Chapter 10
CHAPTER 10
He bundled me into the truck and got in beside me. Without looking at me, he started the truck and then we were driving. I sat there beside him, shaking like a leaf.
What was he thinking? Why wasn’t he saying anything? Did he not want to marry me? Was he resenting the fact that I had publicly proposed to him? Thoughts raced through my mind.
We pulled up to my dark loft.
He turned off the truck and looked over at me. His features looked so angular in the dim light. “Are you sure you want to marry me?”
“Yes.” My voice faltered.
He sounded calm. “I can’t offer you what Matt can. You’re marrying a soldier, not a lawyer.”
“I know that.”
“You come from a different world. No one knows that better than me.”
Shock rippled through me. “Why would you say that?”
“Em, I stayed at your granny’s place. It was a penthouse that overlooks Central Park. If that is the kind of luxury you’ve grown up with, you’re going to hate military housing.”
“I don’t care about that,” I said. I didn’t. Houses did not make a person happy. Other people did.
“I’m gone a lot.”
“Don't you want to do this, Jackson?” I asked him, suddenly scared again.
“I’m all in. I just want you to have realistic expectations.”
I looked out the windshield. Thinking about the tall blonde hostess who looked like she would eat him alive. I decided to be blunt about it. “What are your views on monogamy?”
“Are you asking me if I think I’m going to cheat on you?”
I chewed my lip.
His voice was matter of fact. “If you keep on having sex with me, I guarantee I won’t stray.”
I blushed.
“I leave on Friday,” he said. “That gives us two days.”
I looked over at him in the dark. Trying to read the expression on his face. Failing.
“I did some research. In New York, we need to apply for a marriage license at least 24 hours before we can get married, so I’ll apply tomorrow, and we can get married Friday morning before I leave.”
My whole body jerked. “You want to get married on Friday?”
“I can’t move you out there until we get housing, and I can’t apply for housing until we're married.”
“Oh.”
“Emily, I assumed we'd do this quick and easy but if you need a wedding?”
“No,” I interrupted. “City hall is fine.”
He gave me a steady look. “You sure?”
“I just spent five months planning a wedding. I’m good.”
He was quiet for a long moment. “Being in the military is a way of life. I’m not sure it’s fair to marry you. ”
“You sound like Irene.”
“She had some valid points.”
“What did she say?”
“She pointed out that you’re used to a certain lifestyle. There are no fancy preschools on the base. All the kids go to the same school.”
“I went to a private school. I was miserable.”
“I’m trying to do what's best here for you and this kid. I’m not sure that dragging either of you into my life is the right thing.”
“I’m the one dragging you into a life that you don’t want.”
We stared at each for a long moment. I had visions of the look on the blonde hostess' face as she looked back up at Jackson, with her come-hither look. The panic began to flow through me again. My entire body tensed up. Were we making a huge mistake?
“Em, what are you thinking?”
“What if you can’t stand being married and a waitress with perfect blonde hair offers to do bad things with you, and when you come home I’m a hot mess, and the baby won’t stop crying?”
There it was. I vomited my darkest fears into this conversation.
He laughed. Like leaned his head back and openly laughed. I stared at him in fascination. This man was perfect looking when he laughed. I could not believe he was going to marry me. “That’s not going to happen.”
I was fairly certain all of the above would at some point or another. “It might.”
“I take my commitments seriously.”
I stared into his eyes. He reached over and a big hand wrapped around the back of my neck. He pulled my face close and then he was kissing me. Kissing me until I swooned while the whole world was spinning and a moan escaped my lips.
His mouth lifted off mine. A smile played on his lips. “I’m going to go.”
Before I could protest, he got out of the truck and walked around to open my door. He held out his hand and then he walked me up the steps to the loft .
I turned and looked at him. Wondering what he would say if I invited him in. Would he say yes? Would he refuse? My fears made me mute.
“Get some sleep,” he said, his expression hard to read.
My lips parted.
“I’m trying to give you some space to adjust to all of this,” he said before he dropped another kiss on my mouth.
And then he moved down the stairs before disappearing out of sight.
The following morning I woke up in disbelief over everything that had happened. Was I going to marry Jackson? Had I hallucinated the entire event? I wandered around my loft in a state of shock. I was half expecting that he would call me and tell me that he had thought things over and didn’t want to get married. I braced myself for this. I would not blame him if he didn’t want to marry me. I would handle it with grace and dignity.
My phone dinged with a text.
Jackson: I got our marriage license.
Holy crap.
Me: Okay.
Jackson: I have some things I need to take care of today. Can I pick you up at 2 PM tomorrow to head down to city hall?
I stared at my phone in shock. Did he have doubts? Were we making a bad situation worse? Should we just stop this before we took it any further?
Me: Okay.
The ceremony was short and sweet. Two hours later we were back at the loft. Jackson changed and was ready to leave.
“This is shit timing, but I need to go if I’m going to get back to Virginia in time for work.”
I nodded wordlessly.
He looked around the loft. “You gonna be okay?”
“Yes.”
This felt surreal. How would I know when to come to Virginia? I knew he was leaving for some training. Would he be out of contact for the entire time?
“Will you just text me when I’m supposed to come to Virginia?” I asked hesitantly.
He paused, a quizzical expression crossed his face. “I’ll probably call you tonight. When I arrive.”
My lips parted in shock. He was acting like a real husband. It stunned me into complete silence. “Okay.”
Chloe and I walked him out to his truck. He put his bag in the back and then turned around and looked down at me. This was weird.
“I’m sorry you’re spending our wedding night alone. That was some piss poor planning on my part,” he teased.
I blushed.
He laughed and grabbed my left hand. He held it up and studied the slim band on my finger. “Feel any different?”
“I feel weird.”
A big hand wrapped around my neck as he tugged me close. His mouth came down over mine. I felt all the tension flow out of me as his tongue gently teased me. I wrapped my hands up around his thick neck and clung to him as he slowly kissed me into oblivion. When he lifted his head, I was fairly panting.
“Better?” he asked, his eyes dark.
I gave a shaky laugh. “Better.”
He groaned as he pulled me against his hard body. “I have to go.”
“Okay. ”
I may or may not have shed a few tears when his big black truck pulled out of the driveway. And then he was gone.
I was already in bed when my phone rang. I scrambled in the dark to answer it.
“Hello?”
“Were you sleeping?” Jackson’s voice rumbled in my ear.
“Yes…no…just in bed but not asleep.”
“What are you wearing?” he teased.
“My pajamas.” I facepalmed myself. Could I get any less sexy?
He laughed.
I tried to think of something to ask. “How was your drive?”
“It was long.”
“And now you’re at work?”
“About to get on the bird.”
“You’re getting on a helicopter?”
“Yup. They’re just loading up.”
“Oh.” I tried to imagine Jackson in his environment. “Are you wearing a uniform?”
“Yeah, we’re geared up.”
I was exhausted. I could not imagine having to work this late at night after a six-hour car ride. It sounded brutal. “I wish you had gotten some sleep.”
“I’ll sleep on the flight.”
“Okay.”
A short pause. “I applied for housing for us. There’s a waiting list for houses, which I expected.”
“Oh. How long do you think it’ll take?”
“Not sure. Could be up to four months.”
Four months? That seemed like an interminable amount of time. I would probably be as big as a house. I still couldn’t wrap my brain around the fact that I was having a baby. Would I not see him until then?
“You still there?”
“Yes,” I cleared my throat. “Just doing some mental calculations.”
“About?”
“About how big my stomach is going to be in four months.”
He laughed. “Look, whatever happens, we’re just going to make it work, okay? Don’t fret.”
“Okay.”
“Emily, I’m going to be out of touch here, but you can text me. I’ll get my texts.”
“Are you going to be safe?” I felt an inordinate amount of anxiety about his departure.
“Oh yeah, we’re just training.”
A male voice spoke to him. “Hey MacDog, get off the phone with your therapist.”
I heard him laugh.
“Did someone just call you MacDog?” I was starting to get a glimpse of his world. It was so very different than anything I could have imagined.
“Yeah. That’s my name around here. So what are you going to do this week?”
“Tomorrow the movers are coming to pack and move me to the penthouse. I have an appointment with a realtor to post the loft for sale. She's going to help me stage the place.”
“What about Matt’s stuff?”
“I texted him and asked him to send me an address so that I can arrange for movers to send him his stuff.”
“Huh.” I couldn’t read his tone over the line. “You going to be okay?”
“The movers will help with everything, and I have Martha to help me.”
“You can tell her that I still dream at night about her pancakes.”
I laughed .
“Those were some of the best pancakes I have ever had.”
“She will love that.”
“Have a good night, Mrs. Hunter.”
My whole body reacted to his voice calling me Mrs. Hunter.
“Stay safe.”
“Always.”
I hung up the phone and stared into the dark. Did he feel weird about this? He seemed so normal on the phone.
I tossed on my side and punched my pillow a few times. I just needed to take this a day at a time and not freak out.