Chapter Forty-One
“I wish I were a star,” I pant, hoisting myself into the crow’s nest. From here, I can see everything. Below, the warm glow of the lanterns makes the Lightbringer feel like the safest ship in all the world. Beyond, the black waters of the Dire seem to go on and on forever, a dark boundary that separates us from the monsters on land. And above… a sea of twinkling lights that leaves me breathless in a way climbing dozens of feet of rope cannot.
I shiver, plopping down on the weathered wood beside Owen. “Elsie says that stars are like little fires in the sky.”
He smiles slightly, offering me a tattered blanket Lewis had sewn together from woven sacks and scraps of cloth. “Who comes up with all that rubbish she reads?”
I wrap the blanket around my shoulders, grateful for the small reprieve from the chill. “The Nightweavers think themselves all-knowing. Call themselves ‘scientists.’”
Owen gives a short laugh, his gaze trained on the sky. I can’t help envying how at ease he is, as if this crow’s nest were the throne from which he rules his own private kingdom in the sky. Despite the frigidity of the night air, he props himself carelessly against the railing, one leg swung over his knee, unbothered by the raging wind that billows his shirt and rustles his dirty-blond hair. “I’d rather be a bird,” he says, lacing his hands behind his head. “Free to go wherever I please, whenever I please.”
“We are free,” I say, searching the constellations for my favorite cluster of stars. It takes me only a moment to locate the shape of a helm—Titus’s Keys, with which he ruled the twelve ancient kingdoms of the ocean. I smile a little. “We’re pirates.”
His carefree grin falters. “Freedom doesn’t come with restrictions, Aster. Pirates or not, there are places we cannot go. Things we’ll never see. Sometimes I just—” He sighs. Moonlight limns his eyes with silver. “Don’t you ever want more than these endless waves?”
I shrug. “The ocean keeps our family safe. That’s all I can ask for.”
“What about that chef you’re always reading about, Cornelius Drake?” Owen argues, a slight edge to his conversational tone. “Don’t you want a chance to cook with fresh ingredients? To taste the kind of food he talks about in that book of yours?”
“Of course I would. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve imagined a world without Nightweavers. But… Mother and Father are right. The land is theirs. The water belongs to us.” I hesitate. “You can’t still be angry—”
“They won’t even try.” Owen’s jaw clenches. “I’ve found it, Aster. I know it. The Red Island—it’s so close.” He gets to his feet suddenly, pointing east, where Astrid and Her Crown of Seven Candles mark the sky. “Just there. We could go. We can—”
“Owen,” I say gently. I stand, placing a comforting hand on his arm the way Father often does. “They’re just trying to do what’s best for our family.”
He tilts back his head, lips pressed tight. I know what he wants to say: The Red Island is what’s best for our family. But he doesn’t say anything. Not tonight. Something tells me he’s tired of talking. So I stay with him in this darkness, far above the waves. After a little while, Margaret’s laughter drifts from belowdecks, accompanied by Charlie’s shouting and Lewis’s cheers.
“Come on,” I say, nudging Owen. “Albert wants to play Clubs, and I need a partner.”
A cheeky grin touches his lips, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He takes a pack of cards from his pocket, plucking the knave of clubs from the deck and tucking it up his sleeve with a wink.
As I begin my descent, I look up to find him searching the sky, his tawny eyes reflecting the glittering night.
“One day, we’ll all be Stars,” Owen says quietly, fiddling with the band of braided leather at his wrist. “Then, we’ll truly be free.”
“The poison is spreading.” A lilting voice reaches me from far away. It sounds devastated, though I can’t imagine why. It’s peaceful here, in the silent dark, surrounded by an infinity of twinkling lights. “The enchantment around her heart is failing.”
Warmth wraps itself around me like a cloak. I’m a Star. The thought greets me like a gentle embrace. All around me, the other Stars come into focus, welcoming me in a language that goes beyond words.
“I can’t—” The boy’s voice breaks. “I can’t contain it much longer.”
“You have to!” another voice snaps, deep and rich. It comes from somewhere distant, where the howling whistle of a train and the rattle of a train car remind me of a time not too long ago, when I was taken from my beloved ocean. “If the venom reaches her heart—”
“I won’t let it!” That first voice, his lilting accent familiar in a way that stirs something within me, calls every fiber of my being to attention. He whispers, closer now than before, “Wake up, love. Now’s not the time for dying.”
Drawn to that voice, I kick, as if swimming toward the surface of the night sky. But my body is heavy. Too heavy. I struggle with all my might, clawing at the inky darkness in search of that lilting voice.
“ Live, Aster ,” he whispers. I feel his warm hand on my cheek, the only sensation in this unending void. “Remember, you have to live.”
Those words—the same words Captain Shade spoke to me the night he rescued me from the Deathwail —awaken something in me. Something that goes beyond my natural understanding, and yet feels more real and familiar than anything ever has.
“We’re losing her,” Will—I recognize the second voice, now—moans, his voice shaking. “Come back to me, Aster. Please, come back to me.”
Please. My heart breaks at the sound of that word—so broken, so desperate.
“Can’t you do something?” Will demands.
“I’ve done all that I can,” says the first voice. “It’s up to her, now—fight the change or accept it. It’s her choice.”
My choice. When has anything ever been my choice? It wasn’t my choice to abandon the land for water six hundred years ago. It wasn’t my choice to return to the land. Wasn’t my choice to go to Bludgrave Manor.
But… I chose to stay with my family when Captain Shade offered to take me with him. I chose to stay at Bludgrave Manor. When Will gave me the opportunity to leave… I stayed. I chose to work alongside him to find the Sylk. I chose to join the Order of Hildegarde, to fight in secret against the king and queen of the Eerie and all the injustice they’ve committed against my people.
Owen—he didn’t give me a choice. Letting Annie die in my place was never an option. I didn’t choose to let him turn me into a Shifter. He took that choice away from me.
Now I’m taking it back.
I will not let them take me. Not the Nightweavers, not the Underlings. Not even the Stars.
Live, Aster.
I choose to live.