Chapter 79 Izzy
Chapter seventy-nine
Izzy
Terrified.
Fucking utterly terrified.
But I can do this. I have to.
Still…
“Can I see you?” What the hell was I thinking? I go from completely ignoring his every attempt to talk to me, to missing him once he stops reaching out, to jumping at the chance to speak to him, and now to asking to see him.
I’ve lost it. Officially.
As soon as I sent that text, Jett didn’t respond with another message.. Oh, no. The man called me. He saw an ‘in,’ and he took it. I’d expect nothing less.
Our conversation was short. I didn’t even get a chance to say hello before he started speaking with, “Can you meet me at the ranch today?”
“Yeah, what time?”
“As soon as you can get here.”
“I’ll head that way now.”
“Good. Be safe.”
And just like that, the line went dead, and the call ended.
Now, anxiety rushes through me as my car comes to a stop at the ranch, in the drive of his house.
“What are you doing, Izabel?” I whisper to myself, taking a deep breath, calming myself.
I’ve spent so much time running from this man, and now I’m quite literally running to him. Can you say enigma? Yeah, that’s me.
It’s time to face my fears head-on, and Jett is my biggest fear; letting go and accepting my feelings for him makes me vulnerable. He holds the power to be the axis my world spins, and I’m not sure I can handle that kind of relinquish of control. He holds the power to break me.
How can I trust that he won’t? Hell, how can he trust that I won’t?
After all this time, the same old questions plaque me. But no more. Fear can go fuck itself.
Taking a deep breath, I finally decided to put my big girl panties on and step out of my car. I’m not sure why, but I almost expect him to be waiting out here for me.
He isn’t.
Looking around, I notice a pathway of tealight candles placed on the ground in mason jars, leading to who the hell knows where.
Confused, I send Jett a quick text.
Izzy
Are you even here? I don’t see your truck.
His reply comes back almost instantly.
Jett
Follow the candles.
Izzy
Scavenger hunt? Not starting off strong there, Beast.
Not waiting for his reply, I reluctantly play along. I’m here to talk, and here I am, following fucking candles.
Yay for me.
Is it too late to run away? Fuck.
No.
Just like fear, I’m done with running.
Taking a breath, I manage to pull my shoulders back, straighten my posture, and raise my chin the fuck up.Following the candlelit pathway, I turn a corner past the row of trees, and a giant green barn comes into view.
Why the fuck am I going to a barn? Also, why the hell is it green, and why is it all the way back here?
I’m growing more annoyed with each step, yet I continue on my trek.
Approaching the barn, I notice a sign hanging on the door.
More to this scavenger hunt? Ugh.
The sign reads, “I know I haven’t given you many reasons to trust me lately, but I need you to try to have a little faith in me. I plan on giving you every reason to stay this time. I want to remind you...”
Remind me of what? Why does it end there?
With a huff, I open the barn doors and am met with none other than a saddled-up Harry Fucking Trotter.
“Oh, fuck no,” I declare, a little louder than I expected.
Whipping out my phone, I don’t hesitate to send the next text.
Izzy
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND?!
Jett
Do you trust me?
Izzy
Pfft! Barely! You’re pushing it, Big Guy.
Jett
I know giving up control is hard for you, Beauty. I know not having all the answers at the tips of your fingers isn’t easy. But I need you to do this. I need you to see...
Izzy
See what?
Jett
That it’s all been worth it.
How do I argue with that? Yet, he has high hopes because I’m mighty confused how everything I’ve been through has been ‘worth it,’ but I’ll roll with it. I guess.
Hesitantly, I approach the ginormous horse. He locks eyes with me, and I swear he’s sending warning glares my way.
“Look, fucker. I don’t like this any more than you do,” I mumble to the damn horse, and I climb up, trying to remind myself how to do this again.
It takes a moment, but Harry Trotter and I get in a groove, then begin following the pathway of candles out the back end of the barn.
I’m taken aback at the sight. Along with the candlelit mason jars,fairy lights are strung through the trees that line the path.
It’s breathtakingly beautiful.
Okay, maybe I’m a tad less annoyed now.
Harry Trotter and I are making slow progress, both unsure of one another. We round the first curve, and Polaroid pictures hanging in mason jars in the trees come into view.
Pulling the reins, Harry Trotter comes to a stop, giving me a moment to take it all in.
“Wow,” I gasp. They’re all pictures of Jett and me through the years when we were younger. How the hell does he still have these? There’s even one from the night we went skinny-dipping on the beach.
We move again, just as emotion overtakes me.
The next jar I come to has a note in it. I pull Harry Trotter to come to another stop, and reach for it, reading what it says aloud, “I want to remind you of why we never fell out of love.”
Tears threaten to build up while reading the note two more times. Although my instinct is to say, Fuck you, emotions, I let the joy wash over me. I let myself feel.
I’m all too excited as we approach each jar toward what appears to be the end of the path.
In the last jar is another note, again reading it aloud: “True love doesn’t simply end.
Even if it sits dormant, it remains. Always evolving and forever changing over time.
Through hardships, trials, and even distance, our spark still has the power to reignite into a flame. ”
This man.
He’s literally forced me to take a stroll down memory lane, and I needed it. Seeing every picture, every memory, and every reminder of what started us has me questioning why I ever ran to begin with.
A lone tear trickles down my cheek as the path gives way to a clearing.
It’s the spot.
The spot he tried to take me to all of those years ago.
I hop down off of Harry Trotter’s back just as Jett comes into view.
The entire scene takes my breath away—flowers in full bloom, the setting sun, and swarming butterflies. It’s exactly what I ran away from all those years ago and exactly what I’m running toward at this moment.
Literally, I’m running to him. Seeing him, I just... need to be near him.
“You actually showed up...” Jett says nervously, shifting on his feet as he shoves his hands into his pockets, as if to stop himself from reaching for me. I want him to.
“Here I am,” I deadpan, but I'm not sure what else to say.
The idea of meeting up with him sounded much better in my head than in reality. This is hard. There’s so much to discuss, yet I’m unsure where or how to start.
“I’m so sorry, Izzy. I’ve apologized a hundred times, and I’ll apologize a million more if that’s what it takes.
I broke your trust. Tell what to do to rebuild what we have and repair what I damaged.
” Jett releases a sigh, taking a step closer to me, but he still doesn’t reach for me.
Good. If he touched me right now, I’d cry.
“Anything you want or need, I’ll do it. More space?
It’s yours. You want to punch me? I’ll take the hit.
You need to take things slow? Great, let’s start as friends. ”
“What’s your point, Jettson?” I try to say it with my usual sass, but the softness in my voice betrays me.
“My point is, I’ll do anything. Whatever is necessary. I just need you. Being without you is like being without oxygen. You give me purpose, Izabel. Without you, there’s no point. I want every day, every second of the rest of my life to be filled with you.”
Heat pricking my eyes, I take a moment to let his words truly sink in. Finally, I scoff, and his eyebrows pinch together in confusion.
“If you think for a second that we can be just friends, then you are more delusional than I originally suspected,” I say, taking a step toward him, one that closes the distance between us. His arms instinctively pull me in as mine wrap around him, as if I’m clinging to him for dear life.
“I missed you, Beauty,” he says, whispering into my ear.
“I know,” I respond, angling my face up, waiting for him to kiss me.
He doesn’t. Instead, he pulls back.
What the fuck?
“This won’t be easy,” he says softly. “Some days will be super fucking hard. But I want it. I want it all. If it means I get you, I want every hurdle, every struggle. Every. Fucking. Thing. But you have to promise me no more running.”
My arms tighten around him. “I’m done running, Jett. I’m done being scared. All we’ve had has been intertwined in secrets and omissions, on both of our parts, to protect one another. If we do this, it has to be rebuilt from the ground up, based on hard truths.”
He brings a hand to my cheek, knuckles gently ghosting across my skin. I lean into the touch, wanting more, but willing to wait. We both have more to say, and I want to speak and hear all of it.
“Hard truths,” Jett says, repeating my words as he nods in understanding. “No more secrets.” Slowly, he begins to sway us, the smile I love spreading across his face. “Sounds like the perfect question of the day. What’s your hard truth, Iz?”
Lifting my hand to his on my cheek, I pull it to my side, linking our pinkies.
“My hard truth is I fell in love with you years ago. I was terrified of being hurt after a life of only knowing pain, so I did what I do best, and I ran away.” I rest my head on his chest, continuing to speak, “We had a baby, a baby that didn’t get to live its life.
I selfishly kept that from you, thinking you’d be better off not knowing the pain of that grief.
After all those years apart, my stubborn heart never let you go, yet it fell for another man.
I tried to continue running from you, but that was impossible.
I made the choice even before Maverick’s tragic passing. My choice has and will always be you.”
Jett doesn’t speak right away, yet his hold on me tightens.
Finally, he says, “Ask the question, Izabel Landry.”
Smiling against his chest, I do. “What’s your hard truth, Jettson Cole?”
“My hard truth is I fucked up from the second I let you walk away all those years ago. I need you to trust me when I say I will never let it happen again. You aren’t going anywhere this time, Beauty. This place is your home. If you want it to be.”
My home?
It hits me then. My house hasn’t felt like home because he does.
Tilting my chin, I look up into those green eyes that have always seen past all my walls. The eyes that have always seen me.
“I want that, Jett. More than anything.”
Jett is my home.