 4
4
SAWYER
I was hard. Hard as a rock. And I didn’t want to do anything about it.
It made no sense. Normally, I’d jerk off and be in a deep sleep in a matter of minutes. But tonight, that wouldn’t do.
I let out a grunt and tossed off the covers, which made it impossible to ignore the very obvious boner in my line of sight. I could just go next door and knock. Hailey had a doorbell I could ring. I’d be better off doing that to make sure she heard it.
And then what? When she answered the door, I’d just grab her and kiss her? See where things led?
No, that wouldn’t be right. She seemed like someone who’d want to get to know a man before she slept with him.
I’d have to be patient with her. I’d take my time. As soon as her competition was over, I’d convince her to come back. Or maybe I’d go to where she was. We could get to know each other by phone. Or text. Or carrier pigeon. Whatever method she preferred.
A noise in the living room bolted me upright. Damn it. I knew I should have gotten a dog. A mean one. The kind that would attack an intruder who broke in late at night.
But I’d left my front door unlocked. Yes, I’d done that for a reason. I had this weird fantasy that Hailey would wake up wanting me in the middle of the night and sneak over here. Maybe she’d climb into bed with me and one thing would lead to another and…
That hadn’t happened. Instead, I’d left the door wide open to a burglar. Or maybe even a murderer.
I scanned the room for anything I could use as a weapon. I had an ax, but it was out back. There was no way I could get to it.
Finally, I climbed out of bed, deciding my fists would have to serve as weapons. Maybe the burglar would be so shocked that I slept in the nude, he’d run. At the very least, he’d drop whatever weapon he had.
“Sawyer?”
The female voice was not at all what I expected. It stopped me in my tracks. That was the voice of my neighbor. It was the voice that had been going through my mind since I left her place after a delicious dinner, followed by the best damn cookies I’d ever tasted.
“Hailey?” I asked, stopping at the doorway to look out into the main living room, my hand on the doorjamb. “What are you doing here?”
Why had I asked that? It had been my fantasy that she’d show up here, unannounced but always welcome.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she said. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”
I shook my head. “I wasn’t asleep, but hold on. Let me throw on some clothes.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
I’d taken a step back, but once again, her voice stopped me. I was still keeping my lower half back as much as possible to avoid flashing her. Had she just said I didn’t have to get dressed?
That probably meant she was leaving. No need to get dressed. She was just dropping by, and now she’d be on her way.
A long silence followed as I struggled to figure out what to say. I couldn’t step through the doorway, and I certainly couldn’t invite her in, so I was stuck in this awkward position, my dick still hard as a rock.
“Can you come out?” she asked.
She was chewing her lip before she asked the question, and she went back to doing it after. She also seemed to have a hard time looking at me, her gaze moving right and left. It didn’t match the question. If she couldn’t look at me, she surely would want me to put on some clothes.
“I’m naked,” I said, just in case she didn’t know.
She nodded and shifted her gaze to me. “I figured by the way you’re standing.” She added a gesture to that, her gaze lowering to the area where my lower half would be if I’d stepped forward to stand in the doorway.
“You want me to come out naked?” I asked.
It was important to clarify that. If I’d misunderstood, she’d have every right to get offended. But she had every right to be offended already.
Maybe I’d misjudged her. She seemed so sweet and innocent. She’d mentioned she hadn’t dated at all, so I would expect her to be running at the thought of a man walking out naked in front of her.
But just because someone hadn’t dated didn’t mean they hadn’t had sex—or, at the very least, seen a naked male body in person. There was a lot two people could do without officially dating.
“Did you—?” she started that question but didn’t finish it.
I straightened a little, coming dangerously close to showing her what I was packing down there. “Did I what?”
“You know, touch yourself,” she finally said.
Even from here, I could tell she was blushing. She still wore the burgundy sweater and jeans that she’d had on during dinner, and I’d left her cabin a good three hours ago. Had she spent those three hours thinking about coming over here?
“I didn’t,” I said. “And that’s the God’s-honest truth. I wanted to, but…I don’t know. It just seemed like a bad idea.”
I didn’t tell her the rest. The fact that as I’d lain in bed thinking about masturbating, it suddenly seemed pathetic. Here I was in my mid-thirties, jerking it while fantasizing, when I could have had a real woman in my life.
Yes, after meeting Hailey, it all seemed empty. My life seemed empty.
“Oh,” she said.
She sounded disappointed. Did she want me to be over here masturbating while thinking about her?
That was when a lightbulb went off in my head. She wanted to know if she turned me on. My answer gave the impression that the answer to that was a big fat no.
“I’m turned on,” I said. “I could step out there and show you.”
I gripped my erection just to make sure, even though I knew it would be as hard, if not harder, than it had been before I thought a burglar burst in. Normally, that alone would have been enough to wilt me like a dead flower. But this woman had me so turned on, the world could be ending and it probably would have no impact whatsoever.
“Let me see,” she said.
She crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight to one leg, staring at me. I half-expected her to start tapping her foot impatiently. It was almost comical, but I was not in a laughing mood.
I took a deep breath, straightened, and walked right through the doorway, not even stopping once I got outside it. I took a couple more steps toward her, leaving plenty of space before stilling.
“Oh, my God,” she said, uncrossing her arms and covering her mouth with one hand.
Her eyes were on me. They were wide, like she’d just seen something scary. Or something incredible. For my ego’s sake, I’d go with the latter until I heard otherwise.
I gestured toward the bedroom with my thumb. “I’ll go get dressed now if you want.”
She shook her head, still covering her mouth, eyes wide. Finally, she released her hand enough to speak.
“It’s so big,” she said. “Is that normal?”
I opened my mouth, somehow managing to suppress a laugh. If there was one thing a man didn’t want to hear, it was a question like that.
“I don’t know what normal is,” I said. “I don’t exactly go around looking at other men naked. But you can touch it if you want.”
Was that a shitty thing to say? I was turned on just thinking it, but I didn’t want to come across as a creep or anything.
Another silence followed. I tried to read her expression, but she just stood there, nervously chewing her lip. One thing she wasn’t doing was staring at me in horror and bolting from the cabin, never to speak to me again. That had to be a good sign.
“Okay,” she said. “Can we go get in your bed and keep the lights out? I want my first time to be in the dark.”