Never Say Never (Vitale Brothers Book 4)

Chapter 25

I didn”t expectto wake up everyday with an ache in my chest. As I stared up at the ceiling, I wondered if I was having a heart attack. It sure felt like it. My arm wasn”t numb, but I could barely breathe and the pain was the worst. I closed my eyes again.

This is all in my head. I”m a grown man. I should be able to handle this.

And yet I was laid out in bed, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop. I couldn”t trust Paul—Paolo—anymore. Truth be told, I couldn’t confide in anyone because who knew if someone on my team was involved? Worst of all, I was on high alert day and night, wondering if some criminal was going to shoot me in the head while I slept. I had no one to turn to, no one to talk to.

I miss Paul.

The thought came out of nowhere, fleeting but lingering. As much as I tried to throw it away, it lingered. I jumped out of bed, ripped off my clothes and made my way over to the dresser that was pushed against the far wall. There were clothes stocked in it, some of them my own that I recognized from my place, but others were new. I had no doubt Paul had purchased them.

I bypassed those and went for familiarity. As I slipped into a pair of gray sweatpants and a dark blue T-shirt, I couldn”t help but to feel odd. My usual attire was a suit and tie. I was used to those things, but now I didn”t have a reason to wear them. I knew I could have, but part of me didn”t have the strength to do that either.

After taking a look at myself in the mirror, I stepped out of the bedroom. Paul stood in front of me, tugging his door closed quietly before he turned and jumped. I stared at him. I still wasn”t used to his new look. The dark hair, dark eyes, and cool demeanor weren”t the Paul I had gotten to know and appreciate. This was a different man. I knew I shouldn”t still be attracted to him physically, but I was even more into his looks now than before. He looked… comfortable. Real.

”Good morning,” Paul said.

I woke up from my haze. Had I been staring? When I grunted in response, Paul”s face tightened before he tried to slap on a smile. It held on loosely.

”Did you sleep okay?”

”Do we have to make small talk?” I asked.

The smile fell away completely. ”I guess not. Are you hungry? I was going to make something to eat and I figured?—”

”I can cook for myself.”

”Oh. Okay. Let me know if you guys need anything.”

I stared at Paolo. Part of me felt bad for being so abrupt with him, but what was I supposed to do when there was a mountain of pain and resentment inside of me? He”d lied to me, betrayed me. I still didn”t even know if I had simply been a mark for him or if he genuinely cared. Slowly, I was starting to see that he did care about the girls. That couldn”t be faked, could it? Besides, we”d been here for a while now. If Paolo wanted to kill us, he could have done that already. I was starting to wonder if he was telling the truth about bringing us here to protect us. Or was I still being naive?

”I”ll leave you alone,” Paolo said, turning on his heels and heading for the kitchen.

I stayed planted where I was, but I still looked after him. My chest gave another painful throb that seemed to reach through me and right to my bones. I wanted to catch up with him, to hold his hand like we used to, and feel that closeness that I so desperately missed.

No, he”s a liar and a Vitale. You can not get weak now. Once this is all over, the plan remains the same. All of these people need to go down. All of them.

The Acetos, the Triads, the Vitales; each family was as bad as the next. If I let one of them go, I might as well let all of them go. And if I did that, then I might as well quit my job. How could I keep doing it if I knew I”d let these people get away with literal murder?

I dragged my feet down the hall and made my way to the kitchen. The room was quiet, only the sound of Paolo cooking and singing under his breath filled the space. I looked around for the girls.

”Where are Navy and Nyra?”

”They”re in the room with Shelly. Both of them are tired so I suggested a breakfast in bed day. I was going to make them waffles and bring it down to them.”

I stiffened. ”I can do it.”

Paolo stopped and turned to face me. ”What?”

”I can take breakfast to them.”

He threw the bowl in his hands into the sink and closed the space between us in two long strides. My hand shot out on instinct to stop him, but Paolo was faster. His hand wrapped around my throat, his body pressed against mine. My eyes flew open. As much as I hated him, the heat from his body flooded my own, and I found myself shifting against him. That contact, that friction, that desire and tension that lived between us was still alive.

Why wouldn”t it die?

”Don”t you ever suggest that I would hurt Navy and Nyra,” Paolo growled.

”I didn”t?—”

His grip tightened. ”You did. I have never done anything other than look out for and care about them. If you think you can take my girls away from me, you”re dead wrong.”

I glared at him. ”Those are my girls.”

”And mine,” he snapped. ”So the fuck what? You”re pissed off at me, I get it. But I am swallowing shit from all sides and I am sick and tired of it. Those two are the only reason I”m able to keep going right now. So I”m going to talk to them, I”m going to spoil them, I”m going to check on them and make sure they”re okay. If you have a problem with that”—he leaned forward, his lips pressed against my ear—”then we can talk about it. If you think you”re going to run over me though, I”m going to fuck you into a mattress and get your head situated correctly so that it”s no longer up your ass. Got it?”

The shiver that ran through my body felt like it would never end. Paolo pulled back, his dark eyes staring into mine.

”Do you understand?” he asked.

I licked my lips. ”Do you think this violent behavior will make me trust you with them?”

The corner of Paolo’s mouth ticked up. ”Oh, sweet cheeks, this ain”t violent. Trust me, I could show you violence. This is me being calm. Now, I”m going to cook waffles with chocolate chips, whipped cream, and caramel syrup. Do you want some?”

”No,” I hissed.

”That”s your choice.” He pushed away from me and my hand wrapped around my own throat as he stuck a smoke in his mouth and lit it. ”You should go over those files so we can figure out what the hell the Acetos and Triads are doing. We know it”s the Triads behind the attack on your place. The sooner we get them off the street, the sooner this will be over.”

This?

Did he mean us? Or me and the girls living here? Or just the threat being held over my life being extinguished?

I kept my hand on my throat, feeling the raw power that had emanated from his palm. My body had responded in a way that wasn”t logical, my heart racing and my cock swelling at the close proximity. I shook my head, trying to dispel those thoughts.

”You don”t control anything,” I told Paolo. ”Just so that you”re aware.”

”Of course not, York,” he said. ”You”re completely in control.”

We stared at each other, and it was as if we both knew that was a lie. As much as I led, I was starting to realize that Paolo allowed himself to be led. I”d never seen him like this. Why the hell did it turn me on?

”If you”re going to claim you hate me, you should do something about that hard-on,” Paolo muttered while he cooked. ”Otherwise, I”ll get the wrong idea.”

”You... I...”

Paolo shrugged. ”You can deny it. Hey, I get it, you”re still angry, but those sweatpants are telling the truth when you can”t,” he said as he nodded downward. ”If I”d known you liked being manhandled, I would have done it a lot sooner.”

There was none of that old teasing the way Paul would have said it, that smirk that meant he might be joking around or he might not. When Paolo looked at me, I knew he meant every single word. My body felt like it was on fire. The fantasies I”d had since the beginning flooded my mind, images of Paolo fucking me relentlessly all over the place until I couldn”t stand anymore. I”d tried to get those visions out of my brain, but I couldn”t. Not even now.

”Your coffee will be ready in three minutes,” Paolo said. ”Let me smoke. I know you don”t like the smell.”

I”d only told him that once. It was an offhand comment after we went to a bar one night. Normally, I didn”t love it. However, the image of Paolo with a cigarette in his mouth, his tattoos showing, and his body wrapped in dark clothes, made me stare.

”How did you hide the tattoos?” I asked.

”What?”

I nodded. ”The tattoos.”

Paolo looked down at his hand. There was an eagle on the back of it, but there were more that covered his exposed arms. I”d seen one on his stomach the other day when he stretched and wondered if there were more. He glanced back up at me.

”Makeup. Every single day.”

”I”ve seen you after getting out of the pool and showers.”

Paolo shrugged. ”It”s really good makeup, York. And a pain in the ass to put on everyday. It took me over an hour to cover it all up.”

I blinked at him. ”You were that dedicated, huh? If you had applied that to doing your job instead of being a traitor, I can”t even begin to imagine what you could have done.”

Paolo”s eyes darkened. ”I did my job, in case you”ve forgotten.”

”Yeah, you just made me look like an idiot and ruined every pursuit of mine.”

He gazed at me. ”I”m sorry. I never wanted you to feel like a failure because of those missions. Seeing you stressed out because of it was... difficult.”

”Yes, especially knowing that you caused it.”

”Yes,” he said again, blowing more smoke out and ashing into the sink. ”You might not believe me, but I really am sorry, York.”

I stared at him. ”Sorry isn”t enough.”

”What is?”

I didn”t have an answer for him. The pain that I felt refused to go away. Yes, he”d saved our lives, but I couldn”t help but to feel like if he had never crossed our paths we wouldn”t have been put in that danger in the first place. How could I see him as anything other than what he was when I knew just how terrible the Vitales were?

”I have a question,” I said.

”Ask.”

”Our first date, when we were having dinner at that restaurant, the one it”s impossible to get reservations to.” I laughed. ”Although, I guess not for a Vitale.”

”York.”

”Why did you really leave? I know you don”t have a sister.”

Paolo tensed up. ”You want the truth?”

”I don”t want a lie.”

He sighed. ”I had to answer Benito”s call, and then I found one of the Acetos spying on us. I killed him.”

I stared at him. I killed him. He said the words so casually, as if they meant nothing. My heart felt like it was going to break all over again. Slowly, I backed away from him.

”You”re scared,” he said.

”No, I”m rational. I”ll be with the girls.”

”York, wait.”

I didn”t stick around. Instead, I scooped up the files that had been given to me and made my way to my daughters’ room. The moment they saw me, they lit up.

”Are you coming to watch a movie, Daddy?” Nyra asked.

”Where”s Pau—Where”s Paolo?” Navy asked.

As I looked between the two of them, I swallowed hard. How was I supposed to have answers for them when I was just as lost?