Neighbors With Benefits

57 - Jazz

57

Jazz

We made some awkward introductions with Karen and Howard. Then I led my three neighbors back across the street and into their home.

“A knife, I can understand,” I said. “But a metal ladle? You thought you could fight someone with that?”

“Dante took the good weapon,” Aiden complained.

“We have six other knives,” Dante said bluntly.

“I don’t want to use my Japanese paring knife to stab someone!”

“I appreciate your enthusiasm to rush to my defense,” I told them. “Even if your execution was a little silly.”

“I can’t believe Voldemort helped you,” Bash said.

“His name is Howard!” I snapped.

All three of them frowned at me.

“Sorry,” I said. “I’m projecting my own guilt onto you. He was upset when he learned we call him that.”

“Why did you tell him? Aiden asked.

“Because I’m an idiot,” I said with a sigh. “My emotions are all over the place tonight.”

“You seemed off while we were playing Pickleball,” Bash observed. “And I don’t think it’s your stomach.”

Aiden nodded in agreement.

“Karen and Howard were so nice to me,” I said. “But they are kind of snoops. They have a parabolic microphone they use to listen to conversations in the neighborhood. That’s how they knew I was going to break up with you guys.”

All three of them tensed at the same time.

“You… what?” Aiden asked.

I touched my head. “Ugh. I can’t think straight. Let me start over.”

“Don’t start over,” Dante growled. “If you’re breaking up with us, then that’s what we’re talking about first.”

“I’m not,” I said, rubbing his arm. He remained tense though, like a coiled spring.

“They overheard a conversation I had with Cat the other day. I told her I needed to break up with you guys because…” I hesitated. Admitting this part was hard, but seeing the confused pain on their faces was worse. “Because I’ve developed feelings for you. All of you.”

Dante gave a little snort. Bash furrowed his brow. Aiden just said, “Oh.”

“Wait a minute. They’ve been spying on us with a parabolic mic?” Bash asked.

“And binoculars. We can circle back to that later,” I said. “I have feelings for each of you, feelings that are growing every single day. I can’t deny it any more. That terrified me, and it’s the opposite of the agreement we all had to keep things casual…”

“So you thought the way out was to dump us?” Aiden demanded, clutching the ladle to his chest.

“Let me finish! I thought that at first, yeah. I was panicking. But Karen and Howard talked me out of it. They told me that they’ve never seen you guys so happy before.”

“How do they know how happy we are?” Aiden wondered.

“The microphone. And binoculars. Come on dude, keep up,” Dante scolded.

“Karen said the three of you used to be angsty, always bickering with each other. She’s seen all your relationships come and go. Howard even counted all your individual girlfriends.” I pointed to each man in turn. “Seven, four, and three.”

Dante’s brow tightened. “Seven?”

“They must not be counting that Australian girl you hooked up with,” Bash said.

“Erin.” Dante smirked. “That was a fun three days.”

“You’re seriously bringing down the vibe of my big speech,” I said.

Dante’s smile disappeared. “Sorry.”

“Karen and Howard both said that since I moved in, the three of you are happier than they’ve ever seen before,” I continued. “They insisted that we should stay together.”

“So… they know about our situation? How the three of us are sharing you?” Bash asked.

Dante grunted. “Forget about knowing. They actually approve?”

“That’s the part that shocked me the most,” I said. “They’re accepting of our weird polyamorous relationship.”

Aiden tossed his ladle across the room. “Jazz, I don’t care about the rules we set up when we started having sex. I tried keeping it casual, but I just can’t. I love you, Jazz.”

The words were like a shock to my system. I might have gasped.

He loves me?

“Or at least, I’m falling in love with you,” he quickly added. “I don’t know. I’ve been thinking about my feelings a lot lately, and all that matters is they’re strong .”

Aiden crossed the room and knelt in front of me. “I can’t just be your friend with benefits. I want more, Jazz. I need more. Deep down, I’ve known that since we were first intimate. Maybe even before that, when we were still having innocent game nights.”

Everything he said was a validation of my own emotions. It was like he knew exactly what I needed to hear. Except these were his genuine feelings, not just a man saying whatever he needed to say to make me happy. I could see the love in his eyes.

Bash sat on the couch next to me and took both of my hands in his. “I don’t think I’m ready to drop an L-bomb, but I care deeply about you, Jazz. Since the moment I met you, when you walked in on me in the bathroom at your housewarming party, I’ve had a big fat crush on you. I’ve tried pretending like it’s casual, but it hasn’t been. Not since we first started hanging out on game nights, not since we began hooking up, and definitely not now.”

“I can’t take these confessions of love seriously,” Dante said. “You’re all wearing dumb neon workout clothes.”

Aiden turned and cleared his throat. “You don’t have anything you want to say to her?”

“She knows how I feel about her.”

“Does she?” Bash asked.

“I’m not sure I do,” I said, eager to hear what Dante had to say.

“Tell her what you told us earlier,” Aiden insisted. “When we were standing in front of Voldemort’s door.”

“Howard’s door,” I corrected. “But yes! What did you say then?”

Dante leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “I said you’re a cool neighbor, and a great fuck.”

“After that,” Aiden insisted.

Dante’s gaze collided with mine. He stared at me for three long seconds, and I wondered if he was going to say anything else at all.

“I enjoy your company,” he finally said. “That’s why I came home early. Because I can’t stand to be away from you another minute longer. Because I feel like I’ll fucking die when we’re apart.”

His confession meant the most to me, I realized. He wasn’t the kind of guy who shared his emotions, so this was a huge admission.

“I am a great fuck though, right?” I asked.

His lip curled in a smirk. “The best.”

I looked at each of my neighbors, my lovers, and smiled. I felt so much love from them right now. It washed over me like a warm shower, cleansing away all of my doubts.

My doubts .

“Thank you for sharing how you feel,” I said. “But I’m still worried about the future. How all of this would work.”

“What’s confusing about it?” Bash asked.

“Big things. I want children. A family. How would that work?”

“We all want kids,” Aiden replied simply.

“Two, maybe three,” Bash added.

Still leaning against the wall, Dante only nodded.

“What about how society will treat us?” I continued. “Will our friends accept this situation? What about our family? And then there are other people, neighbors and colleagues, our kids’ teachers and the other parents. What if they judge us?”

Dante snorted. “Who gives a fuck?”

“I don’t care if people judge us,” Bash said. “Dante and Aiden are the best friends I have, so no problem there. And if other people are weird about it, I can shrug it off.”

“I do have concerns about family,” Aiden admitted. “My grandparents will never understand, but I only have to see them maybe once a year. My mom, though…” He stared off. “I hope she would accept this. I don’t know. But ultimately, that’s not as important as the feelings I have for you, Jazz. And it’s certainly not a reason to self-destruct our entire relationship.”

“Fuck everyone else,” Dante said bluntly. “If people won’t accept us? Then I don’t want them in our lives.”

All of them had clearly given this a lot of thought. Because of course they had—they’d been considering a relationship like this since before they even met me. That was oddly reassuring. They had the same concerns I did, but weren’t going to let it stop them.

Their confidence, their certainty , quickly bled into my own emotions. If they were fine with it, then I could be too.

We would strengthen each other. Lean on each other. In that regard, this relationship would be stronger than a so-called normal relationship.

“I think we’ve convinced her,” Bash said with a grin.

Aiden was still kneeling on the ground. He sighed, then leaned forward to kiss me. “Have we convinced you?”

Slowly, I nodded. “I just have one question. What now?”