Chapter 34

Colton

Last night—or rather, early this morning—was a whirlwind of tongues, teeth and unbridled pleasure. I have never felt so content, so truly sated that my bones—my flesh—feel like I’ve been touched by a deity of some sort.

She trusted me with her body, with her pleasure, and I trusted her with mine. It was never even a question, for me. There’s been something about her since the moment my eyes met hers, and I could never have imagined this outcome, but I’m happier than a dog with two tails.

It’s only been an hour or two since we finally called it a night, and even then, we didn’t go far. Ellie’s sleeping soundly in my arms, her legs tangled in mine, face pressed against my chest.

I bury my own face in her hair, soaking in the sounds of the birds chirping softly outside my window, and... the sound of my phone incessantly buzzing.

I lean over Ellie as I reach for where I left my phone on the bedside table—right next to the charging cord I was supposed to attach it to last night. I’m not mad about it, I had other priorities.

My nonchalance disappears and my blood runs cold when the screen reveals fourteen missed calls and a slew of text messages from Wyatt.

Wyatt: Call me .

Wyatt: When you wake up just give me a call.

Wyatt: No one’s dead or anything just pick up when you can.

I’m reading through the dozen other messages when another call comes through, and I answer immediately. I slip my arm out from underneath Ellie’s head, she groans a little but sinks her face further into the sheets as I sit up on the other side of the bed.

“Wyatt, what’s going on?” I ask, trying to keep my voice quiet and as collected as possible. My heart is thundering, and my arm shakes a little as I hold the phone up in front of me.

The screen is black but Wyatt’s face flashes into view as lightning cracks in the sky above him.

“Colt?!” He yells into the phone, it’s an effort to hear him over the lashing rain and rumbling thunder.

“I can hear you, what are you doing outside?!” The calm, collected front is long gone.

“A freak storm,” He shouts, “It rolled in a couple of hours ago, we had no warning. The ranchers are here helping to wrangle some of the livestock but... it’s bad. Fences are down all over the place, and we’ve already come across a few cows that didn’t make it.”

I let out a shaky breath.

“There’s something else...” I’m pacing now, hand gripping the back of my neck as I brace myself for further bad news, “Meemaw slipped and fell earlier in the chaos as the storm was rolling in—don’t panic, she’s fine. Just a little shaken up. She’s at the ER right now and they’ve called to let me know there’s no broken bones, just a nasty-looking bruise.” My heart stops in my chest as another lightning bolt spears the sky and illuminates my younger brother’s face. He looks exhausted, as if he’s aged a few years in the span of a few hours. Rivulets of rain stream down his face and fall from his chin. “She’s going to beat me for even telling you this. I just... I’m sorry for dumping all of this on you, Colt. I’m just not sure if I can handle it all, I’m trying my best—"

“No, no you were right to call me, Wyatt.” I’m floundering for words, all too aware that he’s putting himself in danger to pick up my slack. I force myself to take a deep, grounding breath. “Get out of the storm. The ranch will never be as important as you are to me. Get inside, tell the ranchers to do the same—no exceptions. I’m so sorry, so sorry I’m not there. But I’ll be there soon, I’ll leave today.” I nod as I say the words, even as part of me is torn in half at the prospect of leaving before summer is over.

“Are you sure?” I hear the unmistakable relief in my brother’s voice.

“Absolutely. I’ll be on the next plane out. Give me half a day.”

“Alright, I’ll do that. I’m sorry—that you have to come home to this...”

“I’m not, I’ll see you soon. ”

We both hang up and I’m left standing in front of the window, unsure what to do with my hands as the reality of the situation comes crashing down onto my shoulders.

“Y-you’re leaving?” Ellie’s voice is quiet, a little raspy from sleep. I turn to find her sitting up in the bed, a solemn expression on her face.

I slowly approach the bed, I don’t have time to crawl back into it, to do all the things I’ll regret not doing to her the second I step onto that plane. “I have to go home,” I lift my eyes to hers, “There was a real bad storm, we’ve got missing livestock and... and Meemaw fell,” Ellie lifts a hand to her mouth as her eyes go wide, “She’s fine, just a bruise apparently, things are a little rough. They need me and—”

“You have to go.” She echoes my own words, and a moment of understanding passes between us, from her emerald-green eyes to mine before she throws the covers off of herself and makes her way to my wardrobe. “I’ll help you pack, you need to go and tell Chamberlain.” Her voice is steady, devoid of emotion as she swiftly removes my duffel bag and begins to fold some of my clothing.

“Ellie—” I take a step towards her, but she doesn’t look up from her task.

“You should be able to catch him as he’s taking his breakfast.” She stuffs several pairs of socks into the duffel, “His driver Jonathan should be available to take you to the airport, otherwise we can take Rory’s car—”

“Ellie,” I say firmly, finally drawing her attention away from the duffel, “You know I would have happily spent the rest of the summer here, don’t you? I wish that—”

“Wishing doesn’t help anyone,” She cuts me off and the sad smile on her face is enough to make me want to sob, “This was only ever for the summer, Colton.” She turns her attention back to the wardrobe and reaches for a few t-shirts, “Your family needs you—you have your priorities, and I have mine.” She takes a deep, steadying breath, one of the only indicators that she’s feeling anything at all about this, “You need to go, I’ll see if I can find Jonathan and get the car loaded.”

I take another step towards her, but she glances up at me with a tiny shake of her head before she goes back to packing my bag. I can almost see her building her walls back up, brick by brick, and I’m on the wrong side of them.

I swallow down the mix of hurt, guilt and worry as I pull on a pair of jeans. She hands me a shirt without looking up at me and I pause for a second before accepting it.

It can’t end like this, can it? But what can I say, what can I do to make this any better?

The time it takes me to talk with Lord Chamberlain will have to be enough for me to figure something out, because right now I’ve got nothing.

I make my way to the door, yanking on my boots before I press down on the handle. I turn towards her before I leave, silently begging her to look up at me, to show me something that tells me she hasn’t just completely shut me out.

But she keeps her head down and silently packs my belongings, there’s no emotion on her face as I turn and step into the hallway.

The run over to the main house does nothing to calm the war raging within me. There’s a thick mist of rain falling from the sky and it manages to soak me more thoroughly than a regular downpour would. Every step I take feels like I can’t move fast enough, maybe my body knows that the faster I have this conversation, the faster I’ll be on the plane and without my Ellie.

When did she become my Ellie?

Just as I’m unpacking that devastating revelation, my phone begins to buzz in my back pocket. I stand under the small door awning, trying and failing to protect myself from the blanket of mist as I read the message.

Meemaw: Wyatt just told me that he snitched. Also said that he’s getting himself back inside, I told him you wouldn’t want him out there.

A wave of relief washes over me at the text, and I cuss myself out for not calling Meemaw immediately after hearing of her fall.

Colton: How’s that bruise coming?

Meemaw: I’ll see if I can send a picture, it looks a little like Idaho at the right angle.

Colton: I’ll be back in half a day, you can tell me all about it. Get some sleep, when was the last time you were up at 1am?

Meemaw: You don’t have to do that, we’ll be fine here. Don’t worry yourself with my sleeping habits, boy.

Colton: My mind’s made up. I’ll see you soon.

Meemaw: See if you can’t bring Ellie along, more than enough room here for her.

I pause on the threshold of the back entrance

Of course I want Ellie to come with me. But I don’t want to put her in a difficult position, she gets put in enough of those as is. Asking her if she wants to come with me feels like one of the most selfish things I could do, but the question is on the tip of my tongue—the words on the tips of my fingers as I exit out of Meemaw’s text thread and pull up Ellie’s.

Just one text, throw it out there that she’s welcome to come with me. That she’s free to make whatever decision she wants, but the offer is there if she wants to take it.

“What are you doing here?” Rory’s thick accent sounds from the now open doorway, and I startle at the sound of it, almost dropping my phone. “Shit, sorry.” He says, face full of concern as he notes my own expression. “Everything alright?”

“I need to speak to Chamberlain.” I manage as I slip my phone back into my pocket and run a hand through my damp hair .

He just nods, watching me for a moment before ushering me into the house. He’s gone for a handful of seconds, and I hear him having a hushed conversation with somebody from the other side of a closed door. When he emerges, there’s a short, well-dressed man with him and Rory tells me I can go and wait for Lord Chamberlain in his dining quarters, he’ll be taking his breakfast in there shortly.

I thank Rory before following the shorter man through the labyrinth of hallways in the large home.

I’m led into one of the longest rooms I’ve ever seen in my life. Intricate paintings line the walls, all of them leading my eyes to where one singular place mat sits at the very head of the table.

“Lord Chamberlain will be here shortly, please take a seat.” The short man makes his way to one of the chairs next to what’s clearly Lord Chamberlain’s seat, and pulls it out from the table, gesturing with one hand for me to sit. My hands work awkwardly at my sides as I nod my thanks and sit myself down.

Thankfully, Lord Chamberlain enters the room not even a minute later, his eyes widening in surprise as he sees me.

“Mr. Brooks!” He says with a smile.

I stand from my chair with a nod, “Lord Chamberlain, sir.” He shakes my hand vigorously before ushering me to take my seat once more.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?” He sits himself down, inspecting the morning newspaper through his spectacles while a small team of staff bring in his breakfast.

I open my mouth to begin to explain, but he shoots his head up from his paper, “Will you be dining with me this morning? Louis, please take Mr. Brooks’s order. I’m sure my chef can whip you up something reminiscent of your homeland, if you so wish.” He smiles as the shorter man—Louis—steps forward, hands locked behind his back as he looks at me expectantly.

“Oh, no—thank you, Lord Chamberlain, but I can’t stay for breakfast.” Louis retreats a little to his spot next to the wall. “I—uh, I’m sorry sir, but I have some bad news. I just got word from my brother this morning that a real bad storm blew through the ranch last night, we’ve got some missing livestock and my Meemaw took a spill—she’s alright, but I... I need to go home, sir. I’m so sorry, really, I—”

“Oh, dear.” Lord Chamberlain sets down his newspaper, “That sounds positively dreadful. Well, you’re in luck—the boys flew off last night for an extended holiday in the French Alps. My ex-wife is getting remarried.” His throat works, “On the side of a bloody mountain ... Anyway, they’ll be gone for the rest of the summer, so you were going to be free to do as you pleased for the remainder of your time here.” My mind races with all the ways I could have used that time, all the things Ellie and I might have done together, “You were contracted for the entire summer, so you’ll get paid for the duration even if you do have to leave early. ”

“Sir, that’s very kind but you don’t have to—”

“Ah-ah,” He holds up one of his hands to silence me, “There’ll be none of that, my boys talked both of my ears off about the wonderful time they had with you this summer. You’ve earned every penny. If they’re still in their cowboy phase next summer, you’ll have to come back, we would love to have you.”

“That’s real kind of you sir, your boys are something special—I’ve enjoyed my summer just as much as they have, and I’m so sad to leave, but I’m needed at home.”

“Ah, yes, I can see about an earlier flight, would that be something you’d be interested in?”

“The earliest one you can, please sir. I’m ready to go whenever. I’d book it myself, but—”

“Nonsense, your contract stated that transport would be provided, and that it shall. Louis,” He beckons Louis with one hand before ordering him to make all the necessary travel arrangements.

I stand from the table as Louis hurries out of the room. “Thank you so much, Sir, this has been the job of a lifetime. Truly.” In many more ways than one.

Lord Chamberlain stands from the table and grips my hand with both of his, “I trust we will see your face again soon, Mr. Brooks. Safe travels.” He gives me a curt nod before turning back to his breakfast .

I exit through the same door Louis led me through, and I spend the next five minutes trying and failing not to get lost in the maze of corridors until his head pops out of a random door.

“There you are,” He sounds a little irritated, as if he’s been searching for me, “You’re on the next flight out of Heathrow,” His eyes scan over the papers in his hand. “Whatever you don’t take with you will be shipped back to your residence in,” He leans closer to the paperwork, “Decatur, Texas?” He flicks his eyes to mine in question.

“Yes, sir, that’s right.”

“Perfect,” He flicks through a couple of pages before handing me one from the stack, “Here is your travel itinerary. Your flight leaves in two hours, I believe Jonathan is ready and waiting for you out front.”

I take the paper from his outstretched hand, “Thank you, so much. You’ve been a great help.”

He nods, his hands glued behind his back once more, “The exit is this way, follow me.”

I follow him down a series of hallways that I definitely would not have found on my own before he leads me to the back entrance of the manor.

Rory and Sanya are waiting for me, the concerned expressions on their faces make my chest ache.

As swiftly as he arrived, Louis leaves and it’s just the three of us left in the small utility kitchen .

“It’s not that bad, no one’s dead,” I repeat Wyatt’s earlier words, hoping they’ll be as much a comfort to my friends as they were to me. “Just a bad storm and a clumsy Meemaw, but I have to go. You understand, right?” The question I really want to ask sits in the back of my throat, digging its heels into my tongue as they nod their heads.

Ellie will understand, right?

“We’re going to miss you.” Sanya’s voice is quiet as she wraps me in a warm embrace. Rory doesn’t wait for her to step away before wrapping his arms around us both.

“This has been a summer to remember.” I manage a smile as they both release me, “And y’all better visit, Meemaw will beat my ass if you don’t.”

“I’d hop on that flight with you if I could.” Rory smiles back at me, and I take one last look at them before I turn and head for the door.

The air is still thick with drizzle as I make my way around to the front of the house. I snap a picture of the itinerary in my hand and manage to send it off to the family group chat before my phone dies on me.

The Bentley that drove me here those months ago is sitting where Louis said it would be, and Jonathan is standing next to the back door.

“Pleasure to see you again, sir.” Jonathan bows his head as I approach .

“And you, Jonathan,” I shake his outstretched hand before glancing towards the coach house. “I just have to grab my stuff and say—”

“Oh, that won’t be necessary.” He releases my hand and gestures to the trunk of the car, “Miss Stirling found me a few minutes ago, supplied with your bag—which is already in the back—and advised me that we’ll need to set off as soon as possible, sir.” He angles his head to read some of the details on the now damp travel itinerary, “Oh, yes, we’re already cutting it very close.”

“But my passport, my—”

“Everything is already in the car, sir. Miss Stirling was very thorough.” Jonathan nods before opening the back door of the Bentley.

My heart starts to race, my chest feels uncomfortably tight as I glance towards the coach house once more. I let my eyes trail upwards, towards my bedroom window and my breath catches in my throat as they lock onto Ellie.

Her golden hair is unbound and she’s wearing one of her black long-sleeved tops. She packed my bags, made sure I had everything I needed so I could make a speedy getaway, but doesn’t want to say goodbye to me?

I take a step towards the coach house, halting as she shakes her head at me, a sad smile on her face.

I try to swallow the pain, to work through the ache in my chest as she raises a hand and waves to me.

Is this really what she wants? For me to leave without telling her how I feel, without holding her close to my body and making sure she knows just how much I care about her?

Maybe I don’t deserve a goodbye, maybe it was selfish of me to even let things get this far. I knew this day would come, but here we are, two sides of a coin being ripped in different directions.

Maybe this will make it easier on both of us—but it sure doesn’t feel easy right now.

My breaths come to me in short, shallow heaves as my mind races. I try not to question her feelings, try not to come up with scenarios where I wholly overestimated how she feels about me.

She drops her hand, her palm falling away from the windowpane as she takes a step backwards. My heart fractures into tiny, delicate pieces, and time seems to move at a snail’s pace as she turns from the window and walks out of sight.

“Did you forget something, sir?” Jonathan prompts, and I realize that both of us are just standing outside the car in the soaking drizzle.

I find myself unable to voice the words, my mouth opens but nothing comes out, so I settle on a slow shake of my head as I tear my eyes away from the now-empty window.

And even though every bone and muscle in my body are telling me to run into that coach house, I duck my head and force myself into the back of the car.

I only have two things in this moment; a hollow chest and a plane to catch.

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