Never Say Never (Vitale Brothers Book 4)

Chapter 23

Sleep never came.I spent the rest of the night installing cameras around the place to keep an eye on the girls and York. Every little sound put me on edge. I knew how safe Benito”s place was, but it didn”t erase the fear that trickled down my spine. I hadn”t felt it in a while, but getting involved with York had reawakened that side of me.

I had something to lose.

I sat in my room on the still-made bed trying, and failing, to think of a way to talk to York. There was so much more I needed to explain to him. Things started off as me trying to find out the mole and get close to him but there was more to it. My interest in him was genuine. No one ordered me to do it. I sought him out because I couldn”t help myself. There was a draw to York that I couldn”t ignore, no matter how many times I told myself the reasons why I should stay away.

Movement outside my door was faint; two distinct pairs of footsteps padded down the hall, stopping between mine and York”s room. I didn”t have to open the door to know who stood outside in the hallway.

”Is Daddy in that room?” Navy whispered.

”We should go back. Shelly said we shouldn”t go out by ourselves,” Nyra whispered back.

I was up and at my door in seconds. My hand rested on the knob as I contemplated what to do. Remembering the way the girls stared at me yesterday hurt my heart. I never thought I”d care what some kids thought of me, but there was fear in their beautiful brown eyes that I never wanted aimed my way again.

”But I want to see Daddy and so do you,” Navy argued.

”But she said Paul isn”t good.”

My heart stopped at that implication. I wasn”t, but I was for them. I”d never hurt them. Ever.

”Yeah, but...” Navy”s voice died off.

I opened my door just as York opened his. Our eyes met, locking for what felt like an eternity and only a millisecond at the same time.

”Daddy,” Nyra said as she rushed into York”s arms.

Navy looked back at me. She looked skeptical, and I was certain she had a lot of questions. I wasn”t so sure I had the right answers.

”Girls, what are you doing up so early?” York asked. He stared down at them, no longer looking my way. There were dark circles under his eyes, and his clothes were wrinkled as if he”d stayed up all night too.

”We wanted to be with you,” Navy answered while her sister buried her face in the crook of York”s neck. ”Paul, are you a bad guy?”

The question took me by surprise. The fact that Navy had said something at all was shocking. I could tell she wanted a specific answer, one that would make her smile at me again. It would be too easy to give it to her. To lie. She was a child anyway, she didn”t need to be involved in adult affairs, but as I got ready to tell her the lie she craved, I fell short.

My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth. The reply stayed in my mouth as my brain refused to give me an answer.

”Girls, why don”t you go back to the room with Shelly,” York offered.

Nyra shook her head and Navy turned to him with her lower lip wavering. ”But, Dad...”

”How about breakfast,” I offered. ”If it”s okay with you.”

York”s mouth was in a fine line as he stared at the wall next to me. The girl”s stomachs both growled at once, taking the option out of both our hands.

”I”ll wake Shelly to come make some food.” York put Nyra down, grunting and rubbing at his recovering arm.

”Let her sleep, we all had a long night. It”s only breakfast. I can make it.”

The girls looked between us. I knew they could tell something was wrong. They were smart as hell. Gin and I would have been clueless, going along with what was happening. But Navy and Nyra were far more intuitive than most ten-year-olds. They really did take after York. A small part of me was proud of them, even if I did want to stay hidden and be the fun, loving guy they”d gotten to know.

”What would you two like to eat?” I asked, trying to break up the tension that filled the hallway. I wanted to talk to York, but I could tell he still wanted nothing to do with me.

I detest you. His words burned through me hotter than an iron brand.

The girls looked up at their dad again, and I stopped myself from rubbing at my chest. This hurt a whole lot worse than I ever thought possible. Falling in love was never in the plans. I didn”t crave companionship like my twin. I”d always thought I”d jump from bed to bed, it was easier that way. No one could handle the way I wanted to love. Even now, giving York his space was taking every ounce of control I possessed. If it was up to me, I”d already have him in my bed, forcing my brand of possession on him until he couldn”t fathom living without me. There was still a chance I might end up cracking and doing it. Sanity was only a facade with me. I was born into chaos, and I wielded mayhem freely.

York gave the girls a single nod. ”Go brush your teeth and wash your faces while Pau—Gianpaolo and I get breakfast started.”

Navy and Nyra”s faces screwed up. Their cute little noses scrunched as they looked at me.

”You can call me Paolo.”

York grunted, not hiding his displeasure. He ushered both girls toward the bathroom.

”There are toothbrushes under the sink.” I headed toward the kitchen, rolling up my sleeves. He wanted to talk. That had to be good, right? Talking meant I still had a shot before I had to move to a more drastic route.

I turned on the faucet and washed my hands, making sure to clean them thoroughly. Murderous intent hit me in the back of my head. I breathed through my teeth, forcing down my instincts to attack. York was doing it again, staring holes in my head and probably planning my murder.

”York, stop staring at me like that.” I turned around, meeting his gaze head-on.

”Or what? You”re going to kill me?”

”No, I don”t want you dead, never have.”

”You”re lying.”

”I”m not.” I ground my molars. Why couldn”t he understand this? ”After everything, you think I want you out of my life permanently?”

”Why shouldn”t I think that? You got close to me on purpose. Used me.”

”That wasn”t all it was,” I stressed. I grabbed the pancake mix, eggs, and bacon from the fridge. ”You mean so much more to me. You and the girls.”

York laughed, but it was devoid of any humor. If anything it sounded broken. ”Why were you at my place last night?”

I cracked a few eggs in a bowl, giving myself time to answer. Did I tell him the whole truth or some of it? Lying to York had become second nature. Being Paul meant that”s what I did. In order to keep my family safe, I lived in a constant web of lies.

”Pa—Gianpaolo, answer me. Why the fuck were you at my house? How did you know they were going to attack?” York was keeping his voice moderately low, glancing down the hall to make sure the girls hadn”t come back yet. ”Did you plan it?”

”Fuck no!” I grabbed the whisk and started beating the eggs a bit too hard. They overflowed the rim of the bowl creating a mess that I was going to have to clean up later.

”Then how? I thought about it all night. Your timing was strange. You had already told the girls what to do. The security team was conveniently out, nothing was how it normally was, and there you were, magically in my home to save the day.”

”If you really thought I did it, why in the hell are you still here?”

York was in my face. ”You think I can walk out of here with my girls in one piece? You brought us into the belly of the beast.”

I shook my head. I was ready to explain myself even if it got me into more trouble with York. As I turned to him, his fist connected with my jaw, whipping my head to the side. Pain radiated over the entire left side of my face. I licked the corner of my lip where I”d bitten into it.

Rolling my jaw, I turned to meet York”s heated gaze. There was a darkness in his deep brown eyes that he swore only my family held. ”I”m going to let you have that one, but don”t try it again, York.” My voice dipped as I let the nice Paul facade drop away. ”I won”t kill you but I sure as hell will make you beg for death.”

I took a step back for the both of us. Grabbing the pancake mix box again, I started making it. York stayed where he was, his fists opening and closing. I almost hoped he did hit me again. It would give me all the excuse I needed to touch him. Fuck his words, I”d remind him that he belonged to me.

”You didn”t listen to me after the car bombing. I told you I”d do what I had to. I stayed in the complex across from yours and watched over the three of you.” Not to mention I snuck in and planted a few cameras around the place. York didn’t need to hear all of that.

”What?” York took a step back.

”I wasn”t going to let anything happen to you guys, so I took matters into my own hands. That security firm was midgrade at best. I didn”t trust them to keep you or the girls safe.”

”You spied on me? For how long?”

I put the bacon on making sure the fire wasn”t too high. The smell of applewood started to fill the air and my stomach growled. I hadn”t eaten in at least a day. ”A while. It”s a good thing I did.”

York opened his mouth but the girls came down the hall holding hands. They were quiet as ever but the moment they saw what I was making their faces lit up a bit.

”Paul... I mean, Paolo?” Navy tilted her head. ”Why do you have a different name?”

Leave it to York”s kids to ask the hard questions first thing in the morning.

”Navy, that”s enough for now. We will talk about this later,” York said.

Both girls nodded before taking a seat at the round table that sat four. York joined his daughters with a little encouragement from them. I finished up making breakfast, adding veggies to the eggs so that the girls had a bit more nutrients in their food. Past me would have laughed at current me. Pretending to be a good guy who could take on kids. There was no way, but I couldn”t turn it off. This obsession with York and now with his daughters. They felt like mine. I meant it when I told Benito no one would decide what to do with my girls.

I plated their food. The weirdly shaped pancakes were supposed to be cute, like a star and a heart. But they looked like deformed circles. They were still edible, so I put them on the girls’ plates regardless.

There was a tug on my shirt, and I looked down to find Nyra. She stared up at me. There was uncertainty written all over her face. I glanced at York but he was watching his daughter.

I squatted down. ”Yes, Nyra?”

She curled her finger, and I moved closer, offering her my ear. She was so strangely quiet. I missed the confident rapping ten-year-old.

”Do you still like Daddy?”

I nodded my head and pulled back so she could see the seriousness on my face. ”Cross my heart.”

Her little shoulders dropped a bit, and I moved back so she could whisper in my ear again. ”Are you guys going to make up?”

God, I hope so. ”I”m going to do everything in my power to.”

She seemed to accept that answer, turning back to look at her twin. They said nothing but Navy”s shoulders dropped too. She gave me a tentative smile but scooted closer to her dad. They started talking, and I looked back down at Nyra.

”Mind grabbing the orange juice for me?”

She nodded and headed for the fridge, grabbing the orange juice. I was glad the groceries were fully stocked and there was nothing they could need or want while staying here.

”Girls, where are you?” Shelly ran down the hall, her hair a mess and her eyes wild. She spotted York and instantly made her way over to him. ”Mr. Washington.”

She touched him, and I had to bite down on the inside of my cheek to keep from killing her. He allowed Shelly to touch him but not me? My irrational brain said to grab her by the back of her head and smash her face into the quartz countertop until her brains spilled out.

”Shelly, everything is fine,” York said.

I cleared my throat. ”We were about to eat breakfast. You can get more sleep.”

Shelly jumped the moment I moved closer to her. She inched toward York until she was practically plastered against my man. She was going to get the side of me most people didn”t want to see if she kept it up.

”Oh, I didn”t know you were here,” Shelly said.

Why in the fuck wouldn”t I be?I squinted at her, planning her death a million times over. I opened my mouth to tell her to get her hands off York, but instead my phone rang. I pulled it out and groaned.

”What?” York asked. He was up and away from Shelly in seconds and came over to me. ”Did something happen?”

”Yes, my brother is calling for a meeting.” I looked at the girls and sighed. ”You guys enjoy breakfast, I”ll be back later.”

”A meeting about what?” York asked.

I shrugged. ”No clue.”

He didn”t look as if he believed me. Fuck, it hurt every single time, worse then the last. I knew I messed up but he had to see past it. I was there for the betterment of my family, and somewhere along the way that included him and the girls.

”I swear, I don”t know. Benito won”t tell me until I”m there.”

”Sure.” York grabbed his plate from the counter. ”When you leave, don”t bother coming back.”

He wasn”t going to make this even a little easy for me. ”York?—”

”Go,” he growled.

My phone buzzed again, and I knew I was out of time. I grabbed the coffee and poured York a cup. ”I”ll have some of your work files delivered.” York was going to work regardless, and I needed his expertise to help with the Aceto and Triad problem. My cover was blown and they were after York just as much. If anyone could give us another perspective on the situation, it was York.

He didn”t acknowledge me, instead stuffing his mouth full of eggs. I wanted to grab his cheeks and force him to look at me. To only see me. Shelly took my spot in between the girls and across from York. I should be the one trying to make them smile and talking to York. It should be me who they shared these moments with.

I watched for a second before heading toward the door. I let it close behind me with anger and disappointment settling in the middle of my chest.

With everything happening around me,the thought of being surrounded by all my brothers again filled me with a sense of peace. Finally, I was going to be reunited with them. I was going to be a Vitale again. How many years had I been separated from everyone and forced to live a lie? Too many to count. I”d given up marking days off on the calendar. It always made it feel like I was doomed to be away from everything I knew for eternity.

A quick call to a salon and a text to Benito, and the meeting was pushed back. I didn”t want to be Paul anymore; it was never me to begin with. After an hour or so at the salon, I made my way to Blu. This was it; I was going to have my family back. Something I spent countless nights wishing for. I made my way through the club, heading upstairs. Blu had been a rundown building when Benito had originally bought it. I hadn”t seen the vision, but he swore to us this was the first step to bigger and better things. I wasn’t able to stick around to see it but I watched from afar. Saw how my brothers beat all the odds and took the Vitale name to new heights.

”Sir,” the men standing out front said. They did a double take when they saw me. With the contacts gone and my hair dark brown once more, and slicked back, I looked more like Giancarlo. They mistook me for him, but I wasn”t in the mood to correct them just yet.

I was let into the office. The music from the club bled away and was replaced by soothing jazz. Benito sipped whiskey and moved paperwork around. Harlow sat poised on his lap, looking over sheets as well. He looked up, his gray eyes lined with coal zeroed in on me.

”You two really are twins. Thought he was joking, but damn,” Harlow said.

Benito looked up at me with a smile briefly gracing his face. ”Paolo, you look more like yourself.”

”Feel like it too.” I took one of the chairs and plopped down. I adjusted the black button up and black slacks I wore. ”Where are Gin and Enzo?”

Benito sat his paperwork down, his arm instantly winding around Harlow”s slender waist. The red dress he was wearing had slits all the way up his hips on both sides, showing off every inch of his pale skin. Their intimacy was mild but it made me crave my own. York came to mind with his deep brown skin, thick muscled body, and stern look. I wanted to fall into bed with him and hear his laughter again. The endless talks and the way we gravitated toward each other were forever imprinted on my brain. It all couldn”t disappear overnight. I refused to allow that.

”They”re on their way.”

”You brought an FBI agent home,” Harlow said. He produced a knife out of nowhere. He twirled it around as if it was an extension of himself. ”My daughter is at home.”

I met the crazed man”s gaze head on. ”So are mine. I need them to be safe.”

”He”s going to turn on you and then on us,” Harlow bit out.

I stayed relaxed in my chair. Harlow was skilled, but I”d had years of training under my belt as well. I would do anything to protect what was mine. ”I will handle it.”

Harlow stared at me for what felt like an eternity before a resounding knock broke through the tension. He kissed his husband. ”I”m going home to look over the rest of the documents there.”

”Take a few guards with you. Our enemies have been getting bolder by the second.” Benito looked like he wanted to say something but he kept his mouth shut.

My phone vibrated in my pocket again. I pulled it out quickly to make sure York and the girls were okay. I held my breath as I checked all the feeds. They were safe.

”Benito, what”s with the last minute call? Ash is crawling up the walls because of the lockdown. The only thing keeping him preoccupied is my ass.” Hearing Gin’s voice was like being hit by a freight train. Years, I”d been without my twin, and hearing him talk so close had every emotion I”d locked down slamming into me all at once.

”No one wants to hear about your sex life,” Enzo said.

I couldn”t stop myself. I stood up and turned to face my brothers. Enzo stopped in his tracks. His wired rimmed glasses slipped down his nose. His brown eyes moved over me as if he was seeing a ghost. To them, I was one. I”d been dead for years, only my dad knowing the truth and then getting Benito in on it.

”What the fuck is this?” Gin shouted. “Who’s this asshole!”

”Gin, calm down, there”s something we have to discuss,” Benito said.

”That”s the fucking understatement of the year, Benito. Why the fuck is there a Gianpaolo look-alike in this office?”

”I”m not a look-alike,” I said.

”He”s dead,” Enzo pointed out.

I looked at my youngest brother. His facial expression showed nothing as he stayed away from me. Whereas, Giancarlo, I could read like a book. Devastation, confusion, and anger continued to show.

”Paolo?” Gin asked.

”Gin, Enzo, sit and we can catch you both up,” Benito said.

Neither one of them moved. The reunion I”d imagined over and over again was nothing like this. They”d yell at me in my dreams, but Gin would inevitably drag me into a hug, and Enzo would greet me like he used to. None of that was happening. Giancarlo paced the length of the office, sending cautious glares my way like a caged animal. Enzo moved closer to the door as if being anywhere near me was too much for him to handle.

”Start fucking talking, Benito, because right now I’m about to beat the fuck out of this imposter,” Gin threatened.

Fuck, was everyone pissed at me? It wasn”t like I”d told them to tell Gin I was dead. In fact, I”d warned both Dad and Benito it was a horrible idea. Dad hadn”t listened, and at that time, Benito had been his puppet.

”Gin, settle the fuck down,” Benito barked out. He looked between all three of us and groaned. ”Look, we are going to have this conversation. Enzo, you lose control, know I will be the one to lock you down. Same goes for you, Gin.” Rolling his shoulders back, our eldest brother fixed us each with a glare. ”Am I clear?”

”Fuck off, Benito,” Gin shot back. He picked up a chair and smashed it against the wall. Wood splintered everywhere, littering the floor. Gin had one of the legs in his hand and aimed the jagged side at me. ”Who the fuck are you?”

I locked eyes with my twin, and without me saying anything, Gin dropped the wood piece and took a few steps back. He clutched at his shirt, gasping for air. ”You died.”

”That was a lie that Dad came up with,” I said.

Gin shook his head, and I wanted nothing more than to go to him. But I could feel it. Even after all this time, our twin connection was still there. He didn”t want anyone touching him. Gin scratched at his neck, leaving behind angry red lines.

”Shit.” Benito was up in seconds and over by Gin. He pulled at his hands trying to get him to stop.

Gin drew his head back and slammed it into Benito”s face. Our older brother was fast to react; he drew his fist back and punched Gin. They traded blows. Even as Gin went down, Benito didn”t let up. I turned to Enzo and made the mistake of moving too fast. His knife was out and sliced through my shirt, catching my flesh. White hot pain added to the searing ache inside of my chest.

”Enzo.”

”No.” Enzo took another step away from me, refusing to look my way.

”Gin,” I called out.

He was panting on the ground, wiping at his mouth, but he, too, didn”t look my way either.

”I was sent undercover in the FBI,” I tried to explain. But it felt pointless. No one seemed to give a damn.

Benito spat blood on the floor and pushed his hair out of his face. ”Give them time.”

I clutched my arm where Enzo had cut me. Blood seeped between my fingers and dripped to the floor. Both of them were angry with me. It didn”t matter that I”d sacrificed years to make sure they made it to the top, or that every day I was away from them felt like torture. They’d lost me at the same time I”d lost them. But in their eyes, I was no better than someone who’d abandoned them without cause.

All I could muster was a nod as I headed for the door. This wasn”t how it was supposed to go.

How much longer did I have to be without my family?