Not Mother Dearest
NOT MOTHER DEAREST
RACHEL
I woke up face down on my bed. My eyes peeled apart, but my vision was blurry, and it was as if I had sand in my eyes. Ugh, I hated sleeping in my contacts. I rolled off the bed and realized that Cam must have carried me there. I called to him, hoping he was filling my kitchen with some morning hotness as he made coffee, but my house was quiet.
The candles had been blown out, and he had loaded the dishwasher, and …
Oh my gah .
He had even taken out the trash. He left a long handwritten note on two Post-Its as well. For a second, I didn’t want to read them as we all know that messages from men written on Post-Its do not always end well.
The note read:
Morning Kicklighter!
I had a great time with you last night. You fell asleep during the movie so I stopped it. Let’s plan a time to finish it. I didn’t leave because of anything you told me, it’s just that I can’t sleep in my contacts and I didn’t want to wake you or rifle through your bathroom looking for an extra case. Call me when you get up.
Sincerely,
Hot Baker
I reread it a couple times and decided to stick it to my fridge. He could have texted this, but he took the time to write something and leave it for me and it felt like a little treasure.
I called him but had to leave a voicemail. Then I dug my own contacts out of my eyes, showered, and went to work with my glasses on.
There weren’t many customers at the store, so it was time to rearrange the showroom, clean, and start some inventory. I felt a renewed sense of energy for my work. The frost coming off my mother was cooling the building more than the air conditioning, however. My mother typically pouts for a while when we have a spat and then snaps out of it in a few days, but when I entered my office, her scowl was waiting for me.
“What is this?” She waved a pink Post-It in the air.
I shrugged, not remembering what note she was referring to. I reached for it and read it. “Oh yes, I texted Carol this morning to not schedule me August seventeenth and eighteenth.” I taped it back to the scheduling computer. “Is there a problem?”
Mother folded her arms across her chest. “Is this for another wedding … with him?”
I rolled my eyes and flopped down in my desk chair. “Yes, Mother, this is for another wedding with my friend, Cam. He has a name and it’s Cam as I’ve told you several times before.”
“Does this man love you?”
I furrowed my brow. “Mother, please. We’re friends. That’s all.”
She took a seat across from me and folded her hands on her lap. “Then why go through this? Why push Andrew away, a man who does love you, for a man who might be using you to get through these weddings?”
“Mother, it’s too early in the morning for this. For the last time, Andrew doesn’t love me. And whether Cam loves me or not doesn’t matter. I genuinely enjoy his company. That’s why I’m going to these weddings with him.”
“If you go to another wedding with that man, you’re fired.”
“What did you just say?” I asked.
My mother …
My own mother was going to fire me?
My pulse hammered in my ears, drowning out everything else. The statement rolled off her tongue with such ease that it sent a frigid shiver right through to my bones.
I gulped. “You can’t fire me.”
“Oh yes, I can,” she said, wagging her finger at me. “I’m technically the owner of this business. You are not.”
Rage-fueled tears welled up in my eyes. “I want to go to a wedding with a friend and your response to that is to fire me?”
“If it will get you to come to your senses, yes!”
“Mother, have you lost your mind?”
“You have! You have lost your mind! I mean, honestly. What would your future be like with a man like that? He owns a bakery? What kind of life could he provide for you?”
“It doesn’t matter! I’m not looking for him to provide for me. I’m his plus one for a wedding.”
“It’s more than that. You have feelings for him, otherwise you wouldn’t take all these risks for him.”
I laughed joylessly. “You’re the only one who’s taking risks, Mother. Do you really want to lose your daughter and your best salesperson?”
She hung her head and rubbed her temples. “No, no, my dear. I’m trying to save you from making a big mistake.”
I had worked in this family business half my life, and I had never sought any equal ownership in the company. I was happy to come to work, and my mother, although she took most of the credit for how well we did, basically let me run the store the way I wanted. To have her pull the rug out from under me rocked me to my core.
She finally broke the silence by rising and pushing in her chair. “Think about it. I’m doing this for your own good.”
She turned and sauntered out of the office, and a strange, new feeling came over me.
I wanted to look up my father.
I’d never truly felt a deep, loving bond with my mother, and whatever shred of loyalty I’d once clung to had been snuffed out by her latest betrayal. On the surface, she ticked all the boxes of a dutiful parent, but when it came to loving me with her whole heart, that part of her had been broken—out of order—for as long as I could remember.
Cam's words of encouragement to contact my father lingered in my mind, stirring up a whirlwind of emotions. The thought of reaching out to him both excited and terrified me. How would he react? He doesn’t even know I exist. How could I call this man out of the blue and claim I’m his daughter?
Although, even if he rejected me, it wouldn't change my current situation, and the potential for finally connecting with the missing pieces of my family felt exhilarating. Despite my fears, I couldn't shake off the idea of possibly meeting my father, and it kept me going throughout the rest of the day.