29 - Jazz
29
Jazz
I fled from my neighbor’s house and hurried home, not caring that two of the neighbors across the street were staring. They could gossip all they wanted. Right now, I didn’t care.
The hair on the back of my neck was standing on end, though. And it wasn’t because of Karen and Ms. Porter chatting on the sidewalk. I glanced at the house with the faded white paint. The guys called the owner Voldemort, and said that everyone is afraid of him. There was a flicker of movement by the blinds. Had someone been peering through them, watching me?
Shaking it off, I hurried inside. I changed out of my clothes—which I had chosen for sex appeal, not comfort—and into sweatpants. Even ignoring that Aiden and Bash had been lying to me, I was overwhelmed by everything I had just learned. It was ridiculous. It was insane. It made me think it was all some prank.
The worst part was that I was starving. I usually went grocery shopping after work on Mondays, but I had skipped that today since I had a date with Aiden. So there was nothing good to eat in my house except pickles, cheese, and half a bag of Triscuits.
Girl dinner.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. I wanted to ignore it, but I certainly didn’t have the willpower.
Aiden : I’m really sorry you had to find out this way. I know it sounds convenient, but Bash and I had actually agreed to tell you everything tonight. But you blew the secret before we could. Take as much time as you want to process everything. We will give you your space. You don’t even have to respond to this text. I just wanted to let you know how much I like you, and hope that we can keep seeing each other in some fashion.
Aiden : Oh, and I dropped off some food on your porch. Including dessert.
I practically ran to the front door, pausing only to make sure Aiden wasn’t still on my porch. Waiting on the doormat were two Tupperware containers of food, and a full pie wrapped in tinfoil.
As I wolfed it all down, it was tough to be upset at Aiden. The eggplant parmesan was phenomenal . Much better than the attempt Bash and I had made.
Bash.
Aiden.
And Dante, apparently.
They wanted to find a woman to share. Three men, one woman. Sex, and maybe some kind of a relationship.
I laughed out loud at my kitchen table. It was insane! That’s not how relationships worked.
But I was already sleeping with two of them. Hell, I had spent the majority of today freaking out about that fact! Suddenly discovering that they were not only cool with it, but had hoped it would happen…
I didn’t know how to feel.
The pie was really good, though.
I slept fitfully, tossing and turning. Every time I woke up, I re-remembered what I had learned, freaking out about it all over again.
My eyelids were heavy as I walked out to my car the next morning. There was a rumbling sound that I couldn’t place until I walked down my driveway to where my car was parked. That’s when I saw the motorcycle next door.
Dante was straddling the chrome-and-black bike, with his helmet resting on the handlebars while he texted on his phone. He looked the part, wearing a leather jacket and a backpack, with heavy black boots that looked way too big for any normal guy’s feet. His face was pinched in a scowl, but that only accentuated his strong facial features. Even with his rusty-black beard, his strong jawline stood out.
He was, if I had to describe him, sexy. Undeniably so.
That only enhanced my annoyance at the entire situation.
Dante glanced over, noticing me for the first time, then rolled his eyes and shoved his phone in a pocket.
“Hey,” I said, walking over to the fence that separated our two properties. “About what happened last night…”
“I give exactly zero fucks,” he replied in a deep, rough voice.
“I just want to make it very clear,” I insisted, “that I haven’t agreed to whatever insane arrangement Aiden mentioned. So if you think—”
“Doesn’t matter,” he interrupted, putting on a pair of riding gloves and then his helmet. “I’m not into blondes. Sorry.”
He slammed the visor down, rolled out onto the street, and shot away at a reckless speed. I could still hear the rumble of the bike long after he was out of sight.
“Not into blondes?” I muttered. “Yeah, right.” The rejection stung more than I expected. He didn’t really mean what he said. He was just trying to reject me before I had a chance of rejecting him. I was certain that was the truth, but it still felt like there was an itch under my skin I couldn’t scratch.
Halfway to work, I gave myself a mental shake. What the hell was I doing? Two men were already too many to worry about. I didn’t need to get upset because my third hot neighbor wasn’t into me like the other two.
I had an early meeting with my employees, which helped distract me from my personal issues, but once that was over I went right back to obsessing over the situation next door. How could I not? This was the craziest thing to ever happen to me. It didn’t feel real.
I thought I was hiding it, but apparently not well enough, because one of the servers came up to me a little bit later. “You okay, boss?” Brandi asked.
“I’m fine, why?”
She gave me a pitying look. “Something’s bother you. I can tell. Want to talk about it?”
I did want to talk about it, but definitely not with someone who worked for me. Word would spread and everyone would gossip about the slutty boss who was sleeping with two-thirds of her neighbors.
“I’m fine,” I said. Then, to sell it, I added, “It’s my grandma. She’s been in the hospital.”
“Aw, I’m sorry.” Brandi came around the desk and gave me a hug, even though I was sitting down. “It’ll be okay. I’ll pray for her.”
I stared as Brandi went back to work. That was incredibly sweet of her. And it made me feel like an asshole for lying.
My brain was going to vibrate out of my skull if I didn’t talk to someone though, so I texted Cat.
Me : Hey, are you back from your overnight conference?
Cat : I’m on the Metro right now. I’ll be home in half an hour. Why?
Me : I have an emergency relationship situation.
Cat : Say less. I’m in. Lunch at Bruno’s Cafe?
Me : I can’t step away today. Can you meet me here at Top Golf? I’ll buy you anything you want off the lunch menu here.
Cat : Sold.
There was a room for private events attached to the restaurant at work, and that’s where I led Cat once she arrived. “I want the southwest chicken salad,” she said while I closed the doors. “And since this is an emergency friend request, I’ll take one of them to go. I’ll eat it for dinner tonight.”
“Whatever you want,” I said, punching the order into the computer by the door.
Cat slinked into one of the chairs. “I expected you to push back on that. This must be serious. Did you sleep with Bash?”
“First of all, yes,” I said.
She let out a squeal. “I knew it! Victory sex after destroying that jerk-face couple at Pickleball. I love it. I wish my hookups were that fun. I’m guessing things are all weird now because of it?”
“Things are absolutely weird, but not because of that,” I replied. “Hold onto your seat, because this is a doozy.”
As I caught Cat up to speed, her jaw opened wider and wider. By the end, her eyes were the size of golf balls.
“You okay?” I asked. “I put us in this room because the walls are thick, and I expected you to start shrieking at the top of your lungs.”
“I’m stunned,” she admitted. “I don’t know what to say.”
“See?” I pointed at her. “That reaction worries me more than if you were jumping up and down and throwing chairs around. I’ve never seen you stunned to silence .”
“It’s because I’m thinking. Things just got serious .”
“They weren’t already serious?”
“Of course not. Before, you were having casual fun. But polyamory…”
“You know what that is? I had to look it up.”
“Of course I do. As an enlightened bisexual, I know pretty much everything. And polyamory is queer-adjacent, in the sense that it’s not really accepted by a lot of people.”
“Okay, so what am I supposed to do?”
“Obviously,” she replied, “you’re going to have a threesome with Aiden and Bash.”
“Obviously? Why is that obvious?”
She looked at me like I was insane. “Because that’s the dream , Jazz! It’s the dream!”
“Really? The dream? Like, the dream Martin Luther King Jr. talked about in his speech?”
“Stop being dramatic. You know what I mean. I’d kill to be in your position right now. If you’re not interested, tell them I’ll take your place. Enthusiastically .”
“What happened to focusing on female partners?”
“I’ve had four bad dates in the last month,” she replied. “I’m ready to switch back to dicks. Plural . Do you know how hard it is to initiate a threesome with two guys? It’s almost impossible. Men don’t even like sharing their Legos, let alone women.” She leaned back in her chair and shook her head. “Oh, they’ll say they’re into it, but as soon as the clothes come off and dicks are out, they get all weird about it.”
She spread her arms wide. “But you don’t have that problem, Jazz! You have two guys ready and willing to double-team you, and they live right next door to you!”
There was a knock at the door, and Brandi walked in with our lunches. She gave me a sad look, patted my shoulder, and then closed the door behind her.
“What was that about?” Cat asked.
“She thinks my grandma is sick. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that Aiden and Bash hid all of this from me. And to maintain the secret, they lied to me.
“Of course they did!” Cat said, digging into the salad. “Would you have been open to it if they led with that from the start? Welcome to the neighborhood, Jazz! Here’s a pie. Oh, by the way: we want to gangbang you.”
“You may have a point.”
“Of course I do. I’m brilliant beyond my twenty-one years.”
“You’re thirty-one.”
“Sometimes we lie, Jazz,” she replied. “Aiden messed up and texted you something that was meant for a different woman. The only way he could get out of that pickle and maintain his dignity was to lie about it.”
“But then he kept lying about it,” I insisted. “We became friends, then started having sex. And he still kept it from me.”
Cat swallowed a mouthful and then gestured with her fork. “At what point was he supposed to reveal his big fuck-up? When would you have received that information and not freaked out about it?”
“I don’t know. Once I was involved with Bash?”
She nodded emphatically. “Exactly! That’s when the information became the most relevant. And he said he was going to admit it all to you at dinner, but it blew up right before that. Do you believe him?”
That was one question I had considered the most over the past twelve hours. “I think I do. I think he was going to come clean about everything at dinner last night. Bash alluded to it, and Aiden was acting like he had something big to tell me.”
“Boom,” Cat said, raising her fork out at arm’s length and then dropping it on the table.
“What was that?”
“I didn’t have a microphone to drop, so I did my best with the options available.” She picked up the fork and resumed eating. “You seem more relaxed. I untied your mental knot. I can tell. I’m the best friend in the world!”
“And modest, too,” I teased.
Cat rolled her eyes.
“So what do I do now?” I asked. “Tell them I’m interested in the two of them?”
“You’re not interested in the third guy?” Cat asked. “Is he hot?”
“He’s… not unattractive,” I admitted. “But he’s not my type. He rides a motorcycle, and he’s kind of an asshole.”
Cat stared at me while she chewed and swallowed.
“What?” I asked.
“You’re not telling me everything. Just spit it out, Jazzy.”
I sighed. “You know me too well. The third neighbor, Dante, said he’s not interested. He said he’s not into blondes.”
“I’m not into blondes either,” Cat muttered, “but I’d throw my grandma down a flight of stairs for a chance to sleep with Margot Robbie.”
“Aww. You think I’m on the same level as Margot Robbie?”
“Sometimes we lie, Jazz,” Cat replied with a grin. “Forget about the third guy. Focus on the other two.”
“So back to my question: what do I do?”
“Stop overthinking it, first of all.”
“You’re asking too much from me,” I replied.
“How about this.” Cat put her fork down and wiped her hands on a napkin. “Today’s Tuesday. Invite the guys over for game night, just like everything is normal. Have a few drinks before they come over, and have more when they arrive. Get sloppy and see what happens.”
“Do I really want drunk-Jazz making decisions for me?”
“If it’s the way to get you to relax enough to get double-teamed by your two hot neighbors? Hell yes. Put drunk-Jazz in charge and let that slutmonster take the wheel!”
We laughed together, and I dug into my salad.
I was thinking about it, now.