Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
I wake to a nose nuzzling my ear, soft lips kissing my neck.
Lewis’s heartbeat thrums against my back, a thick arm wrapped around my waist and urging me closer to his hard frame.
I roll over and press my face to smooth skin, listening to the steady rhythm in his chest that seems to spike when my fingers glide over his lower stomach.
He braces his weight on his arms and leans over me, one knee between my legs. His lips trail a path down my neck to the top of my breast. I should be comatose after the mudder yesterday and what we did in the shower, but naughty thoughts tumble one over the other—until I remember why we’re here.
His hooded eyes skim my body. “Hey.” I tap his shoulder and he glances up. “We were supposed to talk yesterday. Are you trying to orgasm me into submission?”
“Hmm.” His gaze narrows on my mouth as if he’s actually considering it.
“Lewis”—I splay my hand on his chest, because it’s so close and teasing me with its hotness, and how can I not touch it?—“we have to talk.”
“Okay.” He rubs my breast the way I’m rubbing his chest. I drop my hand and frown. He stares, all innocence. “You started that.”
I tug the sheet between us and this time he scowls, pulling me and the sheet closer.
“Fine.” His gaze turns introspective. “The night you came to my house, I was hosting an intervention.” He looks at me, playfully accusing.
“Had you stuck around, you would have seen my parents arrive minutes later. I tried to call you, but your phone was turned off or something—the calls went straight to voice mail. I couldn’t leave, because I was the organizer of the intervention. ”
I smile sheepishly. I was a bit impulsive that night. My fears had gotten the best of me.
He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Mira’s a mess. She’s always been fragile. Ever since we found her.”
“When she was three.”
He nods, lips compressed. “No matter what she wants people to believe, she is like a sister. When it’s only the two of us, we tease and joke and there’s none of the clinginess she exhibits around everyone else.
She’s just—Mira. But… she can’t stand the thought of losing me.
And it’s not what you think,” he adds quickly.
“It’s not like that. She flirts to keep people away, and believe me, it’s damned annoying.
I’ve told her to knock it off, but—well—she doesn’t exactly listen.
Maybe a part of her believes I’d be a safe person to be with, but she’s not thinking right.
Neither of us feels that way about the other. ”
He’s her safe choice? Wow, how different she and I are.
“We’re close, closer than she is with my parents. Mira’s father died when she was a baby and her mother is a mess. That woman has done her best to ruin Mira. I’ve told Mira she won’t lose me, but she doesn’t get it. It’s a completely irrational fear.”
He rolls onto his side and scoots down until his face is inches from mine.
“I want to be with you. Like all the time. If I didn’t worry you’d freak out, I’d ask you to move in with me.
I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.
I hate that I allowed my relationship with Mira to come between us and made you feel like you were some kind of afterthought to me.
I’ve been doing everything I can to get Mira help so that changes and you never feel that way again, but I won’t abandon her. ”
I’m still stuck several sentences back. He wants me to move in with him?
My heart is on overdrive and I’m trying to get it to simmer down and stop pounding so loudly in my ears, so I can hear what he’s saying. “I don’t want you to abandon her. That’s why—”
He presses a finger to my lips. “Let me finish. Mira is perceptive. She knows me and she sees how I am around you. I’m convinced that’s why she’s acting crazy, but it’s more than that. She needs to see a counselor. She’s needed to for a long time, but this gambling thing clinches it.”
He sighs and rubs his forehead. “I should have told you what was going on. I thought it would be less complicated if I just fixed it, but that made everything worse. I’ve never been this serious about anyone before and I screwed up. I wasn’t there for you when you needed me.”
“You couldn’t know—”
“Not the casino. I had the guys looking out for you and I’m glad I did.
If that asshole—” He shakes his head sharply and breathes through his nose.
“I’m talking about when you discovered your dad.
I should have checked in more, made sure you were okay.
I didn’t want to weigh you down with my stuff when you were already going through so much. ”
“But I want to be burdened. Despite how I might appear, I’m not weak.”
He stares disbelievingly. “Are you kidding? You’re the toughest girl I know, but it doesn’t change the fact that I instinctively want to protect you.”
Okay, that’s kind of sweet. And hot. I kiss his lips. “You need to let me in. Don’t shut me out.”
He lets out a self-deprecating chuckle. “Believe me, lesson learned.”
“What’s going to happen to Mira?”
“The counselor said her gambling is a way to fill the void inside her. Mira sees me retreating to spend time with you and she doesn’t know how to give me space.”
“What about your parents? Can they help?”
“They have, but she latched on to me when we were young and she never let go.” He absently rubs the scar on his lip.
It’s jagged and violent looking. “How did you get that?”
He smoothes a lock of hair from my forehead.
“I was sixteen. Mira wanted to visit her mom. She didn’t return after a few hours and I was worried about her, so I went looking.
” He swallows, his hand stilling. “The door to her mom’s house was unlocked.
I heard noises. I walked in and… he was beating Mira, her mother’s boyfriend.
Blood everywhere. I thought she was dead. ”
He kisses my forehead, breathing in my scent as if to calm himself. “I was tall for sixteen. I ripped the guy off her and punched him in the face as hard as I could—broke his nose. I thought he’d back off.
“When I crouched to help Mira, she was crying. I was so relieved she was alive I didn’t hear the bottle break or see the guy coming, but Mira’s eyes widened. I turned and knocked the glass out of his hand before he stabbed me in the back. A broken edge caught the corner of my mouth.”
I kiss the scar and press my lips to his. “I’m so sorry. I’m glad she had you.”
“It was a long time ago,” he says. “I want her to get real help. I thought she was getting better.”
My eyes scrunch with incredulity.
He blinks and looks away. “Not entirely better, but better than she is now. I’ve dated and she’s been somewhat okay with it. It wasn’t until I met you that I realized she wasn’t okay, not after she saw my reaction to you. She’s scared of having no one.”
He links our fingers and holds them between us.
“Genevieve, I—I think I fell in love with you that first night.” He rubs his forehead and smiles guiltily.
“Maybe it was lust at first sight. However it started, it’s grown into something I didn’t recognize because I’d never felt this way before.
I’m lighter when you’re near, happy. You’re challenging and wonderful, and so beautiful inside and out, it’s blinding.
Please, give us a chance. Let me love you. ”
I will not cry at that sweet recitation. This conversation isn’t finished. “I’ve never let anyone get as close as you. Don’t keep me on the sidelines. I need to know it’s you and me in this together.”
“Yes.” He presses our interlaced hands above his heart and kisses me until my lower back tingles. “Always.”
He leans over and I kiss him with everything I have. “I love you,” I say. “I missed you so much. This was all I ever wanted. Just us.”