Chapter 12
Jana
Spices! Now where did I go and put that fucking spice rack?I asked myself while going through piles of bags and boxes stacked in my kitchen.
After putting away our dinner, leaving our unfinished beers on the counter to drink while I got things sorted for what Brycen and I could tackle in the kitchen, I had opted to kill some time—and distract myself from our almost kiss—with transferring some spices into this new wall mountable spice rack I’d purchased. But damn if I could find it.
Bent over in half, ass up in the air, I cursed. “Where the fuck are yo?—”
My words faltered as I spotted the box that held the rack and bottles, and I simultaneously heard, “Uhm, Jana?”
“Huh?” I asked, turning to peer at where Brycen’s voice had come from and was met with two sets of eyes filled with humor. Shit! Taking into account the position I was in, I set the box down, and straightened to my full height. On a deep breath, collecting my humiliated self, I turned, then proceeded toward them, my hand outstretched, leading with, “You must be Tate.”
Smirking, his eyes held mine. “And you must be Janice Elway.”
“Jana’s fine,” I responded, his big hand enveloping mine entirely. Wow! Was it a requirement to be sexy as hell to work for NSI or something?
Tate’s man-bunned head tilted back and he roared with laughter as Brycen added, “Or something, I’d say,” before he joined him.
Oh my!“Please excuse my brain. Apparently, it missed today’s memo that not all thoughts should be spoken aloud. I blame it on Brycen, the beer, and the fact my mind hasn’t been challenged by work today.” I shrugged my shoulders, giving our new arrival a self-deprecating smile.
As soon as Tate released my hand, Brycen came to stand at my side.
“Rex left?” The man gave him a single nod in response. “Good. While you’re on, keep me in the loop if anything looks or feels off,” he told him. “We don’t know if this fucker knows where she lives, but he sure as fuck knows where she works.”
Tate had the tough-guy single nod down pat. “Anything else?”
“Nothing’s changed since we filled you in on where we’re at.”
The man’s demeanor transformed to something scary, “Yeah, let’s hope answers start coming soon.” His gaze set itself on me. “If you need anything, Little Lady, day or night, just holler.” Could his Texas drawl come out any thicker?
“O-okay,” I whispered.
Brycen wrapped an arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side. Tate didn’t pay attention to the gesture, his subtle quirk of a lip being the only giveaway to him noticing his co-worker’s move.
“Mean it, Jana.” The man’s imposing gaze kept mine trapped. “Day or night.”
Gulping down my apprehension, all I could do was nod. Just as soon as I did, Tate graced me with another one of those manly curt nods, turned on his heel and headed to the front of the house. After pushing a few buttons to arm the security system, he let himself out of the house, then the tumbler clicked to indicate I was once again locked into safety mode.
Brycen
“Jeeze! Does everyone who works for NSI have the if I look at you the right way, you’d be dead look?” she jabbered on, turning away from me, then headed back to the pile of boxes. Picking one of them up, she set it on the kitchen island and started removing what looked like small glass bottles with stainless steel lids. “What is up with you giants? And seriously,” she paused to look at me, unseeingly, “are good looks a prerequisite? I mean, I know Rex has a few scars, and I thought he was scary until Tate just now, but there’s something about Rex, you know?” Setting the last of the bottles on the counter, she turned for a cabinet where I spotted heaps of spices—bottles, shakers, bags—and she kept on going. “Who’d have thought it would take a bloody serial killer for a bevy of hot men to come knocking at my door?” She proceeded to scatter every package from her cabinets onto the island countertop. “Mom is having a field day trying to pick which one of you to marry me off to before she dies, by the way.” Stopping dead in her tracks, she dropped the last of the packages, her eyes beginning to water the moment she realized what she’d just said.
Oh, fuck!The waterworks were coming fast and furious, and it pained me to watch her suffer while keeping my distance, because I was fighting a bout of petty jealousy that had reared its ugly head around the time she started spouting stuff about my coworkers’ looks. “Shit, Jana.” My words were pained. It wasn’t like me to not offer comfort, and despite my hang-ups—or maybe to spite them—I took the necessary steps toward her, and pulled her into my chest.
“I don’t know why I said that,” she cried, her body shaking like a leaf as she struggled to keep her emotions in check.
“Sweetheart,” I said, kissing the crown of her hair, then squeezed her tight on a sigh after she’d wrapped her arms around my middle. “I’ve got you.”
Her nails dug into the back of my shirt, pulling me to her. “I’m sorry I even said it,” she hiccupped. “I-I…”
“Let it out,” I told her, “I’m not letting go.” I can’t, was left unsaid.
Spotting movement from the corner of my eye, I shifted my gaze to find Eloise standing in the kitchen’s entryway, taking the scene in with subtle trepidation in her expression.
Eloise
I watched as Brycen held fast to my daughter, and I knew. I knew she’d found the home she’d been destined to. I felt, with every fiber of my being, that the man who’d made us all breakfast this morning, only because he’d thought Jana looked tired, would be the glue who would keep us all together, even if I met my demise. Oh, my daughter was in trouble, and by the unapologetic look of sadness mixed with so many emotions in that man’s gaze as it connected with mine, if she didn’t know about his intentions yet—or even suspected them—she’d be in the know soon. I just prayed I’d be around long enough to see how it played out.
When Brycen crooked a small finger to get me to come closer, I shored my shoulders and made my approach.
“What’s all this?” I cooed, setting a hand on Jana’s shoulder.
“M-mama?” she hiccupped, then turned to take me in her arms, cuddling her head into the crook of my neck.
I held her fast and steady, my eyes burning at the strength of her emotions. Brycen made to take a step back, but I shook my head once, just as Jana’s hand reached out to clutch at the front of his shirt. The man offered us his silent support, allowing for my daughter to keep a single hand on him as he laid one upon my shoulder.
Calm. Steady. Strong.
“Now, now, baby girl, why don’t you tell me what these tears are all about,” I coaxed, knowing all too well the excitement of the past couple of weeks had reached its peak with her and was finally boiling over.
By the time I’d gotten Jana to spill the beans as to her current state of mind, my daughter had curled up alongside me in the bedroom she’d set up for me when I moved in.
Brycen had left us alone a little over an hour ago, allowing us time to talk, cry some more, stating he was just a holler away if needed, and if not, he’d be back to check on us anyway.
When the man made his reappearance, our eyes connected briefly before his soft gaze fell upon the exhausted and unconscious heap of my daughter and held there. He looked like a man who wanted. Pained. Confused. Undecided, yet strong in his convictions. He also looked as if he wanted to say something but was at an impasse.
Instead, he approached slowly, and sat in the reading chair that had been pulled closer to my bed so on my bad days, I could have a seat on something sturdier than a mattress to dress myself. After all, I still had my dignity to preserve, and if I could, I’d stretch that small luxury for as long as possible.
Leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, his heart in his eyes, he sighed, scrubbing at his face.
“Don’t sound so defeated,” I told him. As soon as his eyes met mine, I added, “She’ll see what’s been there all along, eventually.” Smiling, I extended my only free hand to him, not at all surprised when he took it in both of his immediately.
“How is she?” he rasped quietly so as not to wake her.
I shrugged, the guilt on how much I was reliant on her—Jason too—weighing heavily. “A wreck. I was wondering when she’d break.”
His hands gave mine a tender squeeze before he asked, “And how are you?”
“I’m as okay as I can be, Brycen.” I smiled sadly then looked to Jana, who was latched to my other hand, having pulled it to her chest. “She used to do this whenever she’d wake in the middle of the night from a nightmare,” I explained. “Very tactile this one. Just a simple touch calms her. It’s something you should remember for?—”
“Eloise,” he interrupted my train of thought, shaking his head.
“No,” I argued, tightening my hold on the hand of his that met my palm. “I’m not talking about when my time comes, Son,” I assured him. His relieved expression was palpable. “Honey, I’ve seen the way you look at her. It’s beyond simple interest.”
“It is,” he admitted. “Regardless?—”
“Oh, don’t you dare give me this whole it’s not the right time bullshit, Brycen Matthews,” I argued. “Jana’s told me about how you two met.” His eyes widened rather comically. “She’s never been one to have faith in relationships, probably because of what she’s been through, and what she’s witnessed between her father and me. It’s my fault she never believed in finding happiness with a partner. By the time I’d clued in to her rebellion against commitment, I was afraid I was too late. Now I know otherwise.”
“So, what you’re saying is?” he urged me to go on.
“What I’m saying is, you might have to knock her over the head with one of those crazy storage solution boxes littering the kitchen, or maybe something sturdier, but she’ll eventually come to see the truth.” I paused, leaning my head against the headboard and closing my eyes, feeling the potential of witnessing her joy warming me from the inside out. After a short moment of basking in the feeling, I opened my eyes once more, focusing on the man sitting across from me. “Whether you’ve realized it or not”—I nod my head to indicate Jana—“my daughter trusts you completely. She’s already in deeper than I’ve ever seen her with others. Letting you into her—into our—lives was a massive step for her. Giving of her true self, unafraid of showing emotion, that’s more proof.”
Brycen’s brows furrowed before he said, “She trusts all of us, it’s not just me. Eloise?—”
“Has she been crying all over Rex? How ’bout her brother? Or what’s his name…oh, that’s right…Cade, or how about that Dalton fellow or any of the others who come and go?” He shook his head hesitantly in answer but seemed to keep analyzing my words. “No?” I inquired as to his answer.
“N-no, ma’am,” he all but choked out. “We might have met before shit hit the fan, pardon my French, but she thinks this is nothing but a job for me at this point.”
“I highly doubt that, but you too will come to see,” I all but guaranteed. “Now come here.” I pulled him closer by his hands. “She needs her bed just as much as I need to settle for the night. I don’t have the heart to wake her, and?—”
“And you’re enjoying her closeness so much that you’re willing to suffer through a night of little to no sleep just to have Jana at your side,” he surmised.
Pulling my hand from his, I smiled, then patted his cheek. “Smart man.”
Brycen grinned. “Do you need anything before I take care of our girl, here?”
Checking that my glass of water was filled, and my pills were where they always were on my nightstand, I gave the man a tired smile and shook my head. “I’m good here.”
Leaning farther forward, having gotten to his feet, Brycen gently tilted my head forward, depositing the sweetest kiss to the crown of my head. “Get some rest. I’ll be checking on you later.”