My Favorite Secret (Playing Favorites #2)

1. Harper

CHAPTER ONE

HARPER

The first time I notice something strange about my friendship with the two oldest Blackwood brothers is when a tiny piece of glass gets stuck in my palm. Tyler uses his mouth to suck the glass out even though I’m bleeding, and Felix asks him what the blood tastes like.

Both Tyler and I stare at Felix, confused by his question. Felix isn’t joking. He almost looks… jealous.

Why would Felix be jealous his younger brother had to use such gross methods to clean the glass from my wound?

Why do I secretly think it’s not gross at all?

The thought is weird and I won’t dare speak it aloud.

Tyler doesn’t answer the question, wiping his mouth clean while focusing on my hands. “I think I removed all the glass. I’m sorry again for bumping into you, Harp. We shouldn’t have been playing ball inside the apartment.”

“It’s okay.” I hold on to my tears, not wanting to cry in front of the boys.

I don’t want Tyler and Felix feeling guilty over this accident, not when it was my fault.

I’d been holding a vase of flowers I planned to give Mom for her birthday.

When Tyler bumped into me, the vase slipped and shattered all over the marble floor in the living room of my apartment.

Fearing the boys would get in trouble, I tried to hide the mess by quickly cleaning up broken glass with my bare hands, slicing each palm in the process.

Blood starts to pool in my hands again. Tyler pulls his shirt over his head and wraps my two hands in it. He sits me on the couch, careful not to get blood on the white cushions, and kneels in front of me.

“This should stop the bleeding,” Tyler says while swiping his dark hair back from his face. “How bad is the pain? Should I get your mom?”

“No,” I say quickly.

My hands are throbbing. Mom would take care of me and make the pain go away, but then she would be upset with Tyler and Felix for being rough inside the apartment.

Their father is letting them stay with us for the summer.

They’re mine for three months and I can’t risk them being sent home for bad behavior.

I’ll miss them too much. I’m lonely every time they leave after visiting.

Our mothers were best friends until Mrs. Blackwood passed away six years ago giving birth to Tyler and Felix’s youngest brother, Dan.

Mom always says it’s our job to take care of the four Blackwood boys.

She says we need to love them like they’re our family, and I do.

I may be an only child, but Felix, Tyler, Killian, and Dan are my brothers.

Mom always tells me how lucky I am to fit right in the middle.

She says I have two younger brothers to take care of and two older brothers who will always take care of me.

“Hey, you’re going to be okay.” Tyler wipes a tear from my cheek. He grins up at me, and I can see in the warmth of his brown eyes that he means every word.

All the while, Felix stands back, watching us in silence with his dark green eyes that I always imagine belong on a snake. With his blond hair and pale skin, he looks ghostly. The girls at school always get scared off any time he looks at them.

Not me.

Whenever Felix looks at me, it makes my stomach flip but in a way that I like. I’ve decided snakes are my favorite animals.

Felix is a year older than me and Tyler and has his own friends that he plays with at school.

He’s angry a lot, never with me and his brothers but teachers and his dad.

He doesn’t like to be told what to do. One time, a boy at school teased me for having red hair.

Felix punched him and I’ve never been teased by anyone since.

He always protects me like I imagine a big brother would.

He says red is his favorite color because of my hair.

Tyler is different from his older brother. Gentle and friendly. We’re in the same class at school and play together during every lunch break. He’s my best friend. Tyler says I’m his best friend too, but I don’t think that’s true, not when I see how close he and Felix are.

Sometimes… a lot of the time… I get sad that I’m not a Blackwood.

If I were truly their sister, they’d love me best. We’d live together and see each other all the time.

They could both be my prince and I could be their princess, like in all the ballets Mom takes me to watch.

Maybe the three of us could get married one day.

A while ago, I told all of this to my parents.

They responded with a strange smile I’d never seen from them.

They seemed worried instead of happy about my plan.

I didn’t understand why, but the look in their eyes made me realize I’d said something wrong.

I made sure to never say anything like that to them again.

“Are my hands going to scar?” Even though I try to be brave, my chin trembles and tears fall down my cheeks.

Tyler removes the shirt from my hands, checking my palms. “The cuts don’t look bad.”

“Don’t lie to her.” Felix’s words are blunt. It’s the first thing he’s said since asking about the taste of my blood. “Her hands will scar, for sure.”

“Stop being mean. You’re scaring her.”

“I’m only speaking the truth.”

My eyes widen with panic. The tears fall faster and it’s hard to breathe. “I don’t want scars. Ballerinas are supposed to be pretty and dainty?—”

“No one will see the scars when you’re dancing,” Tyler says. “And they won’t stop you from being pretty.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“It’s the truth,” Felix says. “In fact, I think you’ll look better with the scars.” He stares at the shattered glass on the floor, deep in thought. “If you’re that worried, I’ll run a piece of glass along both my hands so you’re not the only one with scars.”

The shock of his words dries up my tears. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am.” Felix takes Tyler’s shirt, using it as protection to pick up a jagged piece of glass, and holds the sharp point to his palm.

“Stop!”

He rolls his eyes. “You are such a girl. I don’t care about pain and blood.”

“I know you don’t care. But I do. Don’t do this.”

Felix looks from the shard of glass to me. His lips curl upward, and I realize that like the girls at school, I am scared of Felix right now, because whatever he’s thinking can’t be good.

“Fine.” He holds out the shard to me. “ You give me the scars.”

“You’re crazy.” I shove his hand away, but he pushes it right back to me.

“I’m serious. I want to match you. If you don’t take over, I’ll do it myself. I might cut too deep and cause some real damage. You’ll be gentle.”

My lips twitch with fear, but I know Felix and he’s not joking. There’s never any stopping him when his mind is made up. He’ll be too rough. We’ll have to take him to the hospital. My parents would definitely send him home.

I can be gentle. But the main tipping point in my decision is that Felix said he wants to match me . My stomach does that strange flipping feeling again that I like. If my hands do end up scarring, I like the thought of matching with Felix.

He sits beside me on the couch and holds out the shard. Nervous, I take it from him and do the job, being careful. I think there’s something wrong with me when I see Felix’s blood and get excited.

When I look up to check his pain, his eyes are already boring into me with no sign of discomfort. I feel weird inside, like I’m doing something bad but I don’t want to stop. Mom and Dad would ground me for a month if they walked in on us right now.

“Do the same to my other hand.”

I’m about to run the shard along Felix’s other palm but a different idea comes to mind. My eyes switch to Tyler kneeling in front of me. I shouldn’t say what I’m thinking. There are so many strange thoughts in my head .

Felix knows me too well and speaks my mind. “You want Tyler to have the second scar.”

I shake my head, embarrassed that the truth has come out.

To my surprise, Tyler shrugs and grins at me. “Do it, Harp. You’ll have a scar for each of us. We’ll have a scar for you.”

When he says it like that, I’m convinced. A few moments ago, I was afraid my hands would scar. Now, I hope they do. I like the idea of the three of us having matching scars. It will be a connection we share forever.

I look at Felix, needing his approval. He nods. “Go ahead.”

As I draw the glass along Tyler’s palm, I get that same feeling within me from before, that something about me, Tyler, and Felix definitely isn’t right. I don’t know what it is about us that isn’t right. All I know is my parents wouldn’t approve.

I just won’t tell my parents about this moment.

If they somehow find out and the boys are sent home, it won’t matter. I know, from these scars, that I don’t just have Tyler and Felix for the summer.

I smile at the two of them and whisper, “You belong to me for life.”