Chapter 15
CHAPTER 15
I stood in the laundry room and stared at the plant that sat on the washer. Why was Julie so obsessed with how much money I had? Why did she have to bring it up every single chance she got? And why did it feel like everything was spinning out of control? I just wanted this party to end and everyone to go home.
I took a deep breath. I just needed to get through tonight. I could process everything later.
I moved back to the living room. Matt was knee deep in the party, joking and laughing uproariously. Katherine stuck to his side like glue.
Swallowing hard, I made my way to his side, and when he saw me, his eyes lit up. “Em, can you please top us up?”
Shame washed over me. Followed immediately by retribution. I had kissed Jackson. Jackson’s mouth had been on mine, and I had moaned into his lips. I had wantonly drunk in his kiss like the starved virgin I was. Matt deserved more from me. Now he was entertaining someone from his work, and I was not going to be the insecure fiancé who clung to him.
“Sure,” I said with a cheerfulness I did not feel.
The party raged on. People drank more. The music got louder. The laughter became overwhelming. The energy was more intense. I collected dirty glasses. I called cabs for people who were no longer in any condition to drive. I sorted out coats and bags and hugged and kissed everyone on their way out. And the entire time, I drank. I don’t know how many glasses of wine I consumed, but the moment my glass was empty, I filled it up again.
I was in the kitchen, trying without success to tie off a bag of garbage but my hands fumbled and struggled with the simple task. Matt appeared in the kitchen.
“Do we have any more of that pinot?”
I stood up and blinked at him. It dawned on me that I would have to come clean about the kiss. The sooner, the better. He was avoiding my gaze.
“Matt,” I said carefully. “Can we talk? I have to tell you something.”
“Not right now.”
“Matt, I have a confession.”
Matt’s critical gaze roamed over me. Then he looked over his shoulder, his bloodshot eyes narrowed. I followed his gaze to see Jackson towering on the other side of the island. He wore a scowl, and he looked formidable.
Matt looked towards Jackson. “Why do you look so pissed? You’re getting lucky tonight, as usual.”
“What?” I blinked in confusion. Green eyes shifted to my face and then back to Matt again.
Matt snorted. “Jackson here likes to stroll into any situation, find the hottest chick and then the rest of us get his leftovers.”
My mouth dropped open at Matt’s crude comment. “Matt!”
“The worst part about it is that it won’t mean anything to him.”
I now had to tell Matt I had kissed Jackson. I shut my eyes momentarily, and the entire room went off kilter. I grabbed the counter to find my balance.
“You’re hammered.” Matt looked at me with something close to disgust.
I just needed to get this over with.
“Matt, we need to talk.”
He stepped back. “Em, why do you always pick the most inappropriate times to want to talk? You have the worst timing of any person I know.”
My mouth dropped open at the barely concealed venom in his tone. Why was he so angry at me? Did he somehow already know that I had kissed Jackson?
Against my will, my hands reached out to grab his arm. He shook me off. My eyes followed him as he walked back into the living room to take his place beside Katherine.
Jackson looked down at me. His expression was unreadable.
“He’s mad,” my voice sounded sorrowful. “And I haven’t even told him yet.”
He rubbed the back of his neck.
Why was I always dumping my issues at this man’s feet?
I tried to switch gears by asking him, “Did you have fun tonight?”
His expression didn’t change.
I swallowed a huge lump in my throat and lied. “I think you and Julie make a nice couple.”
“You should go to bed.”
“You’re scowling.”
He looked over his shoulder at Matt and then looked back at me. “I'm going to help you upstairs now.”
I carefully stepped, wobbling only slightly. “I can do it myself.”
Jackson walked around the island, and before I could react, he scooped me into his strong arms, holding me against his chest. I stared up at his beautiful face as he began to move with ease up the stairs.
“Carrying another person up the stairs is dangerous,” I worked to enunciate my words .
He glanced down at me. “I can carry another guy my size on my back.”
I blinked, noticing from this angle, just how long his eyelashes were. Was it like firefighters? Did they have to carry someone as part of qualifying for his job? “What distance do you have to carry the other person?”
“It depends.”
“On what?”
“If we’re five miles away, and he’s hurt, that’s how far I carry him. If we’re ten miles, that’s the distance we go.”
I frowned at him. “But what if you get tired?”
He pushed into my room. “Getting tired isn’t an excuse. You just get the job done.”
“I can take it from here,” I said. I struggled to lift my head from his chest.
He lay me on the bed and stood over me.
“The room is spinning.”
“Keep your eyes open,” he moved to the foot of the bed.
His two warm hands were on my ankle. Unable to lift my head, I realized that he was working on the strap of my high heel. I decided to let him since I didn’t think I would be able to manage it.
I stared at the ceiling fan. “Do me a favor?”
“What.” He pulled off one shoe and moved to my other foot.
“Can you and Julie not be too loud?”
“What?” He sounded harsh.
I lifted my head. “When she comes up here as your sophisticated overnight guest.”
“Julie isn’t coming upstairs.”
I dropped my head back on the pillow. “She would if you asked her.”
He sounded pissed. “I won’t be asking her.”
His breath warmed the skin on my ankle as he worked on my shoe.
“Matt said you were getting lucky. ”
He tugged my other shoe off. Standing up, he towered over my bed. “I'm going to get you some water and aspirin.”
He disappeared out the door. I struggled to sit up. I needed to take my pants off. I unbuttoned them but decided that I could shimmy out of them while lying down. I got them halfway down my hips, but they got stuck.
Jackson reappeared, pausing at the door when he saw me in my state of undress.
“I can’t get my pants off,” I said, my eyes shut. “Can you help?”
A glass clattered as it got set down on the nightstand.
“I thought Matt was the lightweight.”
“Just pull them off.”
The bed depressed next to me, so I opened my eyes. He had one knee on the bed, and he looked down at my pants.
“Did you have fun tonight?” I stared at his perfect face.
“It was fine.”
“I hated tonight,” I said with a sigh. “Tonight was bad.”
Green eyes clashed with mine. He held eye contact while his huge hands traced over my bare skin at my waist. A small noise squeaked out of me. I lifted my head and watched as his fingers grabbed the fabric of my pants. He tugged the material down over my hips and down my thighs before pulling them from my body.
“How come tonight was so bad?” His voice sounded very casual.
I lay there, staring up at him. Too drunk to care that he was looking at me in my undies. “Everything was bad.”
He grabbed the quilt and pulled it over my body.
“Why?”
My body hurt, but emotionally I needed to talk.
“Just…Matt’s co-worker. She answered his cell. And he didn’t even tell her that he was my fiancé.”
Jackson listened.
My hands fluttered above the quilt. “I know she’s an important person, but I'm important too.”
“You are. ”
“It made me feel bad.”
“I bet.” His expression was solemn.
“And I feel bad about other stuff.”
“Like what?”
“You know.”
He stood there for a long moment without speaking. “Tell me.”
“The kiss,” I whispered.
He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I told you, that was not your fault.”
I blurted, “I feel bad because I liked it.”
He put his hands on his hips and took a deep breath before blowing it out slowly. “Emily, you're going to hurt tomorrow.”
“I already hurt.”
I bolted to the toilet. Sometime in the middle of the night, I had taken off my blouse, and now I shivered in just my bra and panties, as I clung to the toilet bowl, and repeatedly spewed my guts.
“Matt,” I called weakly. Then I barfed some more. I flushed the toilet. Acid burned my throat. Tears streaked down my face. “Matt.”
The hallway light turned on, and then a figure in the doorway blocked out the light.
“Matt?” I turned my face back into the toilet and retched some more. The night light went on in my bathroom. A soft glow flooded the room.
“No, it’s Jackson.” Two big hands pulled my hair back, while my body worked to cleanse itself.
“Can you go get him?” I gasped. He walked to the sink, wet a face cloth and crouched down beside me. I struggled to lift my head. He gently wiped my face.
“Where is Matt?” I stammered.
“He left.”
My head jerked up. “Where did he go? ”
He shrugged. “I think he went out with some of the guys. I don’t know.”
I wiped my nose. “I feel sick, and I threw up in my hair.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I know.”
“You don’t have to help me,” I said, wanting to cry. “This goes way beyond the call of duty.”
He stood up, and I heard the shower door open. Water turned on.
“Come on,” he said, “You’ll feel better after a shower.”
I shook my head. “I’ll just stay here.”
Two hands went under my arms, and he hauled me onto my feet. “In you get.”
He pushed me into the walk-in shower. Clad in only my bra and panties, I staggered and clutched the wall, feeling incredibly dizzy.
He stepped in behind me and reached around me to adjust the water temperature. He pushed me to stand beneath the warm water. I shut my eyes and let the water pour over me. His big hands slicked my hair back off my face.
“Turn around,” he said.
I faced him, my eyes still shut. Strong hands shampooed my hair before tilting my head to rinse. I dropped my forehead, leaning it against his chest. Strong arms wrapped around me. I sighed as I leaned against his warm, hard chest.
“Do you feel better?” he asked.
I nodded.
“Come on,” he took my hand and led me out of the shower. I shivered, my arms crossed over myself. He wrapped a big towel around my shoulders and started to rub me dry. I trembled with cold.
I stared at him in a fog. He was dripping wet. Rivulets of water ran down his huge chest. His drawstring fleece shorts were soaked and clung to his body.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“This isn’t cold,” his face was a mask of concentration as he rubbed first one arm dry and then the other. He turned me around, and roughly rubbed the towel over my back. Down one leg and then the other. Then the towel wrapped around my back.
He disappeared into my bedroom and came back with a t-shirt and a pair of dry panties. “Can you manage this?”
I nodded and waited for him to leave. On shaking legs, I pulled on the dry clothes. I brushed my teeth but was unable to look at my reflection in the mirror. I wondered how much Jackson hated his life right now?
I staggered to my bed and looked down in horror.