Never Say Never (Vitale Brothers Book 4)

Chapter 19

”Who the fuckis in charge? Move back. Move!”

I turned as Paul entered the garage, anger written all over his face. The fire had been put out, the bomb squad had checked to make sure there were no other devices, and now we simply stood there, waiting while I talked to the officers and insisted that they don”t touch anything. Hunter, Summer, and Jamie were all on their way to the scene. I wanted them to go through it, to pick it apart until something made sense. I needed to know who was doing this.

So I could put them underneath a cell.

My fingers clenched, opened, and clenched again. They were moving on their own, as if I wasn”t in control of my own body. The thought of someone trying to kill my babies had triggered a bloodthirsty part of me. Whoever had done this didn”t deserve prison. I wanted to put a bullet in their brain.

”York.”

Paul dragged me into his arms and held me close. I stood there, contemplating if I should hug him back or not. My mind was a jumbled, distorted mess. I wanted to cling to him, but I also wanted no one to touch me ever again. Someone had taken the only love I”d ever known away once, and now they were willing to do it again. Without my girls, I would be nothing. I wouldn”t be able to go on if they were gone.

”Girls.” Paul dropped down and gathered them in his arms. ”Are you okay?”

Their crying had quieted, but now it started up full blast again. He held them tightly, burying his face in their hair and promising them that everything was going to be all right. As I watched him, my heart clenched. He was there for my kids, holding them as if they were his. Talking to them as if they were the most important people in his life and he had almost lost them. I wanted him at that moment. Wanted to hold and touch and kiss and love him so I could know what it was like to love and be loved again.

What am I thinking about? What”s wrong with me? I don”t have time for this shit right now!

”Paul, can you take the girls to Shelly? She just arrived.”

He glanced back at her and then at the girls. They clung to both of us, refusing to let us go.

”I think you”d better do it,” he said softly. ”I want to check out the car while everything”s still fresh. When you get back, we”ll talk about this.”

”Yeah,” I said, for once taking an order instead of giving one. ”Okay. I”ll be right back.”

I took both of the girls over to Shelly as she stood at the entrance of the parking garage. They clung to me for five more minutes before I was finally able to peel them off and hand them over to their nanny. She wrapped the girls in her arms, whispering to them softly. Whatever she said soothed them. They clung to her afterwards, refusing to let go. I lingered for a moment, not wanting to leave their sides when they were so vulnerable and raw. But if I didn”t find out who did this, they would try again.

”I love you both,” I said as I crouched down and touched their faces. ”Be good for Shelly, okay?”

”Yes, Daddy,” Navy whispered.

Nyra simply nodded, no longer speaking. She worried me the most sometimes, the way she could just shut down was troubling. I pulled them both against me once more. It was hard to let them go knowing what had just happened. I wanted to stay with them for the rest of the day, tuck us into a corner of the couch, and forget the rest of the world existed. The only thing that stopped me from hiding was the fact that I had to protect not only myself, but them.

”I”ll see you both later. I promise.” I glanced up at Shelly. ”Take them to that hotel. Now. Don”t make any detours, don”t stop anywhere, just go straight there, get a room, lock the door. Don”t let anyone in until I call and tell you I’m standing outside of it and you can see me.”

”Yes, of course, Mr. Washington.”

“I’ll send someone to watch your door. Keep your eyes open.”

I watched as they returned to her car. The only reason I didn”t check it over from top to bottom was because I”d just seen her pull up in it not long ago. I knew it was safe. Once I loaded the girls up, clicked their seatbelts, and kissed their heads, I sent them off with their nanny. I waited, watching until the car disappeared around the corner, and even then, I continued to stare.

”York.”

I turned on my heels. Paul stood there, worry on his face, as he held onto my arm. I glanced back in the direction of my daughters before I followed behind him. The parking garage still held the smell of smoke, burning embers, boiling oil. The aroma was enough to make me want to throw up my bagels and cream cheese, but instead, I walked over to the car with Paul. We stopped short.

”Found this,” he said. ”When were you going to tell me someone was after you?”

Gingerly, I took the note that Paul had plucked from the wreckage, only handling it by the tweezers that he”d used to collect it. The paper was damaged, burnt and curling. A few pieces fluttered off of it landing on the ground as I read the chilling words.

We told you to stop. The Triads won”t stand for this harrassment. You get no more warnings. All of you are dead.

I shuddered. They said no more warnings, but I had a feeling that this was a warning too. If they wanted, they could have let us get into the car and detonated it after. This? It was a game of cat and mouse. They knew I wouldn”t back off, and I knew they really would kill us. My hand shook so much the paper flapped and fluttered.

”Give me that,” Paul said shortly. ”Jesus Christ. No more warnings? How many have they sent?”

”My job doesn”t come without risks,” I said, staring at the wreckage of the car that I”d loved more than words could describe. ”I have always tempted fate with what I do.”

”Fuck me, York! You can”t go around getting threats and ignoring them, dumbass! Do you know how incredibly fucking stupid this is? You could have been killed. The girls could have been killed! Are you getting that?”

I grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him toward me. Paul”s eyes didn”t widen the way I expected. Instead, he stared at me, his gaze dark and intense.

”Back off,” I said, evenly. ”I”ve done everything I can to protect my daughters. I don”t need you on my ass about it.”

”Someone needs to be,” he said, breaking my hold on him as smoothly as if he hadn”t just been in my grasp. ”How long has this been going on?”

I glanced at the wreck. ”A few weeks.”

Paul cursed under his breath in what sounded like Italian. I noted it once more, that the man that worked under me seemed to speak the language so fluidly. It was like second nature to him. That was more than a few classes in school, that was familiarity.

”You should have told me. Or one of the team. A higher up. Someone,” he expressed.

”Easier said than done. I get threats almost every week from some asshole I”ve tossed in prison. Newsflash, what we do isn”t exactly safe.”

”Then why the fuck are you doing it when you have Navy and Nyra to worry about!” he snapped as he turned on his heels and stalked back over to me after he”d wandered away.

”I’m sorry, what would you like me to do? Crochet? Knit? Sit in a fucking corner and rock back and forth? The world is dangerous and my job is my life,” I said, evenly. ”There are no guarantees anywhere. I could be a school teacher or an artist or a store clerk and there”s still a chance that someone will end up killing me. Or them. At least with this job, I make a difference. I make the world a little safer for them.”

Paul swore again. ”You”re a stubborn motherfucker, you know that?” he asked as he pointed at me. ”This isn”t the time for some vigilante style superhero bullshit. Take the girls, rent a car, go into hiding. We all knew this war was going to be a shit show, but someone is targeting you specifically. I don”t know how they found out who you guys are, but it”s too late to wonder about that shit now. You all need to get somewhere safe.”

I shook my head. ”No.”

Paul grabbed me this time, yanking me forward by my suit jacket. My eyes widened. I”d never seen this particular look on his face before. Fire raged in those blue eyes as he searched my expression, looking for god knows what, but I wasn”t backing down.

”Are you stupid? Do you want to die? These people are not the type you want to fuck around with. They will kill you, your kids, burn your house to the ground, and piss on the ashes. Do you understand that?”

I grabbed his hands and unhooked them with some effort. ”I know that more than anyone. You forget who has done hours of research on these animals. But I can”t run and hide.”

”Why?” he snapped.

”They already know who I am,” I said. ”At this point, I”m stuck. None of this is going to stop until I stop it. Do you get that?”

”No, I don”t get why you think it has to be you that puts himself in danger,” he growled. ”You”re being a moron.”

”Oh well.”

”Fuck!” Paul screamed, drawing eyes in our direction. ”You”re the most stubborn motherfucker I have ever met in my life!”

I raised a brow. ”Probably.”

Paul closed the space between us. ”I don”t want you to get hurt. Please. Don”t keep pursuing this.” He touched my arm, squeezing it when I tried to look around to make sure no one was watching us. ”York, I can”t take losing you or the girls. Don”t do this.”

My heart squeezed, every thump feeling heavier and louder than it really was. ”This is my job. I can”t just stop.”

”Not even for me?”

”No.”

Paul”s face fell. ”Yeah, I figured you would say that,” he muttered.

I reached for him as he walked away, but my hand fell. There was so much about Paul that I still didn”t know, so much that he needed to explain. Until then, I had to keep my distance. I had called him on a whim, relying on that feeling of safety and security that had blanketed me whenever we were together, but I also knew that he couldn”t be trusted. Maybe he had an explanation for everything, a reason for the many questions I had that remained unanswered. But until I understood, I had to keep him away from me.

I”d been paranoid since Dawn had died. Was that why I couldn”t trust him? Was Paul really a good guy, and I was just punishing him because of my own past? I hated the thought of that. It was a feeling of uncertainty that made me feel crazy. My hands shook, my chest tightening. He didn’t understand, one of the reasons I couldn’t stop was because of Dawn. If only someone had saved her, had put in the hours, had sacrificed everything, she would still be here. If only I had done what I was supposed to do that day, she would be safe. The better parent would still be alive. I sucked in a sharp breath, trying to force myself to calm down.

”York?”

Paul was in my face the next minute, my hands in his as he gazed at me. I stared at him.

”Where did you go?” he asked. ”Are you okay? You”re shaking.”

I tried to pull away, but he refused to let me go. ”I”m fine,” I whispered. ”Paul, stop. Let go of me, people are watching.”

”I don”t give a fuck!” he growled. ”Come here. Just shut up and come here.”

Paul tugged me into his arms and I was wrapped in warmth. He held me tightly, his breath feathering against my neck as he gripped me so hard it hurt. I didn”t push him away, didn”t make it stop. Just for a minute, I allowed myself to feel that old fear, that old paranoia.

And for just a minute, I allowed myself to feel safe in Paul”s arms.