Nineteen
Avery
Week Five — July
In the days that have passed since our excursion to Veil Falls, Kaleb and I have found ourselves falling into a bit of a pattern. Spend the day wrangling the kids, stealing glances and secret smiles whenever they’re all too busy to notice. And then every single night, long after the kids are tucked in for the evening, I find myself in Kaleb’s cabin.
In his bed.
Sometimes, far later into the night than we should.
The amount of time we’ve spent learning each other’s bodies has been well worth the lack of sleep. Though, in the moments where I have to tap into my outdoorsiness, sometimes I think I could use those extra hours of shut-eye.
Right now, as Kaleb and I set up today’s weird geocache-style scavenger hunt for the kids, would be one of those moments. One, because we had to get up two hours early in order to finish placing all the items in time. And two, because I’m trying to navigate my way to the next location using only a fucking map and compass.
Kaleb’s idea, not mine.
I let out a frustrated sigh and look over to where Kaleb is watching me with barely contained laughter.
God, he looks good with his stupid, grown-out beard and his stupid lumberjack flannel and that stupid hat sitting backward on his head. And let’s not forget the stupid, mirthy smirk on his face.
“Need help?”
“Yes,” I grumble, hating that I need his assistance. However, I’ve learned not to let my stubbornness get in the way of asking for help, and that has to count for something.
Kaleb steps closer and looks down at the map in my hand before checking the instruction sheet in his own. His brows draw down as he compares the two, only to look up and gather his bearings. The lightbulb flicks on almost instantly, and I watch in awe as he takes about thirty steps off the trail, pulls a small container that looks eerily like a rock from his backpack, and nestles it in with some other real rocks.
What the shit…
“Okay, next one,” he calls as he makes his way back to the trail.
I glance back at the map and compass before looking back at him. “Tell me again why we’re doing this?”
“We’re double checking the instructions the kids will get when they start hunting. If we hide anything in the wrong place, they won’t be able to find it.”
“No, I meant with this shit,” I say, holding up the tools I’m fucking useless with.
He chuckles and plucks them from my grasp. “It’s meant to be a fun way for the kids to learn how to use them, along with landmark bearings, to navigate when they’re hiking. There might come a time when they need the skill, so practicing is a good idea.”
“Well, I’ll make sure to tell Colin his little game isn’t very fun for the ones who have to do the hiding.”
“I’m the one who came up with the geo-hunt, actually.”
I blink, not sure if I’m in awe of his brain power or if I loathe him for making me navigate his twisted perversion of a scavenger hunt.
Sorry, geo- hunt.
My face must give away my thoughts, because Kaleb shoots me a sheepish grin. “What? I was really into geocaching for a while. Creating the geo-hunt felt like a kid-friendly alternative for camp.”
Of fucking course.
“And at some point while you were creating this tenth circle of Hell, did you somehow forget we live in the era of cell phones coming with GPS?”
Amusement has his green eyes gleaming like the forest in sunlight. “And if your phone died or you didn’t have service? What would you do then?”
“Probably die,” I deadpan.
“Exactly,” he says, pointing at me with the hand holding the compass. “Call it an insurance policy.”
And with that, he flips to the next set of instructions and sets out down the trail toward the location listed.
We continue hiding the containers, and I’ll admit, the navigation part gets slightly easier for me after a while. Granted, Kaleb still has to help half the time, but at least I’m not completely incompetent by the time we’re halfway done.
“How the hell did you get so good at all this?” I ask as we trek toward another set of hiding places along the eastern edge of Glass Lake. “I mean, besides spending your childhood summers living in the wilderness.”
“My dad was the one who got me into the outdoors, if that’s what you mean. It was something we did together when I was a kid, before I was old enough to come to camp.”
“Maybe it’s a genetics thing, then,” I mutter.
Lord knows that would make sense, seeing as my father wouldn’t be caught dead in the mountains unless he was in a ski chalet drinking some stupidly expensive bourbon with a business associate.
“Not quite possible, since he isn’t my biological dad. Good theory, though.”
He says it so casually, I almost miss the bomb he dropped.
Almost.
I blink at him a few times, the question coming out before I can stop it. “Are you adopted?”
He shakes his head before pausing, contemplating his words. “I mean, yes and no. My mom is my mother, he’s my stepdad. Technically, he adopted me after they got married when I was five. But he’s still the only father I’ve ever known, and he’s never treated me like anything less than his own son, so I don’t really think of it any differently.”
“And he knows you’re gay?”
He’d told me previously that his entire family knew about his sexual orientation, but I can’t stop the question from coming anyway.
“He was the first person I told.”
I blink, processing the information and wondering why he never told me these things before. More importantly, I wanna know why he feels comfortable enough to share them now.
As we continue hiking through the forest, hiding items for the hunt along the way, my mind continues reeling with these revelations.
His family is still blended, in a way, but from the outside, no one would ever know it. It’s obvious from the way he and his brothers interact they were raised with laughter, love, and acceptance.
It fills me with a sense of longing.
I didn’t want for much when it came to material things, but it’s obvious that doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme. I’d give up all the years of sailing or baseball camps or anything else to have a father who could accept me as I am. Who didn’t ingrain hatred into the very marrow of my bones.
Hell, Kaleb’s dad was able to accept that Kaleb is gay, and he isn’t even related by blood. Why can’t the one person biologically programmed to love me unconditionally do the same?
That one goddamn question swirls in my mind for far longer than I should allow it while Kaleb and I hide the remaining containers. It’s still playing on a loop when we start heading back to the lodge, with twenty minutes to spare, and it’s Kaleb’s voice that finally pulls my thoughts free.
“Oh, by the way. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
I glance over to where Kaleb is trekking down the path beside me, only to find him grinning at me deviously.
Arching a brow, I ask, “Is it a good one or a bad one?”
“Since when are surprises bad?”
My immediate thought is always , but that’s because I personally don’t like them. Blame it on the lack of surprise birthday parties as a kid.
“Under normal circumstances, it’s rare.” A returning grin pulls at my lips. “With you, on the other hand, it’s a fifty-fifty shot.”
He knocks me with his shoulder playfully, and the contact has electricity zinging through my entire body.
“I’m offended,” Kaleb states, pressing a hand to his sternum. “Maybe I should tell Colin to forget it, then. That we couldn’t use a two-day weekend after all.”
My ears perk up immediately. As much as I’ve started enjoying myself while hanging around the kids, forty-eight hours without them really does have a nice ring to it.
“Two-day weekend?” I echo. When he nods in confirmation, I let out a little laugh before asking, “How the hell did you manage that?”
He shrugs, feigning indifference, but the little smirk he flashes makes it obvious that he’s pleased with himself. “I guess having some seniority here has its perks.”
It takes all my willpower not to roll my eyes.
“Last time I checked, I haven’t even made it through one summer, so tell me again how this equates to seniority?”
His tongue presses into his cheek. “Okay, so maybe Colin was planning to give us one anyway.”
Thought so.
“Sounds like this is more Colin’s surprise than yours, LaMothe.”
“Ah, see, but that’s where you’re wrong,” he says, pointing at me. “My surprise is what we’re gonna do over the two days we’re blissfully tweenager-free.”
“And let me guess, I won’t be finding out beforehand what it is.”
“See? You’re finally starting to figure it out.”
This time, I don’t stop the eyeroll. “By any chance, is the place you’re taking me somewhere back in civilization? Or are we taking another excursion up this godforsaken mountain?”
“Civilization? Not a chance in hell, city boy. But I think you’ll like it regardless.” A grin tugs at the corner of his mouth. “So, what do you say? You in?”
I pause dramatically, making a big show of pondering before I mutter, “Let me think about it.”
Deep down, I think we both already know I’m in. It doesn’t really matter where he takes me—the mountain, the city, the fucking moon—as long as he’s there too.
I’m not quite sure what’s happening between us now. Ever since Veil Falls, it’s become nothing but light, flirty exchanges. Lots of laughter. And yeah, giving each other some pretty great orgasms.
It could be considered friends with benefits, I suppose.
But, while I can’t speak for Kaleb, it feels like more than that for me.
Maybe because I have the freedom and safety to explore a part of me that…fuck, I’m still struggling to accept. Even with how much I’ve come to crave his body pressed against mine lately.
Those are the only moments, when I’m grounded by his touch, that I’m able to push the venomous attacks on my mind away. The heat of his skin, the pleasure in every kiss or caress, they act as an antidote to Shame’s poison. But once I’ve retreated to my own bed, shrouded in the darkness of my own mind, there’s nothing blocking out the cruel, vicious screams.
Repulsive. Abhorrent. Disgraceful.
Abomination.
They’re not deafening when he’s near, though.
And definitely not when he’s smiling at me the way he is right now.
Later that afternoon, Kaleb and I break the kids into groups by their bunking arrangements and pairing them with another cabin. Each group of six is then assigned to me, Kaleb, or one of the counselors-in-training we stole for the afternoon, in case they need help. And also to make sure they don’t get lost, though if we’re relying only on compass and map skills, I don’t know how much help I’d be in that particular scenario.
Shit, maybe I need a CIT to come with my group too.
After that, every group is given a different sheet of instructions to hunt for all six of their specific containers, and the only rule is that one kid is in charge of navigating per container, rotating so everyone gets a turn to test their skills with a map and compass. It also allows them to use their friends as help too, which makes the system all the more genius.
My group consists of Elijah, the twins, and the cabin containing Jordan, Tyler, and Jared. They’re all bursting with excitement as we head up the trail, Jordan taking the first crack at navigating for us. The two groups with the other counselors head out to start their hunt, and once Kaleb wrangles his group of six as well, we set out with our kids toward the first location.
Despite every group searching for their own containers, every number is in the same general vicinity. The ones are all about a mile past the north trailhead, the twos are hidden down by the lake, and so on and so forth. Again, genius, not only to keep the groups together if we couldn’t get CITs to come help us, but because it would’ve taken twice as long to hide these damn things otherwise. Especially with the bushwhacking—Kaleb’s term for going off-trail—we did to actually get them in the right locations.
And even if I was annoyed by the efforts we went through this morning, I’ll give it to him; he really did think of everything when he came up with this activity for the kids.
The two of us chat idly as we follow the lead of our navigators, keeping a steady pace up the trailhead until we reach a fork. Max is navigating for Kaleb’s crew, and he’s already turned off to the left and is climbing through the brush, the others in his group hot on his heels.
“Damn, they’re quick,” I mutter to him, watching as they search high and low around a tree for the first hidden container.
Kaleb smirks and is about to answer when the sound of shouting from my own group pulls his attention.
“Kaleb! Can you help us?”
We both glance over to where Colton just called from, finding they turned left at the fork and are now thirty yards away and heading down a gradual incline in efforts to find their own container. Well, Elijah and the twins are making their way; Jordan, Tyler, and Jared are still on the trail, looking warily in our direction.
Kaleb silently takes in the scene, and I watch the gears turn in his brain while he assesses the situation before calling back, “I’ve gotta check on my group, Cole, but I’m sure Avery can!”
I gape at him, not sure I heard him right. “You’re joking.”
“You’re a quick learner, Aves. I’m sure you can handle it.”
I don’t miss the innuendo in his statement. After all, he knows just how fast of a learner I am. Last night was the perfect example of it, when I finally worked up enough nerve to try giving my first blowjob.
And boy, was he a fan.
Yet, what really has my stomach knotting on itself is the little nickname slipping free. I’m not sure he even realized what he said, but I do. After only ever being Avery or Reynolds to him, how could I not?
I shove it to the side, though, instead choosing to focus on Kaleb throwing me to the goddamn wolves.
“You live to torture me. You know that, right? Fucking sadist.”
His grin only grows. “You say that like you don’t know exactly where they’re hidden.”
Fair enough, though that doesn’t negate the very real possibility that I’m about to make a fool of myself in front of these kids the way I did with Kaleb this morning.
Letting out a long sigh—and flipping Kaleb the bird behind my back—I head over to where my half a dozen heathens are waiting for some assistance.
“Okay, what’s the issue here?” I ask once I reach them.
The twins and Elijah have climbed back up to the trail, and Dayton motions toward the map and instructions in Jordan’s hands.
“Jordan followed the map, and the clue said it should be right down there”—he points at the spot they just climbed from—“but none of us are finding the container.”
Six sets of eyes fall to me before Jordan holds out the map, compass, and instructions for me to take. And begrudgingly, I accept them.
Reading the instructions, I vaguely recall the location of where we hid this particular container. The problem is, the boys aren’t anywhere near it. Okay, not entirely true. They just turned the wrong way at the fork and should be about sixty yards in the opposite direction.
“Uh, so I think you might’ve been holding the map wrong?” I point down at the spot where we actually are compared to where we should be. “This is where we really are, but you wanna go back to the fork and then go the same distance in the other direction.”
Dayton looks up at me, dumbfounded, before he shoots a glare at Jordan. “Really? I thought you said you could use these.”
“It was an honest mistake,” I cut in, trying to sound as authoritative as I can manage.
With that bit of helpful information, the kids and I set off toward the actual location where the container is hidden. We approach Kaleb’s group on the way, still in search of their first find, and I notice him studying me with a curious gaze when we pass by.
More than anything, I wish I knew what he was thinking. That I could crawl inside that mind of his and weave my way through his thoughts, dissecting them as I go. But that’s unfortunately impossible, seeing as I’m not a sparkly vampire named Edward.
However, I do catch his subtle nod of approval before Elijah drags my attention away with his ever-inquisitive mind.
“When did you learn to read a map?”
This morning, and I’m only about sixty percent literate.
I shoot him a grin. “I’ve got some tricks up my sleeve, kid. Don’t you worry.”
Jordan stops suddenly, staring down at the map in his hands, and the rest of the group gathers around him while he checks our location with the compass.
“Okay, so it should be here, right?” Jordan asks before holding them out for me again.
Despite knowing this is, in fact, where we were supposed to be, I double check anyway. Using the map and compass, I align the two the way Kaleb showed me and then check my surroundings for landmarks.
“Yep,” I confirm, then glance down at the instructions for the final clue. “Sounds to me like you’ll be climbing into something hollow. Should be just down the hill a bit, but be careful when you—”
The six of them race off the trail, heading toward their destination: a large, hollowed-out tree stump big enough for one or two of them to climb inside.
With it being Jordan’s find, Elijah and Colton link their hands together for leverage and a little boost off the ground. Then he climbs up the ten or so feet to the top of the stump before disappearing inside it.
“This is so cool!” I hear Jordan shout, and instantly, the others want their chance to get a look too, all climbing up the outside to peer down below.
A smile pulls at my lips while I watch them work together, and it only grows as they celebrate their success when Jordan emerges with the container in hand.
Elijah and Cole share a high five while Jordan holds out the container to Dayton so he can climb back out of the stump. Kaleb had hidden random things inside each find, and this one happens to have a tiny orange triceratops figure, which Jordan seems pretty pleased about when he pops it open.
The six of them clamber their way back to where I’m waiting on the trail, possibly more excited than they were when this adventure started—Elijah most of all.
“It’s my turn next!” Elijah shouts with excitement before pressing his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.
I hand off the tools to him, doing my best not to laugh at his enthusiasm. After all, getting him to enjoy camp and connect with the other kids is half the reason I’m here, though that seems to be a fact I often forget.
Elijah is already reading the next set of instructions, the rest of the kids hanging on his every word, before he aligns the map and compass to get his bearings. When he looks up at me for approval, I motion toward the trail.
“Lead the way, kid.”
They all set off, Elijah in the lead, and when I turn to follow, I find Kaleb’s gaze on me again. His group is already heading off in the opposite direction under the leadership of their new navigator, disappearing down the trail with my own group hot on their heels. But Kaleb is still here. Watching. Waiting.
And when I get closer, I realize…he’s fucking smiling.
“Not bad, rookie,” he muses as we set out after the kids together. “We’ll make a wilderness junkie out of you yet.”
We continue like that, trailing after the kids and helping them as needed, for another couple hours, filling the time with easy jokes and conversation. And lots of passing glances too. I swear, every time I turn my back to chat with one of the kids or reorientate them, I can feel his gaze on me.
And when I finally refocus my attention on him, he doesn’t look away. He just studies me for a second and grins, only to continue whatever conversation we were having before the interruption.
I think Elijah’s even started to notice with how many times it’s happened, because he asked why Kaleb keeps watching me. So when we’re trekking with the kids to the sixth and final location, I take it as an opportunity to say something.
Discreetly.
“Since you’re the one who made this whole game up, maybe you can help me with these last set of instructions,” I murmur, holding them out for him to take.
His eyes narrow with equal parts suspicion and curiosity as he takes them from me, a smirk sitting on his lips when he glances down at the page. A smirk that grows into a full-blow smile when he reads the note I’d written near the top.
Stop looking at me like that. These kids notice everything.
My heart is racing, pulse thudding beneath my skin, and when his brow arches playfully after his attention returns to me, I can feel the idiotic smile crossing my face.
“Seems easy enough to follow.”
But despite the warning, he still can’t seem to look away.
And neither, it seems, can I.