Chapter 8
Chapter Eight
Rhett
I love her shy little kisses. Her questioning first attempts at using her mouth to make love to someone. I love the fact that she’s innocent and I am the one she is allowing to open her eyes for the first time, like a present on Christmas morning. Like she is my gift to unwrap. I love the fact that she is soft in places I am hard, that she doesn’t understand what she likes and doesn’t like yet. I want to be the one she learns that with. I want to be Charity’s first. And her last.
I try to keep the kisses light and soft, softer than I want them to be, so she has time to learn, to explore, to enjoy. But my little angel is a fast learner and after only a few moments of exploration and shyness, she is turning the tables on me and making me feel brand new, questioning what I thought I knew. Before I realize what I’m doing, I’ve picked her little ass up and sat her in my lap. Her hands come up to find my shoulders as she nibbles along my bottom lip as her hips start to rock against me.
A part of me is afraid we will go too far while another part of me knows we already have. The last thing I want is to scare her away with the intensity I have for her, my sheer need. I have to remember no matter how much we’ve laughed and talked tonight; she still doesn’t know who I really am, all the dark things I’ve done in my life, all the misery I’ve caused for other people…and businesses. Would she still be here with me if she knew? Would she still trust me enough to move against me like she is now? Or would she run screaming?
Or worse…would she change how she is to flatter me? Pretend to be something she isn’t, like so many others have? I couldn’t stand it if she turned away from me but I wouldn’t be able to go on if she started kissing my ass like everyone else does or pretending to be interested in me like the other women who try to catch my attention but only want my wallet.
But God, it’s hard to remember any of this when she’s above me, in my lap, and all around me, her scent, her touch, her mouth. For the first time in my life, my mind empties, and I am aware of only this. No noise, no worry, no guilt, no outside concerns other than making this angel on top of me the happiest woman in the world.
I'm not sure which one of us leaves the other’s mouth to kiss other places, probably me, but her mouth is just as eager to explore as mine is. And where her mouth goes so does a trail of fire. I have never wanted someone as much as I want her, never wanted anything as much as I want her to be mine. I run my hand through her hair and use it to pull her head back so I can reach the soft column of her throat, a little bit of the monster I’m trying to hide from Charity seeps out.
“Oh wow! I didn’t realize how fun kissing was. Or how magical it feels having it done in other places on me.”
“Oh, I know a couple of places it would feel even better if I kissed.”
She pulls away from me and I talk myself into letting her go, watching as the silken strands of hair slip through my fingers. “Really?”
I have to go back over my words to figure out what she is actually asking me. I was only paying attention to how good she felt and how soft her god damned skin is to give any of it to what we were talking about.
“I want you to kiss those places too.”
That pulls me out of my euphoria and Charity haze. “What?”
“I want you to teach me what that feels like too. Unless of course…maybe I shouldn’t…”
“I’m not sure you…I would love to…”
We both speak at the same time, her backpedaling and me throwing up excuses for why it might not be a good idea.
“I would love to kiss you in all those places but…I don’t want you to regret anything we do or worry that this is going somewhere you aren’t prepared to go.”
“If I knew what I was doing, would it go wherever you think it's going to go?”
“Yes, maybe, but if you knew where this was going to end up, I wouldn’t be teaching you about kisses.”
I can’t help but let my hands rest low on her hips or move them to her full bottom and rub the soft globes there.
“So…you don’t want to teach me because I might do something stupid and ruin everything?”
“What?! No! I…I like you and I don’t want you to hate me because we took things too far.”
“I won’t hate you, Rhett. I want you to kiss me in all those places. I like you too. I promise I won’t regret this.”
God damn it! How am I supposed to resist her? How am I supposed to be a good man -even if it is a lie- when she is offering me a glimpse of heaven?