Chapter 23 – Wes
TWENTY-THREE
WES
I’ve been up for a while. I’m a morning person, always have been, something that for most of my life was a pain in the ass. It’s rough when you're in a band, going to bed at two in the morning, only for your body to wake you up at six.
But for once in my life, I’m grateful for this trait of mine. That’s because I’ve been lying here, Harper’s naked body curled up into mine, her breathing soft and easy as I rub a hand up and down her back, occasionally brushing her hair back and savoring this moment. I don’t know what version of her I’m going to have when she wakes: the one who jumped or the one who’s scared, but either way, I’m ready.
Because last night only cemented that I’m never letting Harper go.
Although the sex was fucking phenomenal, last night was about connecting with her on a deeper level, and the smile on her face while we cleaned up. It’s about how after, we stayed up late, laying together and talking about a future where there’s no pressure. It was about Harper’s walls finally tumbling down, about her fear abating for just long enough for me to slip in.
About being with her, truly and finally.
About Harper being officially mine.
“Morning,” her voice says, croaking with sleep as she shifts.
I look down at her and smile, shaking my head.
“Good morning, beautiful,” I whisper, brushing her hair back again.
She blinks, and I think she may have fallen back asleep before her green eyes are on me once more, a smile on her lips.
“You seem serious,” she says before rolling on top of me, her bare chest to mine. My hands move again, shifting her hair and running them down her back. She sighs in pleasure, her eyes drifting shut with the gentle movement. She likes that, getting her hair played with, and if she wants to make that noise and face every time, I’ll do it forever.
“Just...thinking.”
“What about?” she asks, resting her chin on her hands folded on my chest. Looking down at her, I feel it again, that feeling like finally, I have that…thing I’ve been missing. Watching Stella and Riggins fall back in love made me yearn for a story of my own, wishing for someone to be that for me.
Except now I feel like I’m living my own story, like I’ve been blessed to find this person, my person , after so many years of thinking she didn’t exist. It’s a relief of sorts, but there’s a niggling feeling in the back of my head.
“I’ve spent the last few years feeling guilty,” I start to explain, then move my eyes to stare at the ceiling, avoiding Harper’s curious gaze.
“Guilty? How so?”
I look at her quickly, shaking my head to make sure she knows it isn’t about us.
“I live a life thousands of people would kill to live. Living my dream, touring the world, playing music. I have more money than I could ever need and spend every day with my best friends. I go out, I party, I can have any woman I want.”
“Excuse me?” Harper says cutting me off, humor in the world as she pinches my side.
“I only want you, little wife,” I whisper, eyes genuine as I brush her soft hair back. “But the last few years, it’s felt…routine. Boring. Like I was missing something.” Her breathing hitches as if she knows what I’m getting at, but I keep talking. “The parties lost their glimmer, lost their excitement after a while. These once-in-a-lifetime events turned ordinary. It’s a strange feeling, becoming numb to something another version of you would have given everything to have. But seeing you last night reminded me of how lucky I am.”
“You worked hard, honey,” she whispers, her hand reaching up to brush the backs of her fingers along my scruff.
“I know. I know, and the guys did too, and we earned this. I know that. But something… something was always missing, and it has been eating at me for a while now. I should be loving this rock star lifestyle, and instead, I felt guilty because I was missing something I couldn’t explain.”
She’s biting her lip, taking me in, and I wrap an arm around her waist, holding her to me and brushing a thumb over her lips.
“ This is what I’ve missed,” I whisper.
“What, me naked in your bed? You could have had this a long time ago, bud,” she jokes, and I smile, but I shake my head all the same
“No. No, and it wouldn’t have been like this if we just jumped in, if we didn’t build us before we got here. Because I was missing this .” I pause, taking in a deep breath, fighting past the need to brush over feelings and instead share them with Harper. “The morning after. The calmness, the easiness. Having someone to wake up to, someone you know, someone you want to spend the whole day with. Someone you can dissect the night before with over breakfast.” Her eyes go wider. “Someone to cure the hangover and clean up after the party. This?” I ask, then gesture between us. “This is what I was missing.”
“Wes.”
I roll us, shifting so we’re on our sides, eye to eye.
“Everyone wants to be there for the party, the craziness and excitement, and the rock and roll of it all. I’ve never had someone there for me.”
She watches me contemplatively, and something must click as she tips her head to the side and smiles. “Is that why you wanted to wait?” I shrug, but the blush on my cheeks definitely gives me away. “You know I’m not with you for the whole…rock star lifestyle.”
“It wasn’t just that,” I say. “I didn’t want to rush things with you because I knew I wanted us to be something special.”
“Who knew you were such a romantic?” she says gently after a pause, running her hand through my hair, pushing it back, and reading my face.
I smile at her. “You could have if you weren’t so stubborn.”
She stares at me, and even though I expect her to argue with me, as is her way, she doesn’t. Instead, she contemplates what I said, thinking before finally she speaks in a whisper. “I’m glad I woke up.”
“What?”
“I’m glad I woke up in time to have you, that I opened my eyes and realized what was right in front of me. Before you got tired of waiting, before you got frustrated over the fact that I was being so stubborn.”
I roll again, this time so she’s below me and I’m hovering over the top of her, caging her in. I want her in a place where there’s no escape from what I’m about to tell her.
“I see you still don’t get it. I’m going to tell it to you straight, Harper, so don’t freak out.” Her eyes go wide with nerves, but I continue on. “I would have waited forever. If it meant we’d get here, in my bed, together with no pretense, I would have waited an eternity for you to be ready. I didn’t want to rush things, for you to sit there in a few months or in a year, wondering if you made the right choice. I needed you to know you were making this decision because you wanted to. Because you wanted not just me, but us. I didn’t want there to be even the smallest chance you’d look at last night and regret it.”
I smile at her, at her shocked face, and brush my fingers over her cheek.
“You said you wanted to be spontaneous, but this? This was never spontaneous, Harper. Not for me, at least, and one day I think you’ll see it wasn’t for you either. You’ll see you were so willing to jump in because you knew to your bones this was right.”
She lays there beneath me, silent, taking in my words, and I watch her—watch her thoughts and feelings, and finally, fears drift over her face.
“What if...what if you change your mind?” she asks nervously, and my brows furrow, not understanding. “What if you change your mind? I’m boring, Wes. I’m type A, I’m safe, and I overthink every move I make?—”
I shake my head. “Since when?” I ask because she keeps saying that, but I think she’s convinced herself of it, that she isn’t spontaneous or fun or exciting.
“What?”
“Since when do you overthink everything?”
“Uh, since I was ten, and I came back to school three days after Marcie Klein told me my shoes were ugly and I told her she was a rude girl and that she should really think about how her words impacted other people because I’d thought about it all weekend and weighed my options and decided I didn’t want to be too mean and hurt her feelings but that hitting her would absolutely get me into too much trouble, so some heartfelt advice would be the best line of action.”
I smile wider, shaking my head at her because that’s so Harper, to come back with the most specific evidence to prove her point.
“You agreed to marry me,” I tell her point-blank. “On a whim. After bidding ten thousand dollars on a date with me.”
She tips her head back and forth. “Yeah, I know, and that’s why I’m concerned that one day, you’re going to wake up and realize this should have stayed fake because I tricked you, and I’m actually really boring and?—”
“And then you married me within a week.”
She shrugs. “Because I wanted to prove a point.”
“You glittered your ex’s lawn.”
“And it got me arrested.”
“You know what I mean, Harper. You’re brave and smart and kind and funny, and whether or not you believe it, you’re spontaneous, too, in your own way.” She opens her mouth to speak, but I shake my head, stopping her. “And even if you weren’t, even if you were the most predictable person, even if you planned your outfits and meals and fucking bathroom breaks a year out, I’d still be wild for you.”
She stares at me and opens her mouth.
“No. We’re not arguing about that. Come on,” I say, then slap her ass and roll out of the bed. “We can argue about how boring you are after I feed you breakfast.”
I reach for the bed, tugging on the blanket she buried herself under, and she squeals, giggling. She tries to grab the fluffy white blanket and pull it up to cover her, but I’m stronger, and soon the covers are in the corner of the floor. I pull on a pair of boxers from my drawer and walk toward her, grabbing her arm and pulling her to the side of the bed.
“Wes!”
“I need to feed my wife. You lay there looking too tempting, we’re never leaving this house.”
“I don’t see a problem with that,” she counters, and I glare at her. Then she lets out a little yawn, using her hand to cover it but failing. Looking at her and then the time, which is still earlier than she’s normally up, I let go, stepping away from the bed. I pull on a pair of shorts, then move to the blanket and toss it over her.
“Change of plans. I’m going for a run while you take a nap. Then we’re going to take a shower together where I’ll probably fuck you because by my calculations, it’s been much too long since I was last in you, and then I’m taking you to breakfast.”
She blushes and bites her lip, then looks at me. “Breakfast?”
“I want to take you out. Our first outing as something more.” I step closer to the bed, rolling onto it and pulling her closer until we’re bare chest to bare chest. My hand sinks into her tangled hair, holding her face close to mine. “You’re mine now, and I want to show you off.”
“What have the last two months been?” she asks breathily.
“It’s been wooing you,” I say matter-of-factly, pressing my lips to hers before standing again and moving to grab a sweatshirt.
“Wooing!?” she asks with a laugh.
I shake my head and smile.
“Nap,” I say, grabbing a pair of socks and heading out the door. “You’ll need the energy.”