Chapter 3 – Harper
THREE
HARPER
My timing has never been great, but I have to say, I think today takes the cake.
There was the time in middle school when I got my period for the very first time. The same day I wore the white jeans I begged my mother to buy me for months.
And the time I went on my first date after spending the day telling myself my tummy hurt because I was nervous, only to barf right on my date’s shoes when he came to the door to pick me up.
But today, when I walked in an hour early after spending the day with my two best friends to find my boyfriend making out hot and heavy with his boss’s daughter on our kitchen table is probably the worst.
“What the fuck, Jeremy?” I ask, staring at him as he moves away from the young woman with casual ease, not like a man concerned he was just caught. She, at least, has the decency to look slightly embarrassed as she sits back and straightens her shirt.
“You weren’t supposed to be home until eight,” Jeremy says, as if this is all somehow my fault. He slowly shifts and moves his hands to organize the piles of papers on the table in front of him.
“I forgot something here,” I say, no longer remembering what exactly I forgot. I think I’m in some sort of alternate reality, because I must be imagining the scene in front of me. “What is…what is going on here? How long has this been going on?”
“Oh, probably, what?” the blonde asks, losing whatever shame she had and putting on a bitchy smile. I’d only met her briefly in the past, and she seemed nice enough, but the conniving look in her eyes has me wondering if it was always a facade. “A year?”
“A year?” I ask incredulously. “How…how did this happen?” I don’t actually want the details, but it’s like I’m frozen here, unable to move or think or show any sign of self-preservation.
Jeremy stands, starting to stack the papers while he explains. “Clarissa came up to me because I was presenting the suggestions you helped me with—” I open my mouth to remind him those tweaks I’d given him on the pieces he showed me were presented to me as a way for him to talk to his boss about me. He’d told me my suggestions would help get my foot in the door, not something he would take credit for, but he keeps speaking. “And she told me she was having her debut this year with a legacy line. She was feeling uninspired and needed some guidance. I’ve been helping her, and things just…escalated.”
I stand there dumbfounded, trying to say something, anything, but all that comes out is, “Why?”
“You know, when your needs aren’t being met, you need to go elsewhere,” Clarissa says with a snide smile I want to smack off her. Didn’t she just do a press interview calling herself a girls’ girl?
“What does she have that I don't?” I ask Jeremy, my voice low and careful. Even now, in this state, I know I’ll regret asking that, much less in front of the woman he chose over me, but my grip on reality and common sense is quickly diminishing.
“She’s an Astor, for one,” he says, as if being his boss’s daughter makes her the obvious better choice. “Much more of a career boost than a pageant gown designer.”
That hits straight into my gut, especially considering I’ve confessed more times than I can count how I want to be known for more than pageant gowns, something he swore up and down for almost two years now he would help me with. All those promises of opening doors, of mentioning my name in meetings, seem pretty empty at this moment.
Was I truly this stupid, this naive all along?
Choosing the easy, solid, “safe” choice only to be completely blindsided?
“And, of course, she’s got a model’s physique.” My eyes open as I try and think of a response or at least ask him to stop telling me all of my shortcomings, but he doesn’t stop. “She’s blonde.”
“I could have dyed my hair,” I say low and impulsively, even though I love my red hair and always have. In the morning, I’ll probably be embarrassed, but right now, I’m in shock. I thought I was sticking by Jeremy, riding out the rough years when we both worked hard to build our careers so that, later, we could enjoy life together, but he was just using me as a stepping stone.
“And she’s spontaneous,” he continues as if I hadn’t spoken, and from the corner of my eye, I see Clarissa smiling at my pain, at my humiliation.
“Spontaneous? I can be spontaneous!” I say louder than I intended to.
Jeremy gives me the kind of smile you give a small child when they say they can fly or that they believe fairies exist. “Sure you are, Harper.” He might as well pat me on the head at this point. “When was the last time you were spontaneous? You plan your breakfast a month in advance.”
“It’s easier that way to shop!” I shout. “So I can make sure you have a solid breakfast every morning, like you asked.” I think of my Sunday mornings spent meal-prepping breakfasts and lunches for us while he went out golfing or sleeping in, half of which would end up in the trash or untouched when he went out for lunch or forgot them at home.
“Honey, you should really stop now,” Clarissa says, giving me a pitying look. “It’s just making you look…sad.”
I blink at her, at the woman who’s been knowingly fucking a taken man.
And what’s even worse is that she pities me, like even she knows I’ve wasted the last few years of my life catering to this man who might not have ever cared about me, who definitely never saw a future with me if he was willing to let it go so easily.
The reality hits me like a train and with one look around the room, around the house I thought would be mine forever, I nod and decide it’s best to get out before I do something stupid, like rip this girl's hair out.
“I...I’m going to leave. Go to Ava’s or Jules’ or…I don’t know.” I don’t know why I’m telling him, since he surely doesn’t care where I go. “I’ll come back another time to get my things, we can...we can coordinate. I’m just going to grab a few things.” My throat hurts with unshed tears, but I won’t give them that, I won’t give them that when clearly, there is no remorse here. I won’t make a fool of myself again.
I step away, grabbing three large bags and quickly packing up my already incredibly organized things. It takes me less than five minutes before I’m walking toward the door, ready to get to my car and sob when I’m stopped.
“Actually, before you leave, I need something from you,” Jeremy says.
When I turn around, he’s pulling out a stack of papers and handing them to me, and once again, my world comes crumbling down.
“Harper Abbott,” the bored officer says, pulling me out of my memories.
I give a tight smile to Ava and Jules in the cell beside me and stand, raising my hand.
For the first time in four years, I acted spontaneously, and it got us arrested.
“That’s me,” I say.
“Come with me,” she says, unlocking and opening the door, before motioning for me to step out. When I do, she locks the door behind us and guides me down a hallway.
“Where are we going?”
“The victim wants to speak with you,” she says bluntly, and my jaw drops.
“The victim?” I ask. Jeremy is far from a victim in this situation. For the love of God, all we did was pour some glitter on his lawn. I would happily pay to get it resodded if that’s what he needs.
“And his counsel,” she adds.
“His counsel?!” I ask, aghast. “For glittering his yard?”
She shrugs, then glances down at the paper. “Says here they’re looking to charge you with vandalism, criminal stalking, and harassment.” My stomach plummets because those are not easy, silly charges. “Oh, and littering. Fuck, what did he do to you?” she asks, looking at me in a new light.
I sigh. “Cheated on me with his boss’s daughter after stringing me along our whole relationship,” I say low, her words ricocheting in my mind.
“Damn girl, I don’t blame you,” the officer says, pausing to take a look at me. “How long were you together?”
“Four years,” I admit.
She looks at me, assessing and looking at me in a new light. “Next time, don’t get caught.”
I laugh at her advice, then nod as she opens the door to a secluded room. There’s a small metal table inside, and my stomach churns as I see my ex for the first time since that horrible night.
“Here’s how this is going to go,” Jeremy says as soon as I sit down, leaning back with his arms crossed on his chest, face smug as can be. I hate this. I hate that I gave him this, that I let my anger and frustration win in this way.
“You’re looking at a huge fine I know you probably can’t afford.” I open my mouth to argue, but he keeps talking, steamrolling me the way I now realize he always has. A lot of things have become awfully clear in the past week since the breakup, but mostly how the relationship I had convinced myself was idyllic was anything but. “As well as a list of charges that will go on your permanent record. I want you to know, if we don’t settle this right now, I’m pushing for the most I can get.”
I take in a deep breath, knowing this to be true, but then he catches me off guard again.
“This wouldn’t just destroy you, either. Julianne works with children. Ava runs a business teaching women self-defense. Having a criminal stalking record won’t look great for either of them.” My stomach drops, my head going light as a cruel smile slides across his face.
“Jeremy, come on. It was just a dumb prank.”
His lips tip up further, and he shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. In the eyes of the law, you fucked up, Harper, and you’re at my mercy. Unless you want your friends to suffer.”
It’s then it all really hits me: he never loved me. Not even for a minute.
I’m shaking when I leave the room, leaving Jeremy. Jules and Ava meet me in the waiting room before we’re released. It’s a full-body shake like a freaking chihuahua, my hands barely able to sign my name as I get my things back.
“Are you okay?” Ava asks, reading me, but I put on my mask and give her a small smile.
I’ve always been good with a mask, hiding all of these unnecessary and incredibly pesky emotions away where they can’t bother me at all. “Totally fine,” I say back.
Jules gives me a hard look, opening her mouth to say something, probably to call me out on my bullshit. Fortunately, our names are called again, and I’m saved from further interrogation as we walk to the front of the police station.
“You’re in so much trouble,” Jaime says as soon as we’re in sight, quickly walking our way and pulling Ava into his arms.
“You promise?” Ava says with a sneaky smile, and her husband looks down at her, a look of all-consuming adoration with just the barest hint of irritation written across his face for all to see before he smiles and presses his lips to hers, mumbling something I can’t and probably don’t want to hear.
“Sorry,” Jules says as she walks to her fiancé, Nate, who pulls her into his arms. “The forking was what took the longest. Probably could have done without it.” She gives him a hesitant smile, and he shakes his head, rolling his eyes at her. He’s more entertained than Jaime looks, and considering the stories I’ve heard about him and his sisters pranking each other, it tracks.
“Told you to stick to just the glitter,” he whispers low, pulling her into him.
“Yeah, yeah. Where’s Sophie?” she asks, looking around for Nate's now six-year-old daughter, who is nowhere to be seen.
“With Claire. She’s very excited to hear about your time in the clink.”
Jules’s head moves back, looking at Nate with confusion. “You told Sophie I got arrested?”
“No, Claire did. She’s very interested in having a criminal in the family. Pretty sure she activated the family phone tree to spread the news.”
“Dear God,” Jules groans, putting her face in Nate’s chest as he chuckles, the sound filling the cold and lifeless police station.
And as I stand there, watching my two best friends, the two women I would give everything in the world up for, the two women I did just give so much up to protect, in the arms of the men they love, the glaring evidence of the families they’re creating in front of me, it hits me.
I have no one.
I’m an only child who rarely speaks to her divorced parents except for the requisite holiday or birthday call. I’m single after leaving my long-term relationship, and I’m quickly being left behind, at no fault to my friends.
It’s at this moment that I realize why I stayed for so long. Even when Jeremy made me feel like shit or when I knew logically I would and could never have something lasting with him. If I’d been brave and ended things long before they got out of control, I wouldn’t have to face this all-consuming loneliness.
My friends have found their people and are making their own families, and I’m…not. That clock I had hidden under a pillow starts ticking loudly, telling me I’m running out of time to figure out what I want out of my life and who I want to spend it with.
A familiar face walks up to me as I keep my gaze on my two best friends. His hand gently touches my elbow before pulling back like he crossed some invisible line he isn’t sure he is allowed past and knocking me out of my trance.
“Hey, Wes,” I say with a tight smile, giving a tiny wave to the guitarist of Atlas Oaks. Although Jaime is the bodyguard for the band, I’m not sure why he’s here. Over his shoulder, I see Ava give me wide eyes and a smile, always telling me she thinks Wes is the cutest of the AO guys. I roll mine in response.
Of course I’m not oblivious that Wes is cute with his messy, longish, sun-kissed brown hair and the worn, dark brown leather jacket he always wears pulled over broad shoulders in a way that looks badass but also casual, like he’s just a normal guy when he’s anything but.
And he’s tall, towering over my five foot five frame.
A deadly triple combination.
“You okay?” he asks, taking my jacket from my hands and holding it up for me, ever the gentleman. At Ava’s wedding, we were paired together as bridesmaid and groomsman, so I’m used to his kindness.
I turn, too tired and burned out and hurt to even argue, and slide my still shaking hands into the sleeves.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lie. His fingers slide gently along the skin of my neck, gathering my hair and tugging it gently out of the neck of my jacket before I turn and give him a smile. “What are you doing here?”
His boyish, crooked smile takes over his face, a stark contrast to the evil one I saw minutes ago, a dimple on his cheek catching my eye. “We were all together when Jaime got the call. As soon as I heard Ava had been arrested, I knew I had to come and see what was up. You three always have the best chaos going on.”
I let out a small laugh and shake my head. “Yeah, getting arrested for littering my ex’s lawn is just…wonderful.”
“Kind of iconic, actually. Very rock star of you. And I would know, you know, being one,” he says. I can’t fight off the smile that tugs at my lips as I give him a shake of my head. “I’m serious. Jagger would be proud.”
“Yes, dumping pounds of glitter onto someone’s lawn is so very rock and roll of us.”
He shrugs. “I don’t make the rules. I just enforce them when I see them,” he says, then holds my gaze for a moment longer than necessary, only stopping when Jaime speaks.
“All right, let’s go,” he says loud enough for everyone to hear. “Before Ava does something stupid and gets all of us locked up.”
Ava shoves his shoulder, or tries to, but the man is a fucking mountain, and she is virtually a Pixie Hollow fairy.
“I’m hungry,” Ava says as Jaime slides her jacket on her, similarly to how Wes just did to me.
“Ava, we ate like…” I look at my watch, realizing it was probably almost five hours ago that we ate dinner. Strangely enough, I’m not hungry at all.
“Exactly,” Ava says, then puts a hand to her belly. “I’m hungry. Let’s eat.”
“My girl wants food, she gets food. Everyone into the SUV. You guys need to get back to Sophie?” Jaime asks Nate, who shakes his head.
“Nah, my sister’s got her.”
“Wes, you got anything pressing?” Wes shakes his head.
“I can always eat,” he says with a grin.
No one asks me, because what do I have to go home to? Still, Wes puts a hand to my lower back, urging me to Jaime’s giant boat of a car before we drive to an all-night diner.
And even though I smile as everyone laughs and jokes about the night, all I can think about is just how lost I feel.