39. Ian
“A dog,Ian? Seriously? What the hell is wrong with you?”
More than three-thousand miles and a whole fucking ocean between us, and Liane’s shrill screech still nearly punctured my eardrum before I’d finished saying ‘hello’.
“Damn!” I yanked the phone from my ear. “Calm your tits.”
“All you had to do was be there for her if she needed anything and make sure she didn’t get stressed out, yet you thought it would be a good idea to get her a dog. Why, Ian, why?”
I sat up in bed and stretched, then threw the blanket off and padded toward the bathroom. After Madison sent me packing, I’d found a motel just outside of the city. It wasn’t ideal, but at least I wasn’t far.
“I didn’t get her a dog,” I said, stifling a yawn. “I got my kid a dog.” Speaking of said dog, Finn scrambled off the bed, tumbled end-over-end, and bounded after me.
With the phone cradled between my shoulder and my ear, I raised the lid on the toilet, grabbed my dick, and took a piss.
A low growl came from the other end of the phone. “Please don’t tell me you’re using the bathroom while talking to me on the phone.”
“Fine, I won’t, but that being said, please don’t call and wake me out of a sound sleep just to scream at me about nonsense.”
That shut her up—for about a second.
“Ian,” Liane swapped out her screeching voice for the one that implied she was inordinately patient. As if I’d fall for it. It was the voice she used with me more than any of the other guys. “Madison isn’t an animal person. She’s never had a dog. Or a cat. Not even a goldfish. You can’t bring her a dog and expect her to welcome it with open arms.”
“Finn’s a great dog—a purebred Golden Retriever. He’s little; only a puppy. And besides, like I told Maddie, Finn’s not for her; he’s for the baby.”
“Ian,” she said, pretending patience. “I know your heart’s in the right place. I think Madison will come to realize that too—eventually. But is a puppy really the right gift for a woman who’s enduring a difficult pregnancy, who also has a demanding business to run, and who will be a single mother?”
I flushed the toilet. “What about me?”
Liane signed loudly.
“What about you, Ian? What does any of this have to do with you?”
“You don’t get it do you? Neither of you do.”
“What don’t we get?”
“First of all, the dog is for the baby?—”
“Ian!”
And she’s back.
“That baby won’t be able to take care of a dog for years!”
“Noted.” I popped a pod into the Keurig and pressed the button to brew. “I’m trying to do things for my kid, Liane. When I first learned Maddie was pregnant and decided I was going to be part of this kid’s life, I started reading everything I could about babies.”
The line went quiet again. Maybe there was some transatlantic delay or something.
“You’re reading books about pregnancy?”
“Surprised? What do you take me for? Some backwoods bumpkin?”
“I take you for a bone-headed fuckboy who wants to sleep around and be the life of the party.” Her words were a knife to the chest. “No offense.”
I snorted. “Forgive me if I take great offense.”
“I’m serious, Ian. I can’t help being more than a little surprised. You carried on like a madman when you first found out Madison was pregnant. You gave yourself a concussion!”
“You say that like it was intentional.”
“I’m speechless. Other than the whole dog thing, I’m actually proud of you.”
“Did it hurt to say that?”
“Not gonna lie; little bit.” She laughed.
“Other than your need to scream at me about the dog, was there another reason for this call?”
She sighed. “Yeah, there is. Madison wants me to return to the States, but I can’t yet. I’m over here trying to prevent an international incident.”
“Man, you’ve got some fucked-up clients,” I snickered, having been one of said clients for the last few years. But to be honest, I never did anything that might’ve gotten the government involved.
“Tell me about it.”
“Seriously, why are you calling me? If you need me to fly to London and set that motherfucker straight, you’re out of luck. I’ve got to take care of my baby mama.”
“She tossed you out, Ian.”
“I know, and I’m working on it.”
“I hate to say it, but she’s an emotional mess right now, and there’s no one she can depend on. I’m calling in some favors, but I need to know that you’re nearby in case I can’t make it happen.”
“Liane, I appreciate your concern, but I got this.”
“I’d like to say that’s comforting, Ian, but I’m not there yet. Your heart’s in the right place, but?—”
This was such bullshit. “But what? Because I was excited and bought my kid a dog?”
“Ian…” Here we go with that voice again. “You’re not partners. You’re not even co-parents. At least not yet.”
“Did she tell you about the nursery? Huh? I’m sure she already looked, even though she wasn’t supposed to. She didn’t like it, did she? It’s not cold and sterile like she is.” Fuck, that’s not what I wanted to say.
“Ian—”
My anger at Liane and myself bubbled over. “Don’t Ian me, okay? This conversation is over. You do whatever you need to do and let me do the same. And then maybe, somehow, one of you will finally have a little faith in me and stop treating me like the village idiot.”
I jammed my finger against the end button so hard I sent my phone skittering across the tiny kitchenette. Finn scampered after it, batting it around and sending it sliding under the stove.
“Damn it, dog. Don’t you go pissing me off too. I’m the only one on your side right now.”
Still naked, since I’d been sound asleep when Liane called, I got down on all fours and tried to wedge my hand under the stove but couldn’t get any deeper than my knuckles. Then Finn took me being on the floor as his cue to start roughhousing with me, and before I knew it, he shoved his cold, wet nose between my legs. I lurched and slammed my head into the stove.
This day had barely begun, and it sucked as much as yesterday.