10. Brody
10 /
brody
My heart pounded like I’d just come off the ice. After Gabe left, I cleaned up and tried to pull myself together, but no amount of deep breathing could untangle the mess in my head. I’d come to Buffalo to keep things simple—hockey, focus, routine. Now I’d ended up in Gabe’s arms and shattered every rule I’d set for myself.
I liked him more than I wanted to admit, and that was a problem. What if I let this thing between us happen and it all went to hell? I couldn’t afford another Boston incident, and I couldn’t survive another fallout that might leave me broken, hurting, and out of a career for good.
I’d never forget the way Gabe had looked at me and touched me like I was someone he truly desired. My attraction to him felt innate, unlike anything I’d ever experienced with another man or woman, and I was convinced he felt it, too. He had done everything I asked to satisfy me. In retrospect, I didn’t know if Wes had ever truly desired me . I was probably nothing more than someone who was interested and had the right equipment, a convenient way to satisfy a need he couldn’t ignore but had to keep hidden at all costs. But was the connection I felt with Gabe enough to silence the fear clawing at my chest?
Had sex with Gabe unleashed a beast inside me, one I’d kept buried for a year? What if I now needed sex with a man so much I could never chain the beast up again?
I nearly ran into Erica Wyatt as soon as I stepped outside, and she took me to meet some of my teammates’ wives. As we talked, it was obvious how much they adored their men. For a moment, I imagined what it would be like to have someone feel that way about me, someone who wasn’t afraid to let others see us together. The irony was rich. In Boston, I’d been the deep, dark secret, and now I was terrified to let anyone know what I needed or who I wanted.
After chatting with the women for a few minutes, I excused myself and looked around for Gabe. The evening light made it hard to pick out faces, so I wandered around, pretending not to be too eager. A few teammates stopped me along the way to say hello, and I met Harper Blanton’s fiancé, Luca. They were all great, but I was a man on a mission.
My mind seemed to change directions with every step I took. Despite my uncertainty, I was drawn to Gabe like a moth to a flame. I’d learned my lesson in Boston, but now I wondered exactly what I’d learned. Wesley and his Beanie cronies were terrible people, but could dating a teammate work if he was the right person, and we were in the right place?
If Gabe and I were going to try, we’d need to take it slow. There was too much at stake for… Ha! —I almost laughed out loud because tonight had been anything but slow. Still, dating could give us the chance to figure things out. Hooking up had been terrific, but the real question was whether we could work as something more than two horny guys getting off.
Did he want to date, though? Inside, he’d asked if we could do this again, but what had we actually done? We had a quick round of sex. Smoking hot sex. Sex that satisfied me in a way nothing ever had. If that’s what he wanted to do again, I’d certainly be down for it, but it wouldn’t be dating. Where had I gotten the idea he might?—
“Hey, stranger.”
I spun around, and there he was—grinning at me like he’d been waiting for this moment all day. His eyes, catching the dim light, sparkled like a lake under the stars. The evening shadows played along his strong frame, making him seem larger than life, and for a second, I forgot how to breathe.
“Is that what I am now?” I asked, my voice husky. “A stranger?”
“Depends. I’ve been watching for you.” He stepped closer, and his hand found the small of my back. He dropped his voice to a whisper. “Are you doing okay? I can’t stop thinking about what we did. It was fantastic, and I loved every second of it.”
“So did I.” I searched for words, but I didn’t want to say too much. “You’re incredible.”
His warm smile helped me take a deep breath. “Good,” he said. “Let’s grab another beer. I’d like to talk for a minute.”
My stomach fluttered. As much as I wanted to talk to Gabe, it seemed dangerous. What if he said thanks but suggested we only be friends to keep things professional? Or worse—what if he said he wanted more, and I couldn’t bring myself to leave tonight? That was the last thing that should happen because I needed space to sort out my feelings. I said the first thing that came to mind. “I was looking for you to say good night. Otto probably needs to go out.”
Gabe leaned in, and his warm breath against my ear made me shiver. “It won’t take long, and I promise I won’t bite.”
God, I wish he would. The thought hit me like a train, but I forced myself to keep a neutral expression. I’d just convinced myself we needed to slow things down, yet here I was, ready to jump back into his arms when I should’ve at least considered running for the hills.
“Something wrong?” he whispered, his breath still teasing my ear. “Can’t you spare me a minute?”
The pull between us was much stronger than my resolve, and his breath on my ear had my dick getting hard again. Considering how hard I’d come earlier, I was impressed. “Of course,” I said. “I’ll always make time for you.”
Always? Had I said always ? If I kept this up, Gabe might be the one running for the hills.
A big smile brightened his face. “I like the sound of that a lot.”
If I didn’t get off my feet soon, I might actually faint. That would be the icing on the awkward cake that had become my life, so I pointed to a nearby table with no one nearby. “Could we sit down?”
We claimed neighboring chairs, and Gabe turned so we were facing each other. His voice was warm. “I’ve really enjoyed tonight. Not just in there,” he said, nodding toward the house, “but out here too. I love spending time with you.”
“Me too.” My thready pulse was already whooshing through my ears. “It’s been nice getting to know you.”
Our gazes locked for the thousandth time that night, and after a moment, Gabe’s voice cut through the chaos in my head. “Since we both had a good time, let’s do it again.”
Unsure of exactly what he meant, I hesitated. “As long as we both want it, sure.”
His eyebrows shot upward. “Yes, I want that again, but will you go out with me?” His expression was serious now. “We could keep getting to know each other and have a good time.”
“You mean like a date?”
“Sure. I think we might be good for each other in lots of ways. Wouldn’t you like to find out?”
I couldn’t contain the smile that took over my face. “I’d like that.”
He placed a hand on top of mine, brushing his thumb over my knuckles. “How about tomorrow then? After a day at camp, it would be nice to spend some quality time having fun.”
His touch sent a shiver through me, but I kept my voice casual. “Sure. I’ll need to come home for a little rest first so I don’t fall asleep on you.”
“How’s seven? Will that give you enough time?”
“Perfect. Should I come over here?”
He shook his head, a playful glint shining in his eyes. “I haven’t made anyone walk somewhere to meet me for a date since high school, and I’m not about to start with you.”
I chuckled. “Seven it is then.”
A wave of emotions washed over me. I was nervous, but beneath that was hope, fragile but real. For the first time in a year, I wasn’t just going through the motions of life. I was about to step into something new, with another teammate, no less. Please, please don’t let this be a disaster.
We stood, and Gabe placed a hand on my back. “I’ll walk you out.”
I turned to him when we reached the gate. “Thanks for everything.”
“I’m glad you came, Brody.” He touched his arm to mine, waiting long enough for me to be sure it wasn’t an accident.
“I’m excited about tomorrow,” I said.
“Me too.” He glanced toward my house, then back at me. “Want some company on your walk?”
I couldn’t let him near my door tonight. I was too afraid I wouldn’t let him leave until morning. “I’ll take it from here.”
“Of course.” After a quick look to either side, Gabe leaned in gave me a quick kiss. “If you need anything, you know where to find me.”
I nodded. “Good night.”
“Sleep well. See you tomorrow.”
As I headed home, I couldn’t resist glancing back. Gabe was still watching me, and when he raised a hand, I waved in return.