Chapter 1
JADE
I pour a glass of wine and take it back to the living room with me. Noodle, my mini Aussie, is already curled up on the end of the couch, fast asleep. I smile down at the little black and white fluff ball before sitting on the opposite end as to not disturb him. I take a sip of my wine and set it on the end table before picking up my open laptop and bringing it to my lap. I type a message to…
Jade
Okay, I’m back.
Paul
Oh good, I was afraid I’d lost you.
I smile at his reply. Lately, it feels like he’d be the only one to miss me. My best friend, Pearl, has finally managed to bag her dream guy and settle down. They have the beautiful hand-built house, and I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before they’re married and procreating. I, on the other hand, am still caught up over my high school boyfriend, Memphis Styles, the one who got away… with my virginity and no goodbye. I roll my eyes at how stupid I am.
Jade
Trust me when I say, I’m not going anywhere.
The truth of that statement causes a knot to form in my stomach.
Paul
Except maybe to come out to Argentina to see me one of these days, right?
I know that my relationship with Paul can’t ever go anywhere—nowhere serious, anyway—but it’s nice to dream about. Deep down, I don’t even know if the person I’m talking to is really Paul Frost or if that’s just the made-up name of some lonely seventy-year-old man.
Jade
Well, that’s a given.
I send the message with a smile.
Truthfully, I’d like to let myself believe that Paul is who he says he is. I can picture myself flying across the world the meet up with him. The moment we lock eyes, I’d fall head over heels in love, and he’d be the most perfect guy I could dream up. Everything, from his looks to the way he talks, would be what dreams are made of. The likeliness of that situation is so far-fetched, it’s sometimes even hard for me to believe, let alone, the people in my life who still claim that I’m single because internet dating isn’t really a thing.
I guess I’ve always been a dreamer. Well, maybe not always, but since my dream guy up and ran off without so much of a goodbye. The truth of the matter is that this town is small, and everyone knows everyone. The only newcomers are tourists who are only looking for a vacation romance. Other than that, it’s the same group of people it’s always been. It’s unbelievable that I managed to fall in love once in this town. I’m not holding my breath for a second time.
Paul
I can’t wait until I’ll actually be able to see you, to hold you. I’ve imagined it so many times over these last six months we’ve been talking. I already feel like I’ve known you forever.
Jade
I like to think that we know one another on a deeper level. Sure, we haven’t met yet, but I know your favorite color, your dreams, and what you hope to achieve in life. That’s more than some couples who sleep together every night.
My words aren’t a lie. It’s all true, but I long to feel his hand in mine, to feel how quickly his heart beats against my chest when we kiss for the first time. Like him, I’ve imagined it over and over.
Laughter on the TV gets my attention, and I look up long enough to catch up on the show I’m watching. I watch longer than I intend to, and when I look back at the computer screen, I see the words: Connection lost. Paul has left the chat.
With a huff, I slam the computer closed, and Noodle jumps awake at my side.
“I’m sorry, boy,” I say, rubbing his head when he closes the distance between us. I set the laptop back onto the coffee table and pull Noodle into my lap. I absentmindedly pet him while watching TV and sipping my wine.
“I wish you were the only man I needed, Noodle.”
He looks up at me with his big, crystal-blue eyes and lets out a whimper.
I laugh. “I know, I’m pathetic. Let’s go outside before bed, huh?”
With the magic word, he jumps off my lap and heads for the door. I open it, and he trots out across the lawn to do his business. I sit on the front step, gazing off into the darkness.
My life certainly hasn’t turned out the way I pictured it. Back when I was in high school and head over heels in love with Memphis, I thought I knew how my life would turn out. I saw us getting married the moment we graduated high school. I thought we’d get right to work on building our home and starting a family. He’d work with his dad at his garage, eventually moving up to management and then owner when his father retired.
I saw myself as a stay-at-home mom, taking care of the family and doing some online classes to maybe start up a business of my own. I thought we’d grow old together, watching as our children grew and moved on to bigger and better things.
I shake my head at myself. Who thinks that way when they’re seventeen? That’s how in love with Memphis I was. College was never top priority for me. Neither was moving out of this small town I was born and raised in. I never dreamt of escaping, but apparently, Memphis did, and that’s exactly what he did the moment he graduated high school. He took the only thing I had left to offer, and he ran off with it, shattering my heart into a million tiny pieces.
Noodle is back and pulling me from my thoughts. “You ready to go to bed, boy?”
He doesn’t bark, but I see the little brown spots above his eyes lift up as a reply.
“Okay, let’s go.” I stand up and open the door, watching as he runs inside. I lock the door behind me and then quickly turn off the lights and TV in the living room before heading to my bedroom, where Noodle is already in bed, waiting for me.
I laugh as he tries crawling his way beneath the blankets. I pull down the comforter and slide under it. Noodle nuzzles down in bed, against my side. Even though it’s going on eleven and I have to work in the morning, I’m not sleepy. I grab my phone off the bedside table and pull up Facebook. Like a cruel prank I play on myself, I pull up Memphis’ page and scroll through for any updates.
There’s a picture of him sitting on the beach with a beautiful girl on either side of him. In the background is the water and setting sun. The post reads: Goodbye Florida. See ya next time, old friend.
I wonder where he’s jetting off to now. I don’t have time to focus on that because the look on his face steals the air from my lungs and has my heart doubling its pace. His big green eyes sparkle, the setting sun shining in them. They hold so many memories and feelings. I remember looking into those eyes and feeling like I was the only thing in the world that mattered to him. His lips are tipped upward in the corners, giving him just the hint of a smile. His shapely jaw is covered in a light scruff, not enough to be a beard, but just enough to make him look dangerous and sexy, and his dirty blond hair is cut so short, it’s standing straight up despite the water beaded up on his face and chest. I can still feel his rough, calloused hands on my body when we’d get a little carried away in the back of his fathers garage. I can still taste his lips on mine. I can still smell his scent on this old T-shirt I still wear that used to be his.
If Pearl knew that I still had this shirt, let alone still wear it, I know she’d be planning a bon fire, and it’d be the first thing to get thrown in. I pull the collar of the shirt up over my nose and breathe in deep. It’s been worn and washed many, many times over the years, but that part of my brain that’s still in love with him can still smell him on the thin material. I think back to the day he tossed me this shirt.
We’d been playing around by the pool. We were laughing and joking around as he lunged for me, wrapping his strong arms around me. He pulled me against him to tickle my sides. I jumped away and fell right into the pool. When I broke the surface, I couldn’t even be mad. He was standing there, eyes full of tears from laughing so hard. His smile was breathtaking. He pulled me out of the pool and took me into the house to dry off. He insisted on drying my clothes and gave me this T-shirt to wear while I waited. When my clothes were dry, I refused to give it back. I loved the way the soft fabric felt against my skin. But most of all, I loved being surrounded in his scent.
When he drove me home that night, I matter-of-factly told him the shirt was payback for making me fall in the pool, and he didn’t bother to argue. Instead, he placed his hand under my chin and pulled me closer for a kiss, whispering something about how he liked the way it looked on me.
A sigh escapes my lips when I relive that memory. A place in my chest sends a sharp pain through me, reminding myself of just how broken I really am. No wonder I can’t fall in love with anyone in this town. Deep down, I know that he’s the only one who can put all my broken pieces together, but I’m determined to find a way around it. He’s long gone and doesn’t look to be missing me in the slightest.
I drop the phone back onto my table and turn off the light, sinking down into my bed. Noodle crawls up until I can wrap my arm around him. I pull him to my chest as I lie on my side, dreaming of the day that I get to meet Paul, the only person who’s willing to try and save me from my past.