Nineteen Letters

1. Jemma

Chapter 1

Jemma

“ I t’s a wet and dreary morning … ” is the first thing I hear when the radio booms to life, alerting me to the fact it’s time to get up.

I groan into my pillow because dreary doesn’t even come close to how I’m feeling. The thought of no longer being able to spend every waking minute with my gorgeous husband has already put a dampener on my day, and I’m not even out of bed yet.

I can’t believe our time off together has come to an end. I hate that I have to go back to work this morning and leave the little bubble Braxton and I have been living in for the past four weeks.

Right up until the wedding, things were so busy with our careers, building our dream house and organising our special day, that we didn’t get to see each other as much as usual. Everything combined seemed to take away from us being together. This one-on-one time we’ve had since tying the knot was just what we both needed.

“Morning, Mrs Spencer,” Braxton mumbles into the crook of my neck as he pulls me further into the warmth of his body.

We’ve often referred to each other as Mr or Mrs since we said our I dos . It’s been exactly nineteen days since we exchanged wedding vows, and I’m still floating on the high that’s always come from the man lying beside me.

“Morning, Mr Spencer,” I reply as I turn in his arms and lean my forehead against his. “I’m not ready to go back to work. I can’t stand the thought of spending the entire day without you.”

He chuckles as his teeth nip at my pouting lip. “I feel the same way, sweetheart. It’s gone way too fast. We should have taken two months off, instead of one.”

Despite him being a constant figure in my daily life for the past nineteen years, I still get a rush when I think about what our future together holds.

I met Braxton when my parents and I moved in next door. We were just kids, but we’ve been inseparable ever since. He’s my one and only. He always has been and always will be. He’s not only the love of my life; he’s my best friend, my soul mate, my forever boy .

The thought of my life without him in it is unimaginable.

Not only does he have the kindest and most beautiful heart, but he’s also incredibly easy on the eye, with his movie-star looks. I run my fingers through his dark-blond hair, which is a little lighter on the ends because of our time spent basking in the sun on our honeymoon in Hawaii.

My gaze roams over his perfectly sculpted face; his big blue eyes pop against his tanned skin. When he realises I’m checking him out, he gives me a smug grin. It’s a look that has always made me go weak at the knees. It also highlights the cute dimple on his left cheek. His front tooth turns in ever so slightly, but it takes nothing away from his Colgate-worthy smile.

“I could always call in sick,” I say, perking up for a moment, but in reality, I know it’s not possible. I have a big client coming in first thing Monday morning, and I need to prepare.

“If I didn’t have this damn meeting later this morning, I’d say do it,” Braxton replies.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“I’m going to miss you too, Jem. The past four weeks with you have been my kind of heaven.”

I sigh in agreement. “I’d give anything to be back in Kauai right now.”

My fingers move from his hair and tenderly skim down the side of his face as I speak. The beach has always been our favourite place. That’s why we built our dream home overlooking the ocean.

The soothing sound of the waves crashing against the shore as I drift off to sleep every night, and the sweet smell of sea air first thing in the morning, is cathartic. It’s also one reason we chose Hawaii—a beautiful villa on the majestic shores of Tunnels Beach—as the place to spend the first two weeks of our married life.

“Me too,” he replies, giving me a wistful look. “I’ll take you back there over the Christmas break, I promise.”

Christmas is ten long months away, but I guess we have the rest of our lives to create the kind of memories we did in Hawaii.

“I’d like that.”

My fingertips dance over his collarbone before moving across his shoulder. When they lightly skate a path down his strong back, he groans.

Untangling my legs from his, I pause briefly as I exhale a long, drawn-out breath. I don’t want to leave him. “I suppose I better jump in the shower.”

“Would you like some company?”

Reaching for me, he rolls onto his back, taking me with him. I laugh when he wiggles his eyebrows. I don’t have time for this, but I already know that isn’t going to stop me. I straddle his waist before leaning down to cover his mouth with mine.

The shower can wait.

Making love to this man is much more important.

I can already feel him hardening underneath me, so I slide my body back and forth over his growing erection, preparing myself for what’s about to come. I don’t stop until I’m a withering mess of need. Only then do I push myself up onto my knees and wrap my fingers around the girthy base of his penis and line him up with my opening.

His strong hands grip my hips, and we moan in unison as I sink down onto him. This is, and will always be, my favourite place to be.

My hands are resting on his muscular chest as our eyes lock. I rock my body against him before rotating my hips in a circular motion. I know he loves it when I do that.

“I love you, Brax,” I whisper. Although he knows how I feel about him, I feel compelled to say those words out loud.

“I love you too, Jem. So much.”

I know he does. Not a moment passes that he doesn’t show just how much.

He lets me take control for a couple of minutes before rolling us so he’s now on top. He’s not one to deny me of anything, but he’s always liked to maintain control in the bedroom. I’m okay with that, though, because he’s good at what he does. I’ll never tire of this, or the way he makes my body feel.

Braxton reaches for my hands, lifting them above my head and lacing his fingers through mine. We’ve always had such an incredibly strong bond, but when we’re connected like this, we become one.

My legs instinctively wrap around Braxton’s waist as I dig my heels into his firm, round butt, anchoring him to me.

He starts out slow, moving with long languid strokes, teasing me in the most delicious way. Our time this morning may be limited, but I know he won’t rush this. He never does. He’s such an unselfish lover and this won’t end until he has me fully satisfied.

We’ve been together so long now he knows my body inside out and exactly how to please me. I have a weak spot for this possessive side of him, and I love how he owns me in the bedroom.

Things don’t take long to heat up, and I’m now chasing my release, meeting him thrust for thrust. He knows it too, because he ramps up his movement, pounding into me at piston speed.

“Braxton,” I moan, pushing my head further back into the pillow as my back arches off the mattress.

“Come for me, Jem,” he growls, resting his forehead on my shoulder, and I do exactly what he asks—falling over the edge into that blissful place that only he can take me.

When my inner muscles contract around him, his movements become jerky, and his teeth sink into my flesh.

“That’s going to leave a mark,” I pant over his grunts.

A thin layer of perspiration mares his forehead as he draws back and smirks down at me. “I enjoy leaving my mark on you.”

I secretly like that too.

He is still inside me as my hands reach up to skim through his hair, and a dull ache settles in my chest as my eyes scan over his handsome face. Something deep inside is screaming for me not to leave … to stay right here, but I squash it down.

Braxton runs his knuckle down the side of my face as he asks, “Are you okay?”

He’s always been so in tune with me, so I shouldn’t be surprised that he senses that something is off.

“Yeah,” I reply, forcing out a smile, but for some reason, I’m now fighting back tears. Lifting my head off the pillow, I brush my lips with his. “I’m fine.”

Sometimes my feelings for this man overwhelm me, but there are also times I feel guilty because together, we’re perfect. None of our family or friends have the kind of relationship Braxton and I do. What we share is unique and unbreakable.

As I rush around putting the finishing touches on my make-up, I catch a glimpse of Braxton in the reflection of the mirror. He’s leaning up against the doorframe, watching me get ready. He’s shirtless and wearing a pair of grey sweats that hang low on his hips.

My pulse quickens as my eyes rake over his bare chest, and each delicious muscle that defines his torso, from the perfect V just above the waistband, right up to his washboard abs. One of my favourite things to do is watch him work out in the small home gym he set up in the garage. I don’t think he even realises how sexy he is. Growing up, he didn’t notice the way all the girls swooned over him. But I did.

My eyes move back to his, and the adoring look on his face sends my heart into a flutter. The sheer love I feel for this man consumes every fibre of my being. It’s euphoric.

“How long have you been standing there?” I ask as my mouth curves into a smile.

“I’m just admiring my beautiful wife.”

I love hearing him call me that. The way he has introduced me to people over the years has changed. When we were kids, I was his neighbour, then his best friend, girlfriend, and fiancée, but my new title is my favourite.

He pushes off the doorframe and stalks towards me. When his arms encircle my waist, he tugs me back until our bodies are flush and grinds himself against my backside. “Your arse in those pants,” he groans, and a soft moan falls from my mouth as his lips trail a path up my neck. I tilt my head to the side, allowing him better access.

“I’m already running late,” I breathe.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.” His warm breath on my skin leaves goosebumps in its wake.

“Me either.”

“The next eight hours are going to feel like an eternity.”

I sigh in agreement. “I know.”

His tongue glides over the sensitive spot behind my ear, sending shivers down my spine. He’s such a tease because he did that on purpose. “Don’t make any plans for tonight, because I’m taking you out to dinner.”

“You’re taking me out? Where?”

“The Sea Shanty,” he says over a growl as he sucks my earlobe into his mouth.

“What’s the special occasion?”

“Our anniversary.”

My eyes fly open to meet his in the mirror. “Our what?” My mind races. What anniversary?

He turns me in his arms so I’m facing him, then pulls a small black box from his pocket. “I was going to give this to you tonight, but I want you to have it now. Happy nineteenth anniversary, sweetheart.”

My hands tremble slightly as I take hold of the box. That’s when I remember that today we have been married for nineteen days, and a huge smile breaks out on my face. The number nineteen has always held special significance for us.

Tears of happiness pool in my eyes as I open the lid. Inside I find a white-gold necklace that’s holding a diamond-encrusted number-nineteen pendant.

“Oh, Braxton, it’s beautiful. I love it,” I say as my gaze moves from the necklace back to him. “I love you.”

He smiles as he tucks a lock of hair behind my ear. “I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you, Jem.”

“Same.”

A lump forms in my throat and I feel like I’m choking back tears, so I use my hand to fan my eyes; I don’t have time to redo my make-up.

Taking the box out of my hand, he removes the necklace. “Turn around and hold up your hair.” I do as he asks, gathering my long brown hair on top of my head so he can fasten the necklace. “Perfect,” he says, planting a soft kiss on my skin at the base of my neck.

My fingertips glide over the pendant as I admire it in the mirror. “Thank you … I’ll treasure it.”

Sliding his arms around my waist again, he rests his chin on my shoulder, and his eyes meet mine in the mirror. “You know, I’ve been thinking …”

“That could be dangerous.”

I laugh when he pokes my side. “I want you to stop taking the pill.”

I feel my heartbeat accelerate as I swing around to face him. “You do?”

“Yes. It’s time we gave it another try, Jem. I want to see our baby growing inside you.”

I swipe my finger under my eye to catch the stray tear that has fallen. “I want that too, but what about my job? We just took out a second mortgage to build this house … we need the money.”

He blows out a puff of air before continuing. “I know how much your career means to you, but you’re giving so much of yourself to that bastard Andrew. We both know he doesn’t appreciate you. Why don’t you think about setting up your own interior design business from home? That way, you’d be here to look after our son and still be able to do what you love.”

“Or our daughter,” I say with a smile.

“As long as our baby is healthy, I honestly don’t care what sex it is.”

I bow my head as memories of that dreadful day flood my mind. I want this so badly, but I’m scared. What if we have the same outcome as last time? I don’t know if I can go through that kind of heartache again.

“Can we talk more about it tonight over dinner? Andrew’s going to chew me out if I don’t get to the office soon.”

“He better not!”

I run my fingertip over Braxton’s forehead, trying to flatten out the crinkles of his frown. I love how protective he is. He hates the way my boss treats me, but he’d never interfere because he knows how much I love what I do.

The rain has eased by the time I’m ready to leave, but Braxton still insists on walking me out so I don’t get wet.

My fingers tangle in the hem of the T-shirt he just put on as we come to a stop beside my car. “Bye,” I say reluctantly.

“Don’t let Andrew keep you any later than needed.”

“I won’t,” I say, placing my lips against his. “Good luck with your meeting. They’re going to love the new design.”

“I hope so.” He opens the driver’s door and moves the umbrella closer to shield me from the rain. “Be careful on the roads, they’ll be slippery.”

“I will. Stop worrying.”

“I’ll always worry where you’re concerned, Jem. You are the most important person in my life … it’s my job to look after you.”

I smile up at him once I’m seated. “I love how much you love me.”

“That’ll never change,” he says, winking as he closes my car door.

My heart feels heavy as I blow him a kiss and reverse out of the driveway … I miss him already.

On my way to work, I’m driving cautiously but still faster than usual. I know I shouldn’t, considering the roads are slippery from all the rain, but the backlog of work I’m going to face from being on holiday for a month is making my stomach knot. The thought of facing Andrew in one of his moods this morning quickly undoes all the calm I’ve felt while away from him. Braxton’s idea of starting my own business sounds better by the second.

I smile to myself as I replay his words from earlier in my head. My hand automatically moves to skim over my stomach. I’d like nothing more than to have his baby growing inside me again.

“Shit,” I mumble to myself when the heavens open up.

I flick the wipers to full speed, but visibility is still poor. I can barely see the car in front of me now. I jump when my phone rings.

Gripping the wheel tightly with one hand, I blindly reach across the passenger seat with my other, trying to fish the phone out of my bag.

My gut tells me it’s Andrew, wondering where I am; I should have been there fifteen minutes ago. My chest tightens just thinking about it.

My eyes leave the road for a split second as I glance down at the screen. I was right, it’s him. As I attempt to accept the call, I hear the loud sound of an angry horn and the screech of tyres. My head snaps to the left as my body is thrown violently sidewards. The sickening crunching sound of metal is almost deafening.

Images of Braxton and our life together flash through my mind as a crushing sensation consumes the right side of my body. My head connects with the driver’s window, and the sound of shattering glass fills my ears.

Oh god. I don’t want to die.

“Braaaax,” I cry out as the world around me stills, and I succumb to the darkness.