Never Say Never: Gravel Hill Boys Book Two

44. Madison

One day at a time.I could do that. It was reasonable and logical, and it seemed like the best approach. Despite me being ready to jump him the minute I saw him outside my door.

While Ian waited, I went upstairs to change and call Liane—who I’d been expecting earlier when Ian arrived—to let her know that Ian was back and that we were going for a walk.

“Perfect,” she said. “I’m tired, and my bed is calling me.”

“You didn’t sleep on the plane?” I loved flying, although I couldn’t imagine being trapped in a seat for six or seven hours. I’d never go anywhere if that were the case. Then again, my family had three private jets in service and a helicopter, so it wasn’t really an issue.

“Not really. My mind wouldn’t settle down. So if you don’t need me, I’m going to catch up on my beauty sleep and pop over in the morning so we can catch up. Does that work for you?”

“Yes, of course. Ian’s here and we’re about to go for a walk with the dog.”

There was a silent pause.

“Really?” she finally spoke. “Is everything okay between you two?”

“I think so. I got to know more about him this weekend with his mother and sisters being here. I’m seeing him through a different pair of eyes.”

“I’m glad, Maddie. I am. He can be the biggest pain in my ass, but I’ve tried to tell you, he also has a huge heart. And since this whole baby daddy thing came about, he’s changed. Now, I’ve been away for a while, but according to Beau, our little Ian’s growing up.”

I laughed. “Stop it. You’re as bad as his sisters.”

“I mean it. Him pulling out of the tour is going to cause me more headaches, but I’ll deal with it gladly.”

I tugged a camel ribbed-knit turtleneck over my head and grabbed the phone. “What are you talking about? Pulled out of what tour?”

“He didn’t tell you?”

I hadn’t given him a whole lot of time to tell me anything, having attached myself to him like an octopus the moment he walked in.

“No.”

“The Gravel Hill Boys are leaving soon for a three-month tour that wraps up right before Christmas. Ian told Beau this past weekend that he’s not going. Said he won’t leave you. They had a big argument over it, but Ian stood his ground. Told them to find a replacement.”

I dropped onto the end of the bed. “He didn’t mention it. Should I talk to him about it? Tell him to go? I mean, if you’re around, I should be fine.” Of course, if I were to go into labor early, he might miss it. Would it matter? There was no denying that I wanted him there, but I was used to being let down by the people in my life. I learned a long time ago not to depend on anyone. This shouldn’t be any different. It’s not like I needed him to deliver the baby or anything. There were doctors and hospitals for all that.

“Absolutely not,” she scolded. “Don’t you dare. He wants to be there for you, Maddie. Let him. It’s his baby too.”

“Yes, but the band?—”

“The band will survive.”

“As PR professionals, that’s not the stance we should be taking.”

“I agree, but we’ll explain exactly why he’s not with the band.”

“But I’m not sure I want?—”

“Relax. I’ve already spoken with Ian. You won’t be mentioned unless and until you’re ready. We can, however, announce that he’s going to be a father and will be stepping back for a short time. The fans will understand and be supportive. For the most part.”

“I don’t want to be chased around by paparazzi.”

“And you won’t be, because everyone thinks he’s in Savannah or Nashville. No one is going to be looking for him in Philadelphia. And even if reporters start nosing around Ashwood, it’s a small town and small towns protect their own. No one would out him if he’s there. So don’t worry. Besides, it doesn’t hurt to get the message out that he’s off the market.”

“Liane—”

“Will you just calm down?”

“I’m calm.” I was not calm. “We’re taking things one day at a time.”

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. Now go take a walk with your baby daddy.”

She laughed when I hissed at her.

“Chill. I’ll see you tomorrow. My bed is calling and I need to answer it.”

“Go. Rest. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

I finished getting ready, grabbing a knit beanie and dark glasses. Not that anyone would recognize me as Ian Donohue’s baby mama—dear God, I was doing it myself now—but if they recognized him while we were out walking, it wouldn’t be all that hard to figure out who I was.

Ian was waiting at the bottom of the stairs as I descended, beaming up at me. When I reached the bottom step, which put us at eye level, he placed his hands on my hips. “You look beautiful.” He grinned. “I’d bet anything that you are the most beautiful pregnant woman in the city. Hell, the entire state. Fuck that, the universe.”

“I think this one day at a time thing is going to be pretty easy,” I said, looping my arms around his neck.

He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I think so too.”

We took the elevator down to the seventh floor. When we got to the door of his studio, instead of unlocking it, he pressed his ear against the panel. “No barking,” he said. “That’s a good sign.”

I hadn’t even thought of that. Ian unlocked the door, and I stood there, eyes closed, back stiff, bracing myself for a giant ball of yellow fluff to jump on me.

“What are you doing?” he asked with a chuckle.

I peeked one eye open. “Waiting to get jumped.”

“He’s in the cage, and I’ve been trying to train him not to jump. Let me grab a treat before I let him out.”

Ian’s studio was small, especially compared to my place. It would be criminal to let him stay down here, but one day at a time would be a lot easier if we weren’t in each other’s space all the time. So instead of pointing out how small it was, as if he hadn’t noticed, I bit my tongue and prepared for the dog.

“Ready?” Ian asked.

“Who are you talking to? Me or Finn?”

“You.” He laughed. “He’s plenty ready.”

The crate rattled and Finn whimpered and scratched, dancing and jumping against the sides. His fluffy golden tail wagged wildly as Ian spoke softly, telling him to be good and to sit. Finn did as he was told although his lower half kept right on wiggling and he looked about to wag himself right out of his fur coat.

“Madison, come closer and I’ll hold his collar so he knows not to jump, okay?”

I looked down at my knit pants. They’d be ruined the first time he jumped.

“Maybe I should run back upstairs and change,” I offered. “Or better yet, you should go walk him and I’ll wait for you upstairs.”

“It’s up to you, but I promise, I won’t let him jump. Come closer, and I’ll hold onto his collar. And when I have him on the leash, I’ll keep it short enough that he can’t jump on you. Okay?”

I inched forward. “Are you sure?”

“I promise. He’s not going to hurt you. I would’ve never gotten us a dog that would hurt you or the baby.”

Us? I liked the sound of that.

“Okay.”

I stood about three feet from the crate. Finn hopped and spun and yipped. It was probably his version of barking since he was too little to make a sound that resembled a bark.

“Ready?”

I stood as stiff and as tall as I could, curled my hands into fists, and prayed the dog wouldn’t jump and destroy my knit slacks. “Ready.”

Ian opened the cage and grabbed hold of Finn’s collar. He snapped on the leash and gave him only about a foot of freedom. He then commanded him to sit, and while his tail thumped on the floor with barely contained excitement, he sat and waited for his treat.

This was the first good look I got at him, and while a dog hadn’t been on my wish list, I had to admit that this one was cute. He was a soft, golden blond and looked like a pudgy stuffed toy. He had a black button nose, and strangely, he appeared to be smiling.

I relaxed my body and stepped a little closer.

“Want to pet him?”

I did and I didn’t. There was no danger in getting attached. It was Ian’s dog, but if he planned to have it around the baby, I should at least tolerate it.

It wriggled and made sounds like a squeaky toy, but remained seated while Ian cooed softly and told him what a good boy he was. I was a tiny bit jealous.

“Hold your palm out,” Ian said, “and let him sniff your hand.”

I did as he suggested, and Finn’s wriggly bottom lifted off the floor.

“Sit,” Ian commanded. Finn sat immediately, although he looked like he wanted to do anything but. “Good boy.”

Finn licked my hand, and while it was gross, I held my tongue and didn’t pull away.

I did, however, wash my hands before we left the apartment.

True to his word, Ian kept Finn on a short leash and away from me as we rode the elevator down to the lobby. When we stepped out onto the sidewalk, Ian switched the leash to his left hand and stood on the street side like a gentleman. That shouldn’t have surprised me. After meeting most of his family, I knew he’d been raised right. He was a dichotomy from the playboy I’d hooked up with at the Four Seasons, to the man I’d just learned had not only sold his testosterone-fueled sports car because he was going to be a father, but he’d also taken a step back from his job to remain by my side.

Ian Donohue had my head spinning, and when he took my hand in his and wove our fingers together, I had to admit, I swooned.

We walked at an easy pace. Finn, for the most part, handled the leash well. It was all good until we got to Rittenhouse Square and he squatted near the entrance to the park.

“What’s he doing?” I whispered loudly.

Ian laughed. “What’s it look like?”

“Yes, but, he shouldn’t do that here.” I expected a police officer to appear out of nowhere and issue us a ticket.

“No worries.” Ian produced a blue plastic bag from his pocket. To my horror, the moment Finn finished his business, Ian swooped down and scooped up the small pile while I gagged at the idea of it.

“What are you doing?” I took a step back.

“Cleaning up after my dog like a responsible city pet owner.” He walked over to a trash receptacle at the entrance to the park and dropped the bag inside.

I dug in my purse and produced a packet of wet wipes. “Here. Clean your hands,” I insisted. Finn, for his part, looked excited to explore one of the city’s iconic squares.

Overly dramatic, Ian cleaned his hands and tossed the wipes into the trash. When he reached for my hand again, I held it behind me. “No thanks,” I said, causing him to laugh and shake his head.

“Suit yourself, but what are you going to do when our baby takes a shit.”

Crude, but I couldn’t help but like hearing him say, our baby.

“That’s different.”

“Is it? Shit is shit.”

“Stop saying shit.” I elbowed him. “It’s not a word I want associated with our baby.”

I liked when I said it too.

Ian wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me to a bench. I sat while he leaned on the back of the bench and gave Finn more room to run in the grass while still on his leash.

“What are you going to do when he gets bigger? Your house isn’t exactly conducive to a large dog roaming about. Even if he’s well-trained.”

Without taking his eyes off Finn, who was rolling in the grass, he said, “It’s not a problem. I sold the house and this coming weekend, everything inside, other than my guitars and clothes, is going up for auction.”

I swiveled as far as my belly would allow. “Are you serious? I know I teased you about it looking like a museum, but Ian, that house… It’s amazing. You had to have put so much time and effort into curating it. It was like stepping back in time.” I struggled for words. “How could you just walk away from it like that? I don’t understand.”

He whistled, and Finn trotted back to him and sat, waiting for his treat. Then Ian walked around the bench and took a seat beside me while Finn plopped down between us and rested his furry little head on his front paws. I couldn’t help it; I leaned forward and scratched the top of his soft, little head.

Ian took my hand and I didn’t resist this time. “I’m all in, Maddie. Did I love that house? Yeah, I did. It was a showpiece, and I was proud of it. But in the end, it was just stuff. I’m not sure it was ever really me. It was more like some kind of vision I’d had; a way for me to tell the world that I’d made it. Me, Ian Donohue, the scrawny kid from Nowhere, West Virginia had become someone of consequence. That house and my car screamed money. And for a time, I loved it and all that came with it. The attention. The fans. The fame.” He turned my hand over in his and ran a calloused finger over my palm before engulfing it in his. He raised his eyes to look into mine. “The women.”

A lump grew in my throat, and I struggled to swallow it down.

“I’m twenty-seven years old, Madison. I’ve met a beautiful girl and she’s going to make me a daddy. Was this the direction my life was heading before we met?” He chuckled. “Hell no.” He raised my hand to his lips and placed a gentle kiss on my knuckles. “You probably think I’m trippin’ or something, but like I said, I’m all in. I don’t need a home in Savannah that’s neither kid-friendly or dog-friendly and a plane-ride away from you. I don’t need a fast car that I’d never feel comfortable putting my kid in.”

“But…where are you going to live?”

“It’s time to come home. We’re having a baby. Shouldn’t that baby have grandparents and aunts and uncles nearby? Cousins?” He rested his elbows on his knees and angled his head toward me. “After we see the doctor tomorrow, if she says it’s all right and you’re willing, I’d like to take you home with me. To West Virginia. There are things I’d like to show you, and the way Ma and my sisters have been ravin’ and carryin’ on, I know they’d love to see you.”

His eyes sparkled and when he bit his lower lip, I wanted to lean in and bite it for him. Instead, I licked my own lips and watched as Ian’s eyes tracked the movement of my tongue.

I wasn’t the only one having trouble swallowing.

Our eyes held, neither of us blinking until Finn jumped up and set his dirty paws on my knees, breaking whatever spell we were under.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” Ian said, swiping the dead leaves and dirt from my pants.

“It’s fine,” I said, suddenly not caring. What were a few crumbs of dirt when surrounded by actual feelings. I grabbed Ian’s hand. “Want to head back?”

“Yeah, sure. You okay?”

“I am.” A huge smile blossomed on my face. “I really am.”