Never Say Yes To Your Fake Husband (I said Yes #4)

21. Weland

Chapter twenty-one

Weland

I did talk about technically, and technically, Sterling has been gone for three weeks. Actually, it’s been twenty-three days, but who’s counting?

Me. Obviously.

I’ve been counting.

Counting down the days, the hours, and the minutes.

My family has been amazing. They’ve kept me from going out of my mind. They’ve been there for me like they always have. They haven’t once tried to talk me out of this. They’ve just been there with their jokes and their humor. We’ve played all the board games we love as well as cards. We’ve watched movies, cooked together, and talked.

I’ve also been busy with my students. Thank goodness for my work.

Beans has kept me entertained. He’s been a great bud. He’s taken to sleeping beside me on my bed, and I don’t mind his snoring and night-kicking one bit, even if it is disturbing. Dog cuddles are so good that they more than make up for it. I don’t know how Smitty knew what I needed, but he did. He kind of works miracles like that. Not just for me but for Sterling too.

He hasn’t called. And he’s not a texter.

But he has sent me a few emails, keeping me updated about what’s going on with the company.

When his cousins found out about the company, they threw a hissy fit to end all hissy fits to the power of hissy fits, and now they’re pouting. Sterling isn’t really sure what their next move is going to be, but as for his new company, it’s safe. All of it. There isn’t anything they can do.

I haven’t received an email from him in two days. I’ve been checking my phone neurotically, refreshing my email whenever I pick it up just to make sure it’s updated.

It’s a very Sterling thing to just show up on my doorstep, which he does right after dinner. One minute, I’m getting ready to take Beans out, and the next, he’s there, ringing my doorbell and thrusting a guitar case into my hands when I open the door.

“For you. I’ll tell you all about it tonight, I promise. It’s one of those rare, historical, expensive, played by a certain rockstar guitars, and I know you’ll never want to play it because you’ll be scared that if you do, it will lose some of its magic. But I can’t think of a single other person I would want to play it and infuse it with even more magic, which you would, of course, because you have the purest form of magical everything I’ve ever known.”

I know I said I wanted to live our own corny song lyrics, but this is above and beyond. I let out a squeal and launch myself into his arms. He sets the guitar case down and hugs me so hard that I’m lifted clean off the ground. “You have some magic too.” That’s the best I can do because I’m starting to sniffle and get hot in the eyeballs.

It feels like forever since he left. I can’t believe there was a time when I didn’t know his name, how wonderful he was, or how much I’d miss him when he wasn’t right here with me.

I usher him inside. “Will you sit and wait for us?”

He grins. “I’ll do one better. How about I come for a walk with you?”

My heart is galloping at a thunderous pace, and it’s all I can do to nod.

We’re pretty quiet on the walk. There’s the weight of catching up and everything that happened while Sterling was gone. The weight of three weeks and my great, overarching joy that, above all, he’s back. He’s back, and this time, it’s not for business, for his cousins, for the will, or for anything else. It’s just for me.

Okay, maybe for Beans too.

When we get back to the house, Sterling grabs the guitar case. He cracks it open and takes out the most gorgeous, worn-in, ancient, and antique-looking guitar I’ve ever seen. Think fifties here. I know he’s going to tell me who owned it, and my heart races for a different reason. Any musician, however amateur, gets excited about gorgeous instruments, but when you combine a gorgeous instrument with some history and provenance, you get bubbles. Jittery, wonderful, happy, insanely good bubbles of sheer wonderment.

“I’ll tell you all about it soon, but I want to do something for you with it first,” Sterling says.

He strums his fingers down the strings, which are perfectly in tune. I freeze. The way he’s holding it, the look on his face…I didn’t know he could play. He slips the strap—a worn, plain red band—over his shoulder, and then he starts to sing. And my god, his voice. I didn’t know he could do that either. Sing, I mean. Holy god, can he ever sing. It has all the crazy goosebumps goosebumping on my body.

It’s clear from the first line that this isn’t one of those serious love songs that get played at your wedding, but it’s going to be one I remember every note and every word of for the rest of my life.

Not only is this song not very country, it’s also not very good.

But that’s okay because I wrote it just to make you laugh.

I really hope that after this you might want to take a bath.

Not because you stink or anything. You’re like sunshine, and you smell like flowers.

My favorite time is all the hours

That we get to spend together.

Pretty sure it’s always going to be the best time, now until forever.

But if not, I want that too. The good and the bad and the in-between.

I want it with you, and I want it with Beans.

I know I’m missing a chorus and a bridge and better lines,

I know that so far, all I’ve come up with is a bunch of rhymes,

But I hope we can start again.

Will you do me the honor of not being my wife?

When the guitar goes silent, he removes it and leans it against the case and the wall. Then, he digs in the bag he had slung over his shoulder when he walked in. I know what the stack of papers is before he hands them to me.

Divorce papers.

Ha, this shouldn’t be romantic either, but the way Sterling looks at me with those wonderful brown eyes makes me all soft and gooey. He doesn’t look like most people who are getting a divorce. I mean, some people might be happy about the fact, but he’s not looking at me like he’s happy. He’s looking at me like this is the first step on our road to getting our shit together. Or forever, but using words like that is kind of big and scary and soon.

“This is how I’d like to start our real romance. By being free. No strings attached, no obligations, and no contracts. Nothing hanging over us,” Sterling says.

The papers don’t feel like a lead weight when I take them. I carry them to the kitchen table, grab a pen from the junk drawer in the kitchen that has about fifty million mismatched pens, and sit down. I know I should read through them, and I will, but right now, it feels important to put my signature on them.

“I actually think we need a witness,” Sterling says, cutting me off. “But we’ll get one. I can call Smitty to come over.”

“That makes sense. Right, okay.” I stare at the two blanks on the last page. One for me and one for him.

“My cousins already know the truth,” Sterling tells me. I try not to gasp at that. Sterling is smiling, though, so it can’t be all that bad. “They’ve known from the start, of course, which prompted all this craziness. They won’t bother you. I promise they won’t, but just in case, I’ll leave the security guy out there for a few more weeks. They’re not into haunting women or making people pay. They’ve lost. I’ve beaten them at their own game, and that’s that. It’s not fun for them anymore, so they won’t pursue it. They’ll go back to their lives. But just because I didn’t want to appear like an asshole, I did what I felt was the right thing and paid them the value of those shares. Or at least what they were worth before they became worthless overnight. They each got a hefty mother of a check in the mail. None of them have been cashed yet, but I’m sure they’ll come around, and the checks will be cashed soon.”

I need a deep breath to be able to process that. “That’s incredible. I know you didn’t do it to rub it in.” Other people might have, but not Sterling. He’s too kind for that. He’s one of those people who seems to have pretty much inexhaustible patience.

“I did it because that’s what I thought my aunt would want me to do. Not compete, but take care of family. I’m still hopeful that in the future, we can maybe try to be friends. That would be a great song in itself.”

“Speaking of songs, I didn’t know you sang. Or played. And you did both beautifully. All this time, you’ve heard me teaching kids up here, yet you didn’t say anything. You never said anything. I should have assumed if you were in the music business, you would have and could, but I…it was a shock. A good one.”

His smile makes my bones happy. It makes all my insides happy. They’re still all happy, dancing and leaping for joy and in shock that this is happening. Even Beans is still wagging his tail every now and then from the couch when he looks up and over at both of us. My head might be the happiest part of all because I might be in shock a little bit, but my brain knows this is real .

“I’ll write you a real song one day. I’ll write you so many songs. Songs that are just for you and just for us. Just for Beans too, or our future kids. For all the moments we have along the way, there will be a song for you,” Sterling says meaningfully.

“Whoa. You better leave room for me to do some writing. I was going to write you some songs. Some that other people could sing. Some that would go out into the world and make a difference.”

Sterling is all vulnerable, and he’s not trying to hide it from me. He’s open and kind, his eyes dark wells of soft caramel. Every emotion is there, laid out clearly. “Of course.” Joy. “I would love for you to write songs.” He really would. “I’d love for your work to be out there in the world, but you’ve already made a difference in it just by existing.” Excitement. “I truly am so happy that you’re not like anyone else, and you have never asked me to make you famous because you truly don’t want it.” Amazement. And then, his eyes widen a little bit, and his pupils get blacker. Desire. Longing. “I love that you’re not like anyone else. That’s what captivated me in the first place. And that’s what continues to captivate me every single moment.”

I can barely get the words out, and when they do squeak out, my voice is thick. “I’ll write you songs. They’ll be full of those tractors and about growing old together. About hope for the future. About kids and some land and a house that’s just our own. They’ll be about seeing the world, getting even older, and falling more in love. About trucks because, of course, the token trucks and family and a trio of evil cousins turned not so evil. They’ll be about dogs farting, about never wanting to be famous, and about finding myself in that one special person. You, of course. About recognizing myself in you and finding the part of my life that was always missing. You, uh…were never missing. Legally, you were tied to me for years. I just didn’t know your name. I half cursed you and half wondered about you endlessly, and now I wholeheartedly know you’re the half of me I never want to lose again. I never expected to fall for my husband.”

“And I never expected to fall for my wife,” Sterling adds.

“Sometimes, expectations are boring. I like the fact that we surprised each other. Life is the best when it’s not predictable.” I glance over at Beans. “I didn’t see him coming, but Smitty knew exactly what I needed. Or who I needed.”

“He called me and told me to get my ass down here when you were having doubts that night, and I did. So yes, he knew exactly what we both needed.”

“Yay for Smitty.” My eyes are starting to water, but I grin. “Yay for the internet and for you hearing my song and everything that brought us together. Yay for my family for coming up with the solution we needed. And yay for us for holding on. For you coming back. For right now and tomorrow and the next day and the next day.”

“Yay for you.” Sterling takes my hands and pulls me into him. My tears are starting to fall, trickling down my cheeks, and he wipes them away gently and with care.

“Yay for you most of all, my darling,” I mutter. His lips are the best part. First, they kiss away the tear trails, and then they fall to mine.

I kiss him, sniffling into it and half laughing, but I do kiss him back. It’s a lovely kiss, one that doesn’t become heated because this is hello, and it’s laughter and joy. It’s not about an all-consuming desire. Not yet. Also, I’m still crying even though I’m trying to stop. Becoming a hot mess at a time like this is perfectly normal. It’s perfectly fine. My heart is going to burst out of my chest.

“In that song you wrote, you mentioned a bath,” I say.

“Not because you stink, but just because it rhymed.”

Sterling’s smile is the best thing in the world. It’s so freaking big and easy right now. All his cares haven’t been washed away, but they have changed. The biggest ones have folded and crumbled, and we can take care of the others slowly with each passing day. I think that’s what my dad would advise with some of his dad wisdom. He doesn’t usually go for clichés, but he does rephrase them. He’d use the whole borrowing trouble thing isn’t worth it and tell us not to worry and just be happy in the moment. Except he’d do it in a far less cheesy way, and in the end, you’d be amazed, and you’d know he’s right because you’ve never heard anything that made so much sense before spoken so eloquently.

To think my brother hurting himself would eventually lead to me standing right here.

Yes, the years were sometimes rough, and the moments were sometimes lonely, but here I am with the man that, one day, I’m going to fall in love with. The man that, one day, I’ll probably marry again, and this time, it will be a celebration and not a secret. With the man I can see myself writing songs with, being dog parents with, traveling the world with, and doing life and becoming a family with.

“Can you think of something that rhymes with shower?” I ask.

“In an hour, but I’d rather do that with you right nower?”

I throw my head back and laugh. As far as rhymes go, that’s just about the best of the best of the best right there. But I’m not surprised because it’s coming from this man who is the best of the best of the best.

The shower is just code for wherever we can reach before we start tearing each other’s clothes off. I need this man inside me. Anywhere.

And I mean anywhere in the condo . Any room, any place, right now.

It’s been a long three weeks.

It’s been a long four years.

It’s been a long lifetime.